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  1. #1
    All fat, all the time.
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    Why are chicks crazy?

    Sheesh.
    I just don't get it.

    My better half has been stressed at work lately. & seems to be taking it out on me. Every time I go for a bike ride she's pissed at me by the time I get home. Now, biking is my one & only hobby. That's it...I ride my bike in the woods. No bars, clubs, strip joints, pool halls, staying out all night with shady people etc. I just ride my stinkin' bike in the woods.

    I try to find out what is wrong & she says i should pay more attention & I'd know what the problem is.... huh?....wtf I'm a guy...you need to tell me what is wrong...I'm probably not going to figure it out.

    In the past year we've done a couple nice trips, Italy & Mexico, plus we've gone to a couple concerts she really wanted to see. But apparently I'm still doing something wrong so who the f* knows!?....



    We've been married for over 5 years, together for 10, and this is the first time things are like this. I just don't get it.

    I need my bike to show up (on the road, working in Boise for a week) so i can freakin ride.

  2. #2
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    Girls have a heart and guys are heartless. That's the difference between us that we are challenged to overcome. Some may call it "emotion".

  3. #3
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    the answer is under your name..... take a look.
    Hey Miraculous... Go Raiders ! .
    -Dad

  4. #4
    All fat, all the time.
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    Stop whining? OK...thanks appreciate the input.

  5. #5
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    Why are chicks crazy?

    I was married for 17 years before I moved for divorce. It took a lot to make a terrible marriage last that long. Tried counciling etc to no avail but in the end I left. She was resistant to any change. But I did learn a lot of things . One being that as a relationship progresses it is important to make time for each other. Maybe a date night once a week where it's just you two. Rekindle some romance etc. just a suggestion.
    Chances are .. You're full of !$@&?

  6. #6
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    Why are chicks crazy?

    Maybe you should be talking with your wife, not bad mouthing her on an Internet forum
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shark View Post
    Stop whining? OK...thanks appreciate the input.
    hey , no problem.

    Oh, check out your sig line too... You brought your own best answers..

  8. #8
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    This may not be about you, but about her inability to find a solution to the stress she is getting from work.
    You notice it and you are her best friend and partner.
    It might be time to drop some of your hobby time and pitch in toward looking for an answer for her.
    Help her out.
    Go back when things improve.

  9. #9
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    Dude, when the woman suffers, everyone suffers.

  10. #10
    Self Appointed Judge&Jury
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    Relationships are all about give and take. Also one of the main reasons most relationships fail is because one partner trys to change the other. Sometimes one has to take a step back and see what the real problem is. Is she stressed from work... yes. But also maybe you are being selfish with your free time. How about splitting up your free time and adding in more time to spend with her. Men and woman both have completely different needs it's up to each to learn the other and be willibg to give and take on each end.
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  11. #11
    check your six
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    My friend,

    Women are mysterious creatures. I have not figured them out yet in my 34 years, and I was married for 7 years. They seem to need emotional attention, patience and compassion, that's my downfall. 'Ain't nobody got time for that'.
    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Relationships are all about give and take..
    Who are YOU ! ? Dr. Ruth?

  13. #13
    9 lives
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    A happy wife is a happy life
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  14. #14
    All fat, all the time.
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    Yah, no kidding!
    I don't want anyone thinking I'm badmouthing my wife on the internet, I'm not. The name of my thread I figured would help get some readers in the door lol.

    But I just want my happy wife back.

    I do think it's mainly her stress at work, and I've been working lots too.

    We are possibly moving west at the end of the year. (IN to ID) She says she is fine with it, but she has family here (all my family is in Canada) and I'm wondering if that is another reason.

  15. #15
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    Why are chicks crazy?

    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    A happy wife is a happy life
    " if Momma ain't happy Nobodies happy!"
    Chances are .. You're full of !$@&?

  16. #16
    Self Appointed Judge&Jury
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishbucket View Post
    Who are YOU ! ? Dr. Ruth?
    Is she even still with us. Maybe I'll take over her spot.
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  17. #17
    live long and huck
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    Yeah, but how's your bike running? That's what's important. You can get another wife, no problem. But a bike that feels as if it's a natural extension of your inner being, now that is irreplaceable.

  18. #18
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    Wow, these Ambien sleep aids are strong. I feel all drunk and dizzy.

  19. #19
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    I went to Nordstrom with my wife after work today which turned into an hour of combing through dress racks there and 2 more stores. On the way home she suggested we stop at a little LBS I have been wanting to check out and I needed a few little things so we did. See, give and you shall receive. Now pass me the Ambien.

  20. #20
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    Females speak a different language than we do. The only hope is to not lose too much in translation.
    Sometimes, I question the value of my content.

  21. #21
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    You should check the cliches thread. There's at least 15 answers to your wife problems in there. Possibly more. Choose the one you can best live with.

  22. #22
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    Why are chicks crazy?

    Title of this thread reminds of a verse from a country song.
    Beer is good
    God is great
    And b!tches are crazy!!

    Or something like that.
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  23. #23
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    Re: Why are chicks crazy?

    ...because they hold firm to the belief that they can make men change.

    This starts out small, usually with the toilet seat, and then migrates to more substantial areas, clothes, actions, friends, and finally passions.

    Women are trained manipulators.
    Men are physically flawed by having only enough blood to supply one head.
    We do not get subtle innuendo, and women rarely can rarely be direct to say what they really want - because they know fully that they're being irrational.

