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  1. #1
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    "Chicken Soup"

    Last edited by DIRTJUNKIE; 10-05-2013 at 01:26 PM. Reason: Freedom of speech.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  2. #2
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    I remember that one.

  3. #3
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    For chickens, go no further than Burger King's subservient chicken
    The Subservient Chicken - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


    or the Big Buckin' Chicken!!!

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  4. #4
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    I love chickens (hens and roosters) ... they are right up there with goats, and monkeys

    One of my favs :"I don't want to be a pie"

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  5. #5
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    So Cyclelicious that turns this thread in to the "Official" Chicken / Rooster thread. So now we can add this one in right along side the monkey thread. And the infamous Raccoon thread. Hell we have a something, a nothing, a ing, and a one word thread. With all these why not get some animal threads rolling as well.
    Last edited by DIRTJUNKIE; 04-23-2013 at 04:49 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  6. #6
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    I say yes to chickens!

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  7. #7
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    A horse and a chicken....

    Were playing in a meadow.
    The horse fell into a mud hole and is started to sink. The horse instructed the chicken to get the farmer so that he could be pulled to safety. The chicken ran to the farm but the farmer was nowhere to be found....

    Without a moment to spare,the chicken got into the farmer's BMW and drove back to the mud hole. Then, the chicken tied some rope around the bumper, threw the other end of the rope to her friend, the horse, and proceeded to pull the horse to safety.

    A few days later, the chicken and the horse were playing in the meadow again. This time around, the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken instructed the horse to get the farmer so that she could be pulled to safety.

    Replied the horse, "Here's the plan... I'll stand over the hole..." The horse stretched over the length of the hole and continued, "Now, just grab for my penis and pull yourself to safety."

    The chicken obliged reluctantly and pulled herself to safety.



    The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

    -ba-dum-tssshhh-o.jpg
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    Once had chickens for neighbors, and much prefer them on a plate.


  9. #9
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    Why does a chicken coop have only 2 doors?

    Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wishful Tomcat View Post
    Why does a chicken coop have only 2 doors?

    Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan
    Nice!

    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    A horse and a chicken....

    Were playing in a meadow.
    The horse fell into a mud hole and is started to sink. The horse instructed the chicken to get the farmer so that he could be pulled to safety. The chicken ran to the farm but the farmer was nowhere to be found....

    Without a moment to spare,the chicken got into the farmer's BMW and drove back to the mud hole. Then, the chicken tied some rope around the bumper, threw the other end of the rope to her friend, the horse, and proceeded to pull the horse to safety.

    A few days later, the chicken and the horse were playing in the meadow again. This time around, the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken instructed the horse to get the farmer so that she could be pulled to safety.

    Replied the horse, "Here's the plan... I'll stand over the hole..." The horse stretched over the length of the hole and continued, "Now, just grab for my penis and pull yourself to safety."

    The chicken obliged reluctantly and pulled herself to safety.



    The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    Ha,ha that's great.


    You as well FlyinW..[/LIST]
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  11. #11
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  12. #12
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    Ha,ha ^^^
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  13. #13
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    Let's not forget the super hero....Super Chicken!!!

    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/FKss2pBYQ6Y" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

  14. #14
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    ^ Those Chef Ramsey memes crack me up

    Here's some anti-chicken memes

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    F*ck Cancer

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  15. #15
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    The one who started the whole sports mascot phenomen. The famous San Diego Chicken.
    The San Diego Chicken - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Some of his best bits The Chicken's Greatest Bits Part 1 - YouTube

    And the bit that got him sued by the owners of the Barney character. But he won, the judge said it was a legal parody and no infringement rights were crossed. Hilarious Check it out. San Diego Chicken Barney dance off - YouTube
    Last edited by DIRTJUNKIE; 04-24-2013 at 10:10 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  16. #16
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    Why does it suck to be an egg? Because you only get laid once and it's by your mother.

  17. #17
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    I would have been too chicken to tell that joke.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    I would have been too chicken to tell that joke.
    Was told to me by a 10 year old. Pretty funny when he told it.

    Edit: plus it's the only chicken joke I know.

  19. #19
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    buffalo wings are my #1 favorite food. waaay too surios to joke about.

