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  1. #1
    ~Disc~Golf~
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    Ask Tone's --- (The Aussie that needs no Posse)

    Anything - anything at all (besides bikes)

    It may not be the answer you were lookin' for, or you may need an upside-down dictionary to decipher it , but if you ask, he will answer...
    Honestly... ahh I give up

  2. #2
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    Delll, does the Outback Steak House chain here in the States really re-create the "Outback Dining Experience" for the casual diner?
    Last edited by net wurker; 12-17-2012 at 09:12 PM.
    Rocktoberfest 2014 edit here
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  3. #3
    official eMpTyBRain
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    Delll, why is the weather in So Cal so much better than in Nor Cal?
    Last edited by Hawg; 12-17-2012 at 09:06 PM.
    ...and proud member of the anti-sock puppet desolation

  4. #4
    No Stranger to danger....
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    Ask Tone's --- (The Aussie that needs no Posse)

    After the Ask Tone's thread in the test section that was a triumph of human spirit until it was binned, im assuming it was in the wrong forum, i should have put it in here all along ..
    Basically this is a thread we can work through your problems..

    My areas of trained expertise are as follows.

    Mental Health

    Sexual Health inc, fetish, fantasy, Sexual problems, B&D, Do it yourself, Performance, etc.

    Conflict resolution

    Family issues

    Scams and deception

    Compulsive Disorders OCD

    Financial Advise

    Pets and veterinary issues

    How to kill friends and influence people

    Fashion and trends

    Picking up women or men A-Z

    Crime and Punishment

    Australiana, any questions about Australia.

    Rest assured i am a trained professional in all of these areas above..
    I will be adding to this list as my qualifications grow.
    I understand this is a big responsibility taking on personal issues from the OC, so please be patient as i get to your questions
    So c'mon OC ,dont be shy to air you issues and we can all work through them together..

    Cheers, Dr Tone's
    Last edited by Tone's; 12-17-2012 at 09:24 PM.
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

  5. #5
    Gnarly
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    Tone's what size Uggs do you wear?
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  6. #6
    official eMpTyBRain
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    Gad to see that the Doctor has relocated to a new office. The O/C office is in a much nicer building, IMO.
    ...and proud member of the anti-sock puppet desolation

  7. #7
    mtbr member
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    What's Anthony Gobert doing these days? He truly HAD more talent than Rossi, just couldn't control his demons.

  8. #8
    I build my own.
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    Tone's, do these pants make me look fat?
    I have a device that can access the total knowledge of man. I use it to look at pictures of cats and argue with strangers.

  9. #9
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    Tone's - you don't have to answer this question on here....have you just been kidnapped? Tap once for yes, and twice for no.

    -S

  10. #10
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    Tone's, does the Outback Steak House chain here in the States really re-create the "Outback Dining Experience" for the casual diner?
    Rocktoberfest 2014 edit here
    Rocktoberfest 2014 clips here

  11. #11
    No Stranger to danger....
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    Tone's, does the Outback Steak House chain here in the States really re-create the "Outback Dining Experience" for the casual diner?
    only if you have Dingos that come in and steal babys while families are eating..
    Does it have them.
    if it doesnt its not the real experience..

    Also you need Aboriginals outside playing the didgeridoo, plenty of locals punching on, a few kangas hopping around, the odd wombat, and a bus full of muslims looking like they are casing the steakhouse out.....
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

  12. #12
    Big Gulps, Alright!
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    Tone's, does the Outback Steak House chain here in the States really re-create the "Outback Dining Experience" for the casual diner?
    Yes, please elaborate on the accuracy of the Bloomin Onion...

  13. #13
    No Stranger to danger....
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    Tone's what size Uggs do you wear?
    size 10 Judy, or what ever size i find on the way home after a big night out
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

  14. #14
    Dissolved member
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    Tone's, how do I get rich so I can afford one of them amazing sexual fetishes? Which fetish would you personally recommend and why?

  15. #15
    No Stranger to danger....
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    Tone's, does the Outback Steak House chain here in the States really re-create the "Outback Dining Experience" for the casual diner?
    LOL, at the exact same trime i started this thread, Highdelll very kindly started another ask tones thread, i guess my works cut out for me..

