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  1. #1
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    Lamest thing said to you while biking

    This is a sister thread of coolest thing said to you while biking.

    SO!!
    What is the lamest thing said while biking?
    Honestly... ahh I give up

  2. #2
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    I'll go first since I'm here and all

    I'm riding up on these 'ladies' doing their morning power-walk (who were wearing matching outfits) who 'owned' the 8' of 'river-trail' pavement between the two.
    I thought, no biggie, as we were coming up on a split. I would call out a direction, but I thought I'd just slow behind them to avoid the awkward 'on yer left' - and they move left.
    There was only 5 feet to the split.

    I coasted for a bit (LX hubs click like any normal/everyday bike clicks), but then, had to hit my brakes a bit (which honked - moisture).
    They scrambled a bit as I said "'mornin, ladies".
    Mind you, I wasn't in any hurry, just hangin back awaiting their decision.
    One responded back - "Well, EvCUUUUse us!"

    :a sec later:
    I wanted to ride back up and tell them to .....
    but that's uphill, and I'm on a SS bike 42-14

    **(re: EDIT) I forgot what bike I was on -
    Last edited by highdelll; 09-21-2010 at 11:32 PM.
    Honestly... ahh I give up

  3. #3
    On wuss patrol
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    Nice to see you back. Where ya been?
    Sometimes, you need to go fast enough that the trail is a blur to find clarity. -- Wild Bill

  4. #4
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    7-Day werk...
    Honestly... ahh I give up

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by highdelll
    7-Day werk...
    Yeah, that's a pretty lame thing to hear while biking.

  6. #6
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    Well this is biking associated ... I wasn't actually biking, that day.

    Some local XCO tossers who were posing and presenting and continually looking around to see who was looking at them (I'll refrain from calling them wankers), had their bikes leaning up against a fence at the last MTB World Championships and I wanted access to the fence, to take some shots. I asked them nicely, if they could move their bikes over slightly, so that I could be against the fence, to take a shot of the riders finishing. The bikes were taking up about 6 or 7 metres of prime frontage.

    After they told me where to get off and dictating to me that their bikes were there first, I leant on their bikes and they accidentally fell over. Shock horror! The four of them looked totally affronted, and one of them said, "Those bike are worth several thousand dollars how dare I." I told them that I didn't care one iota. Their bikes weren't watching the finish and nor were they. They then muttered amongst themselves, something about, what a terrible person that I was.

    Lame is the word that I'd use.

    This is the shot that I took. Burry Stander appears to be enjoying what happened but the missed shot was the look of the four faces standing behind me.






    Warren.
    Last edited by Wild Wassa; 09-22-2010 at 11:53 AM.

  7. #7
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    Said to me while trackstanding—which I ALWAYS do, since I hate unclipping/reclipping:

    “Anyone ever knock you off your bike?”

    To which I said, since the guy asking was driving a jacked-up pickup truck:

    “Yeah, some faggot in a jacked-up pickup truck, but then I flashed my 38 at him”.

    End result = guy seemed to be in a hurry to go about his business.
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  8. #8
    Y no grease?ლ(ಠ益ಠლ
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    LOL Both nice posts.

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    when you're fat and greasy
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  9. #9
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    Me: Says something about how I fell while biking
    Other person: "You FELL off your bike???"

    They say it as if I should never fall. One of the people who said this was my mother's boyfriend, so I brought him riding in Lynn Woods, then he understood. The other guy who said it doesn't even own a bike. He also said to me "You spent $2000 on a bike?!?" I've gotten a response similar to this from a couple different people.

  10. #10
    Digital Toast
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    It wasn't yelled at me, but at my youngest son. We were riding down a "blue" run. He was behind me a bit on his 13" HT, picking a good line and making his way down with much more grace then his father. Me I just smashed and bashed down thru the rocks. A rider decked out in body armor and a gravity sled race past us. I stopped further down to let him catch up. When he does I can tell he's upset. The guy that passed us told him to "Get that piece of $h1t hard tail on a green trail". Just because you can't fly down a hill doesn't mean you can't enjoy the challenge. Some people just don't get it.

  11. #11
    DynoDon
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    "These Dogs Don't Bite"
    After I got the unleashed german shepards off my tail by using a water bottle, another person in the party of three tried to grab the lead dog and he was attacked, with snarles and growls as he pulled his hands back the dog bolted, it wasn't the dogs fault, they were just being dogs but I gave the owners hell about leashing their dogs as I rode off, I seen them later and they had the dogs on leash or I would have gone to the rangers office and waited in the parking lot, or if attacked I was ready to bash in some dog heads with my bicycle at that point, this has happened 3 times to me in the last 3 months. Its time for some sort of spray for the dogs and owners.

  12. #12
    Gamers local 2112
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    I crested the top of the hill and there's this old guy I see hiking up there every day I'm there. After months of seeing him nearly every day he barley gives a nod or a wave, oh well. So this time I get to the top and he says to me in a very quiet voice: "What are you going to do when you get old?" What kind of question is that? "Ride harder" I said.

    I do get into it with dog owners, dogs off leash etc. The last one was classic. I Was going down the same trail and I startled some dog owners, dogs not on leach of course so they had to grab them. The guy said "That's how you'll kill a dog!" I was not going fast. I said "With any luck." As I rode past them. There are signs every telling these people to have there dogs on a leash, rarely do they follow the rules.

