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  1. #1
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    F$ck My Life (Right Now)

    Have a lot going on in my life right now, very stressed from family and work (I know..I know...cry about it!!). On a 3hr drive home in a snow storm from my Grandpa's funeral, I get a text message from a family member (my Mom) that I wouldn't send an enemy.

    Beating me down when I am already low stings bad. I know many others have it worse, but I am just feeling like sh!t right now.

    :Poor me.jpg:

    It's snowing and I wish I was on my bike, or anyone but myself right now.

  2. #2
    gobsmacked Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonshonda View Post
    Have a lot going on in my life right now, very stressed from family and work (I know..I know...cry about it!!). On a 3hr drive home in a snow storm from my Grandpa's funeral, I get a text message from a family member (my Mom) that I wouldn't send an enemy.

    Beating me down when I am already low stings bad. I know many others have it worse, but I am just feeling like sh!t right now.

    :Poor me.jpg:

    It's snowing and I wish I was on my bike, or anyone but myself right now.
    Hmm..I'm sure there are people that have lost their children, their homes and their jobs sitting out there right now so it's never as bad as it seems. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get yourself a therapist.

    Merry Christmas, everybody and cherish what you do have, not what you've lost.

    xoxo!

  3. #3
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    There, you've let it out. Now pull up your socks and get on with it.

    You're not dead and you own a mountain bike. Life is great!
    Quote Originally Posted by Trail Ninja's Son
    You may be happy to hear that my dad has kicked cancer's ass. Now he's looking for whoever sent it.

  4. #4
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    Your POV will likely be very different with the luxury of some sleep and introspection. Best wishes and sorry for your loss.

  5. #5
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    F$ck My Life (Right Now)

    It could always be worse.


    Sent from me using my fingers

  6. #6
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    Haha! Poor squirrel.


    I know I need to be a big boy and appreciate what I do have. But just have a hard time understanding how someone you hate another person enough to say the things they do.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by jonshonda View Post
    Haha! Poor squirrel.


    I know I need to be a big boy and appreciate what I do have. But just have a hard time understanding how someone you hate another person enough to say the things they do.
    That really does not make any sense. If it means what I think you think it means, then it just reinforces the old adage that expectations lead to resentments. Take an honest look at what you really think your protagonist is saying, and see if there is any truth in what they are saying.
    Now get on with your life and try and stay honest.
    It's all Here. Now.

  8. #8
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    F$ck My Life (Right Now)

    I don't know the whole story but if a loved one was lost some people don't deal with grief very well. I am a nurse and I have learned that what people say right after a loss is not always what they mean. I would try not to think about it for a couple of days and see how everything plays out.


    Sent from me using my fingers

  9. #9
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    Some great advice here. Letting things play out / "time" will help things sort themselves out. Being mentally strong sounds easier said than done but dig deep and you'll be fine.

    I tried the therapy route a few years ago and the only benefit of that was to the therapists bank account.
    You will be scarred for life if you click my avatar

  10. #10
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    go get yourself your daily shred
    and forgive those who won't let you pass
    and those that pass before you
    lead not yourself into illegal singletrack
    but deliver yourself there...only if it is a sick line

    dominus yobiscuits on your ride

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by dickeydoo View Post

    I tried the therapy route a few years ago and the only benefit of that was to the therapists bank account.
    Do not be too quick to diss therapy as an option, it can help very much if you find the right therapist, and if you are willing and honest in wanting to change and grow, and get healthier. We are ill-equipped to deal with mental health issues ourselves, and it can actually be dangerous to try. You might be amazed to find out just how many of us have some sort of mental health issue, I would even go so far as to say the majority of us have something 'going on' that could benefit from careful therapy. Yes, there are many therapists out there who are not too hot, and definitely have an eye for the fast buck, but there are also many who have a genuine ability and desire to make people mo' bettah!
    It's all Here. Now.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockerc View Post
    Do not be too quick to diss therapy as an option, it can help very much if you find the right therapist, and if you are willing and honest in wanting to change and grow, and get healthier. We are ill-equipped to deal with mental health issues ourselves, and it can actually be dangerous to try. You might be amazed to find out just how many of us have some sort of mental health issue, I would even go so far as to say the majority of us have something 'going on' that could benefit from careful therapy. Yes, there are many therapists out there who are not too hot, and definitely have an eye for the fast buck, but there are also many who have a genuine ability and desire to make people mo' bettah!
    I agree with your whole post. I never was able to find one, after wasting money on 3 different ones , I'm done with them.
    You will be scarred for life if you click my avatar

