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  1. #1
    The Fastest of Bananas
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    Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!

    Any Police officers here?

    I was pulled over for rolling though a stop sign here in Colorado.
    Stupid, oh well. No big deal.

    But the MP here on post said I had an Arrest Warrant in Georgia for Assaulting a Police Officer.

    I am from Georgia but the allegation is completely false, when I was stationed in Georgia, I was an MP for crying out loud. I have never committed a crime.

    How do I clear this up without getting locked up for a week before the Police figure out they "got the wrong guy"?

  2. #2
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    Hello???

    Contact people in higher places... the ones you used to work with.

  3. #3
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    Military Police does not = civilian law enforcement. We were a Detainee Operations Unit. I dont have any of my old contacts from Georgia police.

  4. #4
    The Fastest of Bananas
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    I mean, does this kind of thing happen? They said they looked it up by my Drivers license number. I've had that number for 8 years.

  5. #5
    AZ
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    How are you not in custody if you have a warrant outstanding?

  6. #6
    dru
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    How are you posting on the net if you are under arrest? Or do they expect you to surrender? Why didn't the cop who caught you for the stop sign take you to jail?

    Drew
    occasional cyclist

  7. #7
    The Fastest of Bananas
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    Because its a "non extraditable warrant" I live in colorado now.

    They let me go, and told me to look into it. I just dont know how to go about that.

  8. #8
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    Its just bullshit and completely false. I cant get caught up in this bullshit, I'm an important guy at my job. If end up having to go to jail before it gets cleared up, I am sueing the shit out of the state. Believe that.

  9. #9
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    What base you on in Colorado? I got a freind thats an MP on a base in colorado. colorado springs maybe? Not sure which one. But I can call him tomorrow. He's like a boss or something. Been in 15 years or so. PM if you want it to be more private. He's a good dude.

  10. #10
    The Fastest of Bananas
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    Yes. Fort Carson. PM Sent.

  11. #11
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    Ill call him first thing in morning. ( I know he's gaming right now...dont dare mess with his guild war game) PM your # to me in the morning or now or whatever and ill get you two in contact. If its not exradtion warrant....they wont come get you in CO for it....they will try when you come to GA. So you got time. Lawyer is never a bad idea. For the prosecutor to issue a warrant. a complaint was filed. copes responded. Prosecutor says yes...I got a shot at this. So they have something. Judges dont sign warrants willy nilly....usually..lol

    Your gonna be cool. Imma try and help if I can. But I do advise talk to a lawyer. Can you tell your CO?

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    Did they say it was a felony charge?

  13. #13
    Self Appointed Judge&Jury
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    So let me get this straight. A guy with a name like Fast Banana may end up in the slammer. You best get some legal council like ASAP to avoid this. The boys are going to take a liking to you.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  14. #14
    AZ
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    Fast banana, check your PM's.

  15. #15
    The Fastest of Bananas
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    Yes, Felony Assault on an Officer.

    I can take it to my CO. I will go to Legal on post as well to get a lawyer.

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    I just facebooked him for you. PM'd you his facebook so you know im totally legit.

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    Hes got your number now. Ill keep on him till he calls you. Totally cool guy.

  18. #18
    9 lives
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    love your handle FastBanana

    I have no advice just wanted to wish you well

    .
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  19. #19
    The Fastest of Bananas
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highlux View Post
    Hes got your number now. Ill keep on him till he calls you. Totally cool guy.
    Thanks!

  20. #20
    The Fastest of Bananas
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    love your handle FastBanana

    I have no advice just wanted to wish you well

    .
    My handle?

  21. #21
    AZ
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    Quote Originally Posted by FastBanana View Post
    My handle?


    User name.

  22. #22
    007
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    Something similar happened to me oddly, though not quite as significant a crime.

    I have an incredibly common last name, though a not so common first name . . . absurdly random: there is another person with the same first, middle and last name, born on the same friggin' day. I am NOT kidding. Major difference: one of us is black.

