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  1. #1
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    divorce and cancer

    Two years ago my motherbwas diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a rare form that can the entire body. Shortly after my wife told me she wanted a divorce. Throughout all of this I felt lost. I turned to riding for comfort. Throughout all of this riding has been there for me. Its kept me sane. My mom goes on for surgery on Wednesdayto combat lung cancer now and I've looked to riding more than I ever have. When I feel hopeless ans helpless I get on my bike and head for the trails. Without mountain biking I don't know how I'd be able to cope with this. I'm not a wordsmith by any means, but with all I've been through I've realized the passion I have for riding. Thanks for reading my ramblings.

  2. #2
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    The thing with riding it not only clears your lungs but it clears the mind. Being out there allows you to focus on the trail and your surroundings. I know for me it seems no matter what frame of mind I'm in, or how stressed I am after a couple of hours on the bike Im able to see things in more of a relaxed state. Keep doing what you need to do throughout these tough times. I feel for you going through this and remember your not alone. My Father had cancer and Im also going through a divorce. But there is light at the end of the tunnel....F-Cancer

  3. #3
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    +1

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  4. #4
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    I can offer little advice on the Big C and the Big D, but I do know that the positive power of riding goes way beyond simply staying physically fit and having fun. After more than a decade of riding, I am acutely aware of the mental cleansing that I can only achieve through riding. It's quite remarkable, really. I'm pretty sure, like you, riding has been a huge component in my sanity, and my civility towards others. My hunch is that therapists have very few mountain bikers as patients. Keep riding, it's good for the soul.

    And best of wishes for your mother and her upcoming surgery, on this Mother's Day.

  5. #5
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    +1 and hope things get better

  6. #6
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    It is hard when so masny things in life are difficult and out of control.

    Riding is something that you can control, and it feels good to be in control of SOMETHING.

    One of the reasons I've been hitting the trails hard lately.

    Good luck to you through the hard times...

    SPP
    Rigid.

  7. #7
    9 lives
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    Riding is therapeutic mentally and physically.

    I continued to ride (DH and trails) regularly during my entire breast cancer treatment (surgery, chemo and radiation). The treatments slowed me down mentally and physically but the routine of riding was a tremendous stress reliever, helped me sleep, stimulated my appetite, plus I maintained my fitness which in turn helped improve my self esteem. My husband's support and perseverance kept me focused and on track. Talking to people and writing down my thoughts also helped me.

    Major illness and life changes creates stress and can directly and indirectly impact so many people. I hope you can find a way to positively overcome your current situation
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  8. #8
    Fat & Single
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    Good luck to your mum, keep up the riding, everyone has a different way of dealing with things.... you could have used alcohol or something else, instead you ride and have turned into a positive !

    +rep for ya !
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  9. #9
    bust a move
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    Best wishes to you and your mom, try to stay positive and keep your passion for riding!

  10. #10
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    Riding and running has helped me through many of life's tribulations.
    I hope things look up for you and your loved ones soon!
    Healing vibes!

  11. #11
    Never Forget 9-11
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    My wife fought cancer for the last two years until it took her two months ago. If it wasn't for being able to get out on he bike I would have probably lost my mind. Good luck to your mom.
    It's such a fine line between idiocy and genius.

  12. #12
    turtles make me hot
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    Good luck with your mom. Find a girlfriend that rides.
    I like turtles

  13. #13
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    keep your chin up.

  14. #14
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    Riding is better therapy than therapy....hang in there and best wishes for your mom and you as you deal with these challenging times.

  15. #15
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    Years ago I went thru a difficult time. Couldn't sleep, eat, drank a lot. One thing I could - no, felt compelled to do - was exercise. It was before my mtb days. I pounded the pavement for hours at a time, day or night, then came home and did push ups til I collapsed. It didn't make me happy. It wasn't for fun. It was a way to cope.

    Hang in there. It will take time, but it will pass. Above all, keep riding.
    Use it, use it, use it while you still have it.

  16. #16
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    i wish i had gotten back into riding so much sooner. i love the simplistic joy of balance mastered. i love working bikes too, tinkering with them and tuning them until they run *just* perfect. In a world that feels like it's falling apart all around me, it helps to calm my soul to put something back together.

  17. #17
    since 4/10/2009
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    F cancer, indeed.

    I couldn't ride through my own treatment. Hell, I couldn't even walk for quite some time. But when I was medically cleared to do so, I came back hard.

