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Thread: Mythbustin'.

  1. #1
    This place needs an enema
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    Mythbustin'.

    Many moons ago someone a lot smarter than me said something along the lines of, "<span style="font-style:italic;">There <span style="font-weight:bold;">can</span> be too much of a good thing</span>".

    Taking that statement literally and pondering a bit, I came to a few quick caveats.

    Powder skiing?

    Bacon?

    While I'd like to write that I immediately rattled off countless other exceptions to that "rule", the reality is that once I had pork on the brain, salivation and obsession quickly followed. Can a guy actually have too much bacon?

    Unpossible.

    Or so I theorized. Which quickly morphed into a need to test the theory. And it didn't take long to find <a href="http://www.bbqaddicts.com/blog/recipes/bacon-explosion/">the means</a> to do so.

    I didn't come up with any other exceptions on the ride to the market, but I *did* get there PDQ.

    (<span style="font-style:italic;">To my dear, dear non-meat eating friends that find themselves sickly fascinated but afraid to read further: Click <a href="http://blog.smokeindaeye.com/2009/01/30/facon-explosion-the-fauxbq-recipe-of-all-recipes.aspx">HERE</a></span>).
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    You've been given ample warning.

    Back at the ranch, I rolled up my sleeves and got to work.

    Take 12 strips and weave 'em.
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/mike.curiak/Amal?authkey=Gv1sRgCLvLwaWRu8rLHQ&feat=embedwebsit e#5401599587410663266"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_Z3iU73Uw_T8/SvZWNLKCV2I/AAAAAAAANxA/HAj2iMtRRH4/s800/IMG_3086.JPG" /></a>

    Baste liberally.
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/twPKLP9XXtB8L0iBm487LQ?authkey=Gv1sRgCLvLwaWRu8rLH Q&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_Z3iU73Uw_T8/SvZWPSoPHAI/AAAAAAAANxI/FcX-lhU_DcU/s800/IMG_3093.JPG" /></a>

    How much? 'Bout that much.
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/3-U8muBKHizl4F22-59O9w?authkey=Gv1sRgCLvLwaWRu8rLHQ&feat=embedwebsi te"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_Z3iU73Uw_T8/SvZWSNSOSyI/AAAAAAAANxQ/2AiIbf-hI54/s800/IMG_3096.JPG" /></a>

    Unwad 2 (yep, two) pounds of sausage and cover your weave.

    Meanwhile, sizzle up <span style="font-style:italic;">another</span> pound in the background.
    <object width="900" height="506"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=7496325&amp;server=vimeo.com &amp;show_title=0&amp;show_byline=0&amp;show_portr ait=0&amp;color=ff9933&amp;fullscreen=1" /><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=7496325&amp;server=vimeo.com &amp;show_title=0&amp;show_byline=0&amp;show_portr ait=0&amp;color=ff9933&amp;fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="900" height="506"></embed></object>

    Once that pound is done to taste, chop it up and cover the sausage, then roll the whole slithery beautious mess up.

    Delicately place this priceless gem onto the grill. Ovens can be used in a pinch, and a smoker is purported to be the best way. Run what ya brung.
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/mike.curiak/Amal?authkey=Gv1sRgCLvLwaWRu8rLHQ&feat=embedwebsit e#5401599730582279074"><img src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/_Z3iU73Uw_T8/SvZWVggz06I/AAAAAAAANxc/pkHdSPxGmtQ/s800/IMG_3099.JPG" /></a>

    Common practice with this critter is a BBQ theme. I'm not much of a BBQ fan. Never have been. Friends afflicted with a BBQ problem have suggested that I just haven't had <span style="font-style:italic;">good</span> BBQ yet. Following that rationale, I haven't had <span style="font-style:italic;">good</span> saddle sores yet either, but I've had enough of both to have formed an opinion.