    However, this imposter engages in some pretty unscrupulous behavior, which came up when I applied for my professional license and was "denied due to felonious behavior." Anyway, it was pretty easy to clear up the licensing issue . . . but separating his criminal record was far more difficult. I had to go through LexisNexis to do it, as they were the primary repository for personal records.
    Alcohol may lead nowhere, but it sure is the scenic route!

  23. #23
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    Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!

    Wise move. Ask the Internet. I would avoid traveling through Georgia. Maybe you had your identity stolen.

    Good luck, banana.

  24. #24
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    Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!

    Quote Originally Posted by 007 View Post
    Something similar happened to me oddly, though not quite as significant a crime.

    I have an incredibly common last name, though a not so common first name . . . absurdly random: there is another person with the same first, middle and last name, born on the same friggin' day. I am NOT kidding. Major difference: one of us is black.

    However, this imposter engages in some pretty unscrupulous behavior, which came up when I applied for my professional license and was "denied due to felonious behavior." Anyway, it was pretty easy to clear up the licensing issue . . . but separating his criminal record was far more difficult. I had to go through LexisNexis to do it, as they were the primary repository for personal records.
    That's crazy!!! Hell of a coincidence!

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    Quote Originally Posted by 007 View Post
    Something similar happened to me oddly, though not quite as significant a crime.

    I have an incredibly common last name, though a not so common first name . . . absurdly random: there is another person with the same first, middle and last name, born on the same friggin' day. I am NOT kidding. Major difference: one of us is black.

    However, this imposter engages in some pretty unscrupulous behavior, which came up when I applied for my professional license and was "denied due to felonious behavior." Anyway, it was pretty easy to clear up the licensing issue . . . but separating his criminal record was far more difficult. I had to go through LexisNexis to do it, as they were the primary repository for personal records.
    You mean I could have turned you in for a reward???! Darn!

  26. #26
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    Yeah - in the big house - Fast Banana will likely be a popular dance card.
    Don't believe all you've been told, currently the NDR (National Driver Register) is wreaking havoc on many by states hungry to collect revenues from past offenses, whether settled, or not.
    If summoned, one is found guilty until proven innocent, and often the result is to pay an administrative fee (+/-$200).

    From what I gather, there is no date of expiration. One friend had his driving privileges suspended, for a DUI that occurred 27 years ago in another state, yet he HAD to satisfy them to retain his current driving privileges, and prove his innocence.
    To add Insult to injury - he is currently a LEO.

  27. #27
    007
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlonbike View Post
    That's crazy!!! Hell of a coincidence!
    Tell me about it . . . because I now know this person is out there, I have a credit monitoring service that also keeps tabs on my public record. I hate paying for it, but if anything comes up again, they cover the correction expenses and given that chances are good it will come up again, I might as well keep it.
    Alcohol may lead nowhere, but it sure is the scenic route!

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by 007 View Post
    Something similar happened to me oddly, though not quite as significant a crime.

    I have an incredibly common last name, though a not so common first name . . . absurdly random: there is another person with the same first, middle and last name, born on the same friggin' day. I am NOT kidding. Major difference: one of us is black.

    However, this imposter engages in some pretty unscrupulous behavior, which came up when I applied for my professional license and was "denied due to felonious behavior." Anyway, it was pretty easy to clear up the licensing issue . . . but separating his criminal record was far more difficult. I had to go through LexisNexis to do it, as they were the primary repository for personal records.
    Weird, I assumed you were white - damn me and my MTB stereotypes
    Honestly... ahh I give up

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    love your handle FastBanana

    I have no advice just wanted to wish you well
    Lo
    .
    Awe man Cycleicious this would have gone perfect with my above post. I don't know how you come up with some of this stuff. I guess I'm one to talk my handle / user name wouldn't go over so well in prison either.

    Fast Banana sorry about joking on your user name but I couldn't help but see the irony if you ended up in prison. I hope you figure this out and get it straightened up.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  30. #30
    The Boat or The Bike?
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    Quote Originally Posted by highdelll View Post
    Weird, I assumed you were white - damn me and my MTB stereotypes
    I was thinking the same thing!!
    Live to Fish, now Love to Ride

  31. #31
    The Fastest of Bananas
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    I'm sure it will straighten out just fine.

