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  1. #151
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    My ruger 10/22 will jam some times too.... after i run 500+ rounds. But when I clean it It never fails.
    try cleaning your gun, a dirty gun will fail. some guns can run 500 rounds before getting failing, some can only run 40 or 50, maybe less. If it jams when its clean, get better ammo, if it jams with good ammo, you need a new gun. Why would you like a gun that continuosly jams? thats like saying you like your bike even if the wheels fall off some times.

    whats the tread about again? why are we talking about guns?
    Three out of the four voices in my head say, "Go for it!"

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  2. #152
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    Not so much cool as funny:
    Back when we'd just gotten out of highschool & therefore had no money & were riding crappy bikes I was riding Bromont with a couple of friends. As we approached a steep uphill section from a fairly fast flat section (the kind of thing where you have to shift down from the big ring/small cog to middle or granny & one of the bigger cogs all at once) My friend said loudly "Gears, don't fail me now!" just before grabbing a couple of fists full of Gripshift which was quickly followed by a lound "CHUNK" sound as his chain came off both the cassette & the chainrings.
    That was probably about ten years ago but we still use the phrase every once in a while as a sort of inside joke. I guess that's cool!

  3. #153
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    Quote Originally Posted by Surestick Malone
    Not so much cool as funny:
    Back when we'd just gotten out of highschool & therefore had no money & were riding crappy bikes I was riding Bromont with a couple of friends. As we approached a steep uphill section from a fairly fast flat section (the kind of thing where you have to shift down from the big ring/small cog to middle or granny & one of the bigger cogs all at once) My friend said loudly "Gears, don't fail me now!" just before grabbing a couple of fists full of Gripshift which was quickly followed by a lound "CHUNK" sound as his chain came off both the cassette & the chainrings.
    That was probably about ten years ago but we still use the phrase every once in a while as a sort of inside joke. I guess that's cool!
    That's a pretty good one.

    Ya gotta love cheap bikes.

  4. #154
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    topic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wedgy
    My ruger 10/22 will jam some times too.... after i run 500+ rounds. But when I clean it It never fails.
    try cleaning your gun, a dirty gun will fail. some guns can run 500 rounds before getting failing, some can only run 40 or 50, maybe less. If it jams when its clean, get better ammo, if it jams with good ammo, you need a new gun. Why would you like a gun that continuosly jams? thats like saying you like your bike even if the wheels fall off some times.

    whats the tread about again? why are we talking about guns?
    Why, it seems as if some of you think the topic of this thread is "coolest gun stories". Go ahead, post away! It's for sure all mtn. bikers own guns so I know we're all interested in cool gun stories.

  5. #155
    Staggering sober
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    ex's

    My ex wife used to shout from behind "Is that all ya got?". Maybe one of the reasons she left was she couldn't keep up with me anymore. I was always out of earshot. Heck, I'm only ten years older. She shoulda picked on somebody her own age.

    I hope you're loving Kentucky darling. The new trails here are awesome. Don't bother though, you'd hate them.

    Check's in the mail.

    Tim

  6. #156
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    When i first started riding (back when there just werent many trails around here), i took my brother out for a ride, about 3 hours in, he asks "is this a trail?".... five years later, right before Bike magazine did a write up on Downieville (california), i took my brother up there, i heard him yell from behind me on Butcher Ranch... "NOW THIS IS A TRAIL!"
    WARNING: Riding with improperly adjusted brakes or bake pads is dangerous and can result in serious injury or death.

  7. #157
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    haha, well i thought this was pretty funny... idk about cool but hey.

    well, i'm a skinny 17 year old guy with really long hair and i was riding some XC the other day and some faster guys were coming up on me and all the sudden i hear "d*mn, this chick is really freaking fast" followed by "you dumba** that isn't a girl... look at HIS legs" and then the other replied back "oh god, i feel dumber then a box of rocks." then the other guy says "well, after making yourslef look dumb you better prove you are a faster rider" so they took off after i let them pass, but i was able to hang with them the rest of the lap, but i was working really hard and after we dropped back in for another loop i was only able to stay with em for another 2 miles till i slowed down before blowing up. i thought it was funny cause even though he thought i was a chick he did say i was "really freaking fast" which was a nice thing to say... if i look past the chick part lol

  8. #158
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    "meow"-to random people/motorist as we ride past

    or may absolute favorite "hey there cutie" to a 400 pound woman.