    (Took 12 years of marriage to learn this.)

    My ($0.02 / Dr. Ruth) view she does NOT want to move away from her family. Try talking about ID, do not mention anything about biking, and note the reaction. Then on another day tell her about that new bike you want to buy, and gage which discussion causes the greater tsunami.

    Decide to you, which is more important, and then - pass the Ambien.

    (tapa)

  24. #24
    R.I.P. DogFriend
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    A man is walking on the beach near LA and he finds a brass lamp buried in the sand. And of course, hub rubs the lamp, and naturally, a genie appears from out of the lamp.

    As we all know, the genie grants the man three wishes. As many would do, the man uses the first two wishes to ensure he has eternal health and wealth. This leaves the third wish available for something a bit more whimsical . . . . He says that his wife is afraid of flying and boats, but really wants to be able to visit Hawaii, so he would like a bridge built from LA to Hawaii so he can drive his wife there.

    The genie explains that this would require a tremendous amount of resources (concrete, asphalt and steel) to build such a bridge and it would be a blight on the natural beauty of the ocean, and requests that he choose something different. The man ponders the genie's request, and says "OK, I'll forego the bridge to Hawaii if you can just tell me, what do women want?"

    The genie says, "Would you like that bridge to have two lanes, or four?"
    =====

    We're generally wired a little different. Something I was told by a woman that teaches 'life skills' to inmates, is that many times, women need to talk to you to process their feelings, and that even though our (men) first instinct is to try to fix it, they really just need for us to listen to them.

    I, OTOH, usually process things in silence, while riding my bike, and don't speak about something until after I have flushed it out as thoroughly as possible. I know, that when I get home from work, I need to listen to my wife talk about her day. I always thought she was asking for me to fix things. When I asked her about this whole 'listening' and not necessarily 'fixing it' thing, she confirmed that this was true. I asked my grown daughter, and got a similar response.

    So, I really don't have to jump up and 'fix it'? Nope, most of the time, I just need to listen. Instead of just assuming, If in doubt, I just ask, "Are you wanting me to try to fix this, or do you merely need for me to listen, and allow you to process?"

    Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, nor do I play one on TV. But. . . . I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night!

  25. #25
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    Mostly, she 'NEEDS" to "FEEL" that you listen and care.
    During these times, trying to have a rational discussion about whatever issues emerge should wait. Answers and solutions aren't the point.
    I'm afraid of heights so a 26'r fits me to a T.

  26. #26
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    BTW--you'd best stow that 'chicks are crazy' thing.

    Also--she just may have a rational reason for being pissed and you just have a blind spot. We all have blind spots. This is real important like.
    :-)
    I'm afraid of heights so a 26'r fits me to a T.

  27. #27
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    Grew up with 3 sisters, been in several relationships, been in love more than once, been engaged, etc etc.

    Through that all, I have learned one thing about women which is that I will never figure them out. Nobody can, not even women can figure women out. They are total mind ninjas.
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

  28. #28
    Carbon & Ti rule
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    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    Yeah, but how's your bike running? That's what's important. You can get another wife, no problem. But a bike that feels as if it's a natural extension of your inner being, now that is irreplaceable.
    I wish I could rep you again
    I have a 6 Berth Motorhome that I rent out . It is based in Tauranga, New Zealand

  29. #29
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    Popular sort of myth--but I disagree.
    Think chemicals running through your body that affect how you feel regardless of actual outside events.
    Clue.

    Quote Originally Posted by kjlued View Post
    Grew up with 3 sisters, been in several relationships, been in love more than once, been engaged, etc etc.

    Through that all, I have learned one thing about women which is that I will never figure them out. Nobody can, not even women can figure women out. They are total mind ninjas.
    I'm afraid of heights so a 26'r fits me to a T.

  30. #30
    I'm just messing with you
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    30+ years of marriage has taught me one thing - when the bombs are flying, keep your head down. Don't make it worse by responding because whatever you say or do, it won't be the right thing.
    Chasing bears through the woods drunk with a dull hatchet is strongly not advised

  31. #31
    Carbon & Ti rule
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    Woman without a hobby can be a pain ( A bit like us guys ) They need something to look forward to, They get grumpy & need more of your time.

    If you are the only thing she has to look forward to, She will get grumpy when you go out.

    You have to keep biking or you will get grumpy to & then you will have bigger problems.

    My wife works from home in a Hi stress job & had no hobby's & things were getting tuff, Off her own back she decided that she wanted to do a very small Triathlon 300meter swim 10km bike & 2.5 km run & that was a big thing for her.

    I told here that I would train along side her if she wanted to do anymore, 6 weeks later she had done 5 of them that length.

    13 months after the 1st Triathlon she was on the start line of a full Ironman ( & she finished ) it was a stunning change in her.

    The bottom line is they want to be happy, You need to work out how to get her there.

    But you cant afford to be the only good thing in her life, She need work to be the only crappy thing in her life & if she is happier then that won't seem so bad either & if it is, Then that needs to change.

    Life is short, Play hard you only get 1 shot.

    having fun as a couple is more fun than doing it alone.