  13. #13
    I'm just messing with you
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    "Dad forgot my helmet at home"

    Not lame for the little guy who said it, definitely lame for the Dad who was all kitted up while his kid was crashing around with no helmet and a broken front brake.
    Chasing bears through the woods drunk with a dull hatchet is strongly not advised

  14. #14
    Uly
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    Quote Originally Posted by rev106
    "That's how you'll kill a dog!"
    I would have replied "Yeah, letting your dog run around off leash out here can be deadly to him. You'ld think numskulls who do that would learn by now."

  15. #15
    pedalhead
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    "I can't."

  16. #16
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    while stopped at a "Trails Closed" sign (just stopped for a break with no intent), a jogger coming from BEHIND the sign with unleashed dogs says.."you bikers having trouble making out what the sign means?"

    there's a death penalty in Texas so...

  17. #17
    Team Fearless Descender
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    "Those bikes cost how much?!!!!?!!??!"
    .
    "...when your ride is nearly over, it seems to have lasted but an instant..."


    Stuff

  18. #18
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    I've had a couple of dog walkers say something stupid cause there dogs off a leash and I almost run them over. So I dismember them and busty the pieces along the trail. Sucks if Im in a hurry.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tillers_Rule
    I've had a couple of dog walkers say something stupid cause there dogs off a leash and I almost run them over. So I dismember them and busty the pieces along the trail. Sucks if Im in a hurry.
    I always forget to bring large trash bags...it hides the odor better i feel. dismember etiquette rules and how-tos

  20. #20
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    Not sure if it was coolest or the lamest. But i was riding an extremely technical trail when an old man passed and said; "seems like a great way to destroy a nice bike."

    I actually find that amusing. But i've run into other people that will argue that the trial i am on is not meant for biking for no other reason than it doesn't appear bikeable to them.

  21. #21
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    <- In my avatar from this weekend: while huffing and puffing, gasping for air, feeling completely exhausted, dehydrated, hurt, 1lb. of dirt in my lungs, I was told...

    "FOUR MORE LAPS GUYS!! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!"




  22. #22
    the train keeps rollin
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    When I lived in the Bay Area, I used to always get this one.

    "No Bikes Allowed On This Trail"

    My response, "well there is today"
    beaver hunt

  23. #23
    Team Inflexible
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    Im gonna SHOOT you!

    Said to me last week after my buddy got a flat and we cut through some unmarked priviate property.

  24. #24
    Kilted Cyclist
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    "You actually enjoy climbing? What's wrong with you?" - Said to me by a wanna-be free rider.

  25. #25
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    Lamest thing said to you while biking
    Must use heavy Scottish accent and read aloud...

    "Heck of a place to leave your bikes, laddies"

    -My buddy and are are 40 years old, so that was weird.

  26. #26
    I'm gonna have to kill ya
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    "Do you need to borrow some gears"

    "Where's your other leg?"

    I just smile as I drop them on the climb

  27. #27
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    Riding up the "Hill of Life" (about a mile of loose rocky ledgy climb in Austin Texas) I keep passing and being passed by a guy walking with cane. At one point he says "It looks pretty tough to get up this hill on a bike". I said "I was thinking it was tough getting up this hill with a cane". Talked to him later when we both made the top of the climb. Turns out it was Johnny Lam Jones, former football player for the University of Texas and the NY Jets. Really cool guy.

  28. #28
    Terrain Sculptor
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    Quote Originally Posted by 53119
    I always forget to bring large trash bags...it hides the odor better i feel. dismember etiquette rules and how-tos

    Lime.

  29. #29
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    "all that money to build such a light bike and you're carrying 10 pounds of locks"
    I was riding a ss'd soul cycles hooligan with beat up deemaxes and kujos, but only had one kryptonite u-lock on my belt.
    If steel is real then aluminium is supercallafragiliniun!

  30. #30
    Fat-tired Roadie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dion
    <- In my avatar from this weekend: while huffing and puffing, gasping for air, feeling completely exhausted, dehydrated, hurt, 1lb. of dirt in my lungs, I was told...

    "FOUR MORE LAPS GUYS!! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!"



    LOL.

    The race I did a week and a half ago doesn't announce how many laps are left until pretty late - it's the old time + some laps format. They're calling "one to go" when I cross the line. Several hundred meters later, they correct themselves, "Sorry riders. That wasn't the last lap. It's one and a half to go." I had a bad cough and was out there just to avoid missing the first race of the series, so it was extra-sucky.
    "Don't buy upgrades; ride up grades." -Eddy Merckx

  31. #31
    Ride Responsibly
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    Equestrian (one of a group of four) "I thought bikes were not allowed on this trail."
    Me "No mam, that would be the trail to the left back yonder, THIS trail is posted NO HORSES. Have a good ride"

  32. #32
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    I was going southbound on a paved trail saying hello to a couple of ladies on Specialized road bikes going northbound... Mind you that I said "hello". The response? "Ew! TREK!!!"

  33. #33
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    (riding a rocky tech trail in otis after it had rained) jogger comes up behind me when i stopped to drink "tough biking out here, you should really just walk".

  34. #34
    Terrain Sculptor
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    I hear this all the time from other riders on volunteer maintained trails.

    "Somebody should..... (insert trail maintenance or building tip here)"

  35. #35
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    From a co-worker:

    "You actually wear a helmet? It's not like you're in the X-Games."

    I just invited him to go ride some trails with me after work.