  9. #159
    Shut Up, Legs!
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    It started out with this smoker blocking the trail. "Nice shorts!" he smerks to me. I get clear off him, far enough that he can't catch me running and say, "I get that all the time. I don't go that way, man. I'm married with 2 kids!" And off I start, barely able to pedal since I'm laughing my brains out.
    A tough day on the trails still beats a good day at work...

  10. #160
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    homosexual phenomenon

    Me and some of my friends were riding some street, and we were in the middle of one of the slums in my town, as we pass this one house this one black dude (who is an extremely limp wristed fan of elton john) waves at us and nicely says, "hi boys(in a horribly gay tone)", at first we all just shock it off except for the fact that right after he said that this butch looking chick with a mohawk was just getting off her motorcycle screams, "sut-up you f**king ******" she then said to us, "never mind the gay boy". this whole little schpiel maby went of for 5 seconds, and we were laughing so hard one of us fall our our bike and several other fogot to check for traffic as we went through a busy intersection.

    not only are girls attracted to ss bikes, butso are homos, lol

  11. #161
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    Tough climb, huh!

    Quote Originally Posted by xcguy
    I keep my greetings on the trail simple--big smile, maybe howdy, maybe whassup. One ride I saw a guy seemingly struggling uphill. I shouted out, "beautiful day!" He smiled broadly and replied "Every day!". A good recipe for a positive outlook on life.
    I am 33, so I am spinning on my all mountain bike and a 50yr old passes me on the climb with a trek top fuel and says tough clim huh! Since then I have lost 10 pounds - 195 to 185.
    Sit and spin my ass...

  12. #162
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    scared the sh!t out of a kid but...

    I didn't mean to! There's a fire road climb near Julian, Ca. to the top of Mt. Cuyamaca. For a Colorado kid to climb from 4000 ft to 7000 ft in a few miles was a life-saving experience while I was living in San Diego. Anyway, I was coming back down when I came up on a Ma and Pa and son. I slowed way down and went way around to the left. The son just about jumped out of his skin to the right--yow! he was gone from sight! I knew I'd cleared them all by 3 ft minimundo so WTF? The Pa, holding his shaking son, said "he thought you were a bear."
    I nodded, kept riding, then laughed all the way to my truck. There were no bears around for it to have been a bear, but a guy on a bike was enough to shock the son. Sorry, kid.

  13. #163
    Why aren't you riding????
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    Me and a buddy drop into some ranch after 3 hours of backcountry riding and Who i assume is the owner flies up in his truck and ask us where the hell we came from. My buddy and I both turn around and point at the mountain and this guy says "BU!!SH!T, the only way you two could have gotten up there is by helicopter".....we both laughed, asked where the gate was and rode off smiling.

  14. #164
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    From some punks on the way to a trailhead...

    "Whoa! Look out for Neal Armstrong" We still laugh about it, and quote it on nearly every ride.

    That's me: astronaut, 7 time TDF winner, mountain biker.

  15. #165
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    "you boys better move on, drunks have been known to come round that corner and take people out"...from an old gnarly lookin dude while we were posting a directions to a race across from a bar in an ozark town...as if we were planning on hanging out or something.

  16. #166
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    Couple good one,

    First while standing behind the service counter of the shop I worked at in Indiana, old farmer dude moseys up, thumbs hanging on his suspenders "Y'all do rieemm jobs?" I couldn't keep it together for that one.

    Riding Porucpine Rim in Moab our buddy falls and breaks his elbow, we thought it was just a sprain at the time. Anyway, this dude stops to see if we are ok, he starts checking out our friend's arm, finally we ask, are you a doctor? "No but I did stay at a holiday in express last night." Later he told us he was a physical therapist, but it made the 6 hour hike out more enjoyable some how

    This past sunday, I was out on my Surly Cross check and got a flat, I'm chilling in the shade and taking my time fixing it when two roadies slow and ask if I'm ok, I say yeah I'm fine but thans for asking, then as they ride away I here them say in a non-mocking tone, "He's on a surly he's gotta know what he is doing"

    Non biking one: Me and a buddy are walking up a hill with our longboards, some kids sitting on the curb, one goes "is that a skateboard?"
    Me: "Uh yeah"
    Kid (With attitude): "What are you going to do with it?"
    I just shook my head.

    A good line I learned from a boarding forum for when punk ass short boarders ask "Can you do any tricks?"
    response: "Here's a trick, I ****ed your mom last night."