    Anyhoo, I punted the BBQ theme and used maple syrup to baste the outside of the weave.
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/Vv9PDEgDBTeMkg_IvWme4g?authkey=Gv1sRgCLvLwaWRu8rLH Q&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_Z3iU73Uw_T8/SvZWZBU7s-I/AAAAAAAANxk/kHRu-e5Js3o/s800/IMG_3101.JPG" /></a>

    That 4" thick slab o' lean, juicy flesh takes awhile to cook through. Get some other stuff done while you wait.
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/2wjjGodSg4ptUOLkyrn33A?authkey=Gv1sRgCN-LrsHnwsS_qgE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_Z3iU73Uw_T8/SR400ucYznI/AAAAAAAAE2E/pJamDAUK8eU/s800/nma%20006.jpg" /></a>

    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/VTbwgw3htSKdW_htPBER2g?authkey=Gv1sRgCITcqLin-Pno8gE&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_Z3iU73Uw_T8/SFr9W__NMDI/AAAAAAAACtI/BJOwtkvRO4E/s800/rke_12.jpg" /></a>

    <object width="900" height="506"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=7496085&amp;server=vimeo.com &amp;show_title=0&amp;show_byline=0&amp;show_portr ait=0&amp;color=ff9933&amp;fullscreen=1" /><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=7496085&amp;server=vimeo.com &amp;show_title=0&amp;show_byline=0&amp;show_portr ait=0&amp;color=ff9933&amp;fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="900" height="506"></embed></object>

    Check in on occasion, noting the sumptuous sizzling.
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/Z-dSsmnS3-3fbQlqb6eXPQ?authkey=Gv1sRgCLvLwaWRu8rLHQ&feat=emb edwebsite"><img src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/_Z3iU73Uw_T8/SvZWfUYlKnI/AAAAAAAANx0/FmjyytVZqw4/s800/IMG_3104.JPG" /></a>

    After three hours at 225*, I couldn't wait anymore.

    Ahem. I mean after three hours IT WAS DONE!

    When I started the project Herself showed little interest, tossing her hair and sauntering away muttering something like <span style="font-style:italic;">"Men... sheesh...</span>". Curiously, she reappeared at the Ultimate Moment.
    <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/MHsM3m3mqcZhCtsWgCq6GA?authkey=Gv1sRgCLvLwaWRu8rLH Q&feat=embedwebsite"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/_Z3iU73Uw_T8/SvZWhvUKQbI/AAAAAAAANx8/B_RjJyTHYGc/s800/IMG_3109.JPG" /></a>

    Herself, not being afflicted with the chronic quite the way I am, savored a few quick forkfuls, emitted some perfunctory yummy noises, then walked away. Just like that--she walked away. Impressive.

    I stuck with it. The superdeliciousness of it is, of course, completely indescribable. After about 3/4 of a pound I felt *zero* need nor desire to stop eating. If anything I wanted to eat more, faster. In fact, I'm 100% sure that I could, without hesitation, guilt, or even a second thought, easily polish off the whole thing.

    Completely confirming my original theory.



    MC

  2. #2
    Eat More Dirt
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    Beautiful.

  3. #3
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    i can feel my arteries clogging just looking at that thing
    I ride a 26'er with tubes and rim brakes.
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  4. #4
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    mike I always love your posts but this is the best one yet. I am going to do this.
    It's go time

  5. #5
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    Ah... Bacon Explosion! That's a beautimous hunk of tastiness right there...... and oh so wrong. But that wouldn't stop me from eating it.

    Now all you have to do is follow it up with my son's friend Delaney's Prescription Strength Bownies (one is amazing... two will kill you. Seriously) covered with a generous dolop of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge and you've really got something special.

    The just reward for those who are willing to burn thousands of calories mountain biking.
    Last edited by KRob; 11-12-2009 at 11:51 PM.
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  6. #6
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    That's great! Anyone else love bacon as long as it is at least warm? Can't always wait for it to finish cooking! Haha.
    Last edited by Datalogger; 11-09-2009 at 05:56 PM.
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  7. #7
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    My bro-in-law has an idea for something of similar proportions...a hot/sweet sausage wrapped in bacon, dipped in pancake batter, then deep fried. I just might have to give that a try someday.

  8. #8
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    Excellent

  9. #9
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    Very creative! Thanks.

  10. #10
    fan of maple syrup
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikesee
    Anyhoo, I punted the BBQ theme and used maple syrup to baste the outside of the weave.
    You had me at 'anyhoo' (see status: left)

    Good lord that looks delicious.

  11. #11
    Kathleen in AZ
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    Yummmmm Bacon.......

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    thisiswhyyourefat.com would love it

  13. #13
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    This is the most convincing 29'er thread ever.

  14. #14
    turtles make me hot
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    For an awesome bacon quickie, try this... Bacon and peanut butter on your choice of toast. I prefer rye. Totally awesome sandwich, yet doesn't hold a candle to that woven thing. That's totally badass.
    I like turtles

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    Bacon makes everything taste better...
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  16. #16
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    Inspired! Baconliscious
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  17. #17
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    Incredibly gross. You must have a shed hanging over your equipment.