    I know it recently hit the system, as I had a background check come up clear last month. And I haven't been in Georgia in over a year.

    There are a couple people running around with my name. I'll be calling GBI later, and today I am going to go get a military lawyer. I'm pretty pissed at this point.

  32. #32
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    Talk to your CO and then go to JAG and let JAG clear it up for you.
    It probably won't take long. As far as getting arrested, you don't have to worry about it. If you were not arrested on the spot because they can't extradite you, they won't come get you. You would only need to worry about it if you go back to Ga but still get it cleared up ASAP even ig you have no intentions of ever going back.

    Just out of curiosity which base were you at?
    My dad was the CO of the JAG office at both Benning and Hunter AAF.
    Long retired now so he can't really help.
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

  33. #33
    The Fastest of Bananas
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    I'm out at Fort Carson. It just sucks cuz this is gonna take tome out of my day to work with JAG. Sucks. Thanks for the input

    Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk

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    Quote Originally Posted by FastBanana View Post
    I'm out at Fort Carson. It just sucks cuz this is gonna take tome out of my day to work with JAG. Sucks. Thanks for the input

    Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk
    Seems to me it's time worth spending to clear your name, if that indeed is your name, Fastbanana. How many Fastbananas can there be? Hmmm....
    Stick around if you're housebroken...

  35. #35
    That makes me smart
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    Easy. Ride your bike.

    A really, really long ways away.
    "I can almost smell the alcohol oozing from that post."

    mtnbkrmike

    A global map of winds. Pretty cool.

  36. #36
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    law advice on mtbr. who knew?

  37. #37
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    From one fast banana to another be sure to take all advicei given n the O.C. as word. And if you are sentenced to the big house be sure to change your name. Something like Buck would work.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  38. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by 007 View Post
    Something similar happened to me oddly, though not quite as significant a crime.

    I have an incredibly common last name, though a not so common first name . . . absurdly random: there is another person with the same first, middle and last name, born on the same friggin' day. I am NOT kidding. Major difference: one of us is black.

    However, this imposter engages in some pretty unscrupulous behavior, which came up when I applied for my professional license and was "denied due to felonious behavior." Anyway, it was pretty easy to clear up the licensing issue . . . but separating his criminal record was far more difficult. I had to go through LexisNexis to do it, as they were the primary repository for personal records.
    Obvious which one is black, the only other 007s I know are definitely white... The name is pretty common, I know at least 8...
    List Of All James Bond Actors - Page 8 of 8
    It's all Here. Now.

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockerc View Post
    Obvious which one is black, the only other 007s I know are definitely white... The name is pretty common, I know at least 8...
    List Of All James Bond Actors - Page 8 of 8
    Well it's quite obvious 007 is a spy. How do we know that our 007 isn't the impostor. Because he said so. Scary thought knowing he's been amongst us all this time.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by FastBanana View Post
    I'm out at Fort Carson.
    No, where WERE you at? As in Georgia.

    Anyways, it shouldn't take too long at JAG.
    Call them up, set the appointment and go. It shouldn't be during your personal time anyways. Most of JAG works during normal business hours.
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

  41. #41
    The Fastest of Bananas
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    Business hours is what gets me. I was in Dahlonega

    Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk

  42. #42
    gobsmacked Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by b-kul View Post
    law advice on mtbr. who knew?
    Ya, it's gotta be good, right?

    DJ, Buck is a fantastic prison name. I dig it. OOO! How about Dirk Diggler?

  43. #43
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    Better prison names for Fast Banana...

    Buck
    Butch
    Dirt Diggler
    Slider
    Slick
    Slam
    Potato
    Cranky
    Mounds Bar
    Tootsie Roll
    Soap Smuggler
    Scrappy

    Did I miss any........


    Fast Banana if you do get sent to the Big House here is a list of 50 slang words and their definitions to make you sound tougher than you really are.
    1. All Day: A life sentence, as in “I’m doin' all day.”

    2. All Day and a Night: Life without parole.

    3. Back door parole: To die in prison.

    4. Beef: 1. A criminal charge, as in “I caught a burglary beef in Philly.” 2. A problem with another convict, as in “I have a beef with that guy in Block D.”