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by b-kul View Post
    buffalo wings are my #1 favorite food. waaay too surios to joke about.
    Buffalos don't have wings, I bet I could sell you sand in the desert. Besides this is a chicken thread not a Buffalo thread. If you desire open your own Buffalo thread. Jeez!
    This post reminds me of this gem from Jessica Simpson. Jessica Simpson and her fish or chicken tuna - YouTube
    Last edited by DIRTJUNKIE; 04-25-2013 at 05:38 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  21. #21
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    "BOOK, BOOOK, BOOOOK"

    <a href="http://s1278.photobucket.com/user/mudbunny1/media/5SCuezg_zps906338d4.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1278.photobucket.com/albums/y511/mudbunny1/5SCuezg_zps906338d4.jpg" border="0" alt=" photo 5SCuezg_zps906338d4.jpg"/></a>
    F*ck Cancer

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  22. #22
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    Cyclelicious, that's hilarious and apparently I have been blocked from ever being able to rep you again. I have been trying for months. This new system SUCKS. We return now to our regularly scheduled program "chicken talk".
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  23. #23
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    Better yet Jessica Alba playing Jessica Simpson "Chicken Of The Sea" Jessica Alba Playing Jessica Simpson on Mad Tv - YouTube
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  24. #24
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    Chickens in choppers, but I won't post that video again.

    Damn it, it's a good song that doesn't get enough airplay

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  25. #25
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    Cows with guns, just the title scares me.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  26. #26
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    Slams were $2.99? Damn, I barely remember those days.
    2012 Rockhopper 29er.

  27. #27
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    Back on topic....

    What does a chicken man look like.
    Got that Chicken by Tommy Chunn - YouTube
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by John Kuhl View Post
    I remember that one.
    Same here, that was great. Thanks for digging that up D.J. And you can count me in I Love Chickens.

  29. #29
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    <a href="http://s1278.photobucket.com/user/mudbunny1/media/chicken-farm-essick_66070_990x742_zps8a0b5c00.jpg.html" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1278.photobucket.com/albums/y511/mudbunny1/chicken-farm-essick_66070_990x742_zps8a0b5c00.jpg" border="0" alt=" photo chicken-farm-essick_66070_990x742_zps8a0b5c00.jpg"/></a>
    F*ck Cancer

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  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  31. #31
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    when chickens attack

    -5911491.jpg
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  32. #32
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    haha, that's Karl Stefanovic from our local TV chanel morning show. He's always doing stupid stuff.

  33. #33
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    That must be embarrassing, losing to a chicken-head.
    The ridiculousness of cycling clothes increase exponentially in relation to the distance from your bicycle.

  34. #34
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    Excellent cover by Primus of The Devil Went Down To Georgia.

    Featuring dancing chickens and devil riding a bike

    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/X9uk9IcoQ0w" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
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  35. #35
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    Great video Judy and a great rock tribute remake of an old southern rock song originally performed by Charlie Daniels.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  36. #36
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    -uxvpc.jpg
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    They gave their lives so a chicken could lay another egg. weeding out the flock so to speak.

    The first video clip in this thread is hilarious.

  38. #38
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    Three men were arrested in Putnam County, Florida, for stealing a 9-foot-tall purple chicken and taking it on a joyride.

    -1373202396-0.jpg

    Putnam County Sheriff's Office: 3 men towed, rode 600-lb. aluminum chicken | firstcoastnews.com
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  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    Three men were arrested in Putnam County, Florida, for stealing a 9-foot-tall purple chicken and taking it on a joyride.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    Putnam County Sheriff's Office: 3 men towed, rode 600-lb. aluminum chicken | firstcoastnews.com
    They must have had a full roll of duct tape

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by emu26 View Post
    They must have had a full roll of duct tape
    Splain' yourself Lucy!
    I Love Lucy - Ricky's English and Lucy's 'uggh' - YouTube
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  41. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    You mean your country hicks don't wrap their chickens with duct tape to stop them from exploding when they have their way with them. Give me a few minutes I should be able to find a pic of Tones to illustrate.

