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  1. #1
    Meatbomb
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    When Tools Get Owned

    Sitting at an intersection on my bike waiting for the light to turn green. There is a black SUV in the left lane with a white chevy truck behind it. The lite turns green and before the SUV even had a chance to move the Tool in the truck lays on his horn. The SUV starts to move through the intersection and the Tool in the truck floors it and passes the SUV on the right and then changes lanes back in front of the SUV and slams on his breaks. At that point the SUV lit up like the undercover police car it was.

    The Tool got owned. As I rolled by them the driver had his window down so I laughed,pointed and said 'your getting the dick of the day award, enjoy it dick head'.

    That will not be a cheap ticket either, we have pretty heavy fines for aggressive driving around here. I still chuckle when i think about it.

  2. #2
    STEEL IS REAL
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phillbo View Post
    Sitting at an intersection on my bike waiting for the light to turn green. There is a black SUV in the left lane with a white chevy truck behind it. The lite turns green and before the SUV even had a chance to move the Tool in the truck lays on his horn. The SUV starts to move through the intersection and the Tool in the truck floors it and passes the SUV on the right and then changes lanes back in front of the SUV and slams on his breaks. At that point the SUV lit up like the undercover police car it was.

    The Tool got owned. As I rolled by them the drive had his window down so I laughed,pointed and said 'your getting the dick of the day award, enjoy it dick head'.

    That will not be a cheap ticket either, we have pretty heavy fines for aggressive driving around here. I still chuckle when i think about it.
    You're lucky the driver didn't pull out his oozie and kill you dead on the spot.

    You should watch your 6 for a while and perhaps avoid that stretch or road or corner of town. If you must pass through there again, wear different colored cycling attire, paint your bike a different color, wear a wig, whatever it takes to make you not look like you. He's out there Phillbo.

    But I wouldn't worry too much about it...

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    You're lucky the driver didn't pull out his oozie and kill you dead on the spot.

    You should watch your 6 for a while and perhaps avoid that stretch or road or corner of town. If you must pass through there again, wear different colored cycling attire, paint your bike a different color, wear a wig, whatever it takes to make you not look like you. He's out there Phillbo.

    But I wouldn't worry too much about it...
    A bit paranoid there, you been hitting the pipe again?

    Phillbo awesome story I hate rude dick head drivers. A couple months ago I pulled up to a drive up ATM. One person in front of me so I'm waiting patiently when I notice an old white Jeep Cherokee pull in behind me. Windows down and tunes cranked. No big deal right, I notice it's a couple young dudes rocking out. Then the guy in front of me pulls away and I pull up. I put my card in the machine and do my transaction. I'm waiting for my card return, then I reach and grab it and in the same motion start to roll forward out of courtesy so they wouldn't have to wait any longer behind me. Just as I'm moving and about to hit the gas the jackass behind me punches it [full throttle] and flys around the right side of me. I slam on the brakes avoiding hitting him by inches. There was only enough room for him to go around and immediately get in front of me back in the lane. He went flying around the bank. Came to a stop sign and a left out of the parking lot and another stop sign. Which he ran both as he made a left, there was a cop right there and he got pulled over. I went by and honked my horn at him as I passed laughing my ass off. My emotions went from being seriously pissed at him for passing me like that to utter laughter as I passed him being pulled over.
    Last edited by DIRTJUNKIE; 04-05-2015 at 02:27 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  4. #4
    Meatbomb
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    There is a set of photo radar cameras not far from mi casa. One day I was driving down the street and this asshat was tailgating me real bad... I let him sit there and steam as I proceeded along matching the speed of the cars in the other lanes until just before the cameras when I sped up to clear the car to my right and changed lanes. As expected the ass jumped on the gas to race everyone to the next stop light and hit the radar cameras doing well over the limit.. Flashes went off and he knew he had been owned.

    Pulled up next to him at the next red light and just smiled. I could tell he was pissed.

