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  1. #1
    Ride More, Whine Less
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    Grossed out stories

    I was thinking about the Goonies's character Chunk and his story of fake vomit in a crowded theater today.



    It got me thinking about what have I have experienced that is on par with his story.

    For me, a few years back, everyone I knew was experiencing an exceptionally potent stomach flu. I was feeling immune to the joys that came along with the flu when it hit me like a ton of bricks at work. I immediately pack the bags and head for home. I feel the urge to throw up while driving home--the trip is only 10 minutes. I fight the urge off. The urge gets stronger and stronger. I'm almost home. I lost the battle! I threw up all over the inside of the truck, including covering myself. It was well below freezing that day and I had to drive on as there was no place to stop. I tried to open a window. They were frozen shut! The smell of vomit makes me vomit. So just in case one throw up while driving down the road wasn't enough, I give my stomach two additional clearings before arriving at home.

    What do you have?

  2. #2
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    I work in Radiology at my local hospital, so I have seen some NASTY stuff. One of the worst that sticks in my mind, was this middle-aged woman who came into the ER with abdominal pain. I received the order to do abdominal x-rays, and was in the x-ray room with her. She's sitting on the gurney, telling me her story, when she gets the urge to vomit. I give her a basin, and up it comes. Now, I have been around a lot of vomiting people, but this one was special. She had eaten some VERY spicy mexican food not long before her ER visit. This spicy mexican food was now partially digested, accompanied by stomach acid, and now sitting a plastic bin. I will forever remember the smell, and most of all, the burn of the spices filling my nose and making my eyes water. That one was special.

  3. #3
    mtbr member
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    I was on the committee that planned our 5 year high school class reunion and for our planning we regularly met at the local Pizza Hut. For one of the meetings my sitter backed out and I had to bring my (then) two year old son with me. The server brought him a mint and I foolishly let him have it. Yep, he choked on it. Without a second thought I performed the heimlich on him Choking - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. The instant he vomitted up the candy, the people around us started to vomit. It spread throughout the restaurant like ripples in a pond. Oh yeah, did I mention it was a lunch meeting? The restaurant was packed. After that we met at the committe chairperson's home. Luckily my husband and I were friends with the management, so I wasn't banned.
    I'm enjoying my childhood way too much to ever give it up.

  4. #4
    duh
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    I shattered my heel on a ski trip in Tremblant. The next night after coming back from the hospital I had taken some pain pills then went for dinner. In the middle of my meal I felt some thing and couldn't even hold it down. So out it came the 3/4 of the steak and fries that I ate over the entire table. It happened again (about 3 times) on the way to the washroom around another groups table.

    When I got back home and went to my local hospital they didn't even recognize the meds they gave me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tone's View Post
    the big aussie rep bomb is comin your way

  5. #5
    Ride More, Whine Less
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    Grossed out stories

    Wow. Very good stuff

  6. #6
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    Ya'll are a bunch of lightweights in the gross out business.

    I worked with an old retired Marine that did five tours in Vietnam. He liked it that much.
    During one of his deployments, his platoon saved up money for a big end of tour party. During the party, they held a gross out party for remainder of the money. Throughout the party, they had been taking turns with the local old Mama-san. Between rounds, Mama-san was dousching herself out in a bucket in the corner of the bar.
    The Marine I worked with won the gross out party by drinking that bucket.
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  7. #7
    King of Middle Earth
    Reputation: Hawg's Avatar
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    OMG, this thread is INTENSE!!!
    fee-fy-fo-fum...

  8. #8
    usually cranky
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    oh man, when tone's gets his mitts on this...

