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  1. #1
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    I just found out that _______...

    Fill in the blank for a situation that took you by surprise and let us know what you did in response.

    Ready? Set? GO!!!

  2. #2
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    I just found that "thing" I was looking for.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  3. #3
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    I just found a piece of space junk in my back yard.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  4. #4
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    There is a huge spill/stain in front of one of my Offices doors.
    (did post a pic, but I just brought up the laptop barebones.)

  5. #5
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    I just found out that _______...

    Timothy Leary is dead.

    Dropped three hits of Orange Sunshine in his honor.
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  6. #6
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    Whoa......look at my hands!
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  7. #7
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    The girl next door is pregnant.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    Whoa......look at my hands!
    "Happy Trails"! (Dunno why they said that. Crazy Hippies.)

  9. #9
    I'm just messing with you
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    Whoa......look at my hands!
    Too soon. You haven't had time to work up to a good puke yet.
    Chasing bears through the woods drunk with a dull hatchet is strongly not advised

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boyonadyke View Post
    The girl next door is pregnant.
    The girl with kaleidoscope eyes?
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  11. #11
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    To happy to puke.....
    Attached Images Attached Images  
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  12. #12
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    ...I shouldn't have eaten so much of the chili I was making last night!

  13. #13
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    Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird.......no, it's a plane........wait....WTF, it's Lucy.
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  14. #14
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    And is she wearing a diamond necklace?
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  15. #15
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    Hawg, picture yourself in a boat on a river.
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  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    Hawg, picture yourself in a boat on a river.
    Trying to but I need a little help with the details.

    Please continue...

  17. #17
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    A pregnant chick calls out to you.....
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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    Trying to but I need a little help with the details.

    Please continue...
    Think the Colorado River, with live shad in the bait tank for candy. And you are wearing your hook as an earring with a huge birdsnest in your bait caster with your feet swimming in empty beer cans in the bottom of the boat while women wearing no more than 3 square inches of bikini fabric drift by you on the decks of boats. You offer to help them apply baby oil... Then you wake up from your dream.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boyonadyke View Post
    Think the Colorado River, with live shad in the bait tank for candy. And you are wearing your hook as an earring with a huge birdsnest in your bait caster with your feet swimming in empty beer cans in the bottom of the boat while women wearing no more than 3 square inches of bikini fabric drift by you on the decks of boats. You offer to help them apply baby oil... Then you wake up from your dream.
    With a wet spot and in need of a cold shower?

  20. #20
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    Climb in the back with your head in the clouds, and you're gone.
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  21. #21
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    Now picture yourself on a train in a station....
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  22. #22
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    trying, but I need help...

  23. #23
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    .......plasticine porters ...... looking glass ties.......suddenly, the pregnant chick shows up at the turnstyle.
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  24. #24
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    Oprah is a tranny.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    suddenly, the pregnant chick shows up at the turnstyle.
    ...asking for Randy. Where's Randy??? He has some parental responsibility papers to sign.

  26. #26
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    Last time he eats marshmallow pie, I'll bet.
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  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slow Danger View Post
    Oprah is a tranny.
    Automatic or manual.

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by norton55 View Post
    Automatic or manual.
    You'll have to talk to the dealership.

  29. #29
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  30. #30
    see me rollin, they hatin
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    i just found out that i stuck my hand down some dude's pants when i was completely shitfaced. i do not remember this.
    fap

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    i just found out that i stuck my hand down some dude's pants when i was completely shitfaced. i do not remember this.
    Hey, it could happen to anyone.

  32. #32
    see me rollin, they hatin
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    has it happened to you?

    no more drinking like that for me! (i told myself that a few months ago after the famous shitshow of 2013)

    i was mere millimeters from givin him a tug. i wanted proof, and sadly there were witnesses.
    fap

  33. #33
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    ^my buddy said he was drunk but swears this girl stuck her hands down his box o junk!...nah couldn't have been..

  34. #34
    I'm just messing with you
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    Chasing bears through the woods drunk with a dull hatchet is strongly not advised

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    has it happened to you?
    no more drinking like that for me! (i told myself that a few months ago after the famous shitshow of 2013)
    i was mere millimeters from givin him a tug. i wanted proof, and sadly there were witnesses.
    As long as it wasn't a relative, no harm-no foul.
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  36. #36
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    Here's the pic.