    Look at life through her eyes & you will under stand a lot more.
    I have a 6 Berth Motorhome that I rent out . It is based in Tauranga, New Zealand

  32. #32
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    Uncertainty is stressful. And more stressful because she isn't the one in control of the decision. You 'may' be moving from IN to ID at he end of the year.
    That will disrupt her relationships with the people she sees every day. She doesn't know how to manage what she tells them until things gel.
    You're a team. Discuss all the factors involved in the move. What you and she can and cannot do and when it can be done. Get it down to as few unknowns as possible.
    Prep will reduce uncertainty and lessen her stress about the changes. A lot of things have to be figured out. Two people coming up with ideas will get better new ideas from both of you. Sharing.

  33. #33
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    Women are not cliches... relationships are not cliches... everyone is a little different, but fundamentally the same. I subscribe to the 'listen and try to hear', and 'do not rise to the bait' school of thought when it comes to women. We all have needs and wants, and honest, open communication is the only way to try to figure out what these are. As has been said, the knee-jerk reaction is to try to fix whatever is wrong, but all too often this desire is based on selfish reasons: primarily to give ourselves an easier life, and not necessarily for the altruistic reasons we often kid ourselves we have. The quick fix is usually counter-productive.
    Try to do the 3 things I have mentioned: be open, be honest, try to communicate... if those don't work, move to the nearest Holiday Inn Express...
    It's all Here. Now.

  34. #34
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    Women are like carnival rides,
    F¥{king mental

  35. #35
    El Gato Malo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Settertude View Post
    Also--she just may have a rational reason for being pissed and you just have a blind spot.
    A rational reason...... thought this thread was about women?

  36. #36
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    Its pretty simple.. Your wife is stressed and your going riding..She comes home stressed and instead of staying with her and comforting her you leave. Now while your gone she gets more and more agitated because why do you care more about your bike then her??? Now if your like me you probably wish she would just tell you what is wrong but good luck with that. I would suggest that for a couple days you don't ride but you stay with her. Just sit on the couch with her and listen. When she knows that you care more about her then the bike she will most likely tell you what is wrong. After that if things are back to normal maybe the next day say Honey would you mind if I go for a ride or do you need me? Now I'm not saying this is easy I mess this up more then I ever do it right. Good luck.

  37. #37
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    Why are chicks crazy?

    Guide to Understanding Women has just been released in paperback.

    Chances are .. You're full of !$@&?

  38. #38
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    Re: Why are chicks crazy?

    Consider a women's studies/gender studies class?

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by RossJamis View Post
    I would suggest that for a couple days you don't ride but you stay with her. Just sit on the couch with her and listen.

  40. #40
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    Why are chicks crazy?

    Quote Originally Posted by ehigh View Post
    Consider a women's studies/gender studies class?
    Is that like studying their gender? As in my gender Tab A goes in their gender Slot B?? I mean can't I just watch porn for that? Lol ( being an idiot)
    Chances are .. You're full of !$@&?

  41. #41
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    Re: Why are chicks crazy?

    The answer is simple...

    Spice it up in the sex room!

    (more sexie time less yapping time)

    Works every time

  42. #42
    I'm just messing with you
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    Quote Originally Posted by wazatataza View Post
    The answer is simple...

    Spice it up in the sex room!

    (more sexie time less yapping time)

    Works every time
    FWIW I believe in every marriage there comes a time when your wife will want you to go away so you'll leave her the hell alone. If you can make it that far, it's not a bad life.

    Also, the more you try to figure out what's wrong, the more pissed she'll get. She needs to dig the bug out of her ass for herself. You will only push it in deeper if you don't let it be.

    Another approach would be to try figuring out what she would enjoy doing to relieve her stress, and make it possible for her to do it. People need to something to get "out of their head" like we do while riding, so they can realize there's a lot more to be happy about than there is to be pissed over.
    Chasing bears through the woods drunk with a dull hatchet is strongly not advised

  43. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dirty $anchez View Post
    Dude, when the woman suffers, everyone suffers.
    OMG. So true!!! That is worth a signature quote

  44. #44
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    The good advice is kinda weirding me out here-in a good way.

    “Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
    ― George Carlin, When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?

    I'd add the theory that men are stupid (or at least ignorant,) because women are crazy. How many times have you seen the situation--storming mom screaming "WHO MADE THIS MESS!!!" and every guy in the house looks around vacantly as if he has no idea? Yeah...

  45. #45
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    Shark I got the perfect solution to the madness. Just quit biking cold turkey. And every spare minute you have spend it with your wife. After enough of this you will have drove her crazy. She will be begging you to go on a bike ride just for her own sanity.
    Last edited by DIRTJUNKIE; 09-05-2013 at 01:35 PM.
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  46. #46
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    Women can be who or what they want to be. They have the power.

    Like my 'ol man told me.... "son, that patch of hair between a woman's legs has more pull than a pack of mules."


    As I say this today, on my 15th anniversary...Deal with it. Plus, its football season now and you have something to do now you are "acting concerned" and staying home for her showing your love.

  47. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Settertude View Post
    BTW--you'd best stow that 'chicks are crazy' thing.

    Also--she just may have a rational reason for being pissed and you just have a blind spot. We all have blind spots. This is real important like.
    :-)
    Of course she has a rational reason... I can't think of a single boss I've had in life, that at one point in time or another was irrational and pissed me off too. Be the duck, and let the water run off your back.

  48. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeffj View Post
    A man is walking on the beach near LA and he finds a brass lamp buried in the sand. And of course, hub rubs the lamp, and naturally, a genie appears from out of the lamp.

