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  1. #1
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    Easiest way to carry a sword while riding?

    I'm a gun owner and I love them... but what I need to protect myself from squirrels and bunnies is a sword.

    Please advise.

  2. #2
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    Ninja style with the sword handle over my right shoulder. That way I can work the front brake and swing away with my right arm. Do you think people would honk and yell stupid stuff at you if you have a sword slung across your back?

  3. #3
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    Well, I've tried the hip mounted scabbard but it tends to bounce and jostle as you pedal. If your sword is big enough sometimes it can even clip trees not unlike a bar end. I've used frame mounting on the water bottle cage, but I tend to prefer larger swords and curved swords such as scimitars and katanas don't work so well in that location. Pretty much your best option is a scabbard mounted to your back, but you'll need an X style strap system to keep it in place. Just make sure it's tied in so it doesn't slide out accidentally during an endo! What a mess that would be!

  4. #4
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    Lash the scabbard to your hydration pack, hilt up - Conan style, so you can whip it out and swing it around over you head as you charge the critters at top speed screaming war cries at the top of your lungs.
    Use it, use it, use it while you still have it.

  5. #5
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    Best thread title I've seen in a while. Personally I wouldn't try it...the sword I own would throw me off the bike if I tried to swing it while riding. o.O

  6. #6
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    Go Dundee style, bowie knife. You know, for crocodiles

  7. #7
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    I would lash it to the down tube or seat stay, that way when you leap off the front of your bike at your target, it will be easy to draw.
    Live fast, Die young, Leave a good looking corpse!

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    I'm a gun owner and I love them