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  1. #201
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    my favorite always to a friend all of which never ride is " Dont worry its not that far, its downhill there and back"
    Where the Sidewalk Ends
    "Its not a hobby its a way of life."

  2. #202
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    Damn

    "Damn, that's a big fat a$$."

  3. #203
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    After getting gummed on the ankle(he had a few teeth) by a hikers three legged dog on the trail "I would call him off but he can't hear".Yes I am that slow that a 3 legged,toothless deaf dog can catch me.lol

  4. #204
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    Pedal broke

    It`s not a comment to me, just a little story to share with all of you.One guy from the group stopped all the sudden, the rest of us stopped far in front. We couldn`t see him so we started to yeil if he was ok.The answer from him was something like " I broke my F####G pedal on a rock". One of my buddies asked quickly : "Wich one, the front or the back one", I think he thought about it for 5 seconds, and screams really angry " F####K YOU ALL". Of course he could hear our laughts.

  5. #205
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    Shouted at me a week after I turned fifty by my friends sixteen year old son. "It's not fair! You get air over nothing!"

  6. #206
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    me-"my leg hurts so bad when i bend it!!!!!" brother-"then just don't bend it"

    i will never forget this one

  7. #207
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    In the same day...
    "Nice Rocky"- Sterling Lorence, to me!
    "Can you guys please stay on the trail?" - my buddy to some pros doing a catalogue photo shoot, HA!
    NOAH SEARS
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  8. #208
    w3rd.
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    Me - "What happened? I've been waiting here for a while and you were right behind me the whole time"

    My friend - "I hit a tree"

    Me - "Ouch, you okay?"

    My friend - "Yeah, I rolled up the tree, and I though if I pedaled backwards, I would go backwards down the tree, but instead I fell off my bike. I could have had it."

    Me - "Oh, me too."

  9. #209
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    'What the hell!'

    A guy on a new GT duelie pulled up next to me while I was getting ready to hop back on my hardtail after a short break. He wanted to race me down this trail. We both did a track stand on our bikes and he yelled GO!
    He choked as I sprinted away from him in a cloud of dust. I heard him yell 'What the hell!'.
    I waited for him to roll up after our little drag race but he rode past me giving me a dirty look. That was priceless.
    'Faster and faster until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death'
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  10. #210
    naI
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    hahaha, my friend tried to ride a wheelie after a speedbump in a parking lot. he was doing good for about half a second. then he leaned to the right and his bike came down heading him straight for a curb.he turned away, looked at me, and said, "DUDE! I almost just died!" i started laughing my ass off in the parking lot..
    Some people are like slinkys: not really good for anything, but you can't help but chuckle when you see them fall down a flight of stairs...

  11. #211
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    Riding through downtown late one night coming back from a friends house, I apparently was riding recklessly a cop saw me. I didn't realize he was trying to stop me until I heard him screaming out the window at me. So I stop and he says... "jesus are you stupid?!, you coulda been killed riding around like that". I apologize and stated that I didn't know I was being reckless. He responded.... "whats that bike worth, 2 grand?" Me: "Yea about that" Refferring to my Trek 4500,
    My epiglottis is full of bees!

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  12. #212
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    Coolest thing said to me on the trail:

    "Lets F*ck!"

    All I could do was smile & say:

    "Okidokie! Can do!"
    Cause/Effect.

  13. #213
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    Last year when I was touring South East Asia on my mountain bike, I pulled over a little shop asking the owner for direction to get the next town which was about 70 miles away. She simply pointed her finger and said: "Oh, just across the street"...Guess what??? It was a bus station across street where there were buses to next town

  14. #214
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    While riding up a really long hill on my road bike into the wind on a very hot day:

    "This wind is big and hot like my mom!"

    It really hurts to laugh when you're already out of breath.
    now the world is gone i'm just o n e

  15. #215
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    Not so much anything said to me but definatley one of my favorite riding stories;

    A buddy and I got new Mountain Bikes and were riding them like crazy the first week, there are zero trails where we lived to we just stuck to paved trails and sidewalks for the most part. Rode our bikes to the mall, had a few beers w/lunch and rode home. He was in front of me and was asking me something when he turned his head to listen to me while going down a hill. He got too close to a big vine covered chain link fence and his bar got stuck in it and stopped him immediately. I was going way to fast to be able to do anything so I just locked the brakes up in hopes I wouldn't run him over. I got to his rear tire and he was laying under his bike.....I grabbed all the front brake I could and went over the bars. I missed him completely, did a tuck and roll and landed on my feet. I was so happy I missed the pavement and started doing the Layve Frost cowboy wave to the cars that were passing us and honking.......all the while my buddy was laying there in agony after my bike landed on his rib cage. He was ok, but he let me take the lead the rest of our rides.
    Darkness warshed over the Dude--darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night.

