36. The fat guy in a full roadie-style lycra get-up that's at least two sizes too small. And, for some unknown reason, you end up climbing right behind him. *shudder*
37. The smoking hot gal - We guys (and non-traditional women) have all seen her. Men have killed each other for lesser women. Not only is she unobtainable-level gorgeous, she's usually really nice and a great rider. And not single. (Side note - There was this one lady who used to ride our local trails in - I sh*t you not - a bikini top and daisy-duke lycra. Stunning.)
38. "Bubble boy" - The guy in the full face helmet and armor for the mellow XC ride. (Side note - we used to see this guy on our local trails. We called him "Robo Cop.")
39. The guy with the $75K vehicle and $10K bike. Only wears Assos and Rapha. Usually can't ride for squat. Likely deep in debt. All show, no go. It's like watching a 10 year old try to drive a Ferrari.
40. The bike shop mechanic. No complaints about this one. Pretty much every mechanic I've ever ridden with has been a skilled rider and really fun to hang out with during and after the ride. Also great to have on a ride if anybody has a mechanical. (See, I can be positive and not sarcastic. Something like blind squirrels and nuts.)
41. The trendsetter - This is the guy riding a singlespeed in 1985 and a fat bike prototype in 1990. He talked Gary Fisher into trying out 29" wheels because he'd been riding them for a couple of years. Always has the coolest new (insert bike frame/style/part here.) Can either be cool about it or can be a "Richard" by reminding you that you are riding a bike/part/frame/style that's no longer cool because his is the "latest technology" or the newest fun thing to ride/own/talk about.
42. Your buddy - Always fun to ride with, shows up on time, brings beer, rides the same pace and distance, fun to talk smack with, knows and discusses topics that don't include riding and bikes, and always willing to hang out after the ride for a beer. Good to have two or three of these guys (or gals) on the ride.
43. The smelly guy. His (it's never a her) sweat reeks so badly that you always make sure you stay upwind of him. NEVER EVER ride downhill behind him. You wonder if he's ever bathed or bothered to wash his riding gear.
That's all I can think of for now. Looking forward to my third solo ride of the week today.
Actually kind of a fun thread....I ride alone or with others..I've been the fast guy, the slow guy, the broken bike guy, the late guy...etc.
Several years ago we started a Thurs night group and sometimes there are 15 sometimes there are 3..
If I'm cranky after a bad day at work I'll just show up and start before the group gets there. The ride usually fixes my attitude and then I can enjoy the hanging out for beverages afterwards...
I just want to ride....sometimes socially and sometimes I just want to try to turn myself inside out and not worry about anyone else's pace...it's ALL good
+1 to that! These two are the best riding buddies ever; they never complain about the mud, never get a flat, never hold me up or slow me down, are always keen and always on time!
Originally Posted by moefosho
That said, I enjoy riding with others, especially as it allows and encourages me to push myself more. I enjoy the tranquility of riding alone, and shiftwork means that often no one else is free to ride when I am, but do tend to take it a little easier for the sake of self-preservation.
I saw a full on Robo Cop on my ride yesterday who looked like he spends too much time at the donut shop. Don't get me wrong, I am all for heavy people getting out to sweat and shed some pounds.. Hell, I have a little beer belly myself. This guy was dressed for the Red Bull Rampage though and was riding in an area of the trail network that is all XC type stuff. Even had the GoPro on his full face helmet. Not only was he geared up to the nines but it was pretty dang hot here yesterday as well.
Originally Posted by Earthpig
I ride alone for the same reasons.
I'm a very lucky person. I have, as my daughter likes to say "Just enough of everything." Healthy kids, lovely wife, healthy finances, etc.
But there is one thing I never have enough of: Time. I travel for work 80%. I work 70+ hours a week. When I'm not traveling, I usually commute 70 miles one-way to my office in Atlanta traffic. With 4 kids, it's rare I don't have a gymnastics meet, dance recital, horse show, school play, award ceremony, or other activity to attend on a weekend.
So getting a few hours to ride on the weekend can be tough. Forget about riding mid-week!
I had a riding partner who had zero respect for my time. He was single and self employed as a carpenter. We'd plan to meet for a ride and he'd show up 45 minutes late. And then he'd need to work on his bike a bit. Then change clothes. Then make a phone call. In the end, the rare 3 hours I had to ride resulted in 30 minutes.
I stopped riding with him by telling him "You managed to squander the ONE THING in my life I don't have enough of."
Now I ride alone.
One of the many reasons I prefer to just ride alone.
