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Thread: Mythbustin'.

  1. #1
    This place needs an enema
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    Mythbustin'.

    Many moons ago someone a lot smarter than me said something along the lines of, "There can be too much of a good thing".

    Taking that statement literally and pondering a bit, I came to a few quick caveats.

    Powder skiing?

    Bacon?

    While I'd like to write that I immediately rattled off countless other exceptions to that "rule", the reality is that once I had pork on the brain, salivation and obsession quickly followed. Can a guy actually have too much bacon?

    Unpossible.

    Or so I theorized. Which quickly morphed into a need to test the theory. And it didn't take long to find the means to do so.

    I didn't come up with any other exceptions on the ride to the market, but I *did* get there PDQ.

    (To my dear, dear non-meat eating friends that find themselves sickly fascinated but afraid to read further: Click HERE).
    .
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    You've been given ample warning.

    Back at the ranch, I rolled up my sleeves and got to work.

    Take 12 strips and weave 'em.


    Baste liberally.


    How much? 'Bout that much.


    Unwad 2 (yep, two) pounds of sausage and cover your weave.

    Meanwhile, sizzle up another pound in the background.


    Once that pound is done to taste, chop it up and cover the sausage, then roll the whole slithery beautious mess up.

    Delicately place this priceless gem onto the grill. Ovens can be used in a pinch, and a smoker is purported to be the best way. Run what ya brung.


    Common practice with this critter is a BBQ theme. I'm not much of a BBQ fan. Never have been. Friends afflicted with a BBQ problem have suggested that I just haven't had good BBQ yet. Following that rationale, I haven't had good saddle sores yet either, but I've had enough of both to have formed an opinion.

    Anyhoo, I punted the BBQ theme and used maple syrup to baste the outside of the weave.


    That 4" thick slab o' lean, juicy flesh takes awhile to cook through. Get some other stuff done while you wait.






    Check in on occasion, noting the sumptuous sizzling.


    After three hours at 225*, I couldn't wait anymore.

    Ahem. I mean after three hours IT WAS DONE!

    When I started the project Herself showed little interest, tossing her hair and sauntering away muttering something like "Men... sheesh...". Curiously, she reappeared at the Ultimate Moment.


    Herself, not being afflicted with the chronic quite the way I am, savored a few quick forkfuls, emitted some perfunctory yummy noises, then walked away. Just like that--she walked away. Impressive.

    I stuck with it. The superdeliciousness of it is, of course, completely indescribable. After about 3/4 of a pound I felt *zero* need nor desire to stop eating. If anything I wanted to eat more, faster. In fact, I'm 100% sure that I could, without hesitation, guilt, or even a second thought, easily polish off the whole thing.

    Completely confirming my original theory.



    MC

  2. #2
    Eat More Dirt
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    Beautiful.

  3. #3
    Thread Killer
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    i can feel my arteries clogging just looking at that thing

  4. #4
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    mike I always love your posts but this is the best one yet. I am going to do this.
    It's go time

  5. #5
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    Ah... Bacon Explosion! That's a beautimous hunk of tastiness right there...... and oh so wrong. But that wouldn't stop me from eating it.

    Now all you have to do is follow it up with my son's friend Delaney's Prescription Strength Bownies (one is amazing... two will kill you. Seriously) covered with a generous dolop of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge and you've really got something special.

    The just reward for those who are willing to burn thousands of calories mountain biking.
    Last edited by KRob; 11-12-2009 at 10:51 PM.

  6. #6
    Fortes Fortuna Iuvat
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    That's great! Anyone else love bacon as long as it is at least warm? Can't always wait for it to finish cooking! Haha.
    Last edited by Datalogger; 11-09-2009 at 04:56 PM.
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  7. #7
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    My bro-in-law has an idea for something of similar proportions...a hot/sweet sausage wrapped in bacon, dipped in pancake batter, then deep fried. I just might have to give that a try someday.

  8. #8
    Rizla Powered
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    Excellent

  9. #9
    banned
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    Very creative! Thanks.

  10. #10
    fan of maple syrup
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikesee
    Anyhoo, I punted the BBQ theme and used maple syrup to baste the outside of the weave.
    You had me at 'anyhoo' (see status: left)

    Good lord that looks delicious.

  11. #11
    Kathleen in AZ
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    Yummmmm Bacon.......

  12. #12
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    thisiswhyyourefat.com would love it

  13. #13
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    This is the most convincing 29'er thread ever.

  14. #14
    turtles make me hot
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    For an awesome bacon quickie, try this... Bacon and peanut butter on your choice of toast. I prefer rye. Totally awesome sandwich, yet doesn't hold a candle to that woven thing. That's totally badass.
    I like turtles

  15. #15
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    Bacon makes everything taste better...
    "Roads...where we're going we don't need roads"

  16. #16
    Brit on a trip
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    Inspired! Baconliscious
    Growing old is mandatory - growing up is optional

  17. #17
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    Incredibly gross. You must have a shed hanging over your equipment.

  18. #18
    zrm
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    You can't have too much carbon fiber.

  19. #19
    hispanic mechanic
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raineman
    Incredibly gross. You must have a shed hanging over your equipment.
    Ha! Mike rides a bit...

    Doubt there's too much shed left.

    Los
    "Shut up body and do what I tell you."
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  20. #20
    I just wanna ride my bike
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    Now that's bacon-loading for a long ride! Yum!

    And the Canadian touch is nice

  21. #21
    hispanic mechanic
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    Quote Originally Posted by KRob
    Now all you have to do is follow it up with my son's friend Delaney's Prescription Strength Bownies (one is amazing... two will kill you. Seriously) covered with a generous dolip of vanilla ice cream and hot fudge and you've really got something special.
    Sooo... tell me more about the brownies. I followed the link, didn't go to a recipe.
    Give up the goods, man!

    Los
    "Shut up body and do what I tell you."
    Jens Voight

    http://teamjva.com/jens-voigt-soundboard/

  22. #22
    Old rigid hardtail
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    Mmmmm

  23. #23
    Single Speed Junkie
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    Really don't know what to say. Perhaps disgustingly beautiful.

  24. #24
    Shaman
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    Wow, Homer Simpson would consider you a god.
    Skills coaching loved by passionate riders of all levels and trusted by the pros.
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  25. #25
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    Gross!

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