  36. #36
    Official Cooler Inspector
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    Old comments repeated by new people in 2010:

    "I can't believe you're using those square tapered cranks! You'd ride so much better with ____." Whatever, I'm still cranking like it's 1999.



    "On your left!" They then passed on the right and we nearly ended up in a compromising position.



    "I now understand why you said I shouldn't wear underwear with my bike shorts." Ouch!

    Now you're cast of steel and cast aside. Broken dreams maybe, but you haven't died

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leopold Porkstacker
    Said to me while trackstanding—which I ALWAYS do, since I hate unclipping/reclipping:

    “Anyone ever knock you off your bike?”

    To which I said, since the guy asking was driving a jacked-up pickup truck:

    “Yeah, some ****** in a jacked-up pickup truck, but then I flashed my 38 at him”.

    End result = guy seemed to be in a hurry to go about his business.

  38. #38
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    get a car ***

  39. #39
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    Lamest thing during a ride

    Went OTB and bloodied myself up pretty well. Finished the 7 mile ride and stopped at a nearby shack to get some water to clean out the wound.

    As I'm pouring water on my elbow and picking stones out, woman says:

    "Awwwwwwww did you fall off your bike? Be careful now, falling can hurt you"

    Ironically enough this same endo resulted in a wrist surgery. I guess I should heed lame advice instead of mocking it. Haha

  40. #40
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    Summer road ride during TDF

    Go Lance!


  41. #41
    ELMO IS MY LORD!!!
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    "Aren't you a little old to be riding on the sidewalk."

  42. #42
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    Wow... I don't pay attention to what people say.. I'm to busy listening to the voices in my head...

  43. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Straz85
    Me: Says something about how I fell while biking
    Other person: "You FELL off your bike???"

    They say it as if I should never fall. One of the people who said this was my mother's boyfriend, so I brought him riding in Lynn Woods, then he understood. The other guy who said it doesn't even own a bike. He also said to me "You spent $2000 on a bike?!?" I've gotten a response similar to this from a couple different people.
    Those kind of people drive me absolutely nuts!

  44. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by roxnroots
    Those kind of people drive me absolutely nuts!

    Totally, why would you spend that kind of money on a bike?!!!

    One day getting in my car after loading up after riding, guy parks next to me and says...

    guy: "Hows it goin?"
    me: "Great Thanks, have a good ride!"
    guy: "Thanks! You too.....*voice trails off* *mumbles to self*"
    '11 Redline MonoCog Flight 29er
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  45. #45
    Ska
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    From a guy looking my gear over; “Jesus.....you really need a new bike.”

    Those words were said to me by a guy (you know the type) who absolutely needs to buy the best and the absolute latest of everything – even if the only change from one model year to another of any given frame, component or fork etc. is the color or a decal. It’s ridiculous.

    I was still riding my DeKerf at the time which was pushing 6 years of age but it was still functioning perfectly, able to carry me (without any issue) over everything I was riding, still fast enough in races and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, fun. He was looking at it because I had just switched up the drive train (because the previous had worn out) and had dumped the XTR stuff for the latest (at the time) X.O. rear der and shifters.

    After he walked away I was pretty mad about that. I don’t care if someone doesn’t like my bike, seriously, but who says that kind of thing? To anyone! Just get out there, ride, enjoy the freedom, trails and friends! Have fun! Who cares what the other guy’s rockin’?

    Anyway, I looked over at a friend who also heard it and said “The day all that guy’s tech s__t makes him faster than me is the day I’ll think of switching that bike out.” To which his response was “Hey, he’s the best looking last place finisher out there! Be nice.” We laughed.

    That was a true statement and is also part of the reason it irked me and I said what I said. He judges people and often how they must ride (if he doesn’t know them) based on what they’re riding yet he is slow as faulk. Basically, if his way of thinking were true, he’d be up there with the world champs.

    Don’t get me wrong; I don’t claim to be anywhere near the fastest guy out there and I don’t mind riding with people who are slower. I especially don’t mind people joining us out there based on what their gear is like. I just know how he thinks and my knee-jerk reaction was to say what I said (I’m not proud of that) I just shouldn’t have let it bother me.

    If you’re in our group and you’re enjoying yourself than feel free to come out anytime you want. You’re always welcome.

    It’s too bad because, other than that one flaw, he’s genuinely a really nice guy. I’ve ridden with him many times (used to almost every Sunday – and I wasn’t the only one he said shady stuff to) but it’s been a while because he’s moved.

    Someone I know rode with him again recently and it turns out not much has changed – too bad.
    Here's my crummy, slow-going blog The Slow Spoke if you're interested.

  46. #46
    Ska
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    Quote Originally Posted by M-U-M
    Old comments repeated by new people in 2010:

    "I can't believe you're using those square tapered cranks! You'd ride so much better with ____." Whatever, I'm still cranking like it's 1999.

    :
    Exactly!! That’s basically what I was saying – only better and less drawn out.
    Here's my crummy, slow-going blog The Slow Spoke if you're interested.

  47. #47
    Natural Born Killer
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    All this reminds me why I don't bother to talk about my outdoor recreational activities with "civilians".

  48. #48
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    I have a '07 Hardrock with mostly my own build, at this point. Better crank, better derailleurs, better brakes, much better fork, etc. So I bumped into a guy the other day on his way down a very difficult fire road climb at one of my favorite riding places, on a Hardrock from the same year, one model down. I figured he had to be lost, because the only reason to do that climb (to me) is to access a singletrack descent that's really cool.