  18. #18
    zrm
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    You can't have too much carbon fiber.

  19. #19
    hispanic mechanic
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raineman
    Incredibly gross. You must have a shed hanging over your equipment.
    Ha! Mike rides a bit...

    Doubt there's too much shed left.

    Los
    Whiskey is my yoga.

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  20. #20
    I just wanna ride my bike
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    Now that's bacon-loading for a long ride! Yum!

    And the Canadian touch is nice

  21. #21
    hispanic mechanic
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    Quote Originally Posted by KRob
    Now all you have to do is follow it up with my son's friend Delaney's Prescription Strength Bownies (one is amazing... two will kill you. Seriously) covered with a generous dolip of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge and you've really got something special.
    Sooo... tell me more about the brownies. I followed the link, didn't go to a recipe.
    Give up the goods, man!

    Los
    Whiskey is my yoga.

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  22. #22
    Old rigid hardtail
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    Mmmmm

  23. #23
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    Really don't know what to say. Perhaps disgustingly beautiful.

  24. #24
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    Wow, Homer Simpson would consider you a god.
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  25. #25
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    Gross!

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by KRob
    Ah... Bacon Explosion! That's a beautimous hunk of tastiness right there...... and oh so wrong. But that wouldn't stop me from eating it.

    Now all you have to do is follow it up with my son's friend Delaney's Prescription Strength Bownies (one is amazing... two will kill you. Seriously) covered with a generous dolip of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge and you've really got something special.

    The just reward for those who are willing to burn thousands of calories mountain biking.

    Brownie recipe needed ASAP. I am sick, and only Presecription Strength brownies can heal me!
    I love mankind - it's people I can't stand. ~Charles M. Schulz

  27. #27
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    Doing this later today... Called ahead to the cardiologist to set up the angioplasty for the morning.
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  28. #28
    R.I.P. DogFriend
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    I have been 'explosion-curious' since I first laid eyes on a pic of one.

    I am wondering if you think it would be possible to slice the finished product into slabs or patties fit to assemble a bacon explosion, lettuce, tomato and avocado sandwich?

    My mouth waters as it awaits an answer. . . . .

  29. #29
    the mountian is within
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    Its BACON!!!
    I crashed near dawn in a 24hrWVa race back a few years because i came near the camp area-and someone was cookin' up BACON! I was rubberneckin' trying to find out where-my lap was almost over.I never got my slice! BACON is always spelled in all caps-it is devine! I must try this new happymeal!
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  31. #31
    I bike long tyme.
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    Very nice. You are quite the gentleman and the scholar.
    People wait for me on the way up. I wait for them on the way down.

  32. #32
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    I'd forgotten about these. Like the chupacabra, this lurks in the back of my mind until a reported sighting. If I hadn''t already laid in a Smithfield ham, this would mos def be my contribution to Thanksgiving.

    [drools]
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  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by NYrr496
    For an awesome bacon quickie, try this... Bacon and peanut butter on your choice of toast. I prefer rye. Totally awesome sandwich, yet doesn't hold a candle to that woven thing. That's totally badass.
    Actually White bread toasted with Peanut Butter and Jelly with Bacon!!!!!!!!!!! Yummy
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  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by sslos
    Sooo... tell me more about the brownies. I followed the link, didn't go to a recipe.
    Give up the goods, man!

    Los

    Quote Originally Posted by Sasquatch
    Brownie recipe needed ASAP. I am sick, and only Presecription Strength brownies can heal me!
    LOL. That was kinda cruel to bring them up but not post a pic or recipe. Sorry. I'd just polished off a dish-full last night when I posted that so they were on my mind.... but was too lazy to copy the recipe over into the post. I'll get it up when I get home for lunch unless I can find it on Delaney's blog.
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  35. #35
    "El Whatever"
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    That is plain torture for a guy who can't eat pork for two months straight.... I don't care the lack of beer, lackanooky and isolation. But I do really miss pork, bacon in particular.
    Check my Site

  36. #36
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    How about a 100% all bacon burger?

    http://www.peppersandsmoke.com/bbq/burgers/

  37. #37
    ridin' dirty
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    Yet another reason to skip turkey for thanksgiving meal!
    Also, firch, your link is awesome on a smaller scale.
    And to keep this on track, how much riding is required to burn off something like this?

