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Thread: The Fart Thread

  1. #1
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    The Fart Thread

    Well, the Poop thread has run it's course, so I thought I'd light up the boards with something a bit milder, innocuous and just as humorous... The Green Cloud.

    I'll start off with this bit of plagerism.... pretty common in the trades and in construction to ambush your fellow coworkers with a stink bomb, but this guy takes the prize...

    best of craigslist: I farted on every single one of my employees. All 37 of them.

  2. #2
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    For a minute there I almost read the whole thing.
    Quote Originally Posted by NDD View Post
    Dude, I'm in Illinois. The only place anyone would come from that would say this area is hilly is Kansas.

  3. #3
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    Social Farting...

    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/8F6QnGSilG0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

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    Great thread.

    When I was in high school, I had 2 simultaneous roommates that were just farting machines. Silent killers, high vibrato, rumblers, and probably some sharts too... You name it they did it. Crazy guys.

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    Must be the crappy zoo food
    LOL @ 0:28
    <iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/PSKQ3ZNQ_O8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

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    Remember the fart scene in Blazing Saddles?

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    The fart scene in the Nutty Professor is hilarious, too!

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    Many years ago. A new mechanic started work in the shop where I was working. In the usual show of masculine talents to establish a proper pecking order, I proceeded to burp the entire alphabet. Much to my surprise and wonder, the new fellow farted the first six notes of the star spangled banner with such perfect pitch and timing that Sousa himself would have been impressed. He won.

  9. #9
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    Has anybody seen brazilian farting porn or japanese farting porn ?

    Some guys love women farting on their face, its very very weird, i mean im into a lot of things but not farting lol
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

  10. #10
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    Just realized that the hippo fart sounds very similar to this:

    <iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-AMgagxCvZQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

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    Quote Originally Posted by ambassadorhawg View Post
    Remember the fart scene in Blazing Saddles?
    The toilet scene in Dumb and Dumber.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Optimus View Post
    There's some strange folk out there 'bouts. They have no sense of humor.
    My Blog

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    The Fart Thread

    Must be rad to have a **** flinging tail.

  14. #14
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    So after my bike ride today, I decided to go to Southern Appalachian Brewery for a little pizza and a few beers.

    Sitting at the bar, I let one slip, not really worrying too much about the noise since it was pretty loud in there. A few seconds later, I noticed it stunk. So I started looking around with the "who did that, it stinks" look.

    A little bit later I had to fart again so I walked to bathroom crop dusting a large table on the way.....yeah, I am that a$$hole.
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

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    ^ good work!!!

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    My farts smell like roses.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by kjlued View Post
    A little bit later I had to fart again so I walked to bathroom crop dusting a large table on the way.....yeah, I am that a$$hole.
    Outstanding!!
    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by nwbikur View Post
    My farts smell like roses.
    You better get that checked out, that is just not natural.

    Either that or quit eating potpourri. It really isn't good for you.
    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

  19. #19
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    I was at a team meeting and while my boss was speaking, she snarted...she had a sneezing fit and accidentally farted. I guess she was distracted by the sneezes and let her guard down for a second and WHAM! She let one escape

    I said "Gesundheit" and she kept on talking... I couldn't look at my colleagues because I would have bursted out in laughing fit.
    I'm such a team player lol.
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  20. #20
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    Never heard the term "snarted" before...lol!

    Here's a scene from Talladega Nights that didn't make it into the film.
    <iframe width="480" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/W745cx9-Mb4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

  21. #21
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    what would a fart thread be without mr. methane?

    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/HH5MYq5Vshw" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/XCpPEnwQe3Q" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/8bZaAomW7ik" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    "Knowledge is good." ~ Emil Faber

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    ROFLMAO! Good work, monogod!

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    The farting preacher

    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

  24. #24
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    lol Mr Methane and Pastor Gas

    Here is someone else fartistic talent

    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cbuN73_ejvI" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

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  26. #26
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    I think all farts should have a color assigned to them, because you know when that one fart comes out and lingers in the air and wont leave, I mean its obvious that is a green fart. Everyone should know this by now, its even documented in cartoons.

    A red fart is a spicy one, probably incurred by some type of spicy ethnic food with a great amount of chilis and onions.

