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  1. #1
    I Ride Bikes
    Reputation: Mazukea's Avatar
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    The Human Juicer

    Call me the Human Juicer.


    I've been pissing out my ass for the past 2 days. I think I have some serious food poisoning or mild stomach flu.

    Anyways, I eat, then it just comes shooting out my butt like brown juice. It actually reminds me of juicing.

    THE GOOD NEWS is that I lost my "holiday" weight in just 36 hours. Awesome!
    I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!

  2. #2
    fresh fish in stock...... SuperModerator
    Reputation: CHUM's Avatar
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    Visit these 2 places to help advance trail access:
    http://www.sharingthepct.org/
    http://www.facebook.com/SharingThePct

  3. #3
    I Ride Bikes
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    We're talking diarrhea here, not SpaceBalls.

    Unless we are talking about the space between your balls and the anus, the gooch. Which could be relevant...somehow.

    After I get off the crapper, I'll figure it out.
    I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!

  4. #4
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    I got the same thing over the weekend and just getting over it now.

    Fun.

  5. #5
    I Ride Bikes
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    yeah I'm almost in recovery mode. The worst of it has passed....I hope.
    I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!

  6. #6
    fresh fish in stock...... SuperModerator
    Reputation: CHUM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazukea View Post
    We're talking diarrhea here, not SpaceBalls.

    Unless we are talking about the space between your balls and the anus, the gooch. Which could be relevant...somehow.

    After I get off the crapper, I'll figure it out.
    no

    me barf you human Cuisinart




    blech.
    Visit these 2 places to help advance trail access:
    http://www.sharingthepct.org/
    http://www.facebook.com/SharingThePct

  7. #7
    Bro
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    I have about a gallon of milk and about a half dozen eggs that have passed their date. Right now they seem fine and so do I, but maybe I'll soon be joining you on the crapper, Maz.
    I've made some bad decisions like taking the gears off my bike. So here's the warning: Do not as I say, nor as I do.

  8. #8
    Ride More, Whine Less
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    We need to start a support group around here. The flu has me down a few pounds

  9. #9
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    At least I don't feel SO bad about being a biatch on my ride on Saturday. Was stopping halfway up climbs complaining like a baby and came home feeling like ass only to find out why. (speaking of ass.)

  10. #10
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    Yeah, I just got over it. Friday and Saturday were the worst for me. I sat on the can pretty much every hour all day long. It's not a lot of fun, that's for sure.

  11. #11
    I Ride Bikes
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    Quote Originally Posted by CHUM View Post
    no

    me barf you human Cuisinart




    blech.
    Don't be jealous.

    Juicing is good for you. It really cleans out the system
    I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!

  12. #12
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    Have it too. Great weight loss strategy as long as you dont mind being on deaths doorstep.

  13. #13
    I Ride Bikes
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    Wow, I didn't expect this many peeps to be juicing like me.
    I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!

  14. #14
    they took the bar
    Reputation: javelina1's Avatar
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    and I winced before clicking on this thread.... should've followed my better instincts...

    (hope all is well at this point).

  15. #15
    official eMpTyBRain
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    You sick bastages need to drink A LOT of WATER!!!

    Love, Dr. 'hawg
    ...and proud member of the anti-sock puppet desolation

  16. #16
    I Ride Bikes
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    Thanks Doc.

    I'm happy to report that the juicing might be done. I'm more like a food processor now.
    I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!

  17. #17
    PRETENDURO
    Reputation: Leopold Porkstacker's Avatar
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    I make a habit of eating a couple raw habañeros every day with the food that I eat, so viscosity concerns are never, well, concerns– things come out easier than they used to, but not sort of a “critical mass in the reactor core” sense; I don’t have an explosive liquid discharge cascading out my anus. Perhaps my body has adjusted to the liquid fire?
    QUOTE from MTBR.COM: You have given Brewtality too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later.

  18. #18
    mtbr member
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    I usually hear of it being referred to as...


  19. #19
    I Ride Bikes
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    Hmm...a salad shooter is way too "chunky" to describe what I had.

    Pissing is the best way to describe it. If I sat in a man's urinal, then proceeded to crap, it would still go down the drain.
    I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!

  20. #20
    mtbr member
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    So where does the pulp come out from then? !!

  21. #21
    I Ride Bikes
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    pulp, there was no pulp. That was the weirdest part. Then again, I did revert to a liquid diet for a day.

    I started eating crackers yesterday and today I had some cornbread. Tomorrow is solid food time!
    I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!

  22. #22
    humber river advocate
    Reputation: singlesprocket's Avatar
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    might help

    Support TORBA
    Sunnyside Bike Park Working Group
    Albion Hills Conservation Area Master Plan Public Advisory Committee

  23. #23
    mtbr member
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    Rice. Eat rice. It will stiffen things up. Yogurt helps as well.

    And I like the term 'crapping through a keyhole at 50yards and not hitting either side'. That's when you really have the squirts.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  24. #24
    see me rollin, they hatin
    Reputation: NicoleB's Avatar
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    so there's a flu, a stomach sickness, and a terrible cold going around? i think i just need to live in a bubble for a few months
    fap

  25. #25
    Ride More, Whine Less
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    Is this where we have our weight loss posted? I'm down 6 pounds this week

    The combination of no appetite and dehydration works like magic.

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