  42. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by emu26 View Post
    You mean your country hicks don't wrap their chickens with duct tape to stop them from exploding when they have their way with them. Give me a few minutes I should be able to find a pic of Tones to illustrate.
    No that's a new one on me. But that's not to say our country hicks aren't in to it. I'm on the edge of my seat waiting on that photo of Tones demonstration though.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  43. #43
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    <a href="http://imgur.com/ECMFoMg"><img src="http://i.imgur.com/ECMFoMg.jpg" title="Hosted by imgur.com"/></a>
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  44. #44
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    Forgot about this thread.
    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/A43JOxLa5MM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

  45. #45
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    ^Oh, Cornfield!!! That made me laugh like I haven't in a long time!!!

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    Haha! I had about the same reaction when I saw it for the first time.

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    Hey If You Got It, You Got It…

    Chances are .. You're full of !$@&?

  48. #48
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    Just saw a hilarious new Foster Farms commercial so I googled for this thread. I couldn't fine that one but came across an old California Foster Farms commercial that is just as funny. I remember this one from California and not sure if it was shown anywhere else. Too funny!
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ze3V1X9...%3Dze3V1X9eLu4
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  49. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Just saw a hilarious new Foster Farms commercial so I googled for this thread. I couldn't fine that one but came across an old California Foster Farms commercial that is just as funny. I remember this one from California and not sure if it was shown anywhere else. Too funny!
    http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ze3V1X9...%3Dze3V1X9eLu4
    Those damned garbage gut chickens are never gonna give up!

  50. #50
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    I'de like thank Judy for this one.
    <iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/nLwML2PagbY?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

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    Chicken makes lousy house pet!

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    That commercial committed cruelty to animals. I'm calling the tree huggers to report this!
    Last edited by SCR818; 06-19-2014 at 09:03 PM.

  53. #53
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    Before

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    -1382294124-0.jpg

    Drivers may not always see pet chickens crossing roads, so the company Omlet developed these shiny vests to enhance the visibility of chickens.

    Best dressed chicken in town: hens go hi-vis - Telegraph

    (the comments are a giggle)
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  54. #54
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    It happened again!

    -7zzqc.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

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  55. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  56. #56
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    F*ck Cancer

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  57. #57
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    Turkey dictator

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  58. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    Turkey dictator
    We will rise up, we will conquer, we will smash the government, we will make a new society!! All hail the great leader!
    Let's eat Ted
    Let's eat, Ted
    Remember, commas save lives

  59. #59
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    Cluck,cluck...
    Far Side
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  60. #60
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    Cluck,cluck,cluck...
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  61. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    Three men were arrested in Putnam County, Florida, for stealing a 9-foot-tall purple chicken and taking it on a joyride.
    Friends of mine in HS stole a life-sized fiberglass cow from the front of a butcher shop. Some of you San Diegans may remember this as Manhattan Meats in La Mesa.

    How did they escape the long arm of the law? By sending a note to a local news station claiming it as a kidnapping, and demanding (something like) 27 cents and 3 parachutes as ransom. They actually got on live TV to exchange the cow for the ransom (a tape strip of marked coins and 3 parachutes from little green army men); Manhattan Meats got some publicity, and my buddies probably got a stern lecture form the La Mesa PD.

    "Nothing good ever happens from 3 bored HS students meeting for coffee after curfew at Denny's."

    I miss the simpler, (relatively) innocent times.

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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    Poultry attempt at backflip.

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    Quote Originally Posted by random walk View Post
    Poultry attempt at backflip.
    he was too chicken to fully commit.
    Hey Miraculous... Go Raiders ! .
    -Dad

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    His feathered hair got in his eyes.
    Hey Miraculous... Go Raiders ! .
    -Dad

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    surely it was because his cock reared its ugly red head and put him off.

  66. #66
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    Chicken of the sea
    -pskvq1s.jpg


    and they make good drivers
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    Chicken of the sea
    Click image for larger version. 