    A yellow fart, well these are worse on the farter, than they are on the fartee.


    THISS!!! i thought i was the only one who assigned colors to farts. i'd tell my friend "the ultimate fart would be a periwinkle blue fart". she never quite created one.

    one of my favorite stories is when my me and my boyfriend went to a party and he drank wayyyy too much home brewed beer. not only was he piss drunk, but he developed the most putrid gas. because of his drunkness, he was just letting then rip with no regard to anyone else. i started being embarrassed to be associate with him because people were getting offended. i eventually had to start yelling at him. The next morning, his friend told us that people who were supposed to sleep over (as to not drive drunk) ended up driving home drunk anyway because of the unbearable gas.
    fap

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    Back when I lived in Salt Lake City a buddy and I organized an afternoon ski trip up to Alta. So it was us two plus 3 other people (1 guy and 2 girls). My friend gets real gassy if he eats anything with beans and for some reason his mom gave him a case of some god awful instant chile in a cup (it was called something like Chile Ole). He let it sit around for awhile because he knew it wouldn't be a good idea to eat it. As it turned out, on the morning of our ski day he was completely out of food so he decided to risk it and eat one of the instant chile packages. When I got to his house one of the first things he said was "dude, I ate one of the Chile Ole's" We looked at each other and we knew this was going to be a disaster. However we were hoping for the slim chance that maybe he could hold out until we got to Alta before the noxious fumes were released. Anyhow we picked up the rest of the gang and headed up towards Little Cottonwood Canyon. On the way up I would occasionally glance at my buddy and he would give me that look that so far so good, whew. But then somewhere about half way up the canyon I noticed his body language started to change from "I'm OK" to "I don't think I'm going to make it." And sure enough not long after that the first bomb went off. And man it stunk. I started laughing but our guests where not amused. We rolled down the windows which helped at first but unfortunately the stink bombs started coming with more ferocity and frequency-it was an all out assault on our senses. The other three passengers really hated my friend and had absolutely no sense of humor about the whole thing. Finally we reached Alta and piled out of the car. The rest of the gang went their own way and me and my buddy went ours. Probably a good thing because it was a big powder day and Alf's and Eagle's nest were deep and sweet. Needless to say it was tense going home and we never skied with the other folks ever again!

  28. #28
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    During college one year, I roomed with 3 other guys, all mtn bikers. One guy, Jeff, had to bring up the rear (pun intended) on our group rides because he'd be throwing off nasty gas the whole way down the trail. He didn't let loose in the house we shared, so I have no idea what was different about riding, but it was bad. Whenever I think about Jeff, this is what comes to mind - and he was a good guy.

  29. #29
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    a friend of mine had such bad gas one time that his carbon monoxide detector went off. it was because of a low battery, but it was still funny to imagine it was his ass that triggered it.
    fap

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    I had a clever friend that on hunting trips, would always put a heavy jacket on, bundled up, even when in the truck with the heater on, with it toasty inside the vehicle... There was a method to his madness. It was a sign he was going to start blasting from whatever poison he'd last eaten while in the vehicle. The rest of us, with our coats off, had a choice. Roll down the windows and freeze our asses off to get the stink out of the crew cab truck, or keep the windows up, stay warm, and suffer with the deathly stench leaking out of our friend. Freezing usually won out, with the windows down. It ended, his little game, when we warned him over dinner at the restuarant that if he ate sh*t that was going to cause him to let loose, he would ride all 40 miles back to deer camp in the bed of the truck, not in the crew cab, and that he'd be sleeping outside the outfitters tent too that night, if he ordered any food that would cause the death stench to start forming.

    It was a long cold ride back to camp for him, he didn't think we'd call him on it. Same for the night outside the tent.

  31. #31
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    In college my roomies and I had what we called the "boof couch." We'd be sitting on that couch watching TV or whatever, when all of a sudden the raunchiest stench would begin to permeate the living room. Since none of us were ever bashful about admitting to doing the deed, it became curiouser and curiouser when no one would fess up. Finally we decided the couch must have had a magical property of capturing fart gas for future dispensing. Not even sure if it was storing ours or some previous owner's gas.

