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  1. #1
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    Vasectomy alternatives?

    Hate condoms, birth control makes the fiancé crazy, and I don't want to have a week of recovery time.

    Are there sterilization pills?

  2. #2
    El Gato Malo
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    Can always just pull and pray.

  3. #3
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    I don't like pulling out either

  4. #4
    Self Appointed Judge&Jury
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    How about soaking it in cider.
    Front Range, Colorado.

  5. #5
    since 4/10/2009
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    I have heard about male birth control. Not sure if it's commercially available yet or if it's as effective as other options.

    You could always just use a hammer, but I'm not sure you'd be happy with the recovery prospects of that, either.

  6. #6
    Meatbomb
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    I had the big V when I was 21.. I knew I did not want any more kids.

  7. #7
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    Butt sex.

  8. #8
    ****** to the dirt
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    get a swift hard kick in em .
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    There's some strange folk out there 'bouts. They have no sense of humor.
    http://thewoodgallery.blogspot.ca/

  9. #9
    9 lives
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    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Vasectomy alternatives?-friday_gifdump_347_03.jpg  

    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  10. #10
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    Be a man get it done. I did and am very glad I did... As Forest would say one less thing to worry about.
    When you've seen someone rupture their scrotum on a bike you won't take the standards for top tube clearance lightly!

  11. #11
    R.I.P. DogFriend
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    By the time I was done having kids, it seemed to be a permanent solution to a relatively temporary issue (eventually she will no longer be fertile) .

    Some decent reading here:

    http://www.vasectomy-information.com/pages/wellconn.pdf

    Make an informed decision, do what you got to do.

  12. #12
    gobsmacked Moderator
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    Vasectomy alternatives?

    Castration. And I do think there are drugs that were giving as a condition of probation to some of our inmates. Good luck.

  13. #13
    Killer b.
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    Stop being such a wuss and git'er done.
    2nd best decision I ever made, 2nd only to marrying my wife.
    Sure, you're a bit tender for a couple of days, but it's hardly agony, and it was only about three days before I was back on the motorbike, and about a week to start mountain biking.
    No problem.
    Posting on the basis that ignorance shared is ignorance doubled.

  14. #14
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    The withdrawal method is proven to be 50% effective. Perfect for the hard core gamblin' man.

    I'll probably get flack for this but there is the "morning after" drug, too.

  15. #15
    gobsmacked Moderator
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    Vasectomy alternatives?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    The withdrawal method is proven to be 50% effective. Perfect for the hard core gamblin' man.

    I'll probably get flack for this but there is the "morning after" drug, too.
    Dude. So much for the girls happiness.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    I'll probably get flack for this but there is the "morning after" drug, too.
    Been there and she wasn't a happy camper. OOP's sorry!



    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    How about soaking it in cider.
    Just because some things need explaining.

    Soaking it inside her..
    Front Range, Colorado.

  17. #17
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    You take you pants off in a nice warm place, so they are all relaxed. Tape the slug to your belly. Then you grab the bricks, line up by leaning a bit forward and then the timing becomes more important. The bricks. traditional and economical......

    Pleasure to have been helpful

  18. #18
    High Desert MTBer
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    I always swear by the withdrawal method: you whip it out then rush into that brand new cheap kitchen from Warrington... there's a small God that lives behind the cooker who might be receptive to the right prayer...
    It's all Here. Now.

  19. #19
    El Gato Malo
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlonbike View Post
    Dude. So much for the girls happiness.
    She still should be happy, at least she got a dinner and a movie first.

  20. #20
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    For what ever reason, the nurse in charge of slathering my junk with iodine to prep me was smoking hot. Sounds like fun, yes? Far from it. The room was cold as hell and i was terrified. I got to add embarrassed to the emotional trauma of the experience.

    Am i selling you on it? One week of down time, not a big deal.

  21. #21
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    After getting mine done after #4 came along, I couldn't get the lyrics from a Stone Temple Pilot song outta my head, Half the man I used to be. LOL
    2011 Stump Jumper
    2005 Iron Horse Warrior

  22. #22
    ****** to the dirt
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    Think about this, we do it to a lot of dogs and you don't hear them complaining do you.
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    There's some strange folk out there 'bouts. They have no sense of humor.
    http://thewoodgallery.blogspot.ca/

  23. #23
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    Don't dry your padded bike shorts after washing, but instead put them in the freezer. Wear after procedure, alternating with a second pair or a bag of peas. Rinse, repeat.

  24. #24
    On wuss patrol
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    So this is your fiancé? You're not married yet...do you have kids already? If not, do you want kids? Prolly better wait if you do. If not, get snipped. Doesn't take a week to recover and it really, really works.
    Sometimes, you need to go fast enough that the trail is a blur to find clarity. -- Wild Bill

  25. #25
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    Stories of FAIL:

    1. A guy I used to work with had a vasectomy some time after his first marriage ended, before he started dating again. He soon was a 50-yr-old father to a newborn, with a girlfriend who didn't want kids.