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by dickeydoo View Post
    I agree with your whole post. I never was able to find one, after wasting money on 3 different ones , I'm done with them.
    Sorry you had such bad experiences, but I am sure there's someone out there who you might relate to. Without knowing what issues you may have it is hard to recommend a course of action, but I might hazard a guess that someone active in recovery may be a good place to start. Addiction and its treatment is a really good place to learn about a better way to look at the world. Not suggesting you have that problem, but many problems are 'interchangeable' to a degree. Many stem from the same places.
    It's all Here. Now.

  14. #14
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    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to 53119 again.
    Front Range, Colorado.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post
    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to 53119 again.
    Got him or her for you.

    And may you always "dominus yobiscuits on your ride"
    You will be scarred for life if you click my avatar

  16. #16
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    Embrace the suck. It shall pass.
    15 Yeti ASR-c
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  17. #17
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    Sendin positive vibes... been there myself in some seriously f'd family axxion.

    It gets better. Get some stupid ass movies to watch- Step Brothers, Monty Python, etc.. One friend of mine watched the Godfather 1 and 2 back to back whenever he was off the rails from family crap. He's had worse shit than me... "sudden" death of a brother among other bone crushing heavy junk 'n stuffs.

    For me, being thankful for my health, friends, etc. and contemplating what insignificant pissants we are in the grand scheme of things. The sun will still rise tomorrow, oceans will be wavin, bikes WILL be ridden

  18. #18
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    You are but a single person, a tiny insignificant speck in the vastness of the universe. Once you realize that you are nothing, nothing really matters much. Just live the time you got and forget the rest.

  19. #19
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    what did the text message say?

  20. #20
    I didn't do it
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    It sounds like you must have an effed up family life if your own mother is sending you such distressful texts after your grandfather's funeral. That's a shame because now you don't have a support system in place to get through these tough times. What about friends? Go hang with them.
    Let's eat Ted
    Let's eat, Ted
    Remember, commas save lives

  21. #21
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    My 2 cents, just find something small you can do that is positive that you been wanting to do, balance checkbook, clean workshop, trim bushes, whatever so you can have some positive short term feedback to youirself. Don't let others including family get you down. You should avoid mind altering substances and focus on getting your smit together. Nothing says "screw you" to bad influences more than someone who is takign charge of their lives and going somewhere. Sometimes others who are Flocked just want to drag you down too so they feel better.

  22. #22
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    I find it helps to tell my mother to 'eff off from time to time.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by the-one1 View Post
    You are but a single person, a tiny insignificant speck in the vastness of the universe. Once you realize that you are nothing, nothing really matters much. Just live the time you got and forget the rest.
    How depressing! Way to have the OP off himself in a hurry! We are not nothing, we are all part of that vastness, and each part is as important as every other part. Think of something that is about as important as you can imagine... now imagine yourself as important as that, Voila!!! See how important to everything, and everyone, you are?
    It's all Here. Now.

  24. #24
    gobsmacked Moderator
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  25. #25
    9 lives
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlonbike View Post
    Ya lot of sad stories and perspectives in that link... lm interested in the woman smiling in the pic. Sometimes you need a distraction from all the tension and I'm liking her attitude.
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  26. #26
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    Thanks for the advice, but good and bad.

    I know it all gets better in time.

    OK, story cliff notes.

    2.5 wks ago wife gave birth to daughter.

    She was pre-mature, life flight to Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (first child same story).

    We pack everything up and drop our 2 yr old off with my Mom.

    Hospital is 2 hrs away, time of stay unknown. Mom gives us some cash to help...thanks mom.

    Daughter doing fine , our son getting spoiled and going to bed too late.

    1 week later daughter transfered back to home town.

    Son is back at home...didn't know I could miss someone sooo much.

    1 week later daughter home

    Very busy at home nesting, very busy at work very large project due, xmas shopping, new baby at home...blah blah.

    So needless to say I am tired and just a bit stressed. I am our families foundation, and happy to be our center of gravity (not being a jerk, just who I am).

    No time to even think of myself, much less anyone else. Daughter, son, wife ranking #1 right now.

