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  1. #276
    Xtreme Lounger
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    I just got back from winning the war against the clogged toilet. Elapsed time ~ 2 hours.

    This was definitely a paper clog. How do I know? Because only the paper went down and all the solid pieces were left floating in the bowl. Grrrr. I didn't even use that much paper, but OK, I can't argue with a crapper.

    I don't have a plunger which is probably for the best in this scenario due to all of the water mines. So I use the little bath trashcan as a bucket and start pouring hot water in the bowl. After about 10 cans full, about 98% of the dissolving action occurred in the bowl rather in the drain. At that point, I basically had a toilet that looked worse than the one from the horror flick Saw. Oh, and did I mention the smell of death in the air?

    What to try next ... hmm ... OK, how about a makeshift snake? I grab an old Jagwire Brake Cable and start fishing it down the toilet. It actually made it pretty far down the drain ... I was getting scary low on spare cable at one point ... but it didn't seem to help. After the cleanup at the end, I noticed I scratched off the enamel paint every place the cable had to go around a turn. Oops. Don't try that one at home, kids.

    A couple more buckets of hot water and now I'm getting desperate. So I consult the oracle of plumbing ... Google. I skip the posts about using hot water and get to one that talks about using Dishwashing soap to help things slide down the drain. So I grab my nearly full bottle of Dawn and head back to the front line. I used about half the bottle and several cans of hot water and wasn't getting anywhere. Sadly, all of the soap and water wasn't even doing anything to remove the accumulating stucco from the sides of the bowl either. Wonderful.

    I rested for about 30 minutes and then headed back for one last assault. I squirted about 30% of the Dawn bottle into the nearly empty bowl and starting pouring hot water in as fast as I could. Finally, the draining action started to speed up. Another 4 or 5 buckets later and the clog was defeated! Then came the 20 minutes of clean up.

    Well, there goes another Saturday night down the drain.

  2. #277
    weirdo
    Reputation: rodar y rodar's Avatar
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    Wow, what an awesome thread! Ordinarilly I don`t go wandering around outside of two or three subforums, but happened to catch the title of this delight while scrolling down the forums overview page and COULD NOT RESIST. Reporting for duty!

    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    Anybody else seem to add 1 and 2 together and get a 3?
    Anybody see the Mork and Mindy epsiode where Mork had reverted to roughly a toddler`s age? He told Mindy he "had to go", and she asked what kind of "go". Mork bowed his head and told her shamefully that he had to go "number four"

    Okay, here`s my own short story, hope I won`t be shunned simply because human poop isn`t involved. A coworker came back to work a few weeks ago after several months of medical leave. For his welcome back present, I made him a pie. Saved one of those pink pastry boxes from the donut shop, collected a nice fresh cowpie and trimmed carefully to fit the box, then decorated it with blue and red Permatex gasket sealer and sprinkled rabbit turds (spray pained red). He loved it! He even left it on his bench that night so that people on the other shifts could have a chance to drop in and check it out (no sampling, please) before he brought it home.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails The  OFFICIAL O/C 'POOP' THREAD......'Get it out of your system'....please..-pie.jpg  

    Recalculating....

  3. #278
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    I've been practicing yoga for a number of years. One of the benefits of certain twisting poses is that it compresses the internal organs that aid in digestion. However the immediate result to all this bending and twisting is farting.

    As long as I've been attending yoga classes someone always let's one go . When it happens I can't ignore the sound of a ripsnorter and sometimes I start to giggle. The truth is I have always found poots funny. In case anyone is contemplating trying yoga... I guarantee it will help keep you regular but it might also produce unexpected air biscuits: from big doozers to silent killers. Thank goodness for lululemon pants and music and be prepared
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  4. #279
    derp
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    Thank goodness for lululemon pants and music and be prepared
    A what now ?
    2006 Cannondale Rush 650b
    2010 Cannondale Trail SL 650b
    2013 Norco Range Killer-B

  5. #280
    I eat cats
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    I've been practicing yoga for a number of years. One of the benefits of certain twisting poses is that it compresses the internal organs that aid in digestion. However the immediate result to all this bending and twisting is farting.

    As long as I've been attending yoga classes someone always let's one go . When it happens I can't ignore the sound of a ripsnorter and sometimes I start to giggle. The truth is I have always found poots funny. In case anyone is contemplating trying yoga... I guarantee it will help keep you regular but it might also produce unexpected air biscuits: from big doozers to silent killers. Thank goodness for lululemon pants and music and be prepared
    AhHahahahaha! Hilarious. I need to spread more rep before giving you some but this post deserves some green. I think my wife would agree that I don't need yoga to move some air.
    Quote Originally Posted by CannondaleF9 View Post
    You see, I don't have a single brand name in my signature because I know most bike brands and component brands 99%.

  6. #281
    see me rollin, they hatin
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    i've done yoga a few times. no poots. as much as i love them, i'm glad i never heard one. i'd probably get kicked out of class for hysterical laughing.

    i was on a bike ride a couple nights ago, and one guy asks the other "what's a one syllable word for a burp that's stuck?" the other guy answers by ripping a long flappity fart (right near my head, because i was sitting down.) i burst out laughing...that fart was wayyy more than one syllable!
    fap

  7. #282
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    Old story but even the rich and famous sometimes can't help it.