    Anyway, a few minutes later, after I've stalled, of course, I hear him grunting and crunching and sweating his way back up. Turns out he was doing repeats. As training for mountaineering. And aside from the tires, his bike looks to be completely stock. I found out all of this when I caught up with him at the top of the climb, where he was taking a breather.

    I don't think any of what he said was meant negatively, but... I race cross-country, and this dude just walked off on me with a heavy bike and pogo suspension fork, and riding bikes isn't even his main thing! This season has, unfortunately, been one in which I have had more excuses than good finishes.
    "Don't buy upgrades; ride up grades." -Eddy Merckx

  49. #49
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    I had this lovely exchange with a group of people on horseback over labor day weekend while riding some trails that are clearly marked as multi-use by the state parks department. I always follow the posted trail etiquette to a T plus some just to be nice, and this time was no exception. So anyway, after dismounting and dragging the bike about 10' off into the weeds the ass-hattery started....

    Me - "Hey guys, how's it going?"

    Older man in the lead - "Son, you're gonna have to get back further than that."

    Me - "Sure thing" *I move back another 5 feet and can't go any further*

    *at this point the old guy gets his horse past me and the guy behind him's horse starts flipping out all of a sudden*

    Redneck in 2nd place - *mutters* "You're not even suppose ta be riding them damn things on this trail"

    Me - "Excuse me sir?"

    Redneck - *his horse is still acting squirrly* "We'll see who ends up on the ground first (thinly veiled threat?)....You shouldn't even f*cking be here! You need to go talk to a park ranger NOW."

    Me - "I'm afraid you're wrong, if you don't believe me you can read one of the pamphlets they have at the trail head"

    Redneck - "I dun give uh damn what that says, you need ta go find a park ranger!"

    Me - "Whatever..."

    *the third guy just rides by shaking his head*

    Woman in the rear - *silently mouths to me* "I'm sorry"



    I think that's about the most hostile encounter I've had, mostly all I get are confused or dirty looks. The equestrian crown seems to think they own the trails and since I'm the only bike rider I've ever seen on them I doubt that will change anytime soon.

  50. #50
    ~Disc~Golf~
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    ^^^^lame
    Honestly... ahh I give up

  51. #51
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    ^^^^^ Jacking up the post count. I'm in.

  52. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trail Ninja
    ^^^^^ Jacking up the post count. I'm in.
    sweet - there's another!...

    oh, and "If your bike costs that much, why didn't you just buy a car" (after explaining how built it myself) - try building a car yourself - see what that costs ya...
    Honestly... ahh I give up

  53. #53
    Double-metric mtb man
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    Ok...I'm game.

    Coming back from a night ride along a trendy avenue here where I live...at night, it's got a lot of bars and in the summer, that means all the cars are cruisin'. Traffic was moving slooooow, so rather than fight with the cabs, pedestrians sloshed and trying to hail a cab, etc., I just took the lane: traffic was slow enough I was able to keep up just fine/didn't disrupt traffic at all.

    Car pulls up along side and the lady in the passenger seat yells out: "What? You a bike or are you traffic?"

    Me: "The law says my bike is traffic."

    Her: "Get on the sidewalk, a$$hole...leave the roads for cars."

    I don't like ignorant people like that.
    As if four times wasn't enough-> Psycho Mike's 2013 Ride to Conquer Cancer Page

    Moran? Let your opinion be free -> F88me

  54. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by mesome
    I had this lovely exchange with a group of people on horseback over labor day weekend while riding some trails that are clearly marked as multi-use by the state parks department.

    Redneck - *his horse is still acting squirrly* "We'll see who ends up on the ground first (thinly veiled threat?)....

    I've gotten this more than once from the horse people. I always stop, always pull to the side and dismount, and am always polite. Regardless, I'm often greeted with the: "somebody is gonna get hurt and it 'aint gonna be us" gem.

    I always want to reply, "so you admit you're bringing a big, dangerous animal you can't control onto a public, multi-use trail populated by kids, hikers, and bikers knowing full well it's gonna hurt somebody 'cause you haven't put the time into training and desensitizing it for the conditions you're using it in?"

    But I never do.

  55. #55
    All fat, all the time.
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    "Hey look, it's Lance Armstrong".....
    "Fags!"

    Funny, both up northern Indiana.....

  56. #56
    Ska
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shark
    "Hey look, it's Lance Armstrong".....
    "Fags!"
    I get that all the time too. I love it when I'm in a group on a road ride and we catch them at a red light or something because they don't realise just how fast we're actually going. They button up pretty quickly when you roll up beside them don't they? They won't even make eye contact at that point.

    LOL

    Whatever.....
    Here's my crummy, slow-going blog The Slow Spoke if you're interested.

  57. #57
    is buachail foighneach me
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    In Philly, friend riding Standard BMX bike, me riding Klein stock trials bike.

    Little ghetto thuglet: "Gimme that bike!" and takes off after my friend.

    As the kid and his buddies are riding past me I say: "Don't you want my bike?"

    Kid responds: "NO! It's too small."

    The kid could not have been more than 5' tall. My trials bike was bigger than my friends bmx bike, and easily worth twice as much.

  58. #58
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    Did they ride off with your buddy's bike? If they weren't armed I would have put a stop to that.