    As we all know, the genie grants the man three wishes. As many would do, the man uses the first two wishes to ensure he has eternal health and wealth. This leaves the third wish available for something a bit more whimsical . . . . He says that his wife is afraid of flying and boats, but really wants to be able to visit Hawaii, so he would like a bridge built from LA to Hawaii so he can drive his wife there.

    The genie explains that this would require a tremendous amount of resources (concrete, asphalt and steel) to build such a bridge and it would be a blight on the natural beauty of the ocean, and requests that he choose something different. The man ponders the genie's request, and says "OK, I'll forego the bridge to Hawaii if you can just tell me, what do women want?"

    The genie says, "Would you like that bridge to have two lanes, or four?"
    =====

    We're generally wired a little different. Something I was told by a woman that teaches 'life skills' to inmates, is that many times, women need to talk to you to process their feelings, and that even though our (men) first instinct is to try to fix it, they really just need for us to listen to them.

    I, OTOH, usually process things in silence, while riding my bike, and don't speak about something until after I have flushed it out as thoroughly as possible. I know, that when I get home from work, I need to listen to my wife talk about her day. I always thought she was asking for me to fix things. When I asked her about this whole 'listening' and not necessarily 'fixing it' thing, she confirmed that this was true. I asked my grown daughter, and got a similar response.

    So, I really don't have to jump up and 'fix it'? Nope, most of the time, I just need to listen. Instead of just assuming, If in doubt, I just ask, "Are you wanting me to try to fix this, or do you merely need for me to listen, and allow you to process?"

    Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, nor do I play one on TV. But. . . . I did sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night!

    This stems from women giving men "honey do" lists all the time. Next time, I'll just look at that "list" and say "well, I just figured you wanted someone to listen to you, while YOU process it."

  49. #49
    heaven help me
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    Only women bleed.............Alice Cooper.

  50. #50
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    Women hope men will change.
    When women are good,men hope women will never change.
    ...mathematical.
    roccowt.
    rocnbikemeld

  51. #51
    U sayin' Bolt ?
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    Women want all kinds of excuses like "you can't understand me" etc.

    Don't stand for any Bullspit, you took her to Italy and Mex and you aren't giving her any actual crap so she needs to not give you any. Equality.

    Like Sebastian the crab said about little mermaids: "You give them an inch, they'll swim all over you"

  52. #52
    see me rollin, they hatin
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    Girls have a heart and guys are heartless. That's the difference between us that we are challenged to overcome. Some may call it "emotion".
    this. i know it's a shitty thing to say, but i'm at the point where i dont believe men have the capacity to truely love the way a woman does. it's a nasty thing to say, but i seem to see it all around me. when women realize this, they get bitter. yep, i'm kinda bitter. so....just living one day at a time.

    i'm also a tad crazy, but it mostly just amuses people.
    fap

  53. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    this. i know it's a shitty thing to say, but i'm at the point where i dont believe men have the capacity to truely love the way a woman does. it's a nasty thing to say, but i seem to see it all around me. when women realize this, they get bitter. yep, i'm kinda bitter. so....just living one day at a time.

    i'm also a tad crazy, but it mostly just amuses people.
    to an extent i agree, i do believe men have the capacity however the end result is simply diff from a womens.
    "ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK"

  54. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    this. i know it's a shitty thing to say, but i'm at the point where i dont believe men have the capacity to truely love the way a woman does.
    Actually, I think you hit the nail on the head. I think it lies in different definitions of 'love' and/or 'true'. My last ex really couldn't have done less to actually care about me, and hated the fact I didn't say love all the time, even though I was there for her and truly cared about her. I just wished she would quit saying she loved me over and over and start living it as a truth.

    Of course, after I explained this at length multiple times, I eventually realized she was not someone you could 'love', she was someone who used the term like a used car salesman to get better terms... something that may be much more common in men than women... maybe.

  55. #55
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    well, if love aint mutual, then i should stay single. we should all be single. that doesnt work well for the kids tho. i'm probably living a cynical life. i sort of feel like going out and breaking some man hearts, but what makes me angry, is they wont ever take it as hard as me. anyone who hurt me, i've tried to hurt them back on the same level, but if you dont have a heart to break, then it cant be done.
    fap

  56. #56
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    In college my roommate was a psych major. One evening he was telling me about a subject he was writing about, the 4 phases of love. Infatuation, romantic, [forget the 3rd] and deep love.

    If I remember correctly, the 3rd phase is really tough because that's where most of the substantial conflict happens. Not spending time together, not satisfied with changes that did (or didn't) happen with your mate, not being able to deal with mini to moderate crises, etc.

    Married couples that make it to the deep love phase are undoubtedly going to be in the local papers, celebrating their 50th+ anniversary.

    But, not everyone is wired to make it through all those phases. Doesn't matter how many X chromosomes you have.

  57. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    well, if love aint mutual, then i should stay single. we should all be single. that doesnt work well for the kids tho. i'm probably living a cynical life. i sort of feel like going out and breaking some man hearts, but what makes me angry, is they wont ever take it as hard as me. anyone who hurt me, i've tried to hurt them back on the same level, but if you dont have a heart to break, then it cant be done.
    speaking as a single male having never married, no children, hell never lived with a women the thought of mutual love, respect, kindness amongst the human species is a tough road plain and simple, is it right or wrong who knows but suffice to say the coming together of hearts on the same level in todays world is asking a heap load.
    "ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK"

  58. #58
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    okay I didn't read anything else except for the OP's original post. I'm lazy like that.


