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Thread: Toilet depth

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    Toilet depth

    So I was drinking with some friends last night at home and one of my buddies commented on the new toilet in my bathroom and we got into a discussion about proper shall we say "muzzle" to water distance to avoid the dreaded splash back whilst taking the Browns to the Superbowl.

    My new toilet does seem to have a much deeper bowl than older models which led to someone referencing the English Table of Drops Official Table of Drops - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Do toilet manufacturers take such things into account?

    Sorry if this is disgusting to some but inquiring minds want to know!
    Here is the thing about equality, everyone's equal when they're dead. - Gavroche, Les Misérables

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    Quote Originally Posted by bigkat273 View Post
    So I was drinking with some friends last night at home and one of my buddies commented on the new toilet in my bathroom and we got into a discussion about proper shall we say "muzzle" to water distance to avoid the dreaded splash back whilst taking the Browns to the Superbowl.

    My new toilet does seem to have a much deeper bowl than older models which led to someone referencing the English Table of Drops Official Table of Drops - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Do toilet manufacturers take such things into account?

    Sorry if this is disgusting to some but inquiring minds want to know!

    Now here is an interesting thread. I am not sure if toilet manufacturers reference gallows data when designing their products, but I am of the opinion this is unnecessary when we are dealing with a healthy sphincter/waste interface. As we expel, the sphincter is designed to close in such a way as to leave a certain streamlining on the hind end of the 'product', much the same as when a diver enters the water, so as to minimise any potential for the splashback you mention. God does indeed move in mysterious ways!

    Should we be suffering from increased stress in our lives, or be a fan of the 'back door boogie', there may be instances where some cold water will surprise us, and this is where soothing music, a good book, or gentle heating around the bowl would be a good idea...

    Luckily we do not live in some European countries, where they are still inclined to use the 'inspection platform' toilets, AKA 'the Continental Shelf'. These are designed for perverts and people with no sense of smell.
    It's all Here. Now.

  3. #3
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    My toilet is rated at 2.5 kurics.
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  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockerc View Post
    ... As we expel, the sphincter is designed to close in such a way as to leave a certain streamlining on the hind end of the 'product', much the same as when a diver enters the water, so as to minimise any potential for the splashback you mention. God does indeed move in mysterious ways!...
    I thought the turd was tapered so your azzhole didn't slam shut. Ya learn something every day although I'm not sure of the source.

    Shouldn't this go in the official poop thread? Here we go with duplicate threads again.

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    Zappa

    Why does it hurt when I pee ?

  6. #6
    El Gato Malo
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    Quote Originally Posted by bikeabuser View Post
    Why does it hurt when I pee ?
    and don't eat yellow snow

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    All I know is mine's not deep enough to prevent a sea mount from becoming an island.

  8. #8
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    Toilet depth

    I'm curious about the actual height of the seat. The ones here at work are so low, it's like squatting down. Your ass feels like its scraping the ground.
    The ones at my house (1 year old) feel a little too tall, causing numbness in my legs after only a couple minutes.


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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brewtality View Post
    The ones at my house (1 year old) feel a little too tall, causing numbness in my legs after only a couple minutes.
    Go to your LTS and ask about a professional fitting.
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  10. #10
    Lord Thunderbottom
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockerc View Post
    As we expel, the sphincter is designed to close in such a way as to leave a certain streamlining on the hind end of the 'product', much the same as when a diver enters the water, so as to minimise any potential for the splashback you mention. God does indeed move in mysterious ways!
    So you're telling me that even cavemen were meant to poop in water? hmm, never thought about it like that

    while we're talking about cool toilets, check this out Numi Toilet - Kohler's Most Advanced Toilet | Kohler
    Today I will do what others won't, so tomorrow I can do what others can't

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    Quote Originally Posted by TitanofChaos View Post
    So you're telling me that even cavemen were meant to poop in water? hmm, never thought about it like that

    while we're talking about cool toilets, check this out Numi Toilet - Kohler's Most Advanced Toilet | Kohler
    Very nice indeed. This toilet comes with music, heating, light, speakers, FM turner, and advanced bidet wand. The light is for ambiance but I'd guess a full featured Toilet would have a light for reading and inspection. All for $6500 and change.