  59. #59
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    i was doing a road metric century with my dad, brother, and a few of our family friends on a FS Gary Fisher. Around mile 60 this guy on skinnys pulls up next to me and says. "your crazy doing this ride on a bike like that" now maybe its because its like 15 years old or the fact that im riding it on the road but that didnt stop me from pulling away steadily over the next 3 miles.
    count your blessings

  60. #60
    is buachail foighneach me
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2wheelsnotfour
    Did they ride off with your buddy's bike? If they weren't armed I would have put a stop to that.

    No. I wasn't to worried about these two kids. The gangs of bike thieves in Philly were really only very effective in groups of 4 to 30.

  61. #61
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    I had a rider pace me on a slow technical mostly uphill trail loop throughout the day, back at the parking lot he felt the need to give me a dissertation on how cycling short and shirt would give me a aerodynamic advantage on the uphill climbs. Considering I was over 300 lbs, and we both were huff and puffing up the climb, and with multiple passing areas he never passed me I found it amusing.

    After I bought my new Cannondale hardtail on the first ride some random rider in the park lot felt the need to critique my bikes components, told me all the stuff I needed to change, I should cut the bars here, cut the brake levers, carbon this, titanium bolts that, blah blah. At the end he had the balls to say "It should save you a pound or two" I smiled and said "Ive taken heavier sh1ts, and they are free." He caught my drift.
    Clydesdale: 315lbs (July 2010) now down 35 lbs on my journey from obese to triathlete...

    http://iambigtuna.blogspot.com/

  62. #62
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    "That guy's crazy, Hey! you're crazy for riding that there thing(Lefty)"
    "You're going the wrong way"
    "You ruined my mojo"
    "Hey! Are you alright!"

    Coolest thing "Safe Journeys"

  63. #63
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    So we all pull into the lot for a typical ride...and one of my buds opens his tailgate and says...

    "SH*T!! I forgot my bike!!"

    What can be more lame than that?
    01 GT iDrive...frame failure
    03 Trek Fuel 98...frame failure
    10 Santa Cruz Heckler...TBD

  64. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ska!
    They button up pretty quickly when you roll up beside them don't they? They won't even make eye contact at that point.
    Especially when they look over and see that the "faq" they yelled at is a woman....

  65. #65
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    At REI in Plano, TX, browsing the bikes they had while my wife was looking for new hiking boots. Worker comes up and starts making chit-chat. Turns out he is a roadie, asks me what kinda bike I ride. I told him I have a couple but I usually I ride my rigid SS 29er, given that many of the local trails are pretty flat.

    He replies:
    "When I want to ride single speed, I just don't shift"

    The look on his face was priceless when I laughed at him and walked away.

  66. #66
    Des(s)ert Rat
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    "That hill would be easier if you shifted. Then you wouldn't have to stand up."

    I just kept pedaling uphill, standing up in the pedals, on my singlespeed.

  67. #67
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    Not said to me, but something I said to another rider:

    I'm riding Bruno's Run, a local trail with some short but steep climbs. I'm coming down the other side of a climb when I meet a pleasant-looking young lady walking her bike back towards the parking area. I like to chat people up a bit when I meet them on the trails. Searching my mind for a good conversation starter, I to my horror blurt out:

    "You're not wimping out, are you?"



    Worst. Conversation Starter. Ever.

    She briefly states that she plans to ride the trail in the other direction after returning to the parking lot, and that was pretty much the end of that conversation.

    I continue on my ride feeling like a blithering idiot.

    Turns out she did ride in the other direction, and we met again after about an hour. I apologized for my most lame attempt at starting a conversation and we both ended up having a good laugh over it.

    So it was all good in the end.

  68. #68
    CEO Product Failure
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    Listen!

    "SNAP!" there goes a the rear triangle
    "BAMMMM" there goes the front triangle
    "RRrrrrrip!!!" there goes the front triangle
    Me: "Guys! Wait up, my frame's broke!"
    16 frames since 1998...17 if you count the SS frame.

    Son: "Dad, I forgot my helmet"
    Dad: "You just ruined Christmas!!" (this was in June). Dad then lends his helmet. Still funny to this day.

  69. #69
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    Said to me by three people walking 5 dogs (most illegally off-leash) on a trail specifically dedicated by the town to, and signed for, bikes as its primary use. This just after I nearly hit one of the unleashed dogs that darted in front of my tire:

    "Why don't you ride out there (on the busy four-lane road with no shoulders)?"

    F'n morons.

  70. #70
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    Oh goody!

    I rode from Mt Bachelor down to the main (congested) trails at Phil's, stopping to rest after 15 miles of singletrack and smiling the whole way.

    Me (unassuming 5' woman, 120#)
    Them (Two dudes getting ready to hit the berms and bumps in Bend).

    Them: How's it goin'?
    Me: Great!
    Them: Where'd you come from?
    Me: Oh, I rode from Dutchman to here. Headed home.
    Them: You rode Flagline alone? That's kind of dangerous. Did you see anyone?
    Me: No way! You're the first people I've seen since the TH. It was a glorious ride down. Have a great ride!


    And I dropped 'em. They chased my tail the rest of the way to the TH.

    Suckers.

  71. #71
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    Since you did not specify, I will post one for MTB, and one for Road.

    MTB:
    Just last week in Moab, I was at 11,200 feet, and had been worried about the elevation all week, as I had just flown in from Raleigh NC (about 300 feet) and did not have time to adjust. Was really excited about the ride, and at the top I had to drop a deuce before we started. I slipped off in the woods and dropped off last night's mexican dinner in the woods (thinking to myself, "now I know why it's called the Whole Enchilada", but I digress...)