    5. Brake fluid: Psychiatric meds.

    6. Bug: A prison staff member considered untrustworthy or unreliable.

    7. Bug juice: Intoxicants or depressant drugs.

    8. Buck Rogers Time: (early to mid 20th century) A parole or release date so far away that it's difficult to imagine.

    9. Bum Beef: A false accusation/charge or wrongful conviction.

    10. Cadillac: An inmate’s bunk. Also, Cadillac Job, an easy or enjoyable inmate work assignment.

    11. Catch a ride: A request to a friend to get you high.

    12. Cell Warrior: An inmate that puts on a tough front or runs their mouth when locked in their cell, but is submissive or cowardly when interacting with other prisoners in the open.

    13. Chin Check: To punch another inmate in the jaw to see if he'll fight back.

    14. Cowboy: A new correctional officer. Cowboy spelled backwards, is yobwoc, or a “young, obnoxious, bastard we often con.”

    15. Dance on the blacktop: To get stabbed.

    16. Diesel Therapy: A lengthy bus trip or transfer to a far away facility, or even an incorrect destination, used as punishment or to get rid of troublesome inmates.

    17. Ding Wing: A prison’s psychiatric unit.

    18. Dipping in the Kool Aid: Attempting to enter a conversation the person has no place in or is not welcome in.

    19. Doing the Dutch Or the “Dutch Act,” to commit suicide.

    20. Dry Snitching: To inform on another inmate indirectly by talking loudly about their actions or behaving suspiciously in front of correctional officers; supply general information to officers without naming names.

    21. Duck: A correctional officer who reveals information about other officers or prison staff to inmates.

    22. Fire on the Line: A warning—“correctional officer in the area.”

    23. Ghetto Penthouse: The top tier of a cell block.

    24. Four piece or four-piece suit: A full set of restraints, composed of handcuffs, leg irons and waist chain, and security boxes to cover the restraints’ key holes.

    25. Grandma’s: Or Grandma’s House, a prison gang’s headquarters or meeting place, or the cell of the gang leader.

    26. Heat Wave: The attention brought to a group of inmates by the action of one or a few, as in “Joe and John got caught with contraband, and now the whole tier is going through a heat wave.”

    27. Hold your mud: To resist informing or snitching even under threat of punishment or violence.

    28. I got jigs: To keep look out or watch for officers, as in “I got jigs while you make that shank.”

    29. In the car: In on a deal or a plan.

    30. Jacket: 1. An inmate’s information file or rap sheet. 2. An inmate’s reputation among other prisoners.

    31. Jack Mack: Canned mackerel or other fish available from the prison commissary. Can be used as currency with other inmates or placed in a sock and used as a weapon.

    32. Jackrabbit Parole: To escape from a facility.

    33. Juice Card: An inmate’s influence with guards or other prisoners. “He should have gone to the hole for that, but he’s got a juice card with one of the guards.”

    34. Keister: To hide contraband in one’s rectum. Also known as “taking it to the hoop,” “putting it in the safe”and “packing the rabbit.”

    35. Kite: A contraband letter.

    36. Monkey Mouth: A prisoner who goes on and on about nothing.

    37. Monster: HIV. Also known as “the Ninja.”

    38. Ninja Turtles: Guards dressed in full riot gear. Also known as “hats and bats.”

    39. No Smoke: To follow staff’s orders without resisting or causing any problems, as in “He let the guards search his cell, no smoke.”

    40. On the Bumper: Trying to get “in the car.”

    41. On the River: Time spent at the Louisiana State Penitentiary, which is surrounded on three sides by the Mississippi River. As in, “He did 20 years on the river.”

    42. Peels: The orange jumpsuit uniforms worn by prisoners in some facilities.

    43. Prison Wolf: An inmate who is normally straight on “the outside,” but engages in sexual activity with men while incarcerated.

    44. Rabbit: An inmate who has a history of escape attempts or has plans to try to escape.

    45. Ride with: To do favors for a fellow convict, often including sexual ones, in exchange for protection, contraband, prison currency, or commissary items.

