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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by pedaling pyrate
    anything from someone posting with a name like Anonymous

    And you're really named Pedaling pirate?
    Your fear of looking stupid is holding you back.

  2. #102
    Faller - Expert Class
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    Mine happened when a buddy and I were riding, and I was just learning clipless....

    Couldn't unclip, fell off a 4ft ledge into a river...100% under water....

    First thing he says after I get up is..."Dude, your seat's crooked."

    2006 Kona Leroi


    Quote Originally Posted by azonicrider188a
    well just get your asses some juicy 7s and huck down a mountain. thoose v brakes will snap like my butt

  3. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by jugdish
    "Holy Jebus, take off those Ryder sunglasses! They aren't designed to take direct facial impacts!!"- local sue happy rider.
    ROFL, wow....that made my night.

  4. #104
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    "If it didn't hurt so bad I'd come up there and kick your ass"

    Said to a friend who was laughing to tears after I broke my collarbone while dirt jumping waaay back in 1993. This was just after he said "you didn't break anything" and I could barely breathe.

    I still ride with that guy and he's still telling everyone how funny I looked flying 15 ft in the air and coming straight down on my front tire.

  5. #105
    pronounced may-duh
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    "You made me pee myself"

    Said by a bum in a Prospect Park, Brooklyn that was watching me and a friend decend this imposible set of log steps on a steep bank. And judging by the gigantic wet spot on the crotch of his pants, he did.

  6. #106
    run, hide, it's a bike!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spine Shank
    From a friend who was relative new to mountain biking, staring up at my buddy gaining his courage to go down a steep section....

    "Dude... that looks steep. Want to send your bike down on a ghost ride just to see how it does?" His seriousness mixed with his niave good suggestion made it so funny.

    [/B]
    know a guy who i've heard would send his bike over a drop - if it seemed to land ok then he would hit it - first try - never bailed.
    **! I'd rather sh!t out Mark Weir than watch him pedal up a hill !**

  7. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by vexhex
    know a guy who i've heard would send his bike over a drop - if it seemed to land ok then he would hit it - first try - never bailed.
    How many dereilleur hangers did he smash up doing that?

  8. #108
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    I had a girlfreind that said " I like it in the rear where there is less pressure"

    HMMMMMMM

  9. #109
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    2 times are a tie

    I was doing a 12 hour, and being 37 enjoy any compliment that doesn't include "for your age". I was riding behind two guys, one in his 40's the other in his 20's. The first guy, in his 40's says to the other guy, she is hot. The other guy says "I didn't see her" So, I pass him and he tells the other guy, oh yeah she is hot! (Just helps a bit when you are married with 2 children and getting older)
    Second one was when I did a 10 hour ride with all male guys. Was told I was one of 3 people who they never saw suffer. Sometimes as a women you need to be "above the guys" in endurance(maybe not ability).
    I don't want to sound like I am " all that" because I am definitely not! Just nice to be appreciated when I am aging

  10. #110
    amar la vida de dos niner
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    Quote Originally Posted by southerngirl
    I don't want to sound like I am " all that" because I am definitely not! Just nice to be appreciated when I am aging
    You go, girl!
    Hey, it's nice to be appreciated at any age! Which might be the gist of this thread...

  11. #111
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    the gist

    Quote Originally Posted by scorpionwoman
    You go, girl!
    Hey, it's nice to be appreciated at any age! Which might be the gist of this thread...
    I started this thread because I really enjoy mountain biking---and to get feedback on the trail from others in the same state of mind is enjoyable times two. There's lots of crap going down in the world today, but when you have the rubber side down and others are giving you thumbs up and smiles on the trail...you gotta love it.
    Last edited by xcguy; 07-15-2006 at 04:39 AM.

  12. #112
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    "That dude must have slammed like 40 dew's!"

    said to me while riding over new born babies cruising down Mt. Tam and 55mph.

  13. #113
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    Coolest thing anyone ever said to me while I was biking was when I first started. I'm out on my road bike and I get a flat tire on a hot afternoon. There's no shade, I'm bummed, and I'm dealing with the patch kit and frame pump. I'm just getting the tire pumped back up when this very fit, very beautiful woman cruises by on her road bike and asks "Are you doing OK?" I say yeah, thanks, and she flashes me a smile and rolls on.

  14. #114
    Brass Nipples!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous
    "I like your little purple man", was once said to me while riding my fixie.
    It is sometimes difficult to stand up and let the guy breathe when riding fixed, but I usually try to at least cover my little purple man with a pair of bike shorts.
    {Principal Skinner} Hmm. Whoever did this is in very deep trouble.
    {Martin} And a sloppy speller too. The preferred spelling of 'wiener' is w - i - e - n - e - r, although 'e - i' is an acceptable ethnic variant.

  15. #115
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    Backhanded compliment

    "Hey, I just hope I'm still able to ride a bike when I'm your age."

    El Chingon to me when I apologized for balking at another of his drops to flat.
    {Principal Skinner} Hmm. Whoever did this is in very deep trouble.
    {Martin} And a sloppy speller too. The preferred spelling of 'wiener' is w - i - e - n - e - r, although 'e - i' is an acceptable ethnic variant.