    I came back to my buddy completely out of breath and said, "Damn, this elevation is for real, I can't even drop a deuce without going anaerobic."

    Road:
    While riding the MS150, 87 miles into my second century in as many days. I was at the rest stop, dragging my ass pretty bad. There were a couple hundred people around and I overheard a guy talking to his buddy, he was very excited.

    Total stranger to his buddy: "John, do you see those bananas. You should really take one with you to replenish the Potassium. Hell, I just ate one, and I put another one in my pocket"

    Me, before my brain could stop me: "Dang, I thought you were just glad to see me."

    I felt pretty bad for the guy, everyone laughed. I totally would have said it with pride to a friend, but hated to out a total stranger...
    I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. -- Confucius

  72. #72
    turtles make me hot
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zeroack
    It wasn't yelled at me, but at my youngest son. We were riding down a "blue" run. He was behind me a bit on his 13" HT, picking a good line and making his way down with much more grace then his father. Me I just smashed and bashed down thru the rocks. A rider decked out in body armor and a gravity sled race past us. I stopped further down to let him catch up. When he does I can tell he's upset. The guy that passed us told him to "Get that piece of $h1t hard tail on a green trail". Just because you can't fly down a hill doesn't mean you can't enjoy the challenge. Some people just don't get it.
    If some dick spoke to my son like that, there would be a bad surprise waiting for him as he approached me.
    I like turtles

  73. #73
    turtles make me hot
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    Quote Originally Posted by sturge
    So we all pull into the lot for a typical ride...and one of my buds opens his tailgate and says...

    "SH*T!! I forgot my bike!!"

    What can be more lame than that?
    About twenty years ago, I forgot my helmet... Your friend takes the cake. I LOL'd at that.
    I like turtles

  74. #74
    Terrain Sculptor
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    "It's starting to rain. Let's go home."

    1/2 hour into the ride, after 100 miles driving and 2 ferry rides. The trails in question are fine in rain.

  75. #75
    Rider, Builder, Dreamer
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    Quote Originally Posted by gundom66
    I was going southbound on a paved trail saying hello to a couple of ladies on Specialized road bikes going northbound... Mind you that I said "hello". The response? "Ew! TREK!!!"
    This just made my day. I love my 2 big Treks.
    Go ride your bike.

  76. #76
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    Couple of friends and myself were taking a break at the top of a pretty decent climb when 2 old couples came hiking up the backside of the trail. One old guy says to us "We were just wondering what kind of idiots would ride bikes up here." The guys wife says "Oh he's just playing with you boys." I had my camera out so she asks if we want our pic taken. Then after she takes our pic she says "You boys want some apples?" Then proceeds to pull a giant bag of apples out of her purse. It was like having your grumpy grandfather and awesome grandmother at the top of the climb.

  77. #77
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    I was riding Slickrock trail in Moab by myself on my little 5-inch EX-9. I see two guys in full pads and the works sitting next to their big-travel bikes at the top of a steep climb right in the middle of the trail. We're out by the overlook and it's mostly downhill back to the parking lot from there.

    It's Moab and wide-open, so I ride around 'em and say hello as I go past. Neither acknowledges my greeting. As I'm riding away with my back to them I hear one guy say to the other:

    "We'll be passing that putz on the way down."

    I stopped a bit after that to snap some photos and adjust my turkey warble caliper (damn Juicy 7s!) and they passed by heading back in. I quickly finished up and reeled 'em in, passed them, then beat them back to the parking lot by more than a mile. I had already loaded my bike, stowed my gear, and was talking to a family riding with their kids before they finally pulled up all out of breath.

  78. #78
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    Them: "If I spend that much on a bike, it better have an engine."
    Me: "My bike with an engine cost a lot more than this one."

  79. #79
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    While riding in Moab

    Riding comfortably down the mild singletrack part of porcupine rim on a Nomad with very heavy wheels and a burned out lyric fork, some tool passes me on a "trail bike with 140 mm".

    "I wanted to see your face while I passed you with your all-mountain bike on my 140 mm trail bike".


    Still enjoying myself riding down the hill passed him while he was changing a flat. Ask him with a sh** eating grin whether he needs any help. his response "No I'll just pass you on the way down".

    Lame.
    "Chancho. When you are a man sometimes you wear stretchy pants... Its for fun..."

  80. #80
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    Went on a group ride and only knew one person in the group. I get on my bike and the loud mouth in the group says "Oh look at jonny single speed over here" (in a sarcastic tone)

    The ride starts with a decent climb so rather than firing off some sarcastic remark I say,
    "You guys ready to go?" I was in front and pushed as hard as i could and dropped everyone.

    The loudmouth made it to the top huffing and puffing and walks over and starts looking at my rear hub and asks, "How many gears are inside that rear hub?"
    I laughed and said zero

  81. #81
    (slight return)
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    I was at China Camp with my 4 year old girl over the summer. We ride a pretty flat section of singletrack, which dumps on to a fire road with a slight incline. Her bike is a single speed Jamis that weighs about 30 pounds to her 45 pounds, and she was weaving a bit trying to keep pedaling. Some tool on a Black Rocky Mountain Slayer rides by and tells herin an irritated tone to make up her mind, she's taking up the whole road. We had a good laugh about it later, but really... Video from the day:

    <object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3gDYD6G6JI0?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3gDYD6G6JI0?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>

  82. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by sturge
    So we all pull into the lot for a typical ride...and one of my buds opens his tailgate and says...