  16. #216
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    "Thank you 813...." said to me by a (guessing?) 60+ year old woman on the MS150 ride here in PA. I was struggling from not training enough for the ride and when she came up behind me she said "Thank you 813" and as she passed she said that her son had passed away from MS and his birthday was 8/13. I finished that ride with ease, I was riding for her son.
    "I hope you have a big trunk because I'm going to put my bike in it"

  17. #217
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    hummm...

    "Naked Jogger dead ahead!"

    said from a guy on a bike speeding down hill from the hub towards Trippet Ranch with out stopping while I was climbing up at about 7AM on a foggy Monday in December!

    Sure enough there was a naked man balls out swinging in the misty morning air on his AM jogg!!!!

  18. #218
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    Chick magnet

    "Nice legs, here's my number call me"

  19. #219
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    Comment from horseback rider drinking beer while me and some friends were climbing a rock, root and switchback filled long climb to the top of a ridge:

    "Damn, you boys are tougher than foreskin!"
    Ain't Life Grand!

  20. #220
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    Heard it today...

    The coolest thing.... EVER...

    "slow down"

  21. #221
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    End of summer riding nearly here--last chance for comments

    By now this thread is hidden on page five. For those of you who have a story to tell, here's your chance!

  22. #222
    Don't worry, be happy!
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    I love getting spanked by older women~ enthusiastic newbie to me.
    (it was a mountain bike ride, get your minds out of the gutter)
    Last edited by formica; 09-21-2006 at 08:44 AM.

  23. #223
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    While I was resting on a long ride at the local trails(chimney rock) two kids I'd say early teens came up and said "Nice Bike" as they were riding away I heard the one kid say to the other "That's what you need to get over those logs" I enjoyed the compliment as it was my 3rd ride on the new rig, but felt like I should have chased after them and told them they didn't need anything special to hop over logs.

  24. #224
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    I recently was riding with a new group of friends, and was ahead of one of the more experienced guys (I've been riding my roadie for quite a while now, and haven't been off-road much), trying to get my mtb legs back. We go bombing down a pretty steep drop, and he says "You are doing great, you've ridden this trail alot haven't you?", my response was "a few times, but not since college about 10 years ago", almost immediately after that comment, I hit a loose patch of sand, my front tire washes out, and I go flying over the bars. Now, I've practiced aikido for the past 4 years or so, so my first reaction was to tuck and roll, coming right up out of the fall. My buddy goes "Holy crap, nice roll!" and kept telling everyone about it after the ride, saying "he just rolled right up, grabbed his bike and kept talking".

    Made my day.

  25. #225
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    I’m younger and ride more than nearly all of my ride buddies -- so I’m used to a few cracks when we’re out mountain biking.

    But on this day I was road riding alone after getting dogged by a couple of my roadie pals. I waited around for 10 minutes before I’d better get going or I’d run out of time before I had to get to work. So I took off alone. I worked my way up some side streets in route towards our normal big climb in the hills south of Las Vegas when I saw a rider zip by on the main road just far enough ahead that I couldn't tell who it was.

    Game on! If it's my buddies I'll try to catch them before the hill pitches up to 9% and then at least they'll know I'm out there before they waste me. I slowly reeled this guy in enough to see that he wasn't anyone I know and I decided I'd see if I can catch him on the big climb. Just as we hit the steepest part of the first climb I catch and pass this guy with a quick little "good mornin' " as I pass. I was pretty proud of myself because I was climbing pretty strong and I caught someone on that freakin’ climb. I was riding pretty good and holding a strong 16 mph when I passed.

    I crest the summit at an easy pedal before the downhill. Unfortunately, I lost my Headsweats beanie a week before and got sweat in my eyes as I started the descent. Just as the road pitches up again I see this guy riding up on me -- so I put the hammer down again and pull away up this very short painful 10-11% climb. After the climb I got sweat in my eyes again as I started the descent and he reeled me in again. So I went hard at the next climb and dropped him again until I was blinded by sweat a third time on a downhill.

