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  1. #1
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    Break ups and bikes

    Figured this would be the best forum to post this in. So about a week ago, my long time girlfriend of 4 years decided she was not able to "commit" to me any more and we ended up going our separate ways. Real heart breaker to me as I had been ring shopping a couple weeks prior. Now, a day before this all happened I also purchased my dream bike, a 2013 stumpy fsr 29er. And you know what's funny? That bike has taken all the pain and suffering out of this whole situation!! I've been riding my ass off on the new stump, shattering all of my previous best strava times and having an absolute blast. Seems the bike could not have come at a better time. My point? Not sure. But it just goes to show that for some of us, biking is a lot more than just a "hobby," it's a part of our lives, and in my case it's something that saved me from god knows how much sorrow and sadness, and allowed me to have some sort of happiness in am otherwise painful time. Not sure why I'm even posting this, just wanted to share my story and maybe pass on to others that when you are faced with bad times, your bike could be the outlet you need to get past it all. Anyone else have a similar experience? Or am I just wayyyyy too into my new ride? 😊

  2. #2
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    You sound like you need a hug

    Nah, physical activity is great stress relief! I have worked out many a problem or relationship on a ride or two. You could do worse things, so I don't see the harm in it.

    Bummer about your girl tho, 4 years is a long time. Things might work out or they might not. Better to know now than 5 more years down the line when kids are involved in a divorce, right? Things happen for a reason. Probably mostly for Strava angst

    Ride on, brother!
    2010 Surly Conundrum
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    2013 All City Nature Boy
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  3. #3
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    Yeah sounds familiar. I got divorced a few years ago, but turned to powerlifting instead of biking. I was a skinny guy of about 70kg (for 1.96m that's not a lot), I gained muscle until I was 100kg. Since then I'm happy again with a new girlfriend. I still workout a bit, but not that much, I also lost 10kg again. Now I'm back into biking of course.
    I think it's something you need to process your pain.

  4. #4
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    Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Better to find out now than after you got hitched.

    Biking is a lot healthier than ice cream!

    Now you can find someone who loves biking as much as you do. And for the record, all the biking chicks I know are otherwise awesome people. Good luck and keep riding.

  5. #5
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    Break ups and bikes

    Yah the four years part is probably what gets me the most. I put a lot of time into that girl and it just didn't pan out. She was wayyyyyy out of my league looks wise, but just too many demons and mental issues left over and I just couldn't give any more time to it. Hey, live and learn, right?

  6. #6
    mtbr member
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    Break ups and bikes

    Quote Originally Posted by likeaboss View Post
    Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Better to find out now than after you got hitched.

    Biking is a lot healthier than ice cream!

    Now you can find someone who loves biking as much as you do. And for the record, all the biking chicks I know are otherwise awesome people. Good luck and keep riding.
    I think dodged a bullet describes it best. Thank god this happened now as opposed to a year from now, as I'd imagine we'd be married and facing divorce (bye bye fire department pension). Now it's time to do what I love and spend as much time as humanly possible on my bike. I may even do a race or two just to rekindle that competitive spirit I haven't used since my days of playing ball

  7. #7
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    I am 53 both my oldies died within 5 weeks of each other this year.
    I bought a Camber 29 a few days after Mum died. Last time I rode was 20 plus years. Excercise has always been my therapy. Drinking is for enjoyment.
    Anyway I am Hooked. The Camber was a bit small, but I love it, so kept it and now have a Norco Shinobi. A brawler of a bike. My point, I can't remember, it is Mums birthday and I have had a few drinks. MTb has been that therapy.

  8. #8
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    Break ups and bikes

    Quote Originally Posted by Twimby View Post
    I am 53 both my oldies died within 5 weeks of each other this year.
    I bought a Camber 29 a few days after Mum died. Last time I rode was 20 plus years. Excercise has always been my therapy. Drinking is for enjoyment.
    Anyway I am Hooked. The Camber was a bit small, but I love it, so kept it and now have a Norco Shinobi. A brawler of a bike. My point, I can't remember, it is Mums birthday and I have had a few drinks. MTb has been that therapy.
    Sorry for your loss man that's gotta be tough. Keep on the bike and try and keep the booze to a minimum. I went down that path and always found my drunkest moments were the worst.

  9. #9
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    [QUOTE=Skeeter97;10560756]Sorry for your loss man that's gotta be tough. Keep on the bike and try and keep the booze to a minimum. I went down that path and always found my drunkest moments were the worst.[/QUOTE

    Thanks Skeeter drinking has never been a problem. Jumps, skinnies, cornering, berms and staying on my bike is the problem. A whole bunch of old mates, all sufers, have got in to it, first sport we have had, where we don't have to check the weather. A bunch of old frothers.