    How often do you go bike riding? Is it like she start to get mad at you then you dig out into the woods? Try and just spend more time with her, take her out for a nice dinner, go shopping and buy her some shoes.
    If she is still mad at after all that, then yes she is crazy. Leave her alone and go ride your bike.

    BUT if she starts to act normal again, then maybe all she needs right now is some TLC.
    I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    well, if love aint mutual, then i should stay single. we should all be single. that doesnt work well for the kids tho. i'm probably living a cynical life. i sort of feel like going out and breaking some man hearts, but what makes me angry, is they wont ever take it as hard as me. anyone who hurt me, i've tried to hurt them back on the same level, but if you dont have a heart to break, then it cant be done.
    Nicole, a better approach would that their loss is greater than yours. Deliberately trying to hurt someone is a poor use of your time... better to just move on to the next bike ride and next potential suitor. There are plenty of fish in the sea, just gotta go fishing with the right bait.

    BTW, I worked at the Breck Epic with a pretty classy volunteer gal that lives in Breckenridge, a little older than you, with a boyfriend of many years, but no ring... and she shared with me this little gem.

    "By the time you're 30, men are like parking spots in the parking lot at the mall during the holiday shopping season... all the good ones are already taken, what's left is handicapped." Gotta hunt hard for that parking spot that's not handicapped.

  60. #60
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    Buy her a bike.

    Problem solved

  61. #61
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    Nickie--I get what you are saying, but I don't think of love that way. Love is not gender dependent. Love is a way of thinking and attitude. When that is right then the behavior follows. Love is simply believing that someone is more Important than you are.
    When a man thinks and really believes that about his wife/woman, he will make choices to suit. When he puts her before himself, she will know and that 'knowing ' covers a whole lot of ground.
    This is what I have learned over a lifetime.
    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    this. i know it's a shitty thing to say, but i'm at the point where i dont believe men have the capacity to truely love the way a woman does. it's a nasty thing to say, but i seem to see it all around me. when women realize this, they get bitter. yep, i'm kinda bitter. so....just living one day at a time.

    i'm also a tad crazy, but it mostly just amuses people.
    I'm afraid of heights so a 26'r fits me to a T.

  62. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Settertude View Post
    Love is simply believing that someone is more Important than you are.
    That's the definition I've always worked with.

    Nicole, I know of plenty of ladies who got tired of a man's shit and ended up playing for the other team.
    Chasing bears through the woods drunk with a dull hatchet is strongly not advised

  63. #63
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    double post
    Last edited by DIRTJUNKIE; 09-05-2013 at 03:32 PM.
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  64. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    this. i know it's a shitty thing to say, but i'm at the point where i dont believe men have the capacity to truely love the way a woman does. it's a nasty thing to say, but i seem to see it all around me. when women realize this, they get bitter. yep, i'm kinda bitter. so....just living one day at a time.
    I would agree that women are more emotionally consumed which can cause them to bask/wallow a bit more in love and bitterness alike. But I don't think you can say that they love more. Love runs deep and doesn't seem like it could/should be an excuse for bitterness.


    Just to preface, I have been with a fiery little Italian woman for 5 years and, believe me, things will get justified out of proportion real quick if partners don't bring each other back down to earth.

  65. #65
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    One thing I have learned... actually let me rephrase that: There are many things I have learned after many relationships, including 20 years of marriage, then another 9 years with the same partner, and now married again, and those are:

    - No relationship is perfect.
    - Without work by both partners, it will never even become better, let alone perfect.
    - Stereotypes are meaningless, men and women both have the capacity to love on an equal footing, we are just too consumed with what is expected of us by both our partners and society as a whole.
    - Nobody in my book is more important than anyone else, (sorry 'tude!), but we are ALL equally important.
    - The best way to show love is to truly and openly listen and try to hear, and be honest and open with our needs and desires.
    - Every relationship is a learning experience, if it doesn't work, then there is a good reason for that, and hopefully we can take away something positive to allow us to better deal the next time around.
    - There is huge joy to be found in an honest and loving relationship, but there will be tough times too. Without the pain there can be no real joy, and if we shut ourselves off from these emotions we will never truly feel alive.
    - All relationships will end eventually, (little morbid, sorry), enjoy them while you can, and if you cannot find any joy in a relationship, time to take a long hard look at it, and to not be afraid to move on if that is the only answer you can see. As someone said, there are a lot of fish in the sea, and plenty that are carrying the right bar code... If you cannot find one that suits, there is something you are not doing right.
    It's all Here. Now.

  66. #66
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    all men are dogs meanwhile all women love puppies. what else can a puppy turn into?

  67. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by norton55 View Post
    Only women bleed.............Alice Cooper.
    Speaking of which, never trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die.
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

  68. #68
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    "STOP The Insanity!!

    Shark I got the perfect solution to the madness. Just quit biking cold turkey. And every spare minute you have spend it with your wife. After enough of this you will have drove her crazy. She will be begging you to go on a bike ride just for her own sanity.
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  69. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shark View Post
    We are possibly moving west at the end of the year. (IN to ID) She says she is fine with it, but she has family here (all my family is in Canada) and I'm wondering if that is another reason.
    Relationships are complicated things that's for sure. Lot's of good insight in this thread so I'll just address moving, which might be more of an immediate "trigger." Moving away from family and friends to a completely new place is really hard, trust me on this because I had to do it several times when I was a kid. I know that there were times when my Mom would say "that's OK" but I knew she was just going along with the program. I'm sure your wife is feeling some anxiety over this and so you might want to reexamine this decision. But this is all in the context of your relationship and again, I think many of the points brought up in this thread are pretty valid.