  12. #12
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    Pics lead me to believe it also comes with a Hooker.

  13. #13
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    The key is to lean forward a bit to give the "product" more of an angle to enter. Thus, less splashy splashy. That is unless your sputter-butting it. That's like throwing a handful of rocks into the water at once.
    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

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    All I hear is an audio cesspool.

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    According to the "Table of Drops"..
    Giant Growler's need less distance, and hang time than
    Tiny Turd's that must be unleashed from the upper stratosphere.

    Tough to know what you're packing, so for the poop-obsessed OC,
    adjustable height toilets are now available online at Hammlecher & Schlemmer's.

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    I wanted to comment after the original post but.......I think it's all been covered. Flying W had me at "hang time" that was,a vision I didn't need. Insert little dude throwing up here >>>>
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigkat273 View Post
    we got into a discussion about proper shall we say "muzzle" to water distance to avoid the dreaded splash back

    Splash back is the least of my worries, im more concerned with enough clearance from muzzle to water so i dont "stir" the funky liquid.

  18. #18
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    I just wish you could test drive a few models before committing on a purchase.
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRingGrinder View Post
    Splash back is the least of my worries, im more concerned with enough clearance from muzzle to water so i dont "stir" the funky liquid.
    Don't worry, I am pretty sure there are laws stating the water has to be more than an inch from the seat. You should be fine.
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

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    Lol!

  21. #21
    meow meow
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    the key is to shoot one down like a chinese olympic diver.

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    I get a couple calls per year from elderly men who have sagged gonads that hang in the juice. They ask if I can somehow lower the water table so they don't stir the juice.

    Try pulling the refill tube out of the overflow tube. If the flapper closing is timed by the water level the water level will settle lower in the bowl. I actually have gottin quite a following customizing thunder jugs..

    I spend money to advertize in the yellow pages for just these issues..i sometimes question my line of work after 4 years of college..
    lean forward

  23. #23
    Afric Pepperbird
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    What, no "the water's cold", and "deep, too!" jokes??

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    Quote Originally Posted by 1niceride View Post
    I get a couple calls per year from elderly men who have sagged gonads that hang in the juice. They ask if I can somehow lower the water table so they don't stir the juice.

    Try pulling the refill tube out of the overflow tube. If the flapper closing is timed by the water level the water level will settle lower in the bowl. I actually have gottin quite a following customizing thunder jugs..

    I spend money to advertize in the yellow pages for just these issues..i sometimes question my line of work after 4 years of college..
    I wish I would've know this before changing out the whole throne when I first bought this place. The dolphin was checking the seabed everytime I took a seat. Oh well, the seat was too short anyway, like driving a Dodge Neon rental car.
    Ripping trails and tipping ales

  25. #25
    Gor'n Ridin'!
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    My toilet works perfectly or fails depending on the consistency of my movements.

  26. #26
    live long and huck
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    The Numi advert would have been much more realistic if the hooker would have sat down to a healthy sh!t before going out for the evening. And what about the retractable bidet?? It must have some sort of sh!t scraper device, so it doesn't eventually get caked into it's storage area.

    Would have enjoyed also the hooker having her head shoved down into the Numi, while the john was getting his $75 worth.

  27. #27
    live long and huck
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    No offense meant to anybody named John.

    Or hookers.