    46. Ride Leg: To be friendly with or suck up to staff in order to get favors.

    47. Road Kill: Cigarette butts picked up from roadsides by prison work crew. They’re brought back to the facility and the collected tobacco is rerolled with toilet paper to smoke.

    48. Stainless Steel Ride: Death by lethal injection.

    49. Three Knee Deep: To stab someone so that they’re injured, but not killed, usually as a warning.

    50. Wolf Tickets: To talk tough or challenge others, without any intent to back it up with action or violence, as in “He’s just selling wolf tickets.”


    Read the full text here: 50 Prison Slang Words To Make You Sound Like a Tough Guy | Mental Floss
    --brought to you by mental_floss!
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!-orange.jpg  

    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  44. #44
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    Don't **** around with Georgia, they are hardcore about prison and punitive penalties.
    I hate to even ask but whats your race, age and all that jazz? If you are a young to middle aged white male you need to get a good lawyer asap. The lawyer will cost you but not as much as the state will hit you for. They will also try to give you some insane prison sentence as well. If you are a black male just stick with any ol' lawyer as they will just give you probation. If you are an illegal immigrant just don't show up. If you are anything else you are gonna be fine. Just be polite and they let you off scott free.

    Good luck!

  45. #45
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    Dude, GA is not that damn bad.
    Besides, he is military and the JAG office will provide a lawyer for him.
    Been in the same shoes as him in GA myself and it was cleared up quite easily.
    And for the record, I am a white male.
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

  46. #46
    The Fastest of Bananas
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    For those who wonder, I am white, 24, Educated, no criminal record, and am a "professional"

    Never got the chance today to go look into this, work was nuts. I think it'll be a friday task.

  47. #47
    Meatbomb
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    I was born a poor black child.

  48. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phillbo View Post
    I was born a poor black child.
    His story here: Down, in the Mississippi... :-P - YouTube
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  49. #49
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    Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!

    Quote Originally Posted by FastBanana View Post
    Never got the chance today to go look into this, work was nuts. I think it'll be a friday task.
    No need to hurry. I'm sure this matter will clear itself up.

  50. #50
    Self Appointed Judge&Jury
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    <<<<<<< That's one fast banana

  51. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by FastBanana View Post
    For those who wonder, I am white, 24, Educated, no criminal record, and am a "professional"

    Never got the chance today to go look into this, work was nuts. I think it'll be a friday task.
    Don't be modest! You are also a very important person at your job.

  52. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    <<<<<<< That's one fast banana
    ha! Riding a fixie with a moustache, eh? You hipsternana.

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    Quote Originally Posted by girlonbike View Post
    ha! Riding a fixie with a moustache, eh? You hipsternana.
    I don't like to brag but I'm doing it all with no hands.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  54. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    I don't like to brag but I'm doing it all with no hands.
    I didn't want to embarrass you in public but you have very small hands....

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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Buck
    Butch
    Dirt Diggler
    Slider
    Slick
    Slam
    Potato
    Cranky
    Mounds Bar
    Tootsie Roll
    Soap Smuggler
    Scrappy

    Did I miss any........


    Fast Banana if you do get sent to the Big House here is a list of 50 slang words and their definitions to make you sound tougher than you really are.
    1. All Day: A life sentence, as in “I’m doin' all day.”

    2. All Day and a Night: Life without parole.

    3. Back door parole: To die in prison.

    4. Beef: 1. A criminal charge, as in “I caught a burglary beef in Philly.” 2. A problem with another convict, as in “I have a beef with that guy in Block D.”

    5. Brake fluid: Psychiatric meds.

    6. Bug: A prison staff member considered untrustworthy or unreliable.

    7. Bug juice: Intoxicants or depressant drugs.

    8. Buck Rogers Time: (early to mid 20th century) A parole or release date so far away that it's difficult to imagine.

    9. Bum Beef: A false accusation/charge or wrongful conviction.

    10. Cadillac: An inmate’s bunk. Also, Cadillac Job, an easy or enjoyable inmate work assignment.

    11. Catch a ride: A request to a friend to get you high.

    12. Cell Warrior: An inmate that puts on a tough front or runs their mouth when locked in their cell, but is submissive or cowardly when interacting with other prisoners in the open.