  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    As long as it wasn't a relative, no harm-no foul.
    as long as there are no charges filed or the popo is not called.

  38. #38
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    you can die laughing.


  39. #39
    9 lives
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    That's an interesting carpet stain. Any idea what it could be?
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  40. #40
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    I just found out that those cardboard Chinese food take-out boxes fold out into a plate.
    Quote Originally Posted by Trail Ninja's Son
    You may be happy to hear that my dad has kicked cancer's ass. Now he's looking for whoever sent it.

  41. #41
    A waste of time it is is
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    well they did come up with origami (well close)

  42. #42
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    Hardtails are better on smooth trails. Science biatch.

  43. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trail Ninja View Post
    I just found out that those cardboard Chinese food take-out boxes fold out into a plate.
    I'm getting Chinese takeout tonight after reading this.

  44. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    That's an interesting carpet stain. Any idea what it could be?
    Looks like Janitorial had a leak in in their Trash can after servicing the Suite last night. It started in the Breakroom inside the doors.

  45. #45
    I'm just messing with you
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    I just found out that there is a cult called "Breatharians" whoe believe that humans can survive without food or water—they get all the nutrients they need from air and sunlight. When Michelle Pfeiffer Joined the Breatharians Cult
    Chasing bears through the woods drunk with a dull hatchet is strongly not advised

  46. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by norton55 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Slow Danger View Post
    Oprah is a tranny.
    Automatic or manual.
    Either way, she needs her fluid flushed.

  47. #47
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    Upset I just found out that

    the ultrasound of my kidneys was "almost" negative.

  48. #48
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    I just found out that if it seems like everything sucks it's probably true.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  49. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    has it happened to you?

    no more drinking like that for me! (i told myself that a few months ago after the famous shitshow of 2013)

    i was mere millimeters from givin him a tug. i wanted proof, and sadly there were witnesses.
    Hey, wait a minute, you just said you don't remember anything, yet you've got some details and reasoning.

  50. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dirty $anchez View Post
    Hardtails are better on smooth trails. Science biatch.
    You mean you just found this out??? I guess eMpTyBeeR is good for something after all.

  51. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    You mean you just found this out??? I guess eMpTyBeeR is good for something after all.
    Zinger!!
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  52. #52
    ...but I'm a Silly Hunter
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    ...a Grow Operation is not euphemism for Gay Man Sex after Penis Elongation surgery; or even Re-attachment Surgery. It's Marijuana!!

    Drugs are soooo bad.
    I like Sand - I don't like Witches


  53. #53
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    I just found out that...


    reason why da womenz really like me.

  54. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flyin_W View Post
    I just found out that...


    reason why da womenz really like me.
    Why because you have proportionately short legs.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  55. #55
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    Is there a new term the wimminz are using now?

    "I bet he could lick the peanut butter from the bottom of the jar".
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  56. #56
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    I think it is the long snout
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    There's some strange folk out there 'bouts. They have no sense of humor.
    My Blog

  57. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    Is there a new term the wimminz are using now?

    "I bet he could lick the peanut butter from the bottom of the jar".
    I invented that.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  58. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    has it happened to you?
    See my post about finding out Oprah is a tranny.

  59. #59
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    I think that dogs nickname is Gene Simmons. We should ask Cher?

  60. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boyonadyke View Post
    I think that dogs nickname is Gene Simmons. We should ask Cher?
    You don't think he uses that thing on his PMOY wife, Shannon???

  61. #61
    Hi There!
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    My 15 year old daughter has a Facebook page. Haven't decided what to do about it yet.
    NTFTC

  62. #62
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    Re: I just found out that _______...

    Quote Originally Posted by thegweed View Post
    My 15 year old daughter has a Facebook page. Haven't decided what to do about it yet.
    2009 called. It wants it's first world problems back.

    Naw but seriously, Facebook sucks and she will probably realize that before you decide what to do about it.
    The leg bone's connected to the Cash Bone!

  63. #63
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    Well, I think I'm finally coming down off those three hits of Orange Sunshine......sort of.....

    <iframe src="//player.vimeo.com/video/78877336?color=ffffff" width="700" height="394" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen></iframe> <p><a href="http://vimeo.com/78877336">goriding</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/morgan48">Clay Morgan</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>
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  64. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    I just found out that _______...