    2. My office mate from years ago was the result of a failed vasectomy.

    The common denominator in both cases was Navy corpsmen doing the procedures.

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeBurnsie View Post
    After getting mine done after #4 came along, I couldn't get the lyrics from a Stone Temple Pilot song outta my head, Half the man I used to be. LOL
    Thats funny I don't even know that song but the same thing happened.
    When you've seen someone rupture their scrotum on a bike you won't take the standards for top tube clearance lightly!

  27. #27
    Sleek Jamis Exile Rider
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    Vasectomy alternatives?

    Quote Originally Posted by Glide the Clyde View Post
    So this is your fiancé? You're not married yet...do you have kids already? If not, do you want kids? Prolly better wait if you do. If not, get snipped. Doesn't take a week to recover and it really, really works.
    This. If you don't want to have kids now, you probably will later. There's no going back after a vasectomy.

  28. #28
    heaven help me
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    Quote Originally Posted by random walk View Post
    Stories of FAIL:

    1. A guy I used to work with had a vasectomy some time after his first marriage ended, before he started dating again. He soon was a 50-yr-old father to a newborn, with a girlfriend who didn't want kids.

    2. My office mate from years ago was the result of a failed vasectomy.

    The common denominator in both cases was Navy corpsmen doing the procedures.
    Did they mistake vasectomy for a tattoo?

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadMacMan View Post
    This. If you don't want to have kids now, you probably will later. There's no going back after a vasectomy.
    Wrong you can have a vasovasostomy which is a reversal of the vasectomy.

    Vasectomy Reversal Risks, Success Rates, Results, and More
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    There's some strange folk out there 'bouts. They have no sense of humor.
    http://thewoodgallery.blogspot.ca/

  30. #30
    Ride More, Work Less
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    Have your soon to be wife look at other options to the pill. There are many more female options that are reversible. If you know you don't want to have kids or are through having kids, the big v is here it is at.

  31. #31
    AZ
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    One week of discomfort or 18 years of misery?

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by random walk View Post
    The common denominator in both cases was Navy corpsmen doing the procedures.
    Dang...must've been performed aboard-ship in rough seas.

  33. #33
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    Re: Vasectomy alternatives?

    What about sponges or diaphrams both with jelly. Or IUD. Or... Or... Or...

    No condom numbing the feeling. No crazy gf on medication. No babies.

    Why are condoms, pills, or vasectomy the only options anyone has mentioned?

    There are also many more options available that don't include surgeries or medication for anyone involved.

  34. #34
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    Must reply to this. After child number 2, it was time. Did no research, and the local doc snipped me. While he was attempting to get a good cut at my right Vas, he had to REALLY pull. I felt pain all the way up in my stomach area. But, I toughed it out, trying to "be the man" and "take it for the team." Bad, bad call.

    My surgery was late August 2008. November 2009 a urologist had to go back in to clean as much scar tissue away as possible, and change my right(damaged) Vas to an open ended Vasectomy, in an attempt to relieve the pressure.

    I'll try not to go on for too long, but read this, and really think first. There are WAY too many nerve endings in our reproductive system to be doing any cutting of any kind. Read online...it's not just me.

    I've now been 95% pain-free for 1 year. Yes, it took August 2008 to early 2013 to be able to function as a normal person. Think about my past reality: Horny as hell(as normal) but always in pain. Sex, touching, anything...made it worse, creating a vicious, unstoppable cycle. I actually asked my urologist if there was a "don't want sex" medication to allow my system to stop being hurt over and over. He laughed, with sympathy.

    I was on Celebrex for 3 years to help manage the daily pain, which wreaked havoc on my digestive system. The digestive issues led to needing Pariet, for acid reflux(gerd). Celebrex is a badass drug. Not healthy.

    Basically, I could never have my legs together. So, no playing with my own kids on the floor, NO RIDING, could never get comfy sleeping, in pain all the time.

    I'm 100% dead serious about this, had to reply when saw your thread. If you do decide to go for it, do due diligence and read/educate yourself first. I've read/heard more success from a non-invasive new procedure performed by Dr. Pollack in Vancouver, I'm sure he's not the only one. Google it.

    If only I had LEARNED first. I'd kill to go back in time. Remember, as I type this, I am only 95% good, I still always am a little uncomfortable, but comparatively...and I am able to ride fully again. I do have fear no of the good ol' crash involving testicular torsion/impact of any kind happening, and what could transpire, but I simply cannot not ride. Luckily, I'm an old school XC guy, not into the crazy stuff. We've all had to sit on the side of the trail for 5 minutes, recovering, and if that happened to me again, don't know that it would be good.

    Think, educate, learn. Spread the word. My wife has tremendous guilt over this, still, even thought it wasn't her fault at all. My opinion? DON"T EVER LET ANYONE SNIP ANYTHING THAT GODDAMN SENSITIVE!