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by random walk View Post
    In college my roomies and I had what we called the "boof couch." We'd be sitting on that couch watching TV or whatever, when all of a sudden the raunchiest stench would begin to permeate the living room. Since none of us were ever bashful about admitting to doing the deed, it became curiouser and curiouser when no one would fess up. Finally we decided the couch must have had a magical property of capturing fart gas for future dispensing. Not even sure if it was storing ours or some previous owner's gas.
    I've inherited some raunchy couches in my day but that one takes the cake!

  33. #33
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    lol, i'm glad somebody else says "boof"
    fap

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    Once, when my daughter was very young, I cracked one off, immediately acted surprised and started looking behind furniture and drapes for the "barking spider."

    Days later she pooted and burst out laughing, "It was a barfing spider!"

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    The barking spider and cracking one off! That's classic campfire material.

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    When I was a little girl, my father would let the silent-but-deadly ones slide out in the truck. My mother would start bytching, I would laugh my ass off, and my dad would have a big shyt-eatin' grin .

    One time my mother was making dinner. I was in the kitchen, and my dad farted in a paper bag and popped it in my face. I'm laughing as I'm typing this. These are some of my fondest childhood memories

    Here's a couple videos of my riding partner Matthew letting one fly. The first one was post ride, and he popped one off immediately after I did one to express my opinion of being dropped on group rides

    post-ride farts 1-5-13 - YouTube
    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6kRX1Ia-m5Q" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

    Here's one that slipped out when he took a break at the bottom of a descent. It's a 3-parter.

    Matthew's piss break ripper at Bear River Campground - YouTube

  37. #37
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    ^ It just got real real in here. Girls don't fart!! hahaha!! Nice one freighty!
    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

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    Blazing Saddles
    <iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/9zXygCaEIME?feature=player_detailpage" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    Quote Originally Posted by NDD View Post
    Dude, I'm in Illinois. The only place anyone would come from that would say this area is hilly is Kansas.

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    As a boat builders we used to run a fan to ventilate the filthy cramped spaces we worked in. Good fun to fire one into the fan that was driving air into the work area of a work mate. Power fart!!

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    Just stick it in granny and start grinding.

  42. #42
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    infrared
    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/md-cv2hyc8w" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    "Knowledge is good." ~ Emil Faber

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    Quote Originally Posted by kjlued View Post
    A little bit later I had to fart again so I walked to bathroom crop dusting a large table on the way.....yeah, I am that a$$hole.
    Thank you, i am blatantly plagiarizing this. Both the technique and the phrase. Why bomb a few people when you can stealth bomb a whole room?

    Well played sir!

  44. #44
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    Two quick stories.

    Years back I was in an automotive paint mixing room with all the strong smells of paint and catalyzers. A friend let a good one rip. That noxious, something-dead-crawled up his azz odor cut straight through all those other chemical odors and assaulted the nose. I would never have believed it.

    On a humorous note, one time when I was overseas we had an Audio Club president who was an old, pudgy former Marine. A group of us were yucking it up just before closing and he walked up and joined us. He contributed something that for some forgotten reason made the switchboard operator (yeah it was a looong time ago) reach over and pinch his gut. He squeaked the obvious squak of too much intestinal gas. He immediately blushed a deep crimson. Then he did an immediate about face and went straight back up to his office. In our group you could have heard a pin drop. Without a word said we scattered. I was glad it was a Friday.
    Mike
    2011 Moto Fly Pro

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    Also believe in the color coding fart chart, and normally would agree that green is the most putrid.

    Until late one Saturday morning while re-living the events of Friday night's OOB frat party. Burt wearing white shorts, lifts his legs to light one off, and instead fills his shorts with a wet brown fart. Silence fell, as all ran from his room to collapse in the hallway from laughter.

    One vote for the ultimate color in nastiness = Brown.

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    Split pea soup is the devil.

    nuff said.

  47. #47
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    i love farts. the day i stop finding farts hilarious, is the day you can put me out to pasture.
    fap

  48. #48
    meh... whatever
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    i just farted....

    REP ME!
    "Knowledge is good." ~ Emil Faber

  49. #49
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    ...<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QkKmOp73Vbo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

  50. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRingGrinder View Post
    Split pea soup is the devil.

    nuff said.
    Spoken like a true Dutchman, and you have my vote, Knoor brand soup delivers the goods.