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    You're damned if you do, damned if you don't... The grass is always greener on the other side. Throw those in the cliche thread.

    I struggled with popping the question a few years back because I was holding out for the grass on the other side of the fence until I realized it couldn't get any greener than I already had it. Sure marriage/relationships are hard and change your life habits (damned if you do), but by not allowing yourself to be the other half of something great can be lonely (damned if you don't). Now, whether you find that other half takes time, pain, luck, etc. Sometimes I wonder what single life would be like for me now, most days I count my blessings.

  71. #71
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    WHY are chicks crazy?

    Why do you think, they get squeezed out of a chooks nether regions, have to pick their way out of their own shell and then get blasted by a heat lamp for the first couple of days!

    OK, seriously, 20yrs married this year and 5 with my best friend before we got married so take this as you will.

    As has been said, she needs to believe you are listening to her, not just that she needs to believe that you care about what she is saying. It's hard to give specifics without seeing you in action but "talking" with her while you flip channels won't cut it. Surprise her from time to time with things she likes. Be spontaneous with her (not about "sweet we're not doing anything today I'll go for a ride"). Treat her like you met her last week and you are thinking to yourself "Damn this one is hot I want to get to know her better". Don't just buy her things but do invest in your marriage.

    Got to agree, don't think she wants to move away from her family. If things are rocky before you move then it will only get worse as she is isolated from her friends and family, especially if the move is basically for your career or suggestion. That can be tough because everyone has to earn a crust somehow.

    If you want this to be resolved, don't focus on what is wrong with her but focus on what you can do to make your relationship better. Some will argue this will turn her into a self centred bit@#, you'll know if it does and then the decision about whether the relationship is right for you is up to you. I reckon you will be surprised.

    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    this. i know it's a shitty thing to say, but i'm at the point where i dont believe men have the capacity to truely love the way a woman does. it's a nasty thing to say, but i seem to see it all around me. when women realize this, they get bitter. yep, i'm kinda bitter. so....just living one day at a time.

    i'm also a tad crazy, but it mostly just amuses people.
    Nic, you haven't met me yet have you?

  72. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by OCtrailMonkey View Post
    You're damned if you do, damned if you don't... The grass is always greener on the other side. Throw those in the cliche thread.

    I struggled with popping the question a few years back because I was holding out for the grass on the other side of the fence until I realized it couldn't get any greener than I already had it. Sure marriage/relationships are hard and change your life habits (damned if you do), but by not allowing yourself to be the other half of something great can be lonely (damned if you don't). Now, whether you find that other half takes time, pain, luck, etc. Sometimes I wonder what single life would be like for me now, most days I count my blessings.
    OC, the grass is ALWAYS greenest where it is watered the most. Get your hose son.

  73. #73
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    Re: Why are chicks crazy?

    Shark, are you getting your chores done around the house?
    The leg bone's connected to the Cash Bone!

  74. #74
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    Re: Why are chicks crazy?

    Best relationship advice ever:
    www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg


    Sent from my S3 on the way to the trailhead.

  75. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtbdl View Post
    Best relationship advice ever:
    It's Not About The Nail - YouTube


    Sent from my S3 on the way to the trailhead.
    Haha

    Niiiiiice
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

  76. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by dgw2jr View Post
    Shark, are you getting your chores done around the house?
    F-yeah I am!
    We built the log home we live in 6 years ago. Last two years the big projects were finishing porches & entryway, leveling the back yard, landscaping around the house. All done. I do my own laundry, help clean, cook etc. We planted a salsa garden this year, made a shit-load of salsa & pickles. That was her idea so we did it together.

    Quote Originally Posted by Brockwan View Post
    Buy her a bike.

    Problem solved
    Last year! She rode with me a decent amount last year, but this year hasn't been out once. Shiny santa cruz sitting collecting dust

  77. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazukea View Post
    okay I didn't read anything else except for the OP's original post. I'm lazy like that.


    How often do you go bike riding? Is it like she start to get mad at you then you dig out into the woods? Try and just spend more time with her, take her out for a nice dinner, go shopping and buy her some shoes.
    If she is still mad at after all that, then yes she is crazy. Leave her alone and go ride your bike.

    BUT if she starts to act normal again, then maybe all she needs right now is some TLC.
    I bike maybe 2 - 3 times/week. Less than last year for sure. Weekends I might sneak out for 3 - 4 hour ride, but only one day not both....


    Peace talks have started last night. She feels we're not doing enough stuff "together"....I ask her to ride a bike & she says she doesn't like it....hummm...ok? whatever.
    Looks like more golf in my future, maybe some dance lessons to boot.

  78. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtbdl View Post
    Best relationship advice ever:
    It's Not About The Nail - YouTube


    Sent from my S3 on the way to the trailhead.
    Haha, that is exactly how I am feeling.

  79. #79
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    When I was young I loved loving women. Now, I damn sure love loving my wife.
    I loves the wimens, they awful sweet.
    Gone are the days we stopped to decide,
    Where we should go,
    We just ride...

  80. #80
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    Why are chicks crazy?

    A woman is a mysterious creature indeed. You have to take time to figure out what their dreams and aspirations are. Take an interest in helping them achieve those goals. Romance her, leave little notes on her car, give her flowers just because. In doing so you might just be surprised . Well anyhow this is what I did with my girl and it seems to be working for me
    Chances are .. You're full of !$@&?