  38. #38
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    Killer! Reminds me of my favorite party challenge: Name five things -- not including deserts -- that can NOT be improved by adding bacon.

    Can't be done!
    Whining is not a strategy.

  39. #39
    is buachail foighneach me
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    Do you always do the dishes wearing a back-pack??

    I'm thinking there'll be a few of those hidden away in bags and pogies at the start lines of many an endurance race this winter......

  40. #40
    This place needs an enema
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeffj
    I am wondering if you think it would be possible to slice the finished product into slabs or patties fit to assemble a bacon explosion, lettuce, tomato and avocado sandwich?
    Most definitely. When you're in the 'assembly phase' you just need to pay close attention to the weave and to making sure that as you roll it up, you keep things *tight*. Being a first effort, I didn't do that well on either, but it's still sliceable into ~1/2" slabs.

    Wait a second...

    ...is it five o'clock already?





    Dinnertime!

    MC

  41. #41
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    simply gorgeous.
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  42. #42
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    You, Sir, are a freakin' genius.

    Do you think I could disguise one as a turkey? No matter, I'm making it anyway. Screw those foul-eating pansies.

    Maybe I could hide it in the turkey.

  43. #43
    too cold to ride
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    I risk getting kicked off the internet permanently for saying this, but I can stand a strip, maybe two, of bacon once in awhile. I couldn't even take a bite of that monstrosity.
    Now go home and get your ******* shinebox.

  44. #44
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    Bacon is good for me!

    <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PRGz9xSP_SA&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PRGz9xSP_SA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object>

  45. #45
    "Its All Good"
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    Not being rude, but you Americans wouldnt know goo dbacon if it bit you on the butt......

    Looks pretty tasty, but with any bacon that isnt American.... America has many many great things, but bacon isnt one of them....
    The_Lecht_Rocks: whafe - cheeers - may i offer an official apology for the wagon wheeler "dis-belief"

  46. #46
    saddlemeat
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    Quote Originally Posted by Whafe
    Not being rude, but you Americans wouldnt know goo dbacon if it bit you on the butt......

    Looks pretty tasty, but with any bacon that isnt American.... America has many many great things, but bacon isnt one of them....
    I'm devoting my life to obtaining one more slab of the gypsy bacon some Czech friends turned me on to. You don't even have to fry it, just slice off a hunk. Beautiful smoky black chunk of heaven. Worse than smack.

    So what do you know about bacon?
    I ride with the best people.




  47. #47
    Tigers love pepper...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raineman
    Incredibly gross. You must have a shed hanging over your equipment.
    Ha ha.. yeah he's a big ol' fatty.

    "......has won and set course records at some of the world's most demanding mountain bike races, most of which he started and still directs. He has won the 1,100-mile Iditabike from Alaska's Knik to Nome two times. He has twice won the 142-mile Kokopelli Race from Fruita to Moab, not including a 2005 second-place finish on a single-speed ride. In 2004, he scorched the inaugural and mind-bogglingly lengthy Great Divide Race - his own creation - pedaling 2,500 mostly off-road miles completely self-supported in 16 days, 57 minutes."

  48. #48
    Tigers love pepper...
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    PS - Hey Mike is that Gunny loop about 32 seconds into this vid?


    If so, thanks for making it look like a speed bump. I Just rode that section for the first time Sunday and was all psyched. You did it at about 15mph. I quit!

  49. #49
    DSL
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    How about a little sour cream for your composite?

    I thought that you feverishly wiping the sour cream off your burrito that day was because it was BAD for you. I guess you just don't like sour cream.

    I can't wait to see your take on getting too much powder skiing. Need some help?

  50. #50
    "Its All Good"
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    Quote Originally Posted by bsieb
    I'm devoting my life to obtaining one more slab of the gypsy bacon some Czech friends turned me on to. You don't even have to fry it, just slice off a hunk. Beautiful smoky black chunk of heaven. Worse than smack.

    So what do you know about bacon?
    What do I know about bacon? to be honest, F All. But I have travelled the world and can confirm that the bacon in the US of A is SHITE..... It has no meat to it for want of a better word, just a thin piece of nothing if that makes sense.... I think the folk from the US of A understand that Canadian bacon is different to the US of A bacon... Well in New Zealand it is way way better than Canadian bacon also.....
    The_Lecht_Rocks: whafe - cheeers - may i offer an official apology for the wagon wheeler "dis-belief"

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