    13. Chin Check: To punch another inmate in the jaw to see if he'll fight back.

    14. Cowboy: A new correctional officer. Cowboy spelled backwards, is yobwoc, or a “young, obnoxious, bastard we often con.”

    15. Dance on the blacktop: To get stabbed.

    16. Diesel Therapy: A lengthy bus trip or transfer to a far away facility, or even an incorrect destination, used as punishment or to get rid of troublesome inmates.

    17. Ding Wing: A prison’s psychiatric unit.

    18. Dipping in the Kool Aid: Attempting to enter a conversation the person has no place in or is not welcome in.

    19. Doing the Dutch Or the “Dutch Act,” to commit suicide.

    20. Dry Snitching: To inform on another inmate indirectly by talking loudly about their actions or behaving suspiciously in front of correctional officers; supply general information to officers without naming names.

    21. Duck: A correctional officer who reveals information about other officers or prison staff to inmates.

    22. Fire on the Line: A warning—“correctional officer in the area.”

    23. Ghetto Penthouse: The top tier of a cell block.

    24. Four piece or four-piece suit: A full set of restraints, composed of handcuffs, leg irons and waist chain, and security boxes to cover the restraints’ key holes.

    25. Grandma’s: Or Grandma’s House, a prison gang’s headquarters or meeting place, or the cell of the gang leader.

    26. Heat Wave: The attention brought to a group of inmates by the action of one or a few, as in “Joe and John got caught with contraband, and now the whole tier is going through a heat wave.”

    27. Hold your mud: To resist informing or snitching even under threat of punishment or violence.

    28. I got jigs: To keep look out or watch for officers, as in “I got jigs while you make that shank.”

    29. In the car: In on a deal or a plan.

    30. Jacket: 1. An inmate’s information file or rap sheet. 2. An inmate’s reputation among other prisoners.

    31. Jack Mack: Canned mackerel or other fish available from the prison commissary. Can be used as currency with other inmates or placed in a sock and used as a weapon.

    32. Jackrabbit Parole: To escape from a facility.

    33. Juice Card: An inmate’s influence with guards or other prisoners. “He should have gone to the hole for that, but he’s got a juice card with one of the guards.”

    34. Keister: To hide contraband in one’s rectum. Also known as “taking it to the hoop,” “putting it in the safe”and “packing the rabbit.”

    35. Kite: A contraband letter.

    36. Monkey Mouth: A prisoner who goes on and on about nothing.

    37. Monster: HIV. Also known as “the Ninja.”

    38. Ninja Turtles: Guards dressed in full riot gear. Also known as “hats and bats.”

    39. No Smoke: To follow staff’s orders without resisting or causing any problems, as in “He let the guards search his cell, no smoke.”

    40. On the Bumper: Trying to get “in the car.”

    41. On the River: Time spent at the Louisiana State Penitentiary, which is surrounded on three sides by the Mississippi River. As in, “He did 20 years on the river.”

    42. Peels: The orange jumpsuit uniforms worn by prisoners in some facilities.

    43. Prison Wolf: An inmate who is normally straight on “the outside,” but engages in sexual activity with men while incarcerated.

    44. Rabbit: An inmate who has a history of escape attempts or has plans to try to escape.

    45. Ride with: To do favors for a fellow convict, often including sexual ones, in exchange for protection, contraband, prison currency, or commissary items.

    46. Ride Leg: To be friendly with or suck up to staff in order to get favors.

    47. Road Kill: Cigarette butts picked up from roadsides by prison work crew. They’re brought back to the facility and the collected tobacco is rerolled with toilet paper to smoke.

    48. Stainless Steel Ride: Death by lethal injection.

    49. Three Knee Deep: To stab someone so that they’re injured, but not killed, usually as a warning.

    50. Wolf Tickets: To talk tough or challenge others, without any intent to back it up with action or violence, as in “He’s just selling wolf tickets.”