  5. #5
    STEEL IS REAL
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phillbo View Post
    There is a set of photo radar cameras not far from mi casa. One day I was driving down the street and this asshat was tailgating me real bad... I let him sit there and steam as I proceeded along matching the speed of the cars in the other lanes until just before the cameras when I sped up to clear the car to my right and changed lanes. As expected the ass jumped on the gas to race everyone to the next stop light and hit the radar cameras doing well over the limit.. Flashes went off and he knew he had been owned.

    Pulled up next to him at the next red light and just smiled. I could tell he was pissed.
    You certainly have a way with Tools and Asshats.

    Should we have an A-10 Warthog on stand bye to take out the next one you reveal?

  6. #6
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    10 years ago (before I owned a cell phone) I got passed by a guy driving erratically and drinking a beer from a paper bag (quart bottle). We leave town and head out on a country highway and there is a trooper on the side of the road looking for speeders. I pull up to talk to the trooper and he starts yelling that I'm blocking his radar (really? guy pulls up next to you to tell you something and you're worried that you might miss a speeder). Anyway, I tell him about the erratic driver, give him the make and license number, etc., explain (twice) about the beer and driving. So off goes the trooper and he eventually catches the drunk at the county line. To the earlier point, I didn't engage the driver. I was happy to see him getting pulled from his vehicle.

  7. #7
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    A few years ago they redid a major intersection in my area and changed it so that right turns on red lights were prohibited. And put up at least a dozen signs saying no right turn on red. Which was ignored by many drivers. So the light is red and I'm stopped in the right lane, and I can just see a cop car parked down the street waiting for someone to make an illegal right turn. A few seconds later, some dickface pulls up behind me, starts honking his horn at me, and when I just sit there ignoring him he pulls out around me and guns it around the corner. He didn't even make it 10 seconds down the road before the cops had him pulled over and ticketed.

    The sad part is it took years before drivers stopped making right turns on red lights at that intersection. At one point there were 4-5 police cruisers lined up near the intersection every single day just waiting for drivers to run the lights, and every day there were multiple people getting pulled over and ticketed. That intersection must've generated a fortune in fines.

  8. #8
    Contains no juice.
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    I went to get gas today, started to pull in to a 3 pump que, but someone who was rightfully ahead of me pulled in to the last pump. I could see a guy ahead st the first pump, and there's a space between the two pumps. I'm thinking, ok, you dick, why didn't you pull into pump 2 so I could use the last pump? I sat and waited until she got out of her car, and I stared daggers of hate at her. Grrrr, I thought as I backed up and made my way around her. As I passed the front of her car, that's when I saw the orange pylon blocking pump #2.

    Luckily I didn't say anything (I was close), but still, I was the tool today.
    At least you got a nice boat out of the deal.


    DJ Trump

  9. #9
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    When Tools Get Owned

    Last week I bought an 8' Crescent Wrench and now I own it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  10. #10
    Snowflake
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    Quote Originally Posted by Picard
    You guys are useless.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cornfield View Post
    Unfortunately that GIF is very misleading, both drivers were tools that caused that incident.

  12. #12
    Meatbomb
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finch Platte View Post
    I went to get gas today, started to pull in to a 3 pump que, but someone who was rightfully ahead of me pulled in to the last pump. I could see a guy ahead st the first pump, and there's a space between the two pumps. I'm thinking, ok, you dick, why didn't you pull into pump 2 so I could use the last pump? I sat and waited until she got out of her car, and I stared daggers of hate at her. Grrrr, I thought as I backed up and made my way around her. As I passed the front of her car, that's when I saw the orange pylon blocking pump #2.

    Luckily I didn't say anything (I was close), but still, I was the tool today.

    I drive a diesel truck and it really irks me when i pull in to a station and every diesel pump is occupied by a gasser and there are gasser pumps available. I typically identify the person I think should have known better and park real close to their bumper and idle while they pump.