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    and they make good drivers

    They make good drivers until she [the hen] craps in your lap.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  68. #68
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    Poultry Shaming

    -poultry-shaming-03.jpg

    -poultry-shaming-01.jpg

    -poultry-shaming-02.jpg

    -poultry-shaming-04.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

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  69. #69
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    deep

    F*ck Cancer

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  70. #70
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    Hug your chicken day

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  71. #71
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    LOL THread :-) THanks!
    WHen I was a boy I lved on a farm. My dad had lots of chickens adn we collected eggs everyday.
    My dad had a pet checken that would follow him around. Dad would feed it beer, it drank from his beer mug (keg in garage)..that thing would run around crashing into everything LOL
    Ever crack a 1/2 developed egg into a frying pan = One EYE staring at you with some blood..freeky looking
    LOL ~ memories
    Anyone know how to find a "soft shell" chicken egg? As in were to look for them on an active farm with free roaming chickens?
    Ride MORE = Live Longer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Burt4x4 View Post
    LOL THread :-) THanks!
    WHen I was a boy I lved on a farm. My dad had lots of chickens adn we collected eggs everyday.
    My dad had a pet checken that would follow him around. Dad would feed it beer, it drank from his beer mug (keg in garage)..that thing would run around crashing into everything LOL
    Ever crack a 1/2 developed egg into a frying pan = One EYE staring at you with some blood..freeky looking
    LOL ~ memories
    Anyone know how to find a "soft shell" chicken egg? As in were to look for them on an active farm with free roaming chickens?
    Nothing funnier than a drunk chicken.
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    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  73. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

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    ^ I'm thinking "double Ds" ^

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    I thought my beaver thread was bad... Here we have out and out pics of cocks...
    Communist Party Member Since 1917.

  76. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    ^ I'm thinking "double Ds" ^
    It leaves a lot to the imagination.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

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    A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird.
    F*ck Cancer

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  78. #78
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    Re: Hey If You Got It, You Got It…


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    I see this guy every time I pass through Alabama headed to Florida. My wife said that it's the biggest cock she has seen. Who am I to argue?

    Trying to win hearts and minds, but willing to stomp them if necessary.

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    "Little Jerry" alarm clock!

    F*ck Cancer

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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    "Little Jerry" alarm clock!

    looks like some one choked it one to many times
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by deke505 View Post
    looks like some one choked it one to many times
    :d:d
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    Name:  eJst2Wv.jpg
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    F*ck Cancer

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  84. #84
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    -1499451_586084488123405_422097070_n_zps6abb2b24.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

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  85. #85
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    ^^That's one of my chief reasons for crossing the road.
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  86. #86
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    Well...
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    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

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    I had a pet chicken once. Heidi was her name and she was a Rhode Island red. Also had a goose named Ginger. She was I think an African breed. Geese make great watch "dogs."

  88. #88
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    How chicken's have changed since the 1950's

    -by8qciriaaezh1b.jpg

    I'll bet chickens in 2014 are probably even more badass
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    ^^^^ Reminds me of Barry Bonds.

    In his case, the 2014 version looks more like the slimmed and trimmed version.
    (he discovered cycling!)

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    Quote Originally Posted by djork View Post
    I had a pet chicken once. Heidi was her name and she was a Rhode Island red. Also had a goose named Ginger. She was I think an African breed. Geese make great watch "dogs."
    You do know that geese aren't allowed in this thread right. It's only for chickens.
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    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  91. #91
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    Gesundheit !

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  92. #92
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    One of my all-time favorite cooking show personalities!

    Yan can cook! LOL!


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    Quote Originally Posted by Cornfield View Post
    One of my all-time favorite cooking show personalities!

    Yan can cook! LOL!

    yes he is good, is he still around?


    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    There's some strange folk out there 'bouts. They have no sense of humor.
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    Quote Originally Posted by deke505 View Post
    yes he is good, is he still around?
    I haven't watched TV for a long time, so I'm not sure. I'll definitely be watching his vidz on the internetz!

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    .....
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails -image.jpg  

    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  96. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    .....
    wrong thread

    Cool mugs?
    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    There's some strange folk out there 'bouts. They have no sense of humor.
    My Blog

  97. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by deke505 View Post
    wrong thread

    Cool mugs?
    Already put it in there.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  98. #98
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    Look at all those....

    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  99. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclelicious View Post
    Look at all those....


    Did I mention I'm still laughing.
    Quote Originally Posted by targnik View Post
    So I shoot off all full of bravado, hit this wee booter - grabbing some air, then I land - leading into a greasy rut.

  100. #100
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    Nevermind March of the Penguins...

    Chickens march in singlefile

    Name:  1421949041_chickens-marching-lg.jpg
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    Can't embed the video... just clink the link

    Instagram
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