    Riding is great therapy

  18. #18
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    It is hard when so masny things in life are difficult and out of control.

  19. #19
    Terrain Sculptor
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    Look forward. Think positive. Ride like it's your last ride. That got me through my cancer AND my divorce because of my cancer.
    I'm on the other side of it now and my life is better than it's ever been.

    I wish your Mom the best. The treatments and odds of survival now are better than they have ever been.

    As for the wife, I wish mine had come to her senses and divorced me years ago. I'm 55 and I love the mountain bike riding college girl I'm dating now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trail Ninja's Son
    You may be happy to hear that my dad has kicked cancer's ass. Now he's looking for whoever sent it.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trail Ninja View Post
    I'm 55 and I love the mountain bike riding college girl I'm dating now.

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    Sounds like a mid life crisis! Next thing you'll probably buy some sort of fancy souped up mountain bike.

    P.S. You're making lots of guys jealous. Ride on!
    Use it, use it, use it while you still have it.

  21. #21
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    Wife was diagnosed with BC last year at 37 years old. I never take her for granted - she is my angel.

    Anyway, she has been asking me to ride so I'm building this for her. It's a 650b carbon frame, but she is going to ride it with 26" wheels for now as I had them from another bike.

    Now, we'll get to spend more time together!!!!divorce and cancer-20130514_075633%5B1%5D.jpg
    by Silentfoe
    I'm satisfied knowing that what I wear during my "day" job makes me more of a man than you'll ever be.

  22. #22
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    Keep your chin up brother. You're going through a period of fierce introspection. You will get through to the other side and things will be better than you imagine. True story.
    I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I just hate vegetables.

  23. #23
    Terrain Sculptor
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gasp4Air View Post
    Sounds like a mid life crisis! Next thing you'll probably buy some sort of fancy souped up mountain bike.

    P.S. You're making lots of guys jealous. Ride on!
    My lady is 52.
    Quote Originally Posted by Trail Ninja's Son
    You may be happy to hear that my dad has kicked cancer's ass. Now he's looking for whoever sent it.

  24. #24
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    Thank you everyone for your positive thoughts and comments. It means the world and I feel blessed being part of such an amazing community.

  25. #25
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    I feel for you. I lost my mom to cancer about 20 years ago (next month). After the "support" I got from my spouse throughout my mom's sickness, I decided that I couldn't take the possibility of losing my other mom (step-mom) when there was a cancer scare with that sort of "help." My step-mom is fine, but I had to leave regardless. So, yes, it's a loss, but at least you don't have to deal with someone who really doesn't care.

  26. #26
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    after 20 years of being married, I have been going through a divorce over the last 18 months and my kids are away at college, so I have he empty nest as well. I am so lucky that I can ride from work, so I ride about 5 days a week. It has been just as helpful as , therapy, mens group , and all the other self help stuff!
    Ride to eat, Eat to ride.

  27. #27
    I got nothin'
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    I went through a divorce last year and my mother just beat cancer at 70.

    Keep riding my friend. Things will get better. Ridng will help you get through it and sort things out.
    I ride at ludicrous speed

  28. #28
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    Riding is time with God. If you don't believe it, open your eyes more.

    Time with him will make everything better.
    by Silentfoe
    I'm satisfied knowing that what I wear during my "day" job makes me more of a man than you'll ever be.

  29. #29
    since 4/10/2009
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    divorce and cancer

    Wtf with the proselytizing, dude?

  30. #30
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    As a former motorcycle rider I will change the old quote to fit.
    "You never see a Mountain Bike parked in front of a psychiatrist's office"

    Good luck with all of it and yes, cancer is beatable. Know how I know?
    "No good deed goes unpunished"

  31. #31
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    Good luck to your mom, and to you. I went through colon cancer 10 years ago and divorce a year later. Riding was then, and remains, and place of purity where there simply is no room for intrusion by the bad and nasty things in life. Nothing beats being exhausted, dirty, sore and happy. Ride on.

  32. #32
    fly on the wall
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    I can't imagine what you are going through, but just wanted to let you know you're in my thoughts. You and all others who have had cancer scar their lives.

    If you're feeling alone, a trip to the local animal shelter should be in order.
    ~Always avoid alliteration.

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  33. #33
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    divorce and cancer-20130526_183652.jpg
    98% done. Cant wait to ride with my wife.
    by Silentfoe
    I'm satisfied knowing that what I wear during my "day" job makes me more of a man than you'll ever be.

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