  13. #13
    Contains no juice.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phillbo View Post
    I drive a diesel truck and it really irks me when i pull in to a station and every diesel pump is occupied by a gasser and there are gasser pumps available. I typically identify the person I think should have known better and park real close to their bumper and idle while they pump.
    You know, that is something I have NEVER thought about, and I'll bet the vast majority of the population is like me. I thought there were diesel nozzles at every pump.
    At least you got a nice boat out of the deal.


    DJ Trump

  14. #14
    Snowflake
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    Quote Originally Posted by the-one1 View Post
    Unfortunately that GIF is very misleading, both drivers were tools that caused that incident.
    I agree.

    https://youtu.be/Jr6_t_JcUDg
    Quote Originally Posted by Picard
    You guys are useless.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cornfield View Post
    Both tools IMO but the truck driver was more of one. <<< is there such a thing or do both have to be equal opportunity tools.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  16. #16
    Meatbomb
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finch Platte View Post
    You know, that is something I have NEVER thought about, and I'll bet the vast majority of the population is like me. I thought there were diesel nozzles at every pump.

    Typically only one pump on each island has diesel. Newer stations have a couple on each island.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phillbo View Post
    Typically only one pump on each island has diesel. Newer stations have a couple on each island.
    Finch just look for the GREEN pump handle and avoid it if possible.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Finch just look for the GREEN pump handle and avoid it if possible.
    Green so what is with the yellow ones?
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    There's some strange folk out there 'bouts. They have no sense of humor.
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  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Finch just look for the GREEN pump handle and avoid it if possible.
    I guess so, wouldn't want ol' Phildo threatening me with his truck!
    At least you got a nice boat out of the deal.


    DJ Trump

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Finch just look for the GREEN pump handle and avoid it if possible.
    BP gas stations use green handles for regular unleaded

  21. #21
    A waste of time it is is
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phillbo View Post
    I drive a diesel truck and it really irks me when i pull in to a station and every diesel pump is occupied by a gasser and there are gasser pumps available. I typically identify the person I think should have known better and park real close to their bumper and idle while they pump.
    Just maybe those other spots weren't available when the bloke at the deisel pump pulled in. Just a thought.

  22. #22
    A waste of time it is is
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    Quote Originally Posted by deke505 View Post
    Green so what is with the yellow ones?
    They are there for you to urinate into while filling your tank with the green or red ones.

  23. #23
    Meatbomb
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    Quote Originally Posted by emu26 View Post
    Just maybe those other spots weren't available when the bloke at the deisel pump pulled in. Just a thought.
    Or maybe i only do it when i see a bloke pull up to the diesel pump when there are gasser pumps available.

  24. #24
    A waste of time it is is
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    I don't know, I'm not there, I'm here.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by emu26 View Post
    I don't know, I'm not there, I'm here.
    It's like the Twilight Zone around here sometimes.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by emu26 View Post
    I don't know, I'm not there, I'm here.
    where?
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    There's some strange folk out there 'bouts. They have no sense of humor.
    My Blog

  27. #27
    A waste of time it is is
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    on 2nd

  28. #28
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    who
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    There's some strange folk out there 'bouts. They have no sense of humor.
    My Blog

  29. #29
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    I owned Finchy in this thread, post #38.

    Topeak Joe blow pump broken 2nd use

    The old bait and switch.
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by deke505 View Post
    who
    's on first?
    Quote Originally Posted by mileslong View Post
    I passionately remove rocks and corners and other stuff I find too hard to ride.

  31. #31
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    Rep would be had by Hawg if I could.
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  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phillbo View Post
    I drive a diesel truck and it really irks me when i pull in to a station and every diesel pump is occupied by a gasser and there are gasser pumps available. I typically identify the person I think should have known better and park real close to their bumper and idle while they pump.
    I do the exact same thing. I actually had a guy walk up and tell me another pump was open. "Thanks, but I'm waiting for the diesel pump." Now he knows.

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