    Read the full text here: 50 Prison Slang Words To Make You Sound Like a Tough Guy | Mental Floss
    --brought to you by mental_floss!
    How the Hell do you know sooooo much about prison life???

  56. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlonbike View Post
    I didn't want to embarrass you in public but you have very small hands....
    Ha,ha yes but a very large banana.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  57. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by trout_smith View Post
    No need to hurry. I'm sure this matter will clear itself up.
    I cant just neglect my job on my busiest day of the well. The weekly report to the Division Commander doesn't write itself.

  58. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Ha,ha yes but a very large banana.
    And I a fast one......wait... damn.

  59. #59
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    My freind ever call ya?

  60. #60
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    Sure didn't. I called GBI today, they couldn't tell me anything. So I need the MP's to look up what county in GA it came from, so I can call that court. I just am not sure if I should call, or have a lawyer from JAG or TDS to call for me.

  61. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phillbo View Post
    I was born a poor black child.
    But the bigger question remains....can you tell the difference between Sh*t and Shinola?

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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Ha,ha yes but a very large banana.
    and curved upward like one, too.

  63. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    and curved upward like one, too.
    Only when I'm riding my bike no handed.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  64. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phillbo View Post
    I was born a poor black child.
    But now you're SOMEBODY!

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    Quote Originally Posted by FastBanana View Post
    Sure didn't. I called GBI today, they couldn't tell me anything. So I need the MP's to look up what county in GA it came from, so I can call that court. I just am not sure if I should call, or have a lawyer from JAG or TDS to call for me.
    Dude, you have a totally FREE lawyer at your disposal and yet you keep coming here and asking for legal advice and then ignoring the suggestions people give you.

    Call JAG dammit and do what they tell you.
    Your job will survive a day without you even on a busy day.

    Of course you are a "very important person at your job" all military people are but guess what they will survive just fine with out you. I doubt the country will crumble under attack if you leave your job.

    Now buck up soldier and quit being such a drama queen.
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

  66. #66
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    When I was 18, I was informed by my auto insurance agent that I had an outstanding warrant for FTA in Long Beach, CA. I had never been ticketed in Long Beach, so I went to the courthouse to check it out. Five years earlier (when I was 13 years old), a ticket was issued to a guy named 'Gary' in a vehicle I had no connection to, and he failed to appear. Somehow (likely a data entry error), that warrant was assigned to my drivers license number.

    Several trips to the the courthouse and a visit with a judge in court finally resulted in me getting a letter to provide to my insurance company and to carry with me in case I was pulled over with the assurance that it would be cleared from the DMV computer within two months. Seven months later I was pulled over and went to jail on that warrant (the officer was impressed, but not moved by the letter). I was only there for about an hour. It took another couple court appearances to finally get it taken care of for good.

    Sounds like you're doing your due diligence to get it taken care of. Good luck.

  67. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by kjlued View Post
    and yet you keep coming here and asking for legal advice and then ignoring the suggestions people give you.
    C'mon kj, you realize that if people are asking for legal advice on a mountain biking forum, they are going to do what they're going to do. Let it go and don't get so sucked in. :P

    In the meantime, we should celebrate the Banana.

  68. #68
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    My banana is getting soft and turning brown and spotty... Is that okay?
    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

  69. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by sodak View Post
    My banana is getting soft and turning brown and spotty... Is that okay?
    Put it in the oven and make bread.

  70. #70
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    This thread is going places

    Sent from my EVO using Tapatalk

  71. #71
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    Hey when you put your brown spotted banana in the oven to make banana bread be sure to add dark chocolate chips in the mix. YUM!
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  72. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Hey when you put your brown spotted banana in the oven to make banana bread be sure to add dark chocolate chips in the mix. YUM!
    and make sure it stays nice and moist inside.
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    There's some strange folk out there 'bouts. They have no sense of humor.
    My Blog

  73. #73
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    Alright... So let me get this straight. I mix some chocolate chips with my soft, brown & spotted banana and stick it in a moist oven? Is that all?
    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

  74. #74
    dru
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    I don't know about the chips, but clearly that oven will firm up that ole banana straight away if you can manage to put it in. That is a problem for some bakers if they are totally drunk.