  28. #28
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    Is that how it's done in the big city? Glass walls, no other furniture, but lets put the toilet here in the living room?
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  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirt farmer View Post
    What, no "the water's cold", and "deep, too!" jokes??
    getting my junk in cold water is no laughing matter.
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

  30. #30
    PRETENDURO
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    Problem with the toilets in my house (three bathrooms—all toilets identical) seem to have been designed for midgets or something, as every time I take a crap, it gets in places where the water is unable to reach. I actually have to strategically align my nether regions such that I’m almost having to gently cup my package up and out of the toilet, otherwise it gets everywhere else. Rather annoying. My wife always complains, but I tell her it’s the fault of the toilet manufacturing company. It’s as if I’m a tall man stuck in a world designed for midgets or something. I know, I know, I can just go and buy better toilets, but I like to think that this leaves me with more money for good beer.
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  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    Is that how it's done in the big city? Glass walls, no other furniture, but lets put the toilet here in the living room?
    With all of the features, it's not a toilet in the living room, it's an entertainment/climate control system that you can take a sh!t in.

  32. #32
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    I'm guessing the retractable bidet works very well. There's no TP to be found anywhere near that thing.
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  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    I'm guessing the retractable bidet works very well. There's no TP to be found anywhere near that thing.
    For the price, the bidet should spritz your duper with champagne.

  34. #34
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    To avoid the dreaded 'splash back' simply time the drop and flush .8 seconds before....





    on another note, anyone ever try to change their poop schedule?
    Quote Originally Posted by misterbill View Post
    You must be really bored if you have read this entire post.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TAOS1 View Post
    anyone ever try to change their poop schedule?
    God no, mine is perfect. Some where between the smell of coffee brewing in the morning and 20 min after the first sip im droppin a pound or two. Never have to deal with the dreaded "oh god i have to **** NOW" out in public.

    In fact.... brb.

  36. #36
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    Toilet depth

    Coffee is a diuretic. It makes you have the go.
    The effect is much stronger with high quality coffees. My home roasted coffees will clear everything out of your system in a hurry.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Its all ****s and Giggles until somebody Giggles and ****s

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    ^ yerp. After years of conditioning even the smell of coffee brewing is enough to start the bowels movin.

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    Knew this thread would
    become all about poop
    so - fire in the hole!

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRingGrinder View Post
    Never have to deal with the dreaded "oh god i have to **** NOW" out in public.
    I have a supply of TP in my camelback for just this reason. Never know for sure when lighting will strike.

  40. #40
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    Re: Toilet depth

    Quote Originally Posted by BigRingGrinder View Post
    God no, mine is perfect. Some where between the smell of coffee brewing in the morning and 20 min after the first sip im droppin a pound or two. Never have to deal with the dreaded "oh god i have to **** NOW" out in public.

    In fact.... brb.
    Too many years flying helocopeters (and not knowing where you'd be) had it trained in similar fashion. Now it's just a convenience.


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  41. #41
    El Gato Malo
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    I've eliminated splash back by performing a coiled rope slow motion release.

  42. #42
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    Toilet depth

    Quote Originally Posted by Wishful Tomcat View Post
    I've eliminated splash back by performing a coiled rope slow motion release.
    AKA The Coiler


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  43. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by brewtality View Post
    aka the coiler

    oh no!!! Not the coiler!!!

  44. #44
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    There's nothing like depositing a nice, easy bucket of eels. No splash, no problem.

  45. #45
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    I hate it when I take a dump and my junk
    gets wet.

  46. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Kuhl View Post
    I hate it when I take a dump and my junk
    gets wet.
    Amen to that. I've been thinking about getting one of those toilet seat risers to keep the package out of the water.

  47. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by nwbikur View Post
    Amen to that. I've been thinking about getting one of those toilet seat risers to keep the package out of the water.
    Jeez! Youse guys must have really small butts to get that far in...
    It's all Here. Now.

  48. #48
    El Gato Malo
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockerc View Post
    Jeez! Youse guys must have really small butts to get that far in...
    or really large bags of rocks

  49. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by TAOS1 View Post
    on another note, anyone ever try to change their poop schedule?
    I have never been more regular than when I ate MREs in the field. I would literally go looking for the shovel and the roll of TP within a five minute time period every night. And yes, I did bring my own roll of TP. That stuff they put in the MREs wasn't worthy of blowing my nose let alone wiping my butt.

  50. #50
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    I personally like clear glass toilets, it adds to the spectating experience of the girl peeing.
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

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