    He finally rolled up on me with his hand out to shake mine and said "Thank you for letting me chase you. You're damned tough to catch on those hills. Are you new around here?" I reply with a nope, been riding this route a couple of times a week for the last three years.

    It was cool because:
    1. I weight around 230 lbs and I don’t normally drop guys on climbs like that.
    2. I was riding really well regardless of weight.
    3. He was a strong rider on a really tricked out Trek Madone with the new Bontrager deep dish carbon wheelset.
    4. I learned that if I don’t hammer down the hills it makes it easier to climb the successive hills.

    It was freakin’ awesome!

    mbb

  26. #226
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    last chance for end of year comments

    I'd been rehabbing a broken wrist I got this past August for 3 1/2 months. Finally I was able to get back in the saddle for a test ride. After I'd spun around a very easy trail I stopped to take a self-picture of me finally back out on a trail. A hiker happened by and offered to take my picture. When I explained how important that ride was she smiled and said "Good for you. Have a wonderful time." Little did she know how close I was to tears to be healthy enough to ride again and her smile and encouragement were really really welcome.

  27. #227
    keepin' it rural
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    someones gotta say it....

    yield! motherf!@#$% YIELD!!

  28. #228
    I like Monkeys
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    Last week I'm going up a steep section a friend had been trying to get up and made it over the toughest part without a problem, and met another friend coming down the same section. I just did a short trackstand and finished the climb after he passed. My friend who had tried and failed on the climb a couple of times just said "That's wrong, that's just plain wrong". That made my day,
    What do I want to be when I grow up.....Dead!

  29. #229
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    I was going to meet up with a couple friends at the LBS. They were roadies with plans to test ride some Ellsworth's. I told them I would love to go along. The night before I shared the majority of a bottle of tequila with a friend. Since I was meeting the newbies at 11:30 I figured I would be ok. When I got to the shop they introduced me to their friend who happened to be a long distance pro racer. All of a sudden the tequila sounded like a bad idea as well as the hard tail, board shorts and t-shirt I came out fitted in. Turns out the pro was an ex physical therapist who had once worked for my newbie friend. I had a complete rupture on my right Achilles tendon eighteen months ago. At one time during the ride I was actually leading the climb and I could hear the two physical therapists talking shop about my injury. PT # 1: He had a complete rupture" PT # 2 " Wow, he is doing great!" I have been working hard and it made my day.
    "Do or do not, there is no try." Yoda

  30. #230
    Hairy man
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    Quote Originally Posted by formica
    I love getting spanked by older women~ enthusiastic newbie to me.
    (it was a mountain bike ride, get your minds out of the gutter)
    Where was the newbie's mind?
    We all get it in the end.

  31. #231
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    Smile

    Next time, you could also add, saying: "I AM the motor on this thing!" -GT2005

    Quote Originally Posted by Curious
    "You did it on THAT?!", from a full squish gearie, referring to my rigid single speed at the top of a long-a$$ climb.

    [edit=almost forgot...]
    And while passing a hiker he says, "Ya need a motor on that thing!" To which I replied, "Where's the fun in that?"

  32. #232
    less is more
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    "Mom, is that a boy or girl?" Something I get everywhere.
    Finesse is everything.

  33. #233
    Eric the Red
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    Said to my girlfriend

    "Uh, was your bottle full when you started?" A guy on the local Thanksgiving morning ride after noticing the almost empty pint bottle of Wild Turkey in her Camelback. (It was a shot or two shy of full when she started)

  34. #234
    Category Winner
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    Why not add to an old thread.

    On the last day of the Trans Rockies 2006 we had to climb for hours till we were well above the tree line. I offered to push my partners bike as he was looking cashed in.

    I said "Do you want me to push your bike for awhile?'
    He said " Get the fu6k away from me or I'll throw you off this fu6king mountain!!!"

    Yeah, that was the coolest thing. I'll never forget it.
    WWW.TEAMDICKY.COM

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  35. #235
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    Quote Originally Posted by teamdicky
    Why not add to an old thread.

    On the last day of the Trans Rockies 2006 we had to climb for hours till we were well above the tree line. I offered to push my partners bike as he was looking cashed in.