    Feel bad as I have to leave for G-pa funeral (not related to my mom as parent divorced when I was very young).

    On my way home from funeral in nasty and stressful snowstorm I get the text from my Mom.

    Paraphrasing

    Gave me shit about not being able to afford the gift she gave us to use while at hospital with our daughter, and how I don't appreciate it.

    Said something about how I didn't buy her breakfast one day, and that is the least I can do.

    Didn't thank her for some chinese food she brought over one night(I did!)

    Freaked out about us being at in-laws for xmas!

    Said I need to realize she is having a tough time, and need to support her more.

    Her timing couldn't be worse, but I think its intentional. My G-ma (her mom) acted the same way and pulled a lot of the same shit. MEGA guilt trips at the worst possible time. Knife is buried, why don't you go ahead and twist is around in there for me.

  27. #27
    gone walk about
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    ^^ wish you well in your endeavors to heal.

  28. #28
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    right there with ya guys/gals....
    mine started before thanksgiving, significant other got into minor fender bender - insurance paid ridiculous amount for a bumper and trunk on a 15 year old car, thought that was the end now the other driver is in chronic pain (of course), and is now suing.
    my son's afterschool care never "received" our payment from September, which we hand to them personally in the form of a money order. and did not make us aware of it until this month and of course wanted $$$ two weeks before Christmas or my son was no longer able to go/we had to miss work to pick him up, find sitter, etc.
    and significant other went in to get mammogram, turned into ultrasound, and biopsy last Wednesday.... we're waiting to hear the results - which should be here today!
    going up to see loved ones day after Christmas, just lost an aunt- not sure how long uncle is going to last without her
    all while maintaining Christmas cheer for my 6 year old and making sure it is a happy time!

  29. #29
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    F$ck My Life (Right Now)

    My two cents: Hate to say it but women can be self-centred without recognizing it. Add hormonal issues and watch out....but don't get sad, get angry and channel that into some physical activity to deal with your stress. Relationship wise, as much as I love and respect my mum, I won't let her get me emotionally invested with negative vitriol or opinions- I'll let her know how I feel and/or disengage (ignore) until she comes around. I'm talking Asian tiger mom here. Nothing was ever good enough for a very long time. But she can't push me around any more because she knows that if she keeps it up, she looses my attention. And she respects me enough to know that I am a good person. So our relationship has been a lot more easier. Don't let her use you as an emotional door mat. It just promotes the behaviour to continue.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  30. #30
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    Bad things happen in life, usually at the worst time...funny how that works....you have no choice but to work through it.

    As mentioned in the first reply, focus on the good, not the bad.

    People grieve in weird ways, maybe your Mom just needs some time to get over things.

    It'll get better. It always does. You might not see it yet.

  31. #31
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    you have kiddos and a long way to go with them so keep an eye on your health/stress levels. i take my cues from my kiddo when stressful times come..and stay resilient.

  32. #32
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    I appreciate all the support, and I must say I am very lucky to have a (mostly) happy and very healthy family.

    Told my mom what I thought, and she kinda blew it off. Things are better now, and I glad another XMAS has passed.

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    You have very little control of the world around you. You have 100% control of how you choose to react to the world.

    Glad your youngest is doing well. Guilt trips suck. Happy new year!

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlonbike View Post
    One of my only fears is what will happen if I die before my cats do. I'm afraid they will be euthanized. Even though I will make provisions for their care, they are not the most loveable cats in the world, and I think that their caregivers will jump at the first opportunity to put them down.

    To the OP....when a death occurs in a family, often, instead of pulling together and sharing in a tine of grief, family members change radically, and simply loot whatever theyt can get from the deceased's estate and carry it off. Sometimes normal relations can be restored, but often they never are the same again.

    I hope that yours will be in the former group.

  35. #35
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    F$ck My Life (Right Now)

    Quote Originally Posted by jonshonda View Post
    I appreciate all the support, and I must say I am very lucky to have a (mostly) happy and very healthy family.

    Told my mom what I thought, and she kinda blew it off. Things are better now, and I glad another XMAS has passed.
    Cool beans...

    Now go ridum bikeum kemosabe
    【ツ】 eDub 【ツ】

  36. #36
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    ...from the words of 2 of the greatest philosophers of all time, Abbott and Costello...
    ...live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.
    take care.
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