  81. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shark View Post
    F-yeah I am!
    We built the log home we live in 6 years ago. Last two years the big projects were finishing porches & entryway, leveling the back yard, landscaping around the house. All done. I do my own laundry, help clean, cook etc. We planted a salsa garden this year, made a shit-load of salsa & pickles. That was her idea so we did it together.



    Last year! She rode with me a decent amount last year, but this year hasn't been out once. Shiny santa cruz sitting collecting dust
    Quote Originally Posted by Shark View Post
    I bike maybe 2 - 3 times/week. Less than last year for sure. Weekends I might sneak out for 3 - 4 hour ride, but only one day not both....


    Peace talks have started last night. She feels we're not doing enough stuff "together"....I ask her to ride a bike & she says she doesn't like it....hummm...ok? whatever.
    Looks like more golf in my future, maybe some dance lessons to boot.
    Just came here to post maybe you should book some salsa dancing lessons and surprise her with those.

  82. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shark View Post
    I bike maybe 2 - 3 times/week. Less than last year for sure. Weekends I might sneak out for 3 - 4 hour ride, but only one day not both....


    Peace talks have started last night. She feels we're not doing enough stuff "together"....I ask her to ride a bike & she says she doesn't like it....hummm...ok? whatever.
    Looks like more golf in my future, maybe some dance lessons to boot.
    Maybe its the type of riding she doesn't like? I know my wife would never want to ride again if she went on the same rides I do. Even though she is 9 years younger then me she just isn't a risk taker. She does however enjoy riding easy trails with lots of scenery. Just a thought.

  83. #83
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    Why is the rate of divorce as high as it is?
    I'm afraid of heights so a 26'r fits me to a T.

  84. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by Settertude View Post
    Why is the rate of divorce as high as it is?
    because not everybody comes to the OC for marriage counselling.

  85. #85
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    Why are chicks crazy?

    Quote Originally Posted by Settertude View Post
    Why is the rate of divorce as high as it is?
    I think it's high because of several reasons. One being the deterioration of the family. The Internet is another. We've become a throw away society and devoid of any morals. Something breaks? Dont repair it Buy a new one. Wife braking your balls about your jacking off to porn on the computer? Divorce her and find another on a Internet dating site, got money problems? Walk away from your debt and let the tax payer foot the bill.
    Chances are .. You're full of !$@&?

  86. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by emu26 View Post
    because not everybody comes to the OC for marriage counselling.
    Our job is done here then.....next.
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  87. #87
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    When marriage was 'invented', your choices for a mate were pretty much known (the females in your village, or maybe in the next village over, if you weren't at war with them in some fashion) for a long time before you even became of age to do so. As time has passed, our options to do whatever we want to do in life have multiplied exponentially. Now, we can travel to the other side of the earth in hours, and with the internet, we can virtually be everywhere at once.

    With so much variety available and attainable, it's no wonder that people switch partners so readily. In my estimation, the institution of marriage needs an overhaul. It's far more a business arrangement, than it is a relationship commitment. The financial repercussions can last a lifetime, so you had better be very sure, and in the end, you only have control over your end of the bargain.

    So, what is the incentive when it can be dissolved at the drop of a hat, except you could be on the hook financially for a long time, if not the rest of your life?

    My suggestion for improving the concept would be for every marriage to have a prenuptial agreement and to have the terms of the marriage in writing, spelling out exactly what would happen if the marriage ends in divorce (or any other way). There would be some matters that must be included, but after that, the two parties can decide to include whatever else they wish and agree to. That way, everybody knows what is at stake before the marriage takes place, instead of your local gubmint deciding for you, and laws being passed after the fact that have consequences you never would have agreed to had you known about them beforehand.

    It might cut down on all the waste of divorce court too. It would be a contract with everything spelled out and agreed upon beforehand. Nothing left to squabble about. Just enforcement of the contract.

    As it stands in 2013, entering into a marriage is one of the most risky, ill-advised, and insane business arrangements one could ever enter into. Statistically, your chances of it lasting for the duration are somewhere in the neighborhood of 50/50. Maybe worse?

    Disclaimer: Married 28 years, and together for 34 years. Sometimes, it's better to be lucky than good

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    Quote Originally Posted by jeffj View Post
    So, what is the incentive when it can be dissolved at the drop of a hat, except you could be on the hook financially for a long time, if not the rest of your life?

    My suggestion for improving the concept would be for every marriage to have a prenuptial agreement and to have the terms of the marriage in writing, spelling out exactly what would happen if the marriage ends in divorce (or any other way). There would be some matters that must be included, but after that, the two parties can decide to include whatever else they wish and agree to. That way, everybody knows what is at stake before the marriage takes place, instead of your local gubmint deciding for you, and laws being passed after the fact that have consequences you never would have agreed to had you known about them beforehand.

    It might cut down on all the waste of divorce court too. It would be a contract with everything spelled out and agreed upon beforehand. Nothing left to squabble about. Just enforcement of the contract.

    As it stands in 2013, entering into a marriage is one of the most risky, ill-advised, and insane business arrangements one could ever enter into. Statistically, your chances of it lasting for the duration are somewhere in the neighborhood of 50/50. Maybe worse?
    What you propose would remove a lot of money from the system that is totally dependent on it, so the powers that be will never go for it. The lawyers got boats and McMansions to pay for ya know!
    The leg bone's connected to the Cash Bone!