  51. #51
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    old man farting...

    <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/YMJPrNQxPNA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    "Knowledge is good." ~ Emil Faber

  52. #52
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    awesome!!! old people can get away with that. some people have no humor
    fap

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    Two quick ones I find funny...both happened yesterday.

    Going to Olive Garden with the wife and our 18 month old son. We are driving along, and I smell some nastyness.....I'm said "Did Preston poop?". Look over at the wife as she is wafting her hand from her crotch to my face. B!tch. She laughs, I gag!

    We get to Olive Garden and are eating our food. Our son stops eating, gets this blank look on his face, does the classic "lean" and lets a 2-3 second bomb. He gets done, giggles a few times, and goes right back to eating.

    My wife and son have been hanging out with me for too long.

  54. #54
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    you shouldnt pollute such a classy establishment i mean, maybe a Dennys...
    fap

  55. #55
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    Bringing back the Fart thread....



    Real or fake?? Airport FLIR fart..

    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/T1FxI3aVBOs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

  56. #56
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    ^^I believe this. The spacing and duration of each gaseous discharge seems to be about right for the average fart. It looks stinky too.
    Let's eat Ted
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    Remember, commas save lives

  57. #57
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    I agree, it looks very stinky.. haha!
    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

  58. #58
    meh... whatever
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    fake.
    "Knowledge is good." ~ Emil Faber

  59. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by monogod View Post
    fake.
    +1

    Real farts slap your thighs. Those are Hollywood farts, Mel Brooks farts.
    I like Sand - I don't like Witches


  60. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haint View Post
    +1

    Real farts slap your thighs. Those are Hollywood farts, Mel Brooks farts.
    You can't determine the validity of these farts by simple geometry. Fart angle is dependent on taint size and everybody is unique. Some fart straight downward, others are shallow at around 15 or 20 degrees. However folks with really large taints can spew forth gas at 90 degrees relative to the downward position.
    Let's eat Ted
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    Remember, commas save lives

  61. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mookie View Post
    You can't determine the validity of these farts by simple geometry.
    one can, however, determine the validity of these emissions by simple understanding of flir.

    unless this guy has a few bags of ice in his lower colon said video is irrefutably fake.
    "Knowledge is good." ~ Emil Faber

  62. #62
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    I've never used FLIR before but I'm assuming one can calibrate the instrument so that it can pick up small differences in temp. I'm guessing the surface temp of a human is probably a couple degrees different from the inside (where the noxious fumes originate) and so just on that principle alone the difference could be detected. Another factor to consider is that almost immediately upon exiting the anus there is most likely a rapid change in temp of the rank gas that can presumably be detected by the FLIR instrument.
    Let's eat Ted
    Let's eat, Ted
    Remember, commas save lives

  63. #63
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    Yes I agree the spacing was correct and the slight squat and push was prevailing in relation to the gap between the clouds. Plus his aim was fairly accurate but timing slightly off in terms of the stranger passing by.
    Quote Originally Posted by NDD View Post
    Dude, I'm in Illinois. The only place anyone would come from that would say this area is hilly is Kansas.

  64. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by monogod View Post
    one can, however, determine the validity of these emissions by simple understanding of flir.

    unless this guy has a few bags of ice in his lower colon said video is irrefutably fake.
    That is where I was stuck. Also, farts seem pretty dense and slow moving. This looked "light & fluffy".
    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

  65. #65
    I didn't do it
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    Yes I agree the spacing was correct and the slight squat and push was prevailing in relation to the gap between the clouds. Plus his aim was fairly accurate but timing slightly off in terms of the stranger passing by.
    You're right, that precious gas can't be wasted. He should have waited for his victim to get into the proper position then whamo-hit him with the fumes.
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  66. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mookie View Post
    I've never used FLIR before but I'm assuming one can calibrate the instrument so that it can pick up small differences in temp. I'm guessing the surface temp of a human is probably a couple degrees different from the inside (where the noxious fumes originate) and so just on that principle alone the difference could be detected. Another factor to consider is that almost immediately upon exiting the anus there is most likely a rapid change in temp of the rank gas that can presumably be detected by the FLIR instrument.
    it's BLACK! the colder the temp sig the darker the color, the hotter the temp sig the whiter the color. that means this emission was VERY cold. in other words, for that flatus to be black would mean the gas went from body temperature to WELL BELOW ambient temperature in a split second.