I ride alone. Mostly because I don't really know many people around here. However, I like it. I always get impatient when I get stuck behind a group. On the flip side, I feel bad if I hold a group up.
Riding alone is the one time during the week where it's just me, myself, and I.
Here's a brief description of my regular ride buddies..
The Social rider - rides with me regularly twice a week but we only do less than 10 miles. He just likes hanging out the nearest coffee shop or Mcdonalds talking about bike stuff and other current random things for about 2 hours. We started out with a group of 5 but now it's only the two of us. When we part ways after 10 miles, I take the long way home and ride for another 15 miles.
The Sensitive whiner - I was this guy's very first ride buddy when he decided to take up MTB to do something about his weight problem. I managed to motivate him to regularly ride following his most convenient schedule. He started at a 5 mile limit and after a year of riding, he can easily do 25 - 30 miles. Then I discovered Strava and I noticed little by little that he was struggling to keep up with me. Then he starts making excuses like he has a sore back, a sore knee, an upset stomach etc, etc. and cancels on the last minute on rides he actually scheduled himself. Recently out of nowhere he tells me he can't ride this week because of a busted toenail. I kidded him a little about it and told him to HTFU and I haven't heard from him again since.
The Mile Eater - this guy is an XC monster. He rides 3 times a week regularly in distances I can only do once a week. When we do get to ride together, I'm the one doing catch up and he does the waiting. Then I introduced him to Strava... and I haven't gotten an invite to ride with him since.
When you ride with the kind of bike crazy nuts I ride with, no shows and late arrivals are not usually an issue.
Sent on my Droid while hitting that $h!t
Good lookin pups!
Originally Posted by David R
HA! Funny list Earthpig. Funny because it's true! Most of the archetypes have been mentioned, but here is a couple more.
44. Heart Rate Monitor Guy. To be heart rate monitor guy you ride a carbon 29er, usually a hardtale but not always. Heart Rate Monitor guy doesn't ride he "trains". He has some sports drink crap in his camelback, and is never down for a burger & beer post ride as that may affect his "training" negatively. Despite all his efforts of keeping track of his heart rate and bland lifestyle, heart rate monitor guy is not a very skilled rider. Nor is he exactly very fast or have super human endurance juxtaposed against average riders that enjoy a good beer or many post ride.
45. Blue tooth earbud phone guy. You know the gaper that wears that horrendous phone in his ear while riding? Yeah this guy is so important that he must have a phone on him at all times.....even while on a MTB. Now this guy may not be a part of your crew or anybody's crew but you've seen him out there on the trail. Maybe you even rolled up on him on the trail & wondered......who the hell his he talking to? Only to realize ahhh...... it's blue tooth earbud guy.
46. The Map Checker. You definitely know this guy. So 2-6 of your closest buds have gotten together to ride a 30 miler on the weekend. Maybe 2-3 of you have looked over the map & are good to go....but not Map Checker. Despite 100% confidence with your route map checker has to check the map again & again.......AGAIN! Every cross trail, every small vista, every creek crossing etc. Usually it's your map but map checker will demand for you to fish it out so can scour over it yet again. Map checker guy becomes increasingly annoying with map checking toward the end of big ride once fatigue is a factor.
47. Afraid of the dark guy. This guy I don't quite understand as I've known 2 of them & they were otherwise seemingly normal other than a complete irrational paranoia of being caught out after dark. You would never know afraid of the dark guy unless your ride starts to push into the evening. At this point he will start to drop hints increasing in frequency & alarm as dusk draws near. Funny thing is I have never been caught out in the dark with afraid of the dark guy.
48. Jeans & Workboots guy. Jeans & workboots guy is easy to spot as he is riding with jeans & workboots on what seems to be his moms 10 speed from 1985. Now jeans & workboots guy isn't part of your crew in any way but you know him. Either he is an old friend or you met him through work or something. He used to be in the army and "ride" and has a "mountain bike". The only problem being this was all 25 years ago in which time jeans & workboots guy has taken up smoking, eating fast food, and is an alcoholic. Inevitably he guilt's you into including him on ride because Jeans & workboots guy is delusional.
I logged onto the MTBR forums, and what do I see at the top of the page? "WHALENARD"
Originally Posted by WHALENARD
Great handle! Gave me chuckle, thanks!
ISO: 22" GT Rebound frame, year 2000 model
Tell me about the fish.
Originally Posted by sumer
Yeah sounds interesting, I have a 500g aquarium with South American fish, mainly Loricariids and Geophagus. Going fish-hunting in Peru would be a dream trip!
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