    I said "Do you want me to push your bike for awhile?'
    He said " Get the fu6k away from me or I'll throw you off this fu6king mountain!!!"

    Yeah, that was the coolest thing. I'll never forget it.

    Lol. That is great.

  36. #236
    BBW
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    This is the funniest thing that have ever happened to me

    I swear this is true:
    We were a group of maybe 8 that were doing a 60 miler ride. Almost finishing (exhausted already) we got to the last 3 miles or so and we had to cross a little town, like a ghost town were we got our cars.(Aragua-Venezuela)
    Going through the last hill we saw a group of ladyes at the end???? in skirts with long hair cheering us Hell yeah we thought, feeling proud from ourselves.... as we aproached the LADYES we realize that they were TRANSVESTITES from the little town and they were outside the haircut saloon cause they had nothing better to do in this little town and they were excited to see a bunch of men in shorts!!!!

    We left laughing as fast as our legs allowed us

    PS: I don't have pictures to show you and I don't want them either

  37. #237
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    At Chubb

    Me and a couple of my buddies were at Chubb in eureka and a bunch of people had stopped to do a few drops that come off the side of the trail. We all did the 5 ft drop then my buddy was getting ready to do the 12 foot drop and was a little hesitant, as he was straddling his bike and playin with his shock i yelled out, "comon lets go!" and then he says "hold on, i am making my shock big," and then the guy next to me that i didnt know yells out, "you must be sponsored by pfizer(sp?)?,"
    i thought it was hilarious

    for those of you who dont know, pfizer is a natural male enhancement pill

  38. #238
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    climbing up a hill as hard as I could, and passing some people who were seeming to struggle to get up the hill. Then one of the guys yelled against his mates:

    "man, het lijkt wel of hij naar beneden rijdt' (It was in ducth, zo I will translate it to English:-))

    'man, it he rides it as if it is a downhill'

    It was cool because of the difference in speed, the fact that I was going all out, and getting the cool comment. made my day, and some other ridedays afterwards.

  39. #239
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    Back to shooting,

    Many moons ago, me and my mate going off for some moorland shooting. His sister says "can me and my pal come along?".

    Well we tried to disuade them, as they are not exactly outdoors types, but they insisted.

    So, we arrive, middle of nowhere, miles from the nearest house, and a little voice from the back seat says " where are the shops ?"

  40. #240
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    I’ve been riding for 17 years so I have a few.

    I had a blast reading these. Here are a few that are part of my best memories

    “That was epic”… After a pitched back and forth battle for 9th place at the McDowell Mountain Melt Down race about 7 years ago. The guy who said that knows epic. Acouple of his exploits include ultra distance runs and a 250 mile leg of the Baja 1000 on Motorcycle.

    “Dude… we’re in second place”… same guy from the story above at 7:00 AM at the 2005 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo (duo category): Later that morning our mechanic… “Your in first place now all you have to do is keep going and they can’t catch you”

    “Dude… There is NO WAY you could’ve saved that”… again same guy from the original quote. I had just finished going in head first off 4 foot drop that I ‘thought’ was a one foot step.

    You’re going up there again? How many times is that?... A hiker on Shaw butte when I was doing hill repeats

    “You are F*&$ing insane”… To get the full effect you have too: add a thick Aussie accent to the comment, realize it’s about 1:00 AM and pouring rain, I’m walking my bike to the exchange tent to go out for another lap, I’m wearing one of those cheap clear plastic rain coats and rain pants, and I’ve got a garbage bag zip tied around my helmet.

    The best one, said about me by my 16 year old son’s buddy while resting at the top of steep climb right after I told the two of them that we should get going “He’s the energizer bunny”

  41. #241
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    Duude . . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by Don Juan
    Coolest thing said to me on the trail:

    "Lets F*ck!"

    All I could do was smile & say:

    "Okidokie! Can do!"
    But then your buddy said: "Duude! Get back! She's a Duude!


    Sorry, but you set yourself up for that one.

  42. #242
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    Do you have insurance?
    SingleSpeed,in the way
    Amateur
    Dogs over Cats

  43. #243
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    "Look mom! That's a GIRL on that bike!" - a little girl in the park where the trailhead is



    Funniest would have had to have been the following conversation...