    "SH*T!! I forgot my bike!!"

    What can be more lame than that?

    I did something like that. I went to my local park, a 15 minute drive. I set my keys in my truck, got my bike out, then I freaked out as I realized I forgot the chain. So I closed my truck. Then I realized I had locked my keys in my car. Then I realized I had also locked my phone in my car. Ended up using someones phone and getting a ride from a friend to pick up my other set of keys back home. Never did ride that day.

  83. #83
    Terrain Sculptor
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    813 to 83. 3 weeks left highdelll.

    On private property where I am the only person with permission to build or maintain trails. On a trail system (about 20 miles worth) I've been working on for over 10 years. 2 guys on horses tearing out a rideover I built.

    "These are our trails. We found them. Go find your own."

    The landowner sent the police to visit these people at home.

  84. #84
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    Was climbing a very steep hill the other day, and some guy stopped me in my tracks and asked me if I saw any dead bodies in the woods. At first I was totally freaked out but then he said that they were on some kind of search and rescue drill. I honestly thought these guys were looking for a dead guy. Could you even imagine coming around a corner and running over a dead guy laying across the trail ? Even if he was just an actor?
    Same day, climbing another monster rocky root covered hill, sweat rolling off, struggling to get to the top, and a boy scout and his dad waited for me until I made it and the dad asked me "are you exercising?"

  85. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Ray
    Was climbing a very steep hill the other day, and some guy stopped me in my tracks and asked me if I saw any dead bodies in the woods. At first I was totally freaked out but then he said that they were on some kind of search and rescue drill. I honestly thought these guys were looking for a dead guy. Could you even imagine coming around a corner and running over a dead guy laying across the trail ? Even if he was just an actor?
    Same day, climbing another monster rocky root covered hill, sweat rolling off, struggling to get to the top, and a boy scout and his dad waited for me until I made it and the dad asked me "are you exercising?"
    I suppose technically "asking around" is a legitimate search technique, it still seems like cheating.

  86. #86
    I'm just messing with you
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Ray
    some guy stopped me in my tracks and asked me if I saw any dead bodies in the woods.
    "None other than the one I just dumped, but I covered it in lime so it'll be gone in a few days."
    Chasing bears through the woods drunk with a dull hatchet is strongly not advised

  87. #87
    smalljeans
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    just this morning in the lot at the local trail-
    fat chick
    " you look a little old to be out here riding a bike through the woods"

    reply-
    me
    "you look a little fat to be hammering down that McDonalds"

    thought my buddy and wife were going to pee themselves


    I also always get the "you can't ride that here" comments on my SS
    ...don't worry it's coming...

  88. #88
    Crunchatize me Capn'
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psycho Mike
    Coming back from a night ride along a trendy avenue here where I live...at night, it's got a lot of bars and in the summer, that means all the cars are cruisin'.
    I go through the same type of an area and on Fri or Sat nights I always hear the "Hey, Lance!" comments.

    One time I was practically stopped and slowly weaving throught the crowd (it's actually safer to be on the sidewalk for these four blocks as traffic is three lanes, one way, with parking on both sides with cars constantly trying to dart out and the road is curved with limited visibility) and one guy quipped up with the comment. About two feet later another guy said the same thing to which I replied: "Please, no autographs." He was pretty drunk and took that to mean that I WAS Lance. His friends and the group of girls behind him had a pretty good laugh!
    -------------

    I sometimes ride through a pretty run down area of town. I kept getting comments of: "Hey, that's my bike!" or "Gimme my bike". Finally, one day I just circled back around to where the group of teenagers were standing and I just said: "Can't you come up with anything different? Everytime I ride by it's the same ol' thing. Really, try to be more creative next time." Then I just rode off with them having an incredulous look upon their face.

  89. #89
    ~Disc~Golf~
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trail Ninja
    813 to 83. 3 weeks left highdelll.
    Moderators - can you make a banner ad for this thread?
    or atleast make it a sticky?

    p.s. and, bin & lock Trail Ninja's thread
    Honestly... ahh I give up

  90. #90
    Snowjnky McDreamy
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    lamest:
    "Looks like you got that Santa Cruz squeak."
    [in my head]No sh*t Sherlock I have been listening to it the whole ride

    Lamest thing/ funniest thing said to someone else:
    My buddy Nicholls is walking part of the climb in the Downieville Classic XC and by buddy Lennie rides past him and says " I got a dog you can walk!!" AHHHHHHHH
    Brother Seamus?
    Like an Irish monk?
    Comic relief in a discussion does no harm..
    CS Lewis
    Quadzilla

  91. #91
    Everyone Bleeds!
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    New question here.

    Quote Originally Posted by eman2005
    I did something like that. I went to my local park, a 15 minute drive. I set my keys in my truck, got my bike out, then I freaked out as I realized I forgot the chain. So I closed my truck. Then I realized I had locked my keys in my car. Then I realized I had also locked my phone in my car. Ended up using someones phone and getting a ride from a friend to pick up my other set of keys back home. Never did ride that day.

    Just one question... How is it even possible to forget the chain?
    Everyday of my life, I'm forced to add another name to the list of people that piss me off!

  92. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by 100% dundee
    just this morning in the lot at the local trail-
    fat chick
    " you look a little old to be out here riding a bike through the woods"

    reply-
    me
    "you look a little fat to be hammering down that McDonalds"

    thought my buddy and wife were going to pee themselves


    I also always get the "you can't ride that here" comments on my SS
    "Hammering . . . McDonald's" That's pure gold - let's use that in the future to reference/label any ignorant fat slob giving us a hard time.