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    Quote Originally Posted by jeffj View Post
    As it stands in 2013, entering into a marriage is one of the most risky, ill-advised, and insane business arrangements one could ever enter into. Statistically, your chances of it lasting for the duration are somewhere in the neighborhood of 50/50. Maybe worse?

    Disclaimer: Married 28 years, and together for 34 years. Sometimes, it's better to be lucky than good
    Hypocrisy is a common human trait, Jeff!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    Hypocrisy is a common human trait, Jeff!
    And he did it all in ONE post, now that's impressive.
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    ************^^^^¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqpcBpSsj1A

  91. #91
    Laramie, Wyoming
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    This was on the top of the New Posts category and I was drawn in by the title, but since I've only been married for 25 years I don't feel I'm qualified to give an answer.

  92. #92
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    Here's a hint:
    There's 3 phrases to know when your other half doesn't understand you.
    (1) I'm sorry.
    (2) PLEASE forgive me.
    (3) I was wrong.
    **Say this EVEN when your right.
    ...then learn that "look" you get- so you can get a jump start and say them even before anything gets started.
    ...This...a box of candy,a flower,a nice card,and a poem never fails.
    ...and dress nice when you deliver them.
    Z
    roccowt.
    rocnbikemeld

  93. #93
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    I went to marriage counseling with my x wife (clearly it didnt work). The therapist was brilliant and though it was to little too late to save my marriage, his advice helped me to understand women a lot better.

    Every one, man and woman, speaks a different "love language". Some of these are a product of how you were raised and some are just a part of who you are.

    Vocal - Some people are free with the "i love you". They give it freely and get very hurt if their partner never says it first. These people need to be told they are loved to feel loved.

    Touch - Some people like to hold hands, hug, snuggle and enjoy sex. To this type, physical contact is a sign of love.

    Time - Some people need to spend quality time with their partners. Day to day chores together dont cut it, shopping together dont cut it, dinner once a week dont cut it. They need undivided attention from their partner. Time set aside and spent with them and them alone tells them they are loved.

    Gifts - Some people need the thoughtfulness of a gift to feel love. A physical symbol of what they are worth to their partner will make them happy like nothing else.

    Most people will favor 2 of the 4. If you are in a relationship with a person who speaks a different love language, things can get ugly quickly with out either person understanding why.

    Imagine the old school guy who is unable to say "i love you" to his wife. He spends all his time "providing" for his family and is never there, but fills the house with comforts for her. He likes to hold her hand and touch her when he is home, but is baffled why she has been less and less willing to reciprocate. This guy can not understand why his wife is unhappy and asks for a divorce. In his mind, he has been devotedly showing her his love for years.

    Imagine the woman who tells her husband she loves him, and schedules her day so that she is home to spend time with him when he gets off work every day. She does not really like physical contact, but shows her love by making his favorite dinners every night. She can not understand why is unhappy and leaves her for another woman.

    Every person is different. Yes, woman are crazy.... so are men. Half of a relationship is figuring out what is important to your partner and providing it even though it may not be important to you.

  94. #94
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    notice how different people treat you when you get dressed up.
    ...put on a really nice semi formal type set of clothes and go out in public in the same places you normally go in jeans and sweats...and watch how you instantly become a "sir", or Mr.----.
    ...human nature.
    roccowt.
    rocnbikemeld

  95. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRingGrinder View Post
    I went , me understand , speaks a different , undivided attention , thoughtfulness , 2 of the 4. , to say "i love you" ,This guy can not understand ,Imagine, , understand why ,so are men. ,to you.

    Who are YOU? Dr. Phil....

  96. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shark View Post
    We are possibly moving west at the end of the year. (IN to ID) She says she is fine with it, but she has family here (all my family is in Canada) and I'm wondering if that is another reason.
    Been married 28 years and made a lot of mistakes - open your eyes! This is a big deal - she is leaving mom, dad, friends and job - girls are social. Also you are at an age where kids come along (you might not be thinking about it but I am sure she is) - being on your own with a baby and no family around is very very very hard - you had better think long and hard about this move.

  97. #97
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    Re: Why are chicks crazy?

    Quote Originally Posted by zarr View Post
    Here's a hint:
    There's 3 phrases to know when your other half doesn't understand you.
    (1) I'm sorry.
    (2) PLEASE forgive me.
    (3) I was wrong.
    **Say this EVEN when your right.
    ...then learn that "look" you get- so you can get a jump start and say them even before anything gets started.
    ...This...a box of candy,a flower,a nice card,and a poem never fails.
    ...and dress nice when you deliver them.
    Z
    Man has a point... If your not willing to do this, just get on your bike and disappear into the horizon

  98. #98
    R.I.P. DogFriend
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    Hypocrisy is a common human trait, Jeff!
    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    And he did it all in ONE post, now that's impressive.
    Takes a bow

  99. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by shellshocked View Post
    Been married 28 years and made a lot of mistakes - open your eyes! This is a big deal - she is leaving mom, dad, friends and job - girls are social. Also you are at an age where kids come along (you might not be thinking about it but I am sure she is) - being on your own with a baby and no family around is very very very hard - you had better think long and hard about this move.
    We're not having kids....we have 2 dogs though....

  100. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishbucket View Post
    Who are YOU? Dr. Phil....
    Naw, just good at regurgitating crap i have heard others say. Even if i tend to ignore it my self.

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