    Can be applied to punk ass kids on bikes ass well

  17. #167
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    "I do."

    Serious. Met her on a trail. Proposed on the trail years later. We're still on the trail today.
    The sketchier you are, the better you'll look in artists' renderings.

  18. #168
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    Quote Originally Posted by DashRipRock
    "I do."

    Serious. Met her on a trail. Proposed on the trail years later. We're still on the trail today.
    We have a winner!!!

  19. #169
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hardtails Are Better
    We have a winner!!!
    I was thinking that myself. Sure humourous stories are cool, but that is really special.
    When under pressure, your level of performance will sink to your level of preparation.

  20. #170
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    while riding with the head of the French drug testers

    he turned to me and said, "I admit it. Us French can't stand the fact that the Americans have won the last 8 Tour de France bike races. By claiming they were juiced we at least can mess up their reputations for awhile till they expensively prove their innocence, if not get them banned from racing! I admit it, the testers are the ones cheating!" How cool of him to say this to me!
    Last edited by xcguy; 07-28-2006 at 11:22 AM.

  21. #171
    Steep Hill
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    COOLEST THING SAID: After nearly a 25 mile run on the Mid-Mountain trail in Park City, UT when combined with the weather, wildlife, and trail conditions had the making of a religious experience: "Unbelievable!"

    UNCOOLEST THING SAID: After a crash that broke my clavical, scapula and tore my rotator cuff, a trail hogging housewife in a $500 jogging suit ran up to me on the ground and said "THAT'S NOT A GOOD WAY TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING." before continuing on her merry way without even a concern if I was hurt. We were the only two in the desert.
    ** Obey gravity. It's the law. **

  22. #172
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    "whoa - nice air time" from a couple of kids and a bud of mine after flying down a 30 ft hill to hit a sweet little hill for a good 5-8 ft jump. Never thought I'd catch it like I did, but it sure felt great afterwards.

  23. #173
    I like to ride my bike.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jugdish
    Hottie: Nice S.A.S.S.!

    Me: You like my SASS? You should see my Unit!!
    You made that up...but, very funny indeed.
    I like bicycles. Bicycles make me happy. Riding them makes me even happier.
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  24. #174
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    He's riding out here on a single speed!

    When I heard that I suddenly had plenty of energy for another lap.

    I may not ride very fast but I'm 2-old-2-go-slow.

  25. #175
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    The funny thing I heard on the trail was ...

    "Dude, lost dog(on the trail)." And we continued to move towards it about twenty feet until ...
    "F#*$ it's a bear!!!"
    The bear was not facing us and in a crouching position. But after it heard us and looked at us then we found it that was no dog. We were so lucky we were going up hill. I have never gone down a hill that fast.

  26. #176
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    Seeing that was worth....

    "Seeing that was worth climbing up the mountain and standing here for 30 minutes in the pouring rain...."

    This was said to me after I had a spectacular crash during Downhill practice at the Whitetail resort in PA. It completely poured rain all day, and practice and racing completely sucked. There was this 3 foot drop followed by a right turn. I went off the drop and when I landed my right hand slipped off the bars. I tried to grab the bar while using the front brake to try to slow down and make the turn. I realized I was headed for two trees. At that moment I knew even if I grabbed the bars I wouldn't be able to make the turn and avoid the trees. So I aimed right in between them, at this point my rear wheel was in the air from too much front brake. Well the bike wouldn't fit between the trees and the bike hit and I flew off like superman, I did a tuck and roll in mid air and landed on my back about 15 feet down from the trees and popped right up on my feet. I looked and my bike was hanging from the trees, and there were two spectators who were watching that drop and that was when one of them said it.

    Man that was a great crash. Oh and yeah I had full body armor so I didn't get hurt. Only damage to the bike was a bent brake lever blade.

  27. #177
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    Riding yesterday I came across a dude going the opposite direction and when we both slowed down to pass he said, "Happy squeeze!" I thought that was funny and cool. I hate it when people aren't really friendly on the trail.

    Years ago in Savannah, GA on an island, it was about midnight and I just had to go ride after I got out of studio (college). I went by my self and this was the first night ride I'd ever done. The whole time I kept hearing noises in the woods. It was freaking me out a little since I had both my lights on my bars. If I went down, I wouldn't see sh*t. Anyway, I'm about 1/2" mile from the parking lot and I see these little white things running down the trail in front of me. I come up on them and see that they are baby wild pigs. I'm like uh-oh, momma's got to be around here. So I weave through them and one runs under my front wheel and squeals, "damn b*tch!" in pig speak. Now, I pulled up on the bars and the little bugger is more scared than hurt and I know moma boars is not liking this.