    I'm on my road bike coming up a climb when I see this little 8 year old girl come running to the road. I'm going slow enough that she can run next to me for a few seconds and she says (very angrily):

    Girl: DID YOU YELL AT MY DAD?!
    Me: uh ... what?
    Girl: DID YOU YELL AT MY DAD?! Someone on a bike just yelled at my dad when he drove by!!!!
    Me: No ... I did NOT yell at your dad.

    Of course I was really thinking "well, what did your dad do to get yelled at by a cyclist?!" but I didn't say it. I'm kind of wondering what she would have done if I had said "YES! I yelled at your dad!"

  44. #244
    I like to ride my bike.
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    When I was younger and very new to mtbing, I came across a group of bikers. They stoped to take a break. I asked them, "Why does your fork only have one side (It was a Cannondale Lefty)"
    He says " I could only afford one half."

    This group told me about mtbr. At the time, I had no idea that Cannondale made leftys and I thought the guy was serious.
    I like bicycles. Bicycles make me happy. Riding them makes me even happier.
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  45. #245
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    Road biking with my wife and the local group last summer (wife isn't a big biker, but does it to spend time with me, and she can hold 19 mph average for 35+ miles), our group got into a crash forming the pace line after a stop at a T intersection. One rider cut off my wife and another ride rode over her rear wheel. My wife went down, tacoed rear wheel, road rash, cracked helmet in 3 places, etc. After doing a 15 mile time trial back to get the car to pick her up, all the way thinking..."she's done with biking, and I'm going to have to sell her bike", she gets in the car and says "What really pisses me off is that I was having a great ride!"

  46. #246
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    Does she till ride?

    Quote Originally Posted by Klein_man
    Road biking with my wife and the local group last summer (wife isn't a big biker, but does it to spend time with me, and she can hold 19 mph average for 35+ miles), our group got into a crash forming the pace line after a stop at a T intersection. One rider cut off my wife and another ride rode over her rear wheel. My wife went down, tacoed rear wheel, road rash, cracked helmet in 3 places, etc. After doing a 15 mile time trial back to get the car to pick her up, all the way thinking..."she's done with biking, and I'm going to have to sell her bike", she gets in the car and says "What really pisses me off is that I was having a great ride!"
    Lucky guy to be married to someone like that.

  47. #247
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    Quote Originally Posted by xcguy
    Lucky guy to be married to someone like that.

    true dat.

    coolest thing....this cocky SOB talking trash and saying how core he is, says

    "watch this"

    rolls off a near 90deg slickrock and bang. ragdoll.

    no one felt bad.

  48. #248
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    I was starting a long climb (6 miles) before a technical down-hill return (3 miles). A guy on his nice Turner had his sweetie running along side of him (she was a looker) she turned up the single track - he and I headed up the fire road. When we got to the top he stopped and rested. I was running late so I headed down - solo. The week before some major storms had blown through the canyon. Half way down I came around a corner and DROPPED into one of the streams that used to be a crossing, it was now a 4 foot bank with 2 feet of water and rather large baby heads. All I could think was, "Crap, there won't be anyone here to watch this amazing crash!" I had just put a new fork on the week before (more travel!!!).

    As my fork saved me from a rather major drenching and some definite pain (unintentional front wheel wheelie through the stream to the other side) I thought, "Crap, there wasn't anyone here to see that spectacular save!"

    "Wow!" she said. Stopped dead in her tracks on the other side of the crossing. The guys girlfriend, the one that had split off from us at the trail head earlier...she saw every breathtaking moment and was very impressed.

    I just smiled and pedaled myself right past her...

  49. #249
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    Flight of the Pigs 2002 - I had met my boyfriend the previous year on this ride in Phoenix... It was early in the mornining and it had been raining lightly in the desert. Most of the group was ahead on the technical climb, but my boyfriend had been hanging back with me the whole time. As I climbed to the lookout before just before Buena Vista he was still waiting for me, which was really out of character. There were two rainbows and the sun was beginning to peek out from behind the clouds - it was a picture perfect morning. As I arrived to the top, he got down on one knee. It's all a blur and I really don't remember the exact words he said to me, but I said "yes"...

  50. #250
    Slave to the grind
    Reputation: cherrybomber's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Posts
    517

    Said by a hot chick after a downhill run:

    "Wow i'm so tired i nearly boinked..."

    which made the rest of us watch her expectantly for the rest of the ride.

    Hey you never know, she may need help if she started boinking again!
    Let it flow, let yourself go, slow and low, that is the tempo.

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