    Cheers.
    Andy(littledreamer)

  35. #35
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    Just wow.
    The amount of misinformation on this thread is amazing for a demograph supposedly in their mid 30's. OP asking if they can be sterilized? Seriously?
    In the 21st century, do folks really not know the alternatives, and or the ups and downs of those?

    Kinda fun to wade thru the responses however!
    Cheers!
    Poaching Demo...that's why we can't have nice things...

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by cmdrpiffle View Post
    Just wow.
    The amount of misinformation on this thread is amazing for a demograph supposedly in their mid 30's. OP asking if they can be sterilized? Seriously?
    In the 21st century, do folks really not know the alternatives, and or the ups and downs of those?

    Kinda fun to wade thru the responses however!
    Cheers!
    Did my two responses pass?
    Front Range, Colorado.

  37. #37
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    Lots of misinformation on this thread, but I sure hope you're not referring to my post just above, about my own experiences. Until you walk in these shoes...

  38. #38
    Weird huh?
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Did my two responses pass?

    Oh hells yeah, though I'm sure it sailed past most. That and cyclelicious' .gif of the attempted long jump. Good stuff!
    Poaching Demo...that's why we can't have nice things...

  39. #39
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    Dear God who lives behind the cheap cooker... I am on my way home to the missus after 2 weeks away, and I could sure use a little good luck later on tonight... the pitter-patter of tiny feet is not something I wish to hear again, at least not unless there's 4 of them, so help a guy out please? Thanks Mate!

    There! That should do it!
    It's all Here. Now.

  40. #40
    I Ride Bikes
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    The OP just needs to man up if he is really serious about cutting his baby making fluid. 1 week of pain is really nothing when you look at the bigger picture.

    The other alternative is just being a responsible adult. Use a condom, have your fiance go back on the pill, and still pull out before you blow.



    This is the OC forum....so here is my OC answer:

    Stick it in her butt and blow it in her mouth. Then give her an angry pirate. That always gets a laugh.

    I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!
    INSTAGRAM -> hawaii808MTB
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  41. #41
    gobsmacked Moderator
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    Vasectomy alternatives?

    Quote Originally Posted by cmdrpiffle View Post
    Just wow.
    The amount of misinformation on this thread is amazing for a demograph supposedly in their mid 30's. OP asking if they can be sterilized? Seriously?
    In the 21st century, do folks really not know the alternatives, and or the ups and downs of those?

    Kinda fun to wade thru the responses however!
    Cheers!
    It takes a certain amount of notreallycareness to ask medical or legal questions on a mountain bike forum. So, always always always take what you read on the Internet with a grain of salt. If you don't, well, you're an idiot.

    For those that answer, if we're not allowed to have fun with our answers then we may as well join a road bike forum.

  42. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by AZ View Post
    One week of discomfort or 18 years of misery?
    AZ speaks from some experience here. He had a sex change last year. There's a thread about that here. True story.

  43. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlonbike View Post
    It takes a certain amount of notreallycareness to ask medical or legal questions on a mountain bike forum. So, always always always take what you read on the Internet with a grain of salt. If you don't, well, you're an idiot.

    For those that answer, if we're not allowed to have fun with our answers then we may as well join a road bike forum.
    Kinda like signing up for ObamaCare on the internet, right?

  44. #44
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    If you don't want to use a condom or get your nuts cut
    than don't screw.

  45. #45
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    Re: Vasectomy alternatives?

    Quote Originally Posted by John Kuhl View Post
    If you don't want to use a condom or get your nuts cut
    than don't screw.
    Exactly. There are no other forms of birth control.


  46. #46
    Axe
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    Quote Originally Posted by iscariot View Post
    Exactly. There are no other forms of birth control.

    Essure Home Page


    There are two to the party.


    Also, you can try becoming gay.

    And if it is your fiancee - don't you want to keep options open. Kids and stuff?

  47. #47
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    Vasectomy alternatives?

    My wife and I have talked about a vasectomy, but I'm really not that interested.
    Birth control pills make her nucking futs. She has tried a few of them, all with the same results. She used an IUD for quite a while. That seemed like the easiest, lowest hassle solution, but eventually it became uncomfortable and she pulled it out.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  48. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockerc View Post
    Dear God who lives behind the cheap cooker... I am on my way home to the missus after 2 weeks away, and I could sure use a little good luck later on tonight... the pitter-patter of tiny feet is not something I wish to hear again, at least not unless there's 4 of them, so help a guy out please? Thanks Mate!

    There! That should do it!
    Twins? I'd use an expensive cooker.

  49. #49
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    Bwahaha!!! You kids.
    Menopause has been very good to me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Trail Ninja's Son
    You may be happy to hear that my dad has kicked cancer's ass. Now he's looking for whoever sent it.

  50. #50
    gobsmacked Moderator
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    Vasectomy alternatives?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trail Ninja View Post
    Bwahaha!!! You kids.
    Menopause has been very good to me.
    My condolences. You've experienced any of those hot flashes they talk about?

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