    I haven't sprinted that fast ever. Talk about ruining my feel good buzz.

  28. #178
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    At a 24 hour race

    With my bar light failing one of the course workers at a check point said " Hurry home little boy". The way it was said and the genuine concern in her voice at 2:30 AM made me feel good. Luckily my helmet mount gave me enough light to finish the lap.

  29. #179
    a.k.a. MTBMaven
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    "No go ahead. I want to see you ride that...I'm having a hard time walking it."
    I thought of that while riding my bicycle. ~ Albert Einstein on the theory of relativity

  30. #180
    YOUREGO ISNOT YOURAMIGO
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    Good, then I don't have to shoot you.

    Told to me recently in Downieville after riding up Saddleback lookout road on my way to the Empire trail.
    Clamper/claimer thought I was scoping out his new compresser he was using on his claim.
    After I told him I was just on bike ride, he pulls out a pistol and says, "Good then I won't have ta shoot you".
    Luckily I wasnt injured. http://forums.mtbr.com/images/smilies/out.gif
    Banned for showing Boobies.

  31. #181
    Shreddin the Cul de Sac
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    conversation with a dirt biker

    Just this weekend I had a conversation with a guy on an enduro motorcycle. He was riding out of the sportsmans club that lies adjacent to the state park where I was riding. He was riding in the state park (illegal), but mtbers (myself included) frequently ride on the nice swoopy pine grove trial that cuts across the sportsmans club (also illegal - clearly marked no bikes).

    He mentioned how some cranky hunter complained that some mtbers spooked his deer and insisted the sign go up. I commented on how the mtb association came out and put signs up, effectively taking over all the trails cut by dirt bikers 15 years earlier, and referring to any other trail in the woods not blessed by the the mtb club as an illegal, rogue trail.

    We pretty much agreed that it's too bad there is so much politics involved in getting out in the woods, and that common sense and being respectful of others goes a long way.

    Then we struck out our separate ways.

    Over and out.
    keep moving

  32. #182
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    'scuse me!

    Sorry, double post.
    Last edited by xcguy; 08-04-2006 at 07:19 PM.

  33. #183
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    'scuse me!

    So I'm grinding up a steep uphill. Not too gnarly but steep and endless. I get the urge to...how to say this in polite company?...pass gas. I figure it's now or never. Wouldn't you know it, the second I rip a big loud one someone had crept up to pass me. As he went around me to my left (through my cloud, I'm guessing) I'm all apologetic. "Dude, I never heard you coming. So sorry!" He says, "no problem, you got me on the exhale!".
    Last edited by xcguy; 08-04-2006 at 07:20 PM.

  34. #184
    Nervous Descender
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    Group ride with a total newb who was having a hard time figuring out what gear to be in. We stop for a rest, and he checks out the ride leaders 5" travel FS bike. Then he checks out mine.

    Newb: "How many gears does that bike have?'

    Me: "Just one."

    Newb: "That sounds simple."

    Check out some of our local hills: CDRC (Capital District Road Climbs)

  35. #185
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    Mine

    "Yes, we'll wait up for you"
    'If Wal-Mart sold parachutes, who would jump?' Frank Havnoonian (quoting his father) Drexel Hill Cyclery

  36. #186
    Portland, OR
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    "Holy F****** S*** !" along with "ohh my F****** god !" along with "Jeesus !" came from a huge group of BMXers as I aired like 10 feet out of this one hip at the WL skatepark. then when I stopped near them "I've never seen anyone do that on a mountain bike, not in my whole life !"
    Ibex bikes

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  37. #187
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    Nice avatar

    oldskoolbiker
    Your fear of looking stupid is holding you back.

  38. #188
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    that would be "wooooooooo!!!!!!" (they were in a jeep sticking their hands out doing that.

  39. #189
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    Rounding a corner in a race today, as I was rounding a corner, an attractive marshall caught my eye. I took the turn a bit wide, and scraped a bush just a tad. The guy behind me says, "I was looking at her too."

  40. #190
    JTR
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    Coolest or funniest, I am not sure but mine came from a Clark County Officer at about 20MPH as he shouted, "Pull Over" from his passenger side Window. I had blatantly (and Safely) run a red light, however no ticket.