    IT'S FAKE.
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  67. #67
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    It's hard to predict the range, elevation, and, ahem, windage or drift a good ripper will have, trajectory wise. I will say for certain, a woman's sniffer is 5x as sensitive to the slightest passage of gas compared to a man's. They also know instinctively when it's diaper time.

  68. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by monogod View Post
    it's BLACK! the colder the temp sig the darker the color, the hotter the temp sig the whiter the color. that means this emission was VERY cold. in other words, for that flatus to be black would mean the gas went from body temperature to WELL BELOW ambient temperature in a split second.

    IT'S FAKE.
    The one thing I don't know about FLIR systems is resolution of the instrument. If it can be calibrated to pick up small changes in temp of only a degree or two then I think it's possible that the gas may have a small decrease in temp that can be detected and displayed by the instrument. So I'm not so sure we can be making absolute conclusions in the flatus temp, only that there is a relative change in temp of the gas compared to the body (i.e. dark gas = relatively colder temp, relative intensity of color determined by how the instrument was calibrated). It's also possible that the jeans are an effective enough heat sink to take enough heat away from the gas sufficient to be detectable by the FLIR.
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  69. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mookie View Post
    The one thing I don't know about FLIR systems is resolution of the instrument. If it can be calibrated to pick up small changes in temp of only a degree or two then I think it's possible that the gas may have a small decrease in temp that can be detected and displayed by the instrument. So I'm not so sure we can be making absolute conclusions in the flatus temp, only that there is a relative change in temp of the gas compared to the body (i.e. dark gas = relatively colder temp, relative intensity of color determined by how the instrument was calibrated). It's also possible that the jeans are an effective enough heat sink to take enough heat away from the gas sufficient to be detectable by the FLIR.
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  70. #70
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    ^ Gettin all serious N stuff in a thread about farts.
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  71. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by monogod View Post
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    Lol, just having some fun with ya old man. No worries.
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  72. #72
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    that moment when the joke is even funnier cuz people DON'T get it.... EPIC!
    "Knowledge is good." ~ Emil Faber

  73. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by monogod View Post
    that moment when the joke is even funnier cuz people DON'T get it.... EPIC!
    So true, we don't get the benefit of inflection and body language over the internet.
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  74. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mookie View Post
    So true, we don't get the benefit of inflection and body language over the internet.
    yeah, those internet memes are pretty tricky to decipher all right...
    "Knowledge is good." ~ Emil Faber

  75. #75
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    my buddy has chronic allergies and not much of a sense of smell. so he's always rippin ass and i'm falling over gagging and he cant even smell it.

    the other day, he farted on my dog. she was being annoying, so he was like, "Hey Arya!" and ripped one right on her. most dogs or pets dont even react to farts, but she got so startled and left in a big hurry. so many lolz were had
    fap

  76. #76
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    Any one of us rips a loud one and the dog turns around to check his own ass.

  77. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by monogod View Post
    yeah, those internet memes are pretty tricky to decipher all right...
    The meme was quite clear. I realized you were taking the technology of fart detection seriously and immediately dropped the subject.
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  78. #78
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    Fart Meme Time





    Today I will do what others won't, so tomorrow I can do what others can't

  79. #79
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    My cousin and her husband were in the check out line in a big store with a long line behind them. Then, a silent bomb went off. Everybody was looking around and since there was a grubby, nasty looking old man behind them in line everyone placed the blame on him. As my cousin and her husband walked outside, she then told him it was her. This doesn't surprise me tho, as she did pass out one day at Menards while watching the ceiling fans.

  80. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mookie View Post
    The meme was quite clear. I realized you were taking the technology of fart detection seriously and immediately dropped the subject.
    aaaaaaaaand you STILL don't get it. which just elevated it from funny to hilarious!
    "Knowledge is good." ~ Emil Faber

  81. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by monogod View Post
    aaaaaaaaand you STILL don't get it. which just elevated it from funny to hilarious!
    I don't get it either.