    I think the instructor was constipated because in all these years I've never seen anyone get kicked out for laughing... thank goodness, because I'm :"one of those gigglers"


    When in Class, Please Hold the Gas
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  8. #283
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    Ever had one of those days right from the start?
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails The  OFFICIAL O/C 'POOP' THREAD......'Get it out of your system'....please..-poop-meme.jpg  

    I'm enjoying my childhood way too much to ever give it up.

  9. #284
    see me rollin, they hatin
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    Lol Cyclicious! that made me find THIS: (lolling)
    10 Ways To Cover Up Your Yoga Farts
    fap

  10. #285
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    Massive kale shake with my sandwich. Now, it's as if my poo was an Ibis Mojo, and my colon: an epic singletrack after a light rain... flowin'.

  11. #286
    see me rollin, they hatin
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    ^ the green mojo i'm sure
    fap

  12. #287
    Suckin wind like a boss
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    I had a great plate of penne and meat sauce last night, with a couple of pieces of italian sausage thrown in. I woke up to my room smelling like stale farts, and a cup of coffee later I am finally crowning. Good thing I am about to hop in the shower- holding off til the birthing is complete.
    If you arent bleeding, you arent riding hard enough.
    http://about.me/bigterry

    Quote Originally Posted by Hutch3637 View Post
    I don't need sex. My life fvcks me daily.

  13. #288
    weirdo
    Reputation: rodar y rodar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by big terry View Post
    I am finally crowning. Good thing I am about to hop in the shower- holding off til the birthing is complete.
    Dialated to 2cm yet?
    Recalculating....

  14. #289
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    Quote Originally Posted by rodar y rodar View Post
    Dialated to 2cm yet?
    Terry's going to give birth to a brown baby boy.

  15. #290
    Lord Thunderbottom
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    Anyone ever birthed a behemoth so big that you had to grunt out a loud "FREEDOM!!!" like the movie braveheart?

    I know I just did

  16. #291
    No Stranger to danger....
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    Quote Originally Posted by TitanofChaos View Post
    Anyone ever birthed a behemoth so big that you had to grunt out a loud "FREEDOM!!!" like the movie braveheart?

    I know I just did
    Picture, or GTFO.........
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

  17. #292
    see me rollin, they hatin
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    i love this classy thread.
    fap

  18. #293
    No Stranger to danger....
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB28 View Post
    i love this classy thread.
    BWAHAHA, i love it that you love it, it is all class isnt it hehehe
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

  19. #294
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    Should avoid straining, otherwise you could wind up with a rectal prolapse or fistula.

    High fibre food, train your bowels, create a routine. and don't rush it

    My 2 cents
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  20. #295
    Flaccid Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB28 View Post
    i love this classy thread.
    Says the gal with fap in her signature. Get the hand lotion... Frankly, I've never understood why they even named it hand lotion... that's not what men use it for, although it does seem to get on their hand.

    "i'll brazilian when YOU do boy, right around the ol' rusty star. Actually, whole fruit bowl. Get on it!" NicoleB

  21. #296
    No Stranger to danger....
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    Quote Originally Posted by RandyBoy View Post
    Says the gal with fap in her signature. Get the hand lotion... Frankly, I've never understood why they even named it hand lotion... that's not what men use it for, although it does seem to get on their hand.
    LOL, thats all i ever used it for as a young buck lol, never used it for anything else, im just bein honest.....
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

  22. #297
    No Stranger to danger....
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    Should avoid straining, otherwise you could wind up with a rectal prolapse or fistula.

    High fibre food, train your bowels, create a routine. and don't rush it

    My 2 cents
    MWAHAHA Cyclelicious, did you really have to go there ''rectal prolapse or fistula'' lol, this threads really seen it all now.....
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

  23. #298
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    I had a cousin that was bigger than me. And by Filipino standards, he is a whopper.

    One day, he was takin' a sh|t, for, like, 45 min. I even had to do the courtesy knock to be sure he wasn't dead.

    After he finally came out, I asked him if "everything was okay" and he told me, "Hey homie... don't go in there, fool..." (us American Filipinos like to talk ghetto).

    The suspense was killing me, so I went in, lifted the lid, and found something that was about the size of a super burrito, clogging the entire bowl drain. It was massive and girth'y - my scientific guesstimate would be about 3.75" in diameter.

    To this day, it was the largest log I have ever seen. Emotionally scarring, in fact. I could only imagine how large his butthole had to dilate to let that alien life-form out - anything bigger would've required c-section.

    I believe LeMans style breathing would also be required.

  24. #299
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    I fully understand that trauma Dion. I once saw one trailside that was about that diameter and nearly 3' long. It was wound on top of itself into a pile that was bigger than my head with the helmet on. It's really something you just don't recover from easily. Good luck with that.
    I'm enjoying my childhood way too much to ever give it up.

  25. #300
    No Stranger to danger....
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    BWAHAHAHAHA Dion, we have a massive Filipino population here and yes there are a few seriously big boys, i can only imagine the sight that awaited you in that bowl, lol
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

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