    Timothy Leary is dead.

    Dropped three hits of Orange Sunshine in his honor.
    Well, I hope you thanked Bear for coming up with the better recipes!
    "We LOVE cows! They make trails for us.....

    And then we eat them."

  65. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    Well, I think I'm finally coming down off those three hits of Orange Sunshine......sort of.....

    <iframe src="//player.vimeo.com/video/78877336?color=ffffff" width="700" height="394" frameborder="0" webkitallowfullscreen mozallowfullscreen allowfullscreen></iframe> <p><a href="http://vimeo.com/78877336">goriding</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/morgan48">Clay Morgan</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>
    That was EPIC!!! Completely threw me for a loop. Prolly cuz I wasn't "all high".

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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    i just found out that i stuck my hand down some dude's pants when i was completely shitfaced. i do not remember this.
    Me thinks that's someone "projecting" their wishes your way. I don't care how shitfaced I've been, I always remembered getting in to something strange.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boyonadyke View Post
    Me thinks that's someone "projecting" their wishes your way. I don't care how shitfaced I've been, I always remembered getting in to something strange.
    "strange"?

  68. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by rideit View Post
    Well, I hope you thanked Bear for coming up with the better recipes!
    I would thank him personally if Tone's didn't fataly run him off the road a couple years ago.


    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    That was EPIC!!!
    Thanks! I think I'm fully grounded now.
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    Thanks! I think I'm fully grounded now.
    Ummm, which one of you?

  70. #70
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    That prunes are dried plumbs.

    It was actually a few years ago but I was well in to my 30's when I found out.
    I'm sick of all the Irish stereotypes, as soon as I finish this beer I"m punching someone

  71. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    Ummm, which one of you?
    If you're trying to "talk me down" off this acid, well, you're doing it wrong!
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  72. #72
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    I just found out that _______...

    I'm a Lana Del Rey fan.

    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/2KXRhc9ksnw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    rOCktoberfest 2015 pt I here
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  73. #73
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    I just found out that there's a little gas pump handle symbol on your gas gauge of your car. Yes this little picture of a gas pump handle faces in the direction that your gas tank is on. If your gas tank is on the left of your car the little handle faces to the left. Vice versa for right. I found this out several years ago but was reminded because I informed a friend about it today while she pulled in not knowing what side her new cars tank was on.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    I just found out that there's a little gas pump handle symbol on your gas gauge of your car. Yes this little picture of a gas pump handle faces in the direction that your gas tank is on. If your gas tank is on the left of your car the little handle faces to the left. Vice versa for right. I found this out several years ago but was reminded because I informed a friend about it today while she pulled in not knowing what side her new cars tank was on.
    I will be testing your fact first thing in the morning on not one, but two cars. We'll see...

  75. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    I will be testing your fact first thing in the morning on not one, but two cars. We'll see...
    I will look forward to your test results. And raise you a $100.sir.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    I will look forward to your test results. And raise you a $100.sir.
    You're tempting me to put my damned clothes back on and run down to the damned garage right now!

  77. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    You're tempting me to put my damned clothes back on and run down to the damned garage right now!
    Well it's been damned twenty minutes damnitt. It doesn't take that damn long to run out to the damn garage and get back to the damn keyboard and give us your damn findings.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  78. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Well it's been damned twenty minutes damnitt. It doesn't take that damn long to run out to the damn garage and get back to the damn keyboard and give us your damn findings.
    It will probably be as long as it take you to find a good vacation place.
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
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  79. #79
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    [QUOTE=deke505;10800514]It will probably be as long as it take you to find a good vacation place.[QUOTE]

    Oh sure kick a man while he's down. You don't think I've been in agony pondering over the enormous amount of vacation choices that is put before me. I feel like I'm getting closer to my decision with each passing day.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Well it's been damned twenty minutes damnitt. It doesn't take that damn long to run out to the damn garage and get back to the damn keyboard and give us your damn findings.
    Hey, hey, don't rush me. You know damned well how long it takes to make an important decision, don't you?

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    [QUOTE=DIRTJUNKIE;10800535][QUOTE=deke505;10800514]It will probably be as long as it take you to find a good vacation place.