    As for keeping the oven moist, that is easy with the modern ones. There are often several buttons you can press, some times at the same time.

    Drew
    occasional cyclist

  75. #75
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    Just remember to put your banana in a latex baking dish before you stick it in the moist oven. Too many bad things can happen if you don't. You don't want to get your brown spots all over the oven, and you don't want the oven to get any spots on your banana.

  76. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlonbike View Post
    C'mon kj, you realize that if people are asking for legal advice on a mountain biking forum, they are going to do what they're going to do. Let it go and don't get so sucked in. :P

    In the meantime, we should celebrate the Banana.
    You are so wise

    Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!-mustachebanana_sm.jpg
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

  77. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by kjlued View Post
    You are so wise

    Click image for larger version. 

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    <<<<<<<< Hey grampa I'm over here on my bike riding with no hands.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  78. #78
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    Re: Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!

    any update?

    Sent from my SCH-I605 using Tapatalk 2

  79. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by tapout24 View Post
    any update?

    Sent from my SCH-I605 using Tapatalk 2
    It's looking like he's cooked.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!-baked-bananas.jpg  

    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  80. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    It's looking like he's cooked.
    or he split

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    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    There's some strange folk out there 'bouts. They have no sense of humor.
    My Blog

  81. #81
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    from law advice to sexual induendo to banana puns, mtbr doesnt dissapoint!

  82. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by deke505 View Post
    or he split

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    Or he peeled away and was done with it.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  83. #83
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    He threw all his chips in and lost.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  84. #84
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    was the charges for exposure I wonder

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    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    There's some strange folk out there 'bouts. They have no sense of humor.
    My Blog

  85. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by deke505 View Post
    was the charges for exposure I wonder

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    No but his legal team really slipped up this time.
    <iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/qg9jTIOz-GI?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  86. #86
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    The night before he was due in court he didn't feel very amorous.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!-funny-banana-pictures-fruits-fun-bajiroo-humor-blog-images-photos-20.jpg  

    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  87. #87
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    The wife wanted to out dancing with two other couples, but he wasn't having it.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  88. #88
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    The wife made some wise crack "if it looks like a duck and acts like a duck it must be a duck". Not exactly what he needed at the time.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!-duck.jpg  

    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  89. #89
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    And the family dog wasn't exactly keen on the idea of daddy going to prison either.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!-dog.jpg  

    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  90. #90
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    The pressure was so much he felt like he was on his way to his own funeral.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  91. #91
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    What was Beethoven's favorite fruit?























    BA-NA-NA-NAAAA
    "We LOVE cows! They make trails for us.....

    And then we eat them."

  92. #92
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    Then it dawned on him, this may be his last night of freedom, he had better party it up.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

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    Don't drop the soap in the shower or a banana will get you. Good luck in prison...

  94. #94
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    He ended up at the wrong bar and was verbally assaulted
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    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  95. #95
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    After two years in the slammer his life was no longer fast..

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    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!-funny-bananas-art-scared-parrot.jpg  

    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

  96. #96
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    After being verbally assaulted in the lesbian bar he walked outside only to be confronted by the infamous Mr. Peels. Yes the infamous Mr. Peels the dreaded and well known se x offender in the area.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  97. #97
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    After a brief chase he managed to give Mr. Peels the slip by ducking into the bar around the corner. There to his surprise his old buddy Johnny Dried Chip was playing the banjo.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!-guitar.jpg  

    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  98. #98
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    After all that had happened in the last 24 hours it got to be too much. He contemplated something dreadful in his mind. But luckely he didn't follow through with it. Just a bad image he had stuck in his mind.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!-banana-hanged-suicide-dead-face.jpg  

    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  99. #99
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    So he left the banjo bar and walked down by the ocean. He was just standing and contemplating life when "WHAMMO" a shark came up out of the water and startled him
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Wrongful Arrest Warrant, HELP!-shark.jpg  

    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  100. #100
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    I like Sand - I don't like Witches


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    Last Post: 07-30-2012, 06:30 PM

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