    Basically if you have Dingos on hand that will give the dinner the full aussie experience by stealing their new born children while they eat, this is a good start.
    other things to consider

    Are there Aboriginals outside drinking cask wine and playing the didgeridoo
    Are there mangy looking roos hanging around with them
    Are there any wombats
    Are there any buses of japanese tourists taking photos of people eating inside the steakhouse
    Is there a bus full of muslims casing the place out
    Are there locals abusing the japanese and muslims and telling them to go home

    if so it is a real Aussie experience....
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

  16. #16
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    Tone's,

    What is the best way to clean up after I kill a teenage boy for messing around with a girl in MY house? I figure the store would wonder if I came home with several gallons of bleach, paper towels and a cardboard box for stuffing the body in. If it was my kid I caught, I'd just bury him in the backyard but I don't want to ruin my backyard for this kid.

    In reality..no one will be hurt..Just not happy it happened and the kid isn't allowed back.

  17. #17
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    Well now I'm disappointed.

    The last time we dined at Outback, only three of those conditions were met.
    Rocktoberfest 2014 edit here
    Rocktoberfest 2014 clips here

  18. #18
    Afric Pepperbird
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    Do hairy armpits trump hairy legs (on a broad, of course)?

    Methinks the pit jungles can be sexy. Not so much on the legs.

  19. #19
    No Stranger to danger....
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    Quote Originally Posted by StiHacka View Post
    Tone's, how do I get rich so I can afford one of them amazing sexual fetishes? Which fetish would you personally recommend and why?
    StiHacka, mate i tend to like anything that involves total strangers in strange places, Female public toilets are often very exciting especially if you have a yearning desire to watch and partisipate in girls peeing as i do.
    This is actually a very cheap pastime, you dont need to be rich for this either..

    Another one that i enjoy is shaving down and dressing in rubber from head to toe..
    this can be pricy with the cost of rubber suits these days, but all you need is a can of rubber glue and hundreds of old bike tyres or the old rubber from an outside childrens pool, you have to get creative with these things mate..

    Also, you could just be a 'sniffer' of various items that you can find in the neighbourhood, this is basically cost free and can be a very rewarding and great pastime to be involved in, i myself have many great memories from my years on the sniffing trail, really its endless what you can find to sniff....
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

  20. #20
    official eMpTyBRain
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    I moved this question from another thread...

    Tone's, has a Tasmanian Devil ever successfully swam across the channel to the Mainland?
    ...and proud member of the anti-sock puppet desolation

  21. #21
    Ride More, Whine Less
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    Tone, I really don't have any meaningful questions. I'm just here for the peanut gallery. Continue on.

  22. #22
    No Stranger to danger....
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany1 View Post
    Tone's,

    What is the best way to clean up after I kill a teenage boy for messing around with a girl in MY house? I figure the store would wonder if I came home with several gallons of bleach, paper towels and a cardboard box for stuffing the body in. If it was my kid I caught, I'd just bury him in the backyard but I don't want to ruin my backyard for this kid.

    In reality..no one will be hurt..Just not happy it happened and the kid isn't allowed back.
    LOOK Bethany, ive had to deal with this before a few times.

    STEP 1, clean the garage out, and pretend you are going to paint it, so get the paint out and cover the floor with plastic, over lap it and tape it up

    STEP 2. when the boy comes over, ask him to give you a hand for 5 minutes in the garage, tell him your knees are bad and could he just get that bit youve missed along the ground level.
    While his down there hit him over the head from behind with a baseball bat and keep hitting him untill he is out cold or shows no signs of life..

    STEP 4, you will already have a 44 gallon plastic drum of SULPHURIC ACID that you have been collecting little bit by little bit over the past months.
    WARNING, DO NOT USE HYDROCHLORIC ACID, IT WONT WORK, been there done that, many poorly trained murderer has been let down by hydrochloric acid in the past, dont let it be you Bethany.

    STEP 5, put him in tha drum head first, if you have to cut him up, wait for riggors to set in, this will stop any blood loss, but do it on the plastic sheets, an axe will work fine, but sharpen it first.

    STEP 6, leave him in drum for 2-4 weeks so acid has time to eat through the bones, and all DNA will be gone

    STEP 7, by this stage he will be a black slime, you can poor him down any local drain bit by bit, before rain is better

    STEP 8, Take all your clothes and plastic, put them in the empty drum, take it to a forest, poor petrol in it and set it on fire

    STEP 8 throw a party

    If you have any more questions dont be afraid to ask me.....
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

  23. #23
    parenting for gnarness
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    Is there a Lonely Planet Guidebook that addresses how to handle 6 hour boners caused by listening to accents from Aussie women?

  24. #24
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    Too bad STEP 3 is too secrety to be published here. Perhaps another fetish?

  25. #25
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    Tone's, should I bring a jar of peanut butter to Sti's party this weekend?
    Rocktoberfest 2014 edit here
    Rocktoberfest 2014 clips here

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