    Oh sure kick a man while he's down. You don't think I've been in agony pondering over the enormous amount of vacation choices that is put before me. I feel like I'm getting closer to my decision with each passing day.
    Glad to here that you are "getting closer with each passing day". Let's just hope that you decide before your days run out.

  82. #82
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    [QUOTE=Hawg;10800550][QUOTE=DIRTJUNKIE;10800535]
    Quote Originally Posted by deke505 View Post
    It will probably be as long as it take you to find a good vacation place.

    Glad to here that you are "getting closer with each passing day". Let's just hope that you decide
    before your days run out.
    Well if that happens to be the case well be it. At least I will die a dignified death knowing I didn't make a hasty vacation decision like the rest of you rimrods vacationing in the Bahamas.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  83. #83
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    I just found out the difference between flammable and inflammable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dirt farmer View Post
    I just found out the difference between flammable and inflammable.
    Were you in General or Passion?

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    [QUOTE=DIRTJUNKIE;10800585][QUOTE=Hawg;10800550]
    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post

    Well if that happens to be the case well be it. At least I will die a dignified death knowing I didn't make a hasty vacation decision like the rest of you rimrods vacationing in the Bahamas.
    On the head stone at your grave, it will read "always remembered as the guy who couldn't decide".

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    So Hawg, do you owe DJ ahun dird bux?
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    I just found out that there's a little gas pump handle symbol on your gas gauge of your car. Yes this little picture of a gas pump handle faces in the direction that your gas tank is on. If your gas tank is on the left of your car the little handle faces to the left. Vice versa for right. I found this out several years ago but was reminded because I informed a friend about it today while she pulled in not knowing what side her new cars tank was on.
    The gas tank fillup is always on the opposite side of the exhaust pipe on single exhaust systems. Don't need a stinking gauge to tell you that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boyonadyke View Post
    The gas tank fillup is always on the opposite side of the exhaust pipe on single exhaust systems. Don't need a stinking gauge to tell you that.
    Yeah, but ask forty chicks "what side of the car does your exhaust exit on?" and you'll likely get forty "I dunno" responses. So they would still be in the same boat when pulling up to the gas pumps.

    BTW, DJ's claim, it is true on my 2004 F-150.

    I learned something today!
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirt farmer View Post
    I just found out the difference between flammable and inflammable.
    Aloe vera might help with the after-effects of that discovery!

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    [QUOTE=Hawg;10800914][QUOTE=DIRTJUNKIE;10800585]
    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post

    ... the head stone at your grave...
    ____
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails I just found out that _______...-dj-tomb.jpg  

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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    So Hawg, do you owe DJ ahun dird bux?
    I will answer that question as soon as DJ answers another question he was asked a long time ago...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    I will answer that question as soon as DJ answers another question he was asked a long time ago...
    And what would that be sir? If I approve of my indecisive saying on my headstone.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

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    "Here lies a Dirt Junkie, he never got his last vacation fix."

  94. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    Yeah, but ask forty chicks "what side of the car does your exhaust exit on?" and you'll likely get forty "I dunno" responses. So they would still be in the same boat when pulling up to the gas pumps.

    BTW, DJ's claim, it is true on my 2004 F-150.



    I learned something today!

    ^^^ Obviously it's that way for those with a gas side learning disability. We won't name names. And Boyonadyke what happen's if someone customized the vehicle and put dual exhaust on it, then your screwed.

    Net good job on my headstone I'll let my loved ones know your my choice in tombstone creation when it comes time.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    .... when it comes time.....
    Hopefully that will be later rather than sooner!
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    Hopefully that will be later rather than sooner!
    I think custom headstone engravings would be fun for everyone here.

    What would mine say????

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    Yours will say "apparently, he couldn't take a mountain lion, after all".
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boyonadyke View Post
    The gas tank fillup is always on the opposite side of the exhaust pipe on single exhaust systems. Don't need a stinking gauge to tell you that.
    hard to tell what side your exhaust is on inside the vehicle oh or is that something we should now about our car
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by net wurker View Post
    Yours will say "apparently, he couldn't take a mountain lion, after all".
    now you need to do one for every one. ya now share.
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
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  100. #100
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    Deke, how do you want to go? Sky-diving accident?

    Here's Hawgs.

    Hawg, just for reference....Hawg's All About Bikes Thread, Vol. 4

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