  93. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by ArmedMonk
    Just one question... How is it even possible to forget the chain?

    I took it off to clean it since it was very muddy, and since it was an early in the morning, I forgot all about it.

  94. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by slide mon
    I was at China Camp with my 4 year old girl over the summer. We ride a pretty flat section of singletrack, which dumps on to a fire road with a slight incline. Her bike is a single speed Jamis that weighs about 30 pounds to her 45 pounds, and she was weaving a bit trying to keep pedaling. Some tool on a Black Rocky Mountain Slayer rides by and tells herin an irritated tone to make up her mind, she's taking up the whole road. We had a good laugh about it later, but really... Video from the day:

    <object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3gDYD6G6JI0?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3gDYD6G6JI0?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>
    Just wanted to say that is the coolest thing ever.

  95. #95
    turtles make me hot
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Ray
    Was climbing a very steep hill the other day, and some guy stopped me in my tracks and asked me if I saw any dead bodies in the woods. At first I was totally freaked out but then he said that they were on some kind of search and rescue drill. I honestly thought these guys were looking for a dead guy. Could you even imagine coming around a corner and running over a dead guy laying across the trail ? Even if he was just an actor?
    Same day, climbing another monster rocky root covered hill, sweat rolling off, struggling to get to the top, and a boy scout and his dad waited for me until I made it and the dad asked me "are you exercising?"
    Not so much a lamest thing said to me, but lame just the same. One day, I pull up to my favorite trail and there's fire trucks and police cars at the trail entrance. No people anywhere. I start my ride and about 5 minutes in, I come across an EMT with a trail map on foot. I stop and ask if I can help him. He says a guy broke his leg on Dark Side of the Moon. We're looking for him. I said you're not even close. Go back to the entrance, walk toward the East side of the woods and pick up the trail over there, you'll walk directly to him. I even showed him on his map. He said thanks and I rode off.
    A little while later, I come across 4 firemen in full gear, boots, coats, helmets (in the woods) carrying an empty stretcher looking for the same guy. They're walking all the black diamond singletrack from the beginning. At this rate, they'll get to him in about three hours. I explain to them to go this way back to the blue loop and follow that to the black diamond trail called Hunters Path. Dark Side is off of that. There was no way to salvage any time. As I exit the Black Diamond trail, I run into the first EMT again. He"s further away from the guy than before because he didn't listen to me.
    This is exactly why I'm very careful when I ride.
    I like turtles

  96. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by 100% dundee
    just this morning in the lot at the local trail-
    fat chick
    " you look a little old to be out here riding a bike through the woods"

    reply-
    me
    "you look a little fat to be hammering down that McDonalds"

    thought my buddy and wife were going to pee themselves


    I also always get the "you can't ride that here" comments on my SS
    So in this situation you are the lame person?

  97. #97
    mtbr member
    Reputation: JonathanGennick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NYrr496
    ...He says a guy broke his leg on Dark Side of the Moon. We're looking for him. I said you're not even close. Go back to the entrance, walk toward the East side of the woods and pick up the trail over there, you'll walk directly to him. I even showed him on his map. He said thanks and I rode off.
    The best thing you can do is to guide the EMTs personally. I work part time for an ambulance service covering some fairly remote ground. I can't begin to tell you how helpful it is to have someone guide us in to a remote location. Heck, even in crowded and/or larger buildings it is a huge help to have a guide. Otherwise, you have responders in unfamiliar territory who are trying to follow directions on the order of "turn left at the stump".

  98. #98
    ~Disc~Golf~
    Reputation: highdelll's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JonathanGennick
    The best thing you can do is to guide the EMTs personally. I work part time for an ambulance service covering some fairly remote ground. I can't begin to tell you how helpful it is to have someone guide us in to a remote location. Heck, even in crowded and/or larger buildings it is a huge help to have a guide. Otherwise, you have responders in unfamiliar territory who are trying to follow directions on the order of "turn left at the stump".
    absolutely...
    Honestly... ahh I give up

  99. #99
    the test dummy
    Reputation: insanitylevel9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zeroack
    It wasn't yelled at me, but at my youngest son. We were riding down a "blue" run. He was behind me a bit on his 13" HT, picking a good line and making his way down with much more grace then his father. Me I just smashed and bashed down thru the rocks. A rider decked out in body armor and a gravity sled race past us. I stopped further down to let him catch up. When he does I can tell he's upset. The guy that passed us told him to "Get that piece of $h1t hard tail on a green trail". Just because you can't fly down a hill doesn't mean you can't enjoy the challenge. Some people just don't get it.
    thats not right i hate people like that, i ride a hardtail for dh most people respect me for it not give me ****
    Quote Originally Posted by craftworks750
    Riding a mtb is like a reset button, 10 mins in and there is nothing else in the world that matters.
    my bikes
    -
    Ben

  100. #100
    the test dummy
    Reputation: insanitylevel9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gundom66
    I was going southbound on a paved trail saying hello to a couple of ladies on Specialized road bikes going northbound... Mind you that I said "hello". The response? "Ew! TREK!!!"
    what you exspect you were riding a trek
    Quote Originally Posted by craftworks750
    Riding a mtb is like a reset button, 10 mins in and there is nothing else in the world that matters.
    my bikes
    -
    Ben

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