  41. #191
    The former Blue 'Goose
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    Lots of fun ones:

    -on a roadbike review ride I'm sitting at the corner waiting for the light to
    change with geardaddy and scot gore and a convertible full of 16-18 year
    old women are going "wwoooooo!!!' and "hot legs" and even though it
    was great they were all young enough to be our daughters and we were
    all married guys. geez.

    -I'm riding along a road on the way to a trail and a pickup truck stops in
    the opposing lane and the guy sticks his hand out, I'm ready for the
    finger but he gives me a big thumbs up and continues on his way.

    -from a friend who hadn't ridden in a while "GOD, you're an ANIMAL!"

    -from some kids playing ball in a field while I rode by on the road bike:
    "It's Lance Armstrong"...

    -While riding my MTB up north in full MTBR regalia "are you on a racing
    team? You guys train up here?" heh.

  42. #192
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    this thread

    Keep 'em coming, folks. May this be the thread that doesn't die, 'cause we all have heard cool things on the trail and I, for one, want to hear all of them!

  43. #193
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    "Sorry to slow you guys down"

    Said by a friend of my buddy, when we got back to the cars after we dragged him through 19 km of singletrack, starting with a 5.5 km climb on un-maintained horse trails, on a 12 year old rigid Cannondale. It didn't even have V-brakes.

    This guy hasn't done any riding other than pulling his daughter around the neighborhood in his bike trailer. We couldn't believe he didn't kill himself, let alone finish the ride. He had fun, I think we got him hooked.

    Unbelievable.

  44. #194
    I rather be cycling...
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    ... and if we just ...

    "me das tu autografo"....

    a kid asking me to sign his notebook after finishing the Red Bull Down Taxco in Mexico


    sorry for the crappy / huge picture, but i couldnt resize it...

    Languages spoken: bicyclish, spanish and a bit of english
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJy_GDpbRvk

  45. #195
    schipperke momma
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    "I am the pirate king..." sung to music by a guy going down a ziggy section of what I was clibing up. Nice melody, wish I'd heard the rest of it.
    I've defected. Viva la pavement.

  46. #196
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    It was my first ride at Whistler for the season, and....

    On the first chairlift up, we saw a bear roaming around the B-line area. The three of us on the lift simultaneously cried out, "Holy $hit it's a bear!"

    For those of you who've been to Whistler, you'll know that the gondola and the chairlift run next to each other for the most part. Well, while going up, some girl in a gondola going down lifted her shirt for us on the chair, and one of the guys with me said, "God damn, I've just been flashed by a twelve-year old!"

    I had a great day up there . Also planning to go up there tomorrow.

  47. #197
    "Oldfart from Wayback"
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    Not sure it's "cool"

    But I love it when backpackers out on a multi- day trip ask me "How did you get that bike back in here ??" all in the midst of an easy days ride.

  48. #198
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    Heard today:

    Lotsa giggles, heavy breathing, and an "OhmyGawdOhmyGawd!"....

    Seen today:

    One attractive, naked, blond female complete with tramp-stamp, going for broke on a lucky bastid just off the trail, in plain view.
    Bombardier :::: MCM #249

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  49. #199
    I like to ride my bike.
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    Isn't it a great feeling when your thread gets several thousand views? You must be content with 200 replies and 10,000 views...Right?

    The most I ever had was around 4,000.




















    The most I ever had was around 4,000
    -and no, I'm not talking about sprem you pervert....that would really suck though.
    I like bicycles. Bicycles make me happy. Riding them makes me even happier.
    Scott Bicycles
    Maxxis Tires
    Team Blog

  50. #200
    mtbr member
    Reputation:
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Posts
    7,942

    the thread that won't die

    I never knew this thread would last this long. I just haven't been able to get that guy's reply to my greeting (see first post) out of my head for about two years now. I like to think I've always had a positive outlook on life, but seeing him struggling uphill yet blindsiding me with this most ultimate of positive outlooks has stuck with me. Truly, I try now to live by his philosphy--you know, life is how you look at it, every day I'm breathing is a good day, etc etc. I figured you all just had to hear about it.

    Most folks wouldn't really have an outlet for this type of comment, but this thread has allowed fellow mtbrs to post their thoughts. I only encountered this rider for maybe 5 seconds, but it was something. In fact, every time I ride his reply flows through my mind. Who was that guy?

    Cool comments can run from the funny to philisophical to bizarre, but we've all heard them. Somehow, hearing them while riding is that much cooler!

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