  16. #116
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    Well, I was at the LBS where I am the king of broken parts, and I was holding my rear wheel in my hand and there was some schmo in the shop looking around at trek "hybrids", my rear wheel has a Maxxis Holy Roller running about 90 p.s.i. and the guy is like "Wow that thing is huge, where around(this is downtown in Lake Worth, Florida, not know for urban mountain biking) here can you ride that hard?", I thought for a second, and right next to my LBS is a post office with an 8 stair, and I said " You know the post office? I ride down those stair all the time." While bombing an 8 stair isn't all that impressive the guys look on his face was like "WTF?!?", and so that's my story.

  17. #117
    the unvarnished nonsense
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous
    Glocks are for people, who own guns to be cool.
    I respectfully disagree. Glocks are for people that want a handgun that will always perform as expected. They're simply the best. There's a Glock, and then there's everything else. My HK's smoother in the trigger, but I've had it jam. My Glocks have never, under any circumstance, jammed. Granted, in the middle of the night, if I have a choice, I'm grabbing the 12 gauge, but if I have one choice for a pistol, its a Glock.

    We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread....

    BTW, I'm a BIG fan of Mr. Horse!
    "Sufficient to have stood, yet free to fall."
    -John Milton, Paradise Lost

  18. #118
    I wear two thongs
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    On a guided ride once I hit a rather deep unmarked hole flipped over the bars and stood up and exclaimed "There's a hole there!" the guide goes "Yeah we dont tell people about it that way they never end up hitting it"

    Kind of a strange comment

    I was riding at Hunter Mountain and there was a scottish festival going on that day and there was a man riding down the lift in a kilt with his frank and beans hangin out for the world to see. I said "Umm sir just to let you know your balls are hanging out" (I have no shame) He replied "They cant be as big as yours if you ride that thing (points to my bike) down a mountain"
    Hiking is just walking where its okay to pee... Sometimes old people go hiking by accident. -Demetri Martin-

  19. #119
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    Cool-blue Rhythm

    You're haulin' A$$!
    -my regular riding partner, hauling up a hill I'd had major problems with before

    " ...Do you need a checkup from the neckup?!"
    -co-worker, learning I was doing the 40mi livestrong ride

    "You... on that bike, in those shorts? Hot. "
    -one of my biking newbie buddies

    After rigging up my gf's bike to work all proper, I look at our bikes, all locked up before heading into a store and say "Those two look badA$$!"
    She says "Just yours, baby."
    It's all those little ego-boosting affirmations... =)

  20. #120
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    hippies with guitars
    "IF your soul has a seatbelt, strap in. You're about to take a ride on the clouds of freedom. This next song is mindblowin stuff man, BLEEPin mindblowin"

  21. #121
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    "I don't know if it's balls or no brains." said about me while riding a beach cruiser with mtb bars at some BMX dirt jumps.
    HB - The God Damn Flying Dutchman
    Chicago Freeride
    Elgin, IL

  22. #122
    post-ride specialist
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    A favorite parking lot line: "nice rack!"

  23. #123
    Student
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    the 2 best quotes i got 1.me and a friend were zooming down this little down hill section on a trail that is clearly allowed for bikes and as we fly by this hiker he yells " ARE YOU GUYS F#CKING CRAZY? THIS IS A WALKIN TRAIL!!!" and 2. i was riding with my girl friend once and i went to do something (i forget what now)and i ate it so bad, she looks at me and in a caalm and quiet voice says "rick, are you dead?" i have many more but cant think of them this is waht just came to mind.
    The secret to mountain biking is pretty simple. The slower you go the more likely it is you'll crash. ~Julie Furtado

  24. #124
    xtrememaniak
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    The first time I took my girlfriend riding (now wife) we were coming back to the truck. She got there first and I came in holding the front brakes hard to slide on the front tire. Her only comment was "showoff"
    Mind you that I had tried that little trick countless times and that was the first time I nailed it.

  25. #125
    RCC
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    there has been a few,but two come to my mind right now.
    we were gearing up to hit another down hill run at south mountaing park in arizona when two hikers were just coming out the trail and the woman said"you guy are doing that on bikes,you guys are tought"that was pretty cool.
    another time i'm comuting into work on my fs bike cus my commute bike had a flat,i'm riding alog minding my own thing,and out no where this guy driving a old p.o.s. chevy truck tells at me as he passes me"why don't you buy a car you poor bastard?" i had no choice but to smile and blow a kiss to him.if he only knew that my bike cost more than that p.o.s. he was driving...and that i had two nice trucks parked at my driveway...what a looser.
    I heard the mission bell
    And i was thinking to my self
    This could be heaven or this could be hell...

  26. #126
    - factotum -
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    In an orienteering race someone asked: "Have you seen Steve?"
    Now this isn't funny since it was a team race. Actually he was joking as I learned later on: Lot's of people started asking each other about the whereabouts of "Steve". I joined that asking community. Nobody found "Steve". But it turned out that the winner of that race was called Steve. So where is the sense in that?