  10. #10
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    I opened this thinking she kicked you out and your bikes were locked in her garage or something like this, this isn't that serious

  11. #11
    Trail Prospector
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    Quote Originally Posted by wally247 View Post
    I opened this thinking she kicked you out and your bikes were locked in her garage or something like this, this isn't that serious
    Ditto.
    Ride it like ya stole it, and soon she will be a distant dust-covered image.
    Far better to learn it now, before the marriage, cars, house, children & boats.
    Find riding dirt to be a great therapeutic healer, where alcohol just seems to make the situation worse.
    Ride skeeter, ride!
    The best is the one you want to ride most often..

  12. #12
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    Most people turn to self destructive behavior when faced with your situation. You are doing something very healthy and beneficial. and hella fun. Enjoy your new whip.

  13. #13
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    bike rides clear the mind of the clutter. good for you.

  14. #14
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    Went through a similar situation as the OP recently, very unpleasant. Built this as her replacement, it helps!
    Break ups and bikes-jan_jones.jpg

  15. #15
    mtbr member
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    Break ups and bikes

    Quote Originally Posted by wally247 View Post
    I opened this thinking she kicked you out and your bikes were locked in her garage or something like this, this isn't that serious
    Oh man now THAT would have been bad. Luckily the bike is safe and sound with me.

  16. #16
    pin it
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    I think the best relationships are the ones where you and your partner share similar interests and values, you enjoy their company and you have fun doing things together. Get out there and meet new people ... the possibilities are endless.
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by jave-mtr View Post
    Went through a similar situation as the OP recently, very unpleasant. Built this as her replacement, it helps!
    Click image for larger version. 

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    Probably a lot less maintenance too!

  18. #18
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    Break ups and bikes

    I was in the same situation a couple months back. Sold my bike last year and hated life for a while. My girlfriend of 5+ years and I broke up earlier this year and a week later bought another 29r. Been riding a couple times a week and taking my frustrations out. Met a bunch of great people and a couple of really nice girls.

    There's a lot more that meets the eye that connects us all.

  19. #19
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    I'm right there with you. As painful as it may be, you def dodged the bullet. It took me too long to learn that lesson. Sorry man.
    The bike really does provide a path to make things better doesn't it? For me, after getting out of a bad situation and a return to biking, I've never felt better.

  20. #20
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    Sorry to hear it but glad biking is taking the sting out of it.

    Many years ago I was in a relationship and I had been given a used specialized rockhopper as a gift by my ex. I rode it all the time. Sadly, when we broke up she claimed the bike was hers and I was unable to take it with me when I moved out of our house. It took several years before I got back on the trails and invested in a new bike.

  21. #21
    I Tried Them ALL... Moderator
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    Forget the woman...ride the BIKE. All is good. Everything happens for a reason; your planets are in rare alignment.
    "The mind will quit....well before the body does"

  22. #22
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    Break ups and bikes

    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    I think the best relationships are the ones where you and your partner share similar interests and values, you enjoy their company and you have fun doing things together. Get out there and meet new people ... the possibilities are endless.
    Amen to that. Seems like it was more of a constant struggle. I even bought her a mountain bike only to have it collect dust in her garage.

  23. #23
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    Break ups and bikes

    Looks like I'm not alone in using biking as an outlet. Kinda cool to have something like this to turn to. Gotta love the mtbr community. Where else can someone vent to a bunch of strangers and have them help make you feel better?? I know if this was on the bass fishing forum I used to frequent they'd tell me something like she left me because I suck at fishing and stop being such a wuss

  24. #24
    Born With A Tail
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    maybe she dumped you because you ride a full-squish 29'er...a specialized at that...and you strava.
    Tequila tonight, tomorrow we ride!

  25. #25
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    Been there with the break up.
    Only difference was I bought the ring and when she found out she broke up with me.
    Absolutely devastated me.

    I wasn't biking at the time, and I will admit that getting in to mountain biking was partly due to trying to get out and meet more people and hopefully more women too. However, I quickly realized I like biking more than relationships. They get you further, take less work and when they break you can fix them. Not to mention they are more fun and safer (broken bones take less time to heal than a broken heart).

    Not that I am opposed to meeting that special someone but hitting the trails are higher on my priority list right now than being in a relationship. Of course, that could change over night if I meet the right person.
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

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