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The Human Juicer
Call me the Human Juicer.
I've been pissing out my ass for the past 2 days. I think I have some serious food poisoning or mild stomach flu.
Anyways, I eat, then it just comes shooting out my butt like brown juice. It actually reminds me of juicing. 
THE GOOD NEWS is that I lost my "holiday" weight in just 36 hours. Awesome!
I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!
INSTAGRAM -> hawaii808MTB
FACEBOOK -> Big Island Mountain Biking
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fresh fish in stock......
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We're talking diarrhea here, not SpaceBalls.
Unless we are talking about the space between your balls and the anus, the gooch. Which could be relevant...somehow.
After I get off the crapper, I'll figure it out.
I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!
INSTAGRAM -> hawaii808MTB
FACEBOOK -> Big Island Mountain Biking
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I got the same thing over the weekend and just getting over it now.
Fun.
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yeah I'm almost in recovery mode. The worst of it has passed....I hope.
I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!
INSTAGRAM -> hawaii808MTB
FACEBOOK -> Big Island Mountain Biking
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fresh fish in stock......
SuperModerator
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 Originally Posted by Mazukea
We're talking diarrhea here, not SpaceBalls.
Unless we are talking about the space between your balls and the anus, the gooch. Which could be relevant...somehow.
After I get off the crapper, I'll figure it out.
no 
me barf you human Cuisinart

blech.
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I have about a gallon of milk and about a half dozen eggs that have passed their date. Right now they seem fine and so do I, but maybe I'll soon be joining you on the crapper, Maz.
Sometimes, I question the value of my content.
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We need to start a support group around here. The flu has me down a few pounds
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At least I don't feel SO bad about being a biatch on my ride on Saturday. Was stopping halfway up climbs complaining like a baby and came home feeling like ass only to find out why. (speaking of ass.)
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Yeah, I just got over it. Friday and Saturday were the worst for me. I sat on the can pretty much every hour all day long. It's not a lot of fun, that's for sure.
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 Originally Posted by CHUM
no
me barf you human Cuisinart
blech.
Don't be jealous.
Juicing is good for you. It really cleans out the system
I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!
INSTAGRAM -> hawaii808MTB
FACEBOOK -> Big Island Mountain Biking
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Have it too. Great weight loss strategy as long as you dont mind being on deaths doorstep.
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Wow, I didn't expect this many peeps to be juicing like me.
I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!
INSTAGRAM -> hawaii808MTB
FACEBOOK -> Big Island Mountain Biking
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and I winced before clicking on this thread.... should've followed my better instincts... 
(hope all is well at this point).
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You sick bastages need to drink A LOT of WATER!!!
Love, Dr. 'hawg
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Thanks Doc.
I'm happy to report that the juicing might be done. I'm more like a food processor now.
I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!
INSTAGRAM -> hawaii808MTB
FACEBOOK -> Big Island Mountain Biking
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I make a habit of eating a couple raw habañeros every day with the food that I eat, so viscosity concerns are never, well, concerns– things come out easier than they used to, but not sort of a “critical mass in the reactor core” sense; I don’t have an explosive liquid discharge cascading out my anus. Perhaps my body has adjusted to the liquid fire?
one by nine works just fine but single speed is all ya need
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I usually hear of it being referred to as...
<iframe width="640" height="480" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lvL-I3Dfeqc" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
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Hmm...a salad shooter is way too "chunky" to describe what I had.
Pissing is the best way to describe it. If I sat in a man's urinal, then proceeded to crap, it would still go down the drain.
I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!
INSTAGRAM -> hawaii808MTB
FACEBOOK -> Big Island Mountain Biking
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So where does the pulp come out from then? !!
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pulp, there was no pulp. That was the weirdest part. Then again, I did revert to a liquid diet for a day.
I started eating crackers yesterday and today I had some cornbread. Tomorrow is solid food time!
I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!
INSTAGRAM -> hawaii808MTB
FACEBOOK -> Big Island Mountain Biking
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might help 
broadcasting from
"the vinyl basement"
build trail!
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Rice. Eat rice. It will stiffen things up. Yogurt helps as well.
And I like the term 'crapping through a keyhole at 50yards and not hitting either side'. That's when you really have the squirts.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits
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so there's a flu, a stomach sickness, and a terrible cold going around? i think i just need to live in a bubble for a few months
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Is this where we have our weight loss posted? I'm down 6 pounds this week
The combination of no appetite and dehydration works like magic.
Craigslist & MTBR --free ads for all
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banned
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Man I am confused.... I thought the Human Juicer was some gal in Las Vegas with a pimp and all. Ya never know what you are gonna get when you open up a thread in the OC. Ya know, Led Zeppelin, The Lemon Song, and all that.
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I lost 5 lbs in the first 36 hours. I put a pound back on already. Mostly water weight.
I like to hug trees at FULL SPEED!
INSTAGRAM -> hawaii808MTB
FACEBOOK -> Big Island Mountain Biking
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 Originally Posted by freighttrainuphill
I'm 6 pounds lighter this week too, but it's probably because the monthly mess is over  .
The last time I had stomach flu (years ago luckily!) it was coming out both ends simultaneously. Barfing in a bucket, liquid shyt in the toilet. Great fun!  
i think they call that the "screamin eagle". Still hasnt happened to me yet. i've had false alarms though, holding the bucket....i think it's my issue with puking. i cant bring myself to do it. i have to be violently ill to throw up, my body tries so hard to stop it, even if i should just puke and get it over with. i remember my parents thought i was eating mushrooms out of the yard as a kid (i wasnt) and they gave me ipecac. it was unsuccessful for hours. i held out a lonng time!
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