  27. #127
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    Try not to kill yourself

    From an older hiker as I rode by and said "good morning". What is really great about that is I usually get yelled at from hikers.
    -Beet

  28. #128
    Loser
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    "You're on a hardtail?"

    About 5 years ago I was riding solo and caught up to these three guys on a rock infested downhill. We all flew down the hill, I was stuck on the wheel of the guy in front of me like fly to flypaper. We get to the bottom and I see that they are all riding full suspension rigs and they notice that I was hanging with them on my hardtail, the guy at the back says, "You're on a hardtail?"

    Made my day for sure.

    John

  29. #129
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    You rode down that, on that? Said to me at Wilmot Mountain in WI by someone in a group in full squishy rigs after I bombed down the hill as fast as possible on my completely rigid Dyno Moto-7 seven with only a rear brake.
    HB - The God Damn Flying Dutchman
    Chicago Freeride
    Elgin, IL

  30. #130
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anonymous
    Glocks are for people, who own guns to be cool.


    I'll put my Glock up against any other pistol you want to bring to shooting range and we will see how quick you change you mind on Glocks after plinking a few rounds.

  31. #131
    Since Nineteen Forgotten
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    Riding with my buddies to the trailhead, we passed an overweight $5 dollar crack whore.. She yells out, "Hey do fries go with those shake!"

    After that we all agreed to do more long rides.. and ditch the lycras.
    "No, it's not Ron Jeremy in tight Lycra Shorts"....

  32. #132
    Silence! I kill you!
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    DUDE! That was awsome! You were flying like superman until you hit that tree!

    I believe it was JRM that said that to me after I went OTB and flew parallel to the ground until I hit a tree.
    My photography website:
    Scott Mosher Photography

  33. #133
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    Let me preface this by saying that I'm not a great technical rider, and am a bit more cautious at 55 than when I was 35. But I ride when I can and enjoy it. I was out one day on a trail with some roots and such (large roots!), and came across a man and his young daughter (maybe 6-7) walking along the trail. They moved to the left (on the smooth part of the trail), leaving the right side (with some large roots) as the way around. I was carrying a bit of speed, so figured it would be no problem. Hit the roots, front lifted enough that after hitting the first root, it kind of "floated" over the rest of the section, and the back rode right over them. I heard the little girl let out a WOW!, as I went past. Made my day--I'm not a great rider, but may have appeared as one when I cleared that section.

  34. #134
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    Was a spectator at the Nationals at Mt. Snow, VT many yrs ago (ca. 95-96). I was riding an old Paramount MTB (non waterford) and a fellow spectator comes up to me and says, 'hey I used to ride one of those frames."

    "Really", I replied. "Why'd you replace it?"

    "cuz it was a piece of sh1t."

    I still liked that bike, but in retrospect the number of them that broke may lead one to belive that they were in fact a POS

  35. #135
    Just hit it with speed
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    First Race This Past Weekend

    "3...2...1...go!"

  36. #136
    Caboose!
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    Years ago in Arizona...

    "Follow me..." Ned Overend
    Somewhere on The National Trail, South Mountain Park AZ

    ...as if I could!
    Aloooooooooooooha!
    Fat Jeff
    Honolulu, Hawaii

    Got a PBS mind in an MTV world-Jimmy Buffett

  37. #137
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    The nicest things people ever said to me were on the road, and were related to the advocacy message on my clothing. A driver saw the Oil-Free and Happy design, and said, "I really appreciate what you're trying to do".

    A couple of road cyclists passed me, and laughed and made some nice comments about the "Powered by Sweat" T-Shirt I was wearing - "I like the T-Shirt" and "Cool design".
    Jim
    "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction." Einstein
    http://home.comcast.net/~oil_free_and_happy/

  38. #138
    I wear two thongs
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    I just got done adjusting my rear der. (cable stretch) so i took it out in the trails behind my house, keep in mind they are really easy singletrack and theres only about half a mile of trail (there used to be a solid 7-8 miles of trail but a new development ruined that) but its a good spot to test the bike to make sure its working properly before I take it on a real ride. There were 3 kids (maybey 13-14 yrs old) on BMX bikes testing out a small dirt jump they had just built and as I rode past they mad a sarcastic comment along the lines of "Nice Helmet" except they dropped a couple of words in there about a bundle of sticks. I just smiled at them rode past looped around and was coming back as I watched an un helmeted kid go nose first into the backside of the jump. My reply was "Are you alright?" He got up replied he was okay and I then said "Wanna borrow my helmet?" and rode off it was like instant Kharma and was oh so satisfying.
    Hiking is just walking where its okay to pee... Sometimes old people go hiking by accident. -Demetri Martin-

  39. #139
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    While climbing Mission Peak:
    Hiker: Awesome!
    Me: ... Thanks...
    Hiker (again): Awesome!

  40. #140
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    I was on a ride with a bunch of people I didnt know at Demo in santa cruze at the top of saw pit. and I was on my stumpy hard tail, all the other guys has some kind of FS.

    Guy behind me: How are you on the down hills ?
    me: no Idea, I have never been here before.
    guys behind me: Ill yell at you If I need to pass.
    me: no problem, that or rub my tire.

    at the bottem everyone held up to regroup and be sure that everyone made it down ok. after I stopped it took another 4 or 5 min for the next guy to roll up.
    he said, "dude after like 3 turns I couldn't see you!"

    that made me feel pretty good.
    Three out of the four voices in my head say, "Go for it!"

    2010 Ventana El Comandante

    08 Kona Unit 2-9

  41. #141
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    Hum.... probably the boyfriend, telling me on one of our rides that I am a great climber and that he has a hard time keeping up... that really was nice to hear, coming from a man that has been eyeball deep in cycling for 30+ years.

  42. #142
    nice marmot.
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    while on a co-ed trip to fruita heading back to our campsite at the end of 18 road while the sun was low on the horizon and everything was gold she says... "you wanna see the inside of my tent?"

  43. #143
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    on a "walking" trail I ride daily I flew past this older lady and her husband and since they were both taking up the entire walk way when I zoomed by I heard her scream ****! and then the husband laughing his ass off.

  44. #144
    pronounced may-duh
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    Quote Originally Posted by jb8483
    on a "walking" trail I ride daily I flew past this older lady and her husband and since they were both taking up the entire walk way when I zoomed by I heard her scream ****! and then the husband laughing his ass off.

    That doesn't really go down as "cool" in my book.

  45. #145
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jb8483
    on a "walking" trail I ride daily I flew past this older lady and her husband and since they were both taking up the entire walk way when I zoomed by I heard her scream ****! and then the husband laughing his ass off.


    That doesn't really go down as "cool" in my book.
    Correct thats not cool at all.....


    thats frikin awsome!!!!

    if you do something that is fun and legal that can just by the nature of the activity scare the crap out of little kids and old people; you know you have a worth while hobby.
    Three out of the four voices in my head say, "Go for it!"

    2010 Ventana El Comandante

    08 Kona Unit 2-9

  46. #146
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    My first time on a trail with my riding buddy he says
    "oh yea, this is a walking trail, we aren't suppose to be on here. If they catch us it's a 100 dollar fine"

  47. #147
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    was climbing a paved road to get to the trail head and just happened to be wearing a yellow jersey. i passed by a father with his 2 kids and the dad said something like "look kids it's Lance Armstrong"

    my reply was "Actually, it's Lance Honer but thanks for the compliment."

  48. #148
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    By a local pro - "That was the fastest I have ever seen anyone take this trail before"

    yay for me

    Wathan trail in Horsetooth Mountain Park - Fort Collins, CO

  49. #149
    ss poser
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    Quote Originally Posted by davis
    I respectfully disagree. Glocks are for people that want a handgun that will always perform as expected. They're simply the best. There's a Glock, and then there's everything else. My HK's smoother in the trigger, but I've had it jam. My Glocks have never, under any circumstance, jammed. Granted, in the middle of the night, if I have a choice, I'm grabbing the 12 gauge, but if I have one choice for a pistol, its a Glock.

    We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread....

    BTW, I'm a BIG fan of Mr. Horse!

    my glock jams... still like it, though
    can i get some pixie dust w/my gu, please?

  50. #150
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    When I was in college our frat house sat on top of a hill and there was a walkway that was paved and flowing long down to a tabletop made of blacktop to go over railroad tracks. I'd always take it pretty fast on my junk Target FS beaster bike just to see how much air I could get (never thought I got that much). On one day on the way to class I go bombing down the trail and I see a girl coming up going the other way, walking. It was too late to try to slow down and she was on the other side but she was talking on her cell phone, I thought I'd just hit it and she'd be fine. I hit the jump and land ok, I hear her scream back at me "you A**hole, you almost jumped over me!" She was pretty short but it still made my day.

  51. #151
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    My ruger 10/22 will jam some times too.... after i run 500+ rounds. But when I clean it It never fails.
    try cleaning your gun, a dirty gun will fail. some guns can run 500 rounds before getting failing, some can only run 40 or 50, maybe less. If it jams when its clean, get better ammo, if it jams with good ammo, you need a new gun. Why would you like a gun that continuosly jams? thats like saying you like your bike even if the wheels fall off some times.

    whats the tread about again? why are we talking about guns?
    Three out of the four voices in my head say, "Go for it!"

    2010 Ventana El Comandante

    08 Kona Unit 2-9

  52. #152
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    Not so much cool as funny:
    Back when we'd just gotten out of highschool & therefore had no money & were riding crappy bikes I was riding Bromont with a couple of friends. As we approached a steep uphill section from a fairly fast flat section (the kind of thing where you have to shift down from the big ring/small cog to middle or granny & one of the bigger cogs all at once) My friend said loudly "Gears, don't fail me now!" just before grabbing a couple of fists full of Gripshift which was quickly followed by a lound "CHUNK" sound as his chain came off both the cassette & the chainrings.
    That was probably about ten years ago but we still use the phrase every once in a while as a sort of inside joke. I guess that's cool!

  53. #153
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    Quote Originally Posted by Surestick Malone
    Not so much cool as funny:
    Back when we'd just gotten out of highschool & therefore had no money & were riding crappy bikes I was riding Bromont with a couple of friends. As we approached a steep uphill section from a fairly fast flat section (the kind of thing where you have to shift down from the big ring/small cog to middle or granny & one of the bigger cogs all at once) My friend said loudly "Gears, don't fail me now!" just before grabbing a couple of fists full of Gripshift which was quickly followed by a lound "CHUNK" sound as his chain came off both the cassette & the chainrings.
    That was probably about ten years ago but we still use the phrase every once in a while as a sort of inside joke. I guess that's cool!
    That's a pretty good one.

    Ya gotta love cheap bikes.

  54. #154
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    topic?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wedgy
    My ruger 10/22 will jam some times too.... after i run 500+ rounds. But when I clean it It never fails.
    try cleaning your gun, a dirty gun will fail. some guns can run 500 rounds before getting failing, some can only run 40 or 50, maybe less. If it jams when its clean, get better ammo, if it jams with good ammo, you need a new gun. Why would you like a gun that continuosly jams? thats like saying you like your bike even if the wheels fall off some times.

    whats the tread about again? why are we talking about guns?
    Why, it seems as if some of you think the topic of this thread is "coolest gun stories". Go ahead, post away! It's for sure all mtn. bikers own guns so I know we're all interested in cool gun stories.

  55. #155
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    ex's

    My ex wife used to shout from behind "Is that all ya got?". Maybe one of the reasons she left was she couldn't keep up with me anymore. I was always out of earshot. Heck, I'm only ten years older. She shoulda picked on somebody her own age.

    I hope you're loving Kentucky darling. The new trails here are awesome. Don't bother though, you'd hate them.

    Check's in the mail.

    Tim

  56. #156
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    When i first started riding (back when there just werent many trails around here), i took my brother out for a ride, about 3 hours in, he asks "is this a trail?".... five years later, right before Bike magazine did a write up on Downieville (california), i took my brother up there, i heard him yell from behind me on Butcher Ranch... "NOW THIS IS A TRAIL!"
    WARNING: Riding with improperly adjusted brakes or bake pads is dangerous and can result in serious injury or death.

  57. #157
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    haha, well i thought this was pretty funny... idk about cool but hey.

    well, i'm a skinny 17 year old guy with really long hair and i was riding some XC the other day and some faster guys were coming up on me and all the sudden i hear "d*mn, this chick is really freaking fast" followed by "you dumba** that isn't a girl... look at HIS legs" and then the other replied back "oh god, i feel dumber then a box of rocks." then the other guy says "well, after making yourslef look dumb you better prove you are a faster rider" so they took off after i let them pass, but i was able to hang with them the rest of the lap, but i was working really hard and after we dropped back in for another loop i was only able to stay with em for another 2 miles till i slowed down before blowing up. i thought it was funny cause even though he thought i was a chick he did say i was "really freaking fast" which was a nice thing to say... if i look past the chick part lol

  58. #158
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    "meow"-to random people/motorist as we ride past

    or may absolute favorite "hey there cutie" to a 400 pound woman.

  59. #159
    Shut Up, Legs!
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    It started out with this smoker blocking the trail. "Nice shorts!" he smerks to me. I get clear off him, far enough that he can't catch me running and say, "I get that all the time. I don't go that way, man. I'm married with 2 kids!" And off I start, barely able to pedal since I'm laughing my brains out.
    A tough day on the trails still beats a good day at work...

  60. #160
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    homosexual phenomenon

    Me and some of my friends were riding some street, and we were in the middle of one of the slums in my town, as we pass this one house this one black dude (who is an extremely limp wristed fan of elton john) waves at us and nicely says, "hi boys(in a horribly gay tone)", at first we all just shock it off except for the fact that right after he said that this butch looking chick with a mohawk was just getting off her motorcycle screams, "sut-up you f**king ******" she then said to us, "never mind the gay boy". this whole little schpiel maby went of for 5 seconds, and we were laughing so hard one of us fall our our bike and several other fogot to check for traffic as we went through a busy intersection.

    not only are girls attracted to ss bikes, butso are homos, lol

  61. #161
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    Tough climb, huh!

    Quote Originally Posted by xcguy
    I keep my greetings on the trail simple--big smile, maybe howdy, maybe whassup. One ride I saw a guy seemingly struggling uphill. I shouted out, "beautiful day!" He smiled broadly and replied "Every day!". A good recipe for a positive outlook on life.
    I am 33, so I am spinning on my all mountain bike and a 50yr old passes me on the climb with a trek top fuel and says tough clim huh! Since then I have lost 10 pounds - 195 to 185.
    Sit and spin my ass...

  62. #162
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    scared the sh!t out of a kid but...

    I didn't mean to! There's a fire road climb near Julian, Ca. to the top of Mt. Cuyamaca. For a Colorado kid to climb from 4000 ft to 7000 ft in a few miles was a life-saving experience while I was living in San Diego. Anyway, I was coming back down when I came up on a Ma and Pa and son. I slowed way down and went way around to the left. The son just about jumped out of his skin to the right--yow! he was gone from sight! I knew I'd cleared them all by 3 ft minimundo so WTF? The Pa, holding his shaking son, said "he thought you were a bear."
    I nodded, kept riding, then laughed all the way to my truck. There were no bears around for it to have been a bear, but a guy on a bike was enough to shock the son. Sorry, kid.

  63. #163
    Why aren't you riding????
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    Me and a buddy drop into some ranch after 3 hours of backcountry riding and Who i assume is the owner flies up in his truck and ask us where the hell we came from. My buddy and I both turn around and point at the mountain and this guy says "BU!!SH!T, the only way you two could have gotten up there is by helicopter".....we both laughed, asked where the gate was and rode off smiling.

  64. #164
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    From some punks on the way to a trailhead...

    "Whoa! Look out for Neal Armstrong" We still laugh about it, and quote it on nearly every ride.

    That's me: astronaut, 7 time TDF winner, mountain biker.

  65. #165
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    "you boys better move on, drunks have been known to come round that corner and take people out"...from an old gnarly lookin dude while we were posting a directions to a race across from a bar in an ozark town...as if we were planning on hanging out or something.

  66. #166
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    Couple good one,

    First while standing behind the service counter of the shop I worked at in Indiana, old farmer dude moseys up, thumbs hanging on his suspenders "Y'all do rieemm jobs?" I couldn't keep it together for that one.

    Riding Porucpine Rim in Moab our buddy falls and breaks his elbow, we thought it was just a sprain at the time. Anyway, this dude stops to see if we are ok, he starts checking out our friend's arm, finally we ask, are you a doctor? "No but I did stay at a holiday in express last night." Later he told us he was a physical therapist, but it made the 6 hour hike out more enjoyable some how

    This past sunday, I was out on my Surly Cross check and got a flat, I'm chilling in the shade and taking my time fixing it when two roadies slow and ask if I'm ok, I say yeah I'm fine but thans for asking, then as they ride away I here them say in a non-mocking tone, "He's on a surly he's gotta know what he is doing"

    Non biking one: Me and a buddy are walking up a hill with our longboards, some kids sitting on the curb, one goes "is that a skateboard?"
    Me: "Uh yeah"
    Kid (With attitude): "What are you going to do with it?"
    I just shook my head.

    A good line I learned from a boarding forum for when punk ass short boarders ask "Can you do any tricks?"
    response: "Here's a trick, I ****ed your mom last night."

    Can be applied to punk ass kids on bikes ass well

  67. #167
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    "I do."

    Serious. Met her on a trail. Proposed on the trail years later. We're still on the trail today.
    The sketchier you are, the better you'll look in artists' renderings.

  68. #168
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    Quote Originally Posted by DashRipRock
    "I do."

    Serious. Met her on a trail. Proposed on the trail years later. We're still on the trail today.
    We have a winner!!!

  69. #169
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hardtails Are Better
    We have a winner!!!
    I was thinking that myself. Sure humourous stories are cool, but that is really special.
    When under pressure, your level of performance will sink to your level of preparation.

  70. #170
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    while riding with the head of the French drug testers

    he turned to me and said, "I admit it. Us French can't stand the fact that the Americans have won the last 8 Tour de France bike races. By claiming they were juiced we at least can mess up their reputations for awhile till they expensively prove their innocence, if not get them banned from racing! I admit it, the testers are the ones cheating!" How cool of him to say this to me!
    Last edited by xcguy; 07-28-2006 at 10:22 AM.

  71. #171
    Steep Hill
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    COOLEST THING SAID: After nearly a 25 mile run on the Mid-Mountain trail in Park City, UT when combined with the weather, wildlife, and trail conditions had the making of a religious experience: "Unbelievable!"

    UNCOOLEST THING SAID: After a crash that broke my clavical, scapula and tore my rotator cuff, a trail hogging housewife in a $500 jogging suit ran up to me on the ground and said "THAT'S NOT A GOOD WAY TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING." before continuing on her merry way without even a concern if I was hurt. We were the only two in the desert.
    ** Obey gravity. It's the law. **

  72. #172
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    "whoa - nice air time" from a couple of kids and a bud of mine after flying down a 30 ft hill to hit a sweet little hill for a good 5-8 ft jump. Never thought I'd catch it like I did, but it sure felt great afterwards.

  73. #173
    I like to ride my bike.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jugdish
    Hottie: Nice S.A.S.S.!

    Me: You like my SASS? You should see my Unit!!
    You made that up...but, very funny indeed.
    I like bicycles. Bicycles make me happy. Riding them makes me even happier.
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  74. #174
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    He's riding out here on a single speed!

    When I heard that I suddenly had plenty of energy for another lap.

    I may not ride very fast but I'm 2-old-2-go-slow.

  75. #175
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    The funny thing I heard on the trail was ...

    "Dude, lost dog(on the trail)." And we continued to move towards it about twenty feet until ...
    "F#*$ it's a bear!!!"
    The bear was not facing us and in a crouching position. But after it heard us and looked at us then we found it that was no dog. We were so lucky we were going up hill. I have never gone down a hill that fast.

  76. #176
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    Seeing that was worth....

    "Seeing that was worth climbing up the mountain and standing here for 30 minutes in the pouring rain...."

    This was said to me after I had a spectacular crash during Downhill practice at the Whitetail resort in PA. It completely poured rain all day, and practice and racing completely sucked. There was this 3 foot drop followed by a right turn. I went off the drop and when I landed my right hand slipped off the bars. I tried to grab the bar while using the front brake to try to slow down and make the turn. I realized I was headed for two trees. At that moment I knew even if I grabbed the bars I wouldn't be able to make the turn and avoid the trees. So I aimed right in between them, at this point my rear wheel was in the air from too much front brake. Well the bike wouldn't fit between the trees and the bike hit and I flew off like superman, I did a tuck and roll in mid air and landed on my back about 15 feet down from the trees and popped right up on my feet. I looked and my bike was hanging from the trees, and there were two spectators who were watching that drop and that was when one of them said it.

    Man that was a great crash. Oh and yeah I had full body armor so I didn't get hurt. Only damage to the bike was a bent brake lever blade.

  77. #177
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    Riding yesterday I came across a dude going the opposite direction and when we both slowed down to pass he said, "Happy squeeze!" I thought that was funny and cool. I hate it when people aren't really friendly on the trail.

    Years ago in Savannah, GA on an island, it was about midnight and I just had to go ride after I got out of studio (college). I went by my self and this was the first night ride I'd ever done. The whole time I kept hearing noises in the woods. It was freaking me out a little since I had both my lights on my bars. If I went down, I wouldn't see sh*t. Anyway, I'm about 1/2" mile from the parking lot and I see these little white things running down the trail in front of me. I come up on them and see that they are baby wild pigs. I'm like uh-oh, momma's got to be around here. So I weave through them and one runs under my front wheel and squeals, "damn b*tch!" in pig speak. Now, I pulled up on the bars and the little bugger is more scared than hurt and I know moma boars is not liking this.

    I haven't sprinted that fast ever. Talk about ruining my feel good buzz.

  78. #178
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    At a 24 hour race

    With my bar light failing one of the course workers at a check point said " Hurry home little boy". The way it was said and the genuine concern in her voice at 2:30 AM made me feel good. Luckily my helmet mount gave me enough light to finish the lap.

  79. #179
    a.k.a. MTBMaven
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    "No go ahead. I want to see you ride that...I'm having a hard time walking it."
    I thought of that while riding my bicycle. ~ Albert Einstein on the theory of relativity

  80. #180
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    Good, then I don't have to shoot you.

    Told to me recently in Downieville after riding up Saddleback lookout road on my way to the Empire trail.
    Clamper/claimer thought I was scoping out his new compresser he was using on his claim.
    After I told him I was just on bike ride, he pulls out a pistol and says, "Good then I won't have ta shoot you".
    Luckily I wasnt injured. http://forums.mtbr.com/images/smilies/out.gif
    Banned for showing Boobies.

  81. #181
    Shreddin the Cul de Sac
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    conversation with a dirt biker

    Just this weekend I had a conversation with a guy on an enduro motorcycle. He was riding out of the sportsmans club that lies adjacent to the state park where I was riding. He was riding in the state park (illegal), but mtbers (myself included) frequently ride on the nice swoopy pine grove trial that cuts across the sportsmans club (also illegal - clearly marked no bikes).

    He mentioned how some cranky hunter complained that some mtbers spooked his deer and insisted the sign go up. I commented on how the mtb association came out and put signs up, effectively taking over all the trails cut by dirt bikers 15 years earlier, and referring to any other trail in the woods not blessed by the the mtb club as an illegal, rogue trail.

    We pretty much agreed that it's too bad there is so much politics involved in getting out in the woods, and that common sense and being respectful of others goes a long way.

    Then we struck out our separate ways.

    Over and out.
    keep moving

  82. #182
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    'scuse me!

    Sorry, double post.
    Last edited by xcguy; 08-04-2006 at 06:19 PM.

  83. #183
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    'scuse me!

    So I'm grinding up a steep uphill. Not too gnarly but steep and endless. I get the urge to...how to say this in polite company?...pass gas. I figure it's now or never. Wouldn't you know it, the second I rip a big loud one someone had crept up to pass me. As he went around me to my left (through my cloud, I'm guessing) I'm all apologetic. "Dude, I never heard you coming. So sorry!" He says, "no problem, you got me on the exhale!".
    Last edited by xcguy; 08-04-2006 at 06:20 PM.

  84. #184
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    Group ride with a total newb who was having a hard time figuring out what gear to be in. We stop for a rest, and he checks out the ride leaders 5" travel FS bike. Then he checks out mine.

    Newb: "How many gears does that bike have?'

    Me: "Just one."

    Newb: "That sounds simple."

    Check out some of our local hills: CDRC (Capital District Road Climbs)

  85. #185
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    Mine

    "Yes, we'll wait up for you"
    'If Wal-Mart sold parachutes, who would jump?' Frank Havnoonian (quoting his father) Drexel Hill Cyclery

  86. #186
    Portland, OR
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    "Holy F****** S*** !" along with "ohh my F****** god !" along with "Jeesus !" came from a huge group of BMXers as I aired like 10 feet out of this one hip at the WL skatepark. then when I stopped near them "I've never seen anyone do that on a mountain bike, not in my whole life !"
    Ibex bikes

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  87. #187
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    Nice avatar

    oldskoolbiker
    Your fear of looking stupid is holding you back.

  88. #188
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    that would be "wooooooooo!!!!!!" (they were in a jeep sticking their hands out doing that.

  89. #189
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    Rounding a corner in a race today, as I was rounding a corner, an attractive marshall caught my eye. I took the turn a bit wide, and scraped a bush just a tad. The guy behind me says, "I was looking at her too."

  90. #190
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    Coolest or funniest, I am not sure but mine came from a Clark County Officer at about 20MPH as he shouted, "Pull Over" from his passenger side Window. I had blatantly (and Safely) run a red light, however no ticket.

  91. #191
    The former Blue 'Goose
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    Lots of fun ones:

    -on a roadbike review ride I'm sitting at the corner waiting for the light to
    change with geardaddy and scot gore and a convertible full of 16-18 year
    old women are going "wwoooooo!!!' and "hot legs" and even though it
    was great they were all young enough to be our daughters and we were
    all married guys. geez.

    -I'm riding along a road on the way to a trail and a pickup truck stops in
    the opposing lane and the guy sticks his hand out, I'm ready for the
    finger but he gives me a big thumbs up and continues on his way.

    -from a friend who hadn't ridden in a while "GOD, you're an ANIMAL!"

    -from some kids playing ball in a field while I rode by on the road bike:
    "It's Lance Armstrong"...

    -While riding my MTB up north in full MTBR regalia "are you on a racing
    team? You guys train up here?" heh.

  92. #192
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    this thread

    Keep 'em coming, folks. May this be the thread that doesn't die, 'cause we all have heard cool things on the trail and I, for one, want to hear all of them!

  93. #193
    sru
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    "Sorry to slow you guys down"

    Said by a friend of my buddy, when we got back to the cars after we dragged him through 19 km of singletrack, starting with a 5.5 km climb on un-maintained horse trails, on a 12 year old rigid Cannondale. It didn't even have V-brakes.

    This guy hasn't done any riding other than pulling his daughter around the neighborhood in his bike trailer. We couldn't believe he didn't kill himself, let alone finish the ride. He had fun, I think we got him hooked.

    Unbelievable.

  94. #194
    I rather be cycling...
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    ... and if we just ...

    "me das tu autografo"....

    a kid asking me to sign his notebook after finishing the Red Bull Down Taxco in Mexico


    sorry for the crappy / huge picture, but i couldnt resize it...

    Languages spoken: bicyclish, spanish and a bit of english
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJy_GDpbRvk

  95. #195
    schipperke momma
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    "I am the pirate king..." sung to music by a guy going down a ziggy section of what I was clibing up. Nice melody, wish I'd heard the rest of it.
    I've defected. Viva la pavement.

  96. #196
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    It was my first ride at Whistler for the season, and....

    On the first chairlift up, we saw a bear roaming around the B-line area. The three of us on the lift simultaneously cried out, "Holy $hit it's a bear!"

    For those of you who've been to Whistler, you'll know that the gondola and the chairlift run next to each other for the most part. Well, while going up, some girl in a gondola going down lifted her shirt for us on the chair, and one of the guys with me said, "God damn, I've just been flashed by a twelve-year old!"

    I had a great day up there . Also planning to go up there tomorrow.

  97. #197
    "Oldfart from Wayback"
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    Not sure it's "cool"

    But I love it when backpackers out on a multi- day trip ask me "How did you get that bike back in here ??" all in the midst of an easy days ride.

  98. #198
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    Heard today:

    Lotsa giggles, heavy breathing, and an "OhmyGawdOhmyGawd!"....

    Seen today:

    One attractive, naked, blond female complete with tramp-stamp, going for broke on a lucky bastid just off the trail, in plain view.
    Bombardier :::: MCM #249

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  99. #199
    I like to ride my bike.
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    Isn't it a great feeling when your thread gets several thousand views? You must be content with 200 replies and 10,000 views...Right?

    The most I ever had was around 4,000.




















    The most I ever had was around 4,000
    -and no, I'm not talking about sprem you pervert....that would really suck though.
    I like bicycles. Bicycles make me happy. Riding them makes me even happier.
    Scott Bicycles
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  100. #200
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    the thread that won't die

    I never knew this thread would last this long. I just haven't been able to get that guy's reply to my greeting (see first post) out of my head for about two years now. I like to think I've always had a positive outlook on life, but seeing him struggling uphill yet blindsiding me with this most ultimate of positive outlooks has stuck with me. Truly, I try now to live by his philosphy--you know, life is how you look at it, every day I'm breathing is a good day, etc etc. I figured you all just had to hear about it.

    Most folks wouldn't really have an outlet for this type of comment, but this thread has allowed fellow mtbrs to post their thoughts. I only encountered this rider for maybe 5 seconds, but it was something. In fact, every time I ride his reply flows through my mind. Who was that guy?

    Cool comments can run from the funny to philisophical to bizarre, but we've all heard them. Somehow, hearing them while riding is that much cooler!

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