  9. #9
    High Desert MTBer
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    I was on a ferry boat on the way to the Isle Of Man in the Irish Sea many years ago with my 8 yr old stepson, and the Irish Sea was doing what it does so well: it was not staying still at all. We were sitting at a table in a very crowded bar/restaurant, it was hot a smokey, and there were not many people who were not feeling queasy. At the same table were an aged Irish couple who had obviously made the trip many times and seen it all. So they thought.
    I was talking to my stepson, and he was starting to turn a very odd color, and suddenly, in mid sentence, he clapped his hand to his mouth, his cheeks bulged, and he hurled great jets of light brown vomit thru his fingers, and like 3 little fountains, it covered the little old man and his wife. That was it, the man turned to his left and threw up on the floor, and the woman got up and hurried to the bathroom with her hand to her mouth.
    It was a little embarrassing, but they took it with good grace.
    It's all Here. Now.

  10. #10
    mtbr member
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    Another great one was when I was doing a portable abdomen Xray on a young man with cerebral palsy. I had just finished the Xray, and removed the film from behind him, when he sat bolt upright and projectile vomited a bright green geyser of vomit seven feet straight out past the end of his hospital bed. It was a stunning sight. He couldn't communicate his distress, but luckily I had moved out of the line of fire just in time that the geyser missed me by inches. Had it hit me, I would have joined in on the spew fest.

    Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk 4 Beta

  11. #11
    such member
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    I was in a drug induced coma for 2 weeks in the ICU due to a head injury.They had done a tracheotomy so I could breathe through a tube in my neck.While recovering I contracted pneumonia.One day the nurse was changing the dressing on my neck and I had to cough,so I put my hand over my mouth and launched a hunk of phlegm through the hole,it launched all the way across the room!

  12. #12
    such member
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    ^Guess I was a bit off topic there

    Quote Originally Posted by rockerc View Post
    he clapped his hand to his mouth, his cheeks bulged, and he hurled great jets of light brown vomit thru his fingers
    A friend and I were sitting backwards in the back of my dad's station wagon on a curvy mountain road.We were eating Beer Nuts and I think he had chocolate milk.He did exactly the same thing,shot brown spray through his fingers all over.Luckily I wasn't hit.

  13. #13
    Xtreme Lounger
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    One summer I was off from college and stayed at my mom's place. I woke up in the middle of the night and was kind of hungry. So I wander downstairs into the kitchen but didn't turn the lights on because I didn't want to squint for 5 minutes. I notice a box of Tastykake cupcakes on top of the pantry and figure I'll have a pack of those.

    I open the pack of cupcakes and take my first bite. I'm chewing away thinking ... man, this tastes really weird ... what flavor is this ... is this something new? I turn on the lights and the cupcakes looked like they were covered in rainbow colored shag carpet. There must have been a couple months worth of mold all over those things. I raced to the sink and spit everything out and desperately fought off the barf reflex. I ran upstairs and must have brushed my teeth like 5 times.

    Those Tastykakes were probably there from the last semester and my mom never threw them out.

  14. #14
    King of Middle Earth
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    All this talk about hurling kinda makes me want to hurl.
    fee-fy-fo-fum...

  15. #15
    mtbr member
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    Just wait until I get to the stories about Foley catheters and barium enemas!

    Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk 4 Beta

  16. #16
    ~Disc~Golf~
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hawg View Post
    OMG, this thread is INTENSE!!!
    good thing it's not in tents! amirite?
    Honestly, you just take a deep breath and say Fuck it.

  17. #17
    mtbr member
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    How about something mtn bike related?
    In 1991 I wiped out on my bike, hard. High speed, downhill, tumbling.
    My right leg ended up caught between the top tube and saddle nose. It wrenched my knee the wrong direction. Think toes touching the belly.
    Three knee surgeries later, I can do some neato cocktail party tricks with my right knee. It moves in ways knees are not supposed to move.
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  18. #18
    loves me some carbon
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    I used to work in a watch repair shop is a somewhat scuzzier part of town than where I now work. One day a lady came into the the shop with her two kids, both of whom were grubby, unkempt and had a bad case of the sniffles. Now you'll have to use your imagination a bit to get the true horror of this, but as nasty as it sounds, this lady was extremely physically unattractive. It's hard to say exactly how, because no particular one part of her was in itself horrendous, but the whole was greater than the sum of it's parts if you understand. And she smelled... no, she stank... no, she fugged of halitoses and some other hard to identify smell that I suspect (based on the general pallor of her skin) was a skin condition that had been left untreated until necrosis had set in. I strongly suspected that she hadn't bathed or brushed her teeth in a year or more. Actually probably a lot longer for the teeth, as her front two were missing. And to top it all off, she was a close talker! I was standing as far back from the counter as I politely could, and actually leaning backwards slightly to try to stay out of range of her breath and even turning my head to the side slightly when I had to gulp a breath in, but it wasn't working and I was starting to feel really queasy.