    Can you just explain it already, for us simpletons?
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  82. #82
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    the shop i used to work at would get chinese take out at this placed dubbed chicken&headaches when we were too busy to think about choices. the heavy msg and the dirty woks proved lethal everytime. each mechanic was given a "mist cone".

  83. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by TitanofChaos View Post
    Fart Meme Time..




    "Knowledge is good." ~ Emil Faber

  84. #84
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    Our dog Scotty is deathly afraid of Farts...
    When he lets one go he flies 2 feet up and 8 feet out thinking something just tried to eat his ass. He could be sound asleep, eating, playing with toys or what ever... then he's gone like a shot, tail tucked with this look of panic.. funniest damn thing.

    He just tilts his head when I fart.

  85. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    my buddy has chronic allergies and not much of a sense of smell. so he's always rippin ass and i'm falling over gagging and he cant even smell it.

    the other day, he farted on my dog. she was being annoying, so he was like, "Hey Arya!" and ripped one right on her. most dogs or pets dont even react to farts, but she got so startled and left in a big hurry. so many lolz were had
    Is this buddy also your love slave, or someone else? Can't see you just letting anyone fart on your dog... Just sayin...

  86. #86
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    anybody is allowed to fart on my dog! its funny.

    since that instance, it's become custom to call the dog over when the guts start bubblin.
    fap

  87. #87
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    Ahh yes...


    The Fart Thread-fart.jpg
    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

  88. #88
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    My dog likes to sleep under the covers with me, and a know a fart is bad when he runs as fast as he can to the foot of the bed (sometimes he likes to get a little to close)
    2013 Kona Process

  89. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by formu1fan View Post
    My dog likes to sleep under the covers with me, and a know a fart is bad when he runs as fast as he can to the foot of the bed (sometimes he likes to get a little to close)
    I always took that as I was showing who's the boss. My house, my room, my bed dammit!! Speaking about dogs,.. of course.
    "We can always find excuses if we want to find them, but if we really want to do something, we have to just go."

  90. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by sodak View Post
    I always took that as I was showing who's the boss. My house, my room, my bed dammit!! Speaking about dogs,.. of course.
    Yup, it's my way of reminding the little guy he's getting a little too close to in my personal space
    2013 Kona Process

  91. #91
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    i have a problem where guy's i've dated will fart very shortly after romantic activities. i created a 30 minute rule, but they dont follow it. I just really bring out the gas in people.
    fap

  92. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB View Post
    i have a problem where guy's i've dated will fart very shortly after romantic activities. i created a 30 minute rule, but they dont follow it. I just really bring out the gas in people.
    better than during.
    "Knowledge is good." ~ Emil Faber

  93. #93
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    Do farts really smell worse in the shower? I don't think I've noticed this phenomenon but here's some thoughts on the subject.

    Why do farts smell worse in the shower?
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  94. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mookie View Post
    Do farts really smell worse in the shower? I don't think I've noticed this phenomenon but here's some thoughts on the subject.

    Why do farts smell worse in the shower?
    {furiously filling out paperwork for fat gubment research grant}
    "Knowledge is good." ~ Emil Faber

  95. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by monogod View Post
    better than during.
    this was a threat. since i find farts so funny, he thought it would be a good idea to try. but i warned him i'd laugh my way out of the room, and he'd be stuck there alone
    fap

  96. #96
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    One of my Favorite Jack Vale pooter vids is when he was a substitute teacher:


  97. #97
    9 lives
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    blowing bubbles

    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  98. #98
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    ^^ I like her style.
    Let's eat Ted
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  99. #99
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    I just farted near one of my coworkers whom I despise. I don't think she heard me but I'm hoping that my gas will permeate her nose and airways and render her speechless.
    Let's eat Ted
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  100. #100
    Self Appointed Judge&Jury
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mookie View Post
    I just farted near one of my coworkers whom I despise. I don't think she heard me but I'm hoping that my gas will permeate her nose and airways and render her speechless.
    Hey it takes a real piece of work of a person for me to despise someone. But hey I recently have two coworkers who I despise maybe I'll give your style of revenge a try. You can't get arrested for that right.
    Quote Originally Posted by NDD View Post
    Dude, I'm in Illinois. The only place anyone would come from that would say this area is hilly is Kansas.

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