    Then it got bad.


    About the time we had finished conducting our business, and she was rounding her kids up to leave, her little boy sneezed a bunch of runny green snot out onto his mouth and chin.


    Quick as a wink, she reached down, wiped it off his face between thumb and forefinger, put her hand to her mouth and she sucked it all off her fingers with a loud slurp.

    I gagged and threw up in my mouth a little bit and had to run for the bathroom. Even talking about it years later makes me feel a bit ill.

    Edit: Why can't I find a barf emoticon?
    Last edited by The Understater; 07-18-2013 at 01:32 AM.
    Posting on the basis that ignorance shared is ignorance doubled.

  19. #19
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    Grossed out stories

    After a night of drinking I was sitting in a chair fighting off the spins. My buddy was I. The kitchen eating ice cream. Hr asked if I wanted a bye and it looked pretty good so I said sure. I was so out of it that he just came over and put the spoon directly in my mouth. I couldn't figure the flavor or why it was so warm.....
    Mayonnaise
    I'm sick of all the Irish stereotypes, as soon as I finish this beer I"m punching someone

  20. #20
    Afric Pepperbird
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    Too many vomiting stories; very little else.

    C'mon, let's shake things up!

  21. #21
    loves me some carbon
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    Quote Originally Posted by dirt farmer View Post
    Too many vomiting stories; very little else.

    C'mon, let's shake things up!
    Mine was about a smelly eater of someone else's snot. I guess I could have mentioned the time a few months later I was standing outside the shop with my afternoon cup of tea watching the world go by when I saw some people sitting waiting in the back of a van. A woman was searching through a little girl's hair when she pulled something out and ate it. It was exactly like a chimpanzee family de-pesting each other.

    I'm really glad I now have my shop in a high rent district. Now I only have to put up with the odd overgrown sense of entitlement.
    Posting on the basis that ignorance shared is ignorance doubled.

  22. #22
    High Desert MTBer
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    OK, I was at the border post between Turkey and Iran many years ago, we had driven across Turkey and were waiting to cross the border, and we were very hungry. The border guards said there was a 'restaurant' in the building behind, and when we went in, there was just a very dirty, stinky kitchen type area, with a big wooden table in the middle. At the table were sitting 4 men, and in the middle of the table was a cows head, I am guessing lightly boiled and with the top of the skull removed. They were taking it in turns to reach forward and spoon the contents into their mouths with great relish. The cloud of flies that lifted off each time this happened, and landed again right after each spoonful obviously thought it was heavenly too...
    We lost our appetites very quickly, and even sitting here writing this, I am not sure about breakfast today...
    It's all Here. Now.

  23. #23
    mtbr member
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    Grossed out stories

    Quote Originally Posted by rockerc View Post
    We lost our appetites very quickly, and even sitting here writing this, I am not sure about breakfast today...
    Now I don't want breakfast.
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  24. #24
    King of Middle Earth
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    I'm in the mood for some bacon. Anyone else want some, too?
    fee-fy-fo-fum...

  25. #25
    human dehumidifier
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    Had the puke and poops once and had simultaneous ejections from both end. I'd stand up spin around and puke, the cramping would start me squirting again, then the smell would get the puking started up. Wash rinse repeat.

    And then ... The Steakhouse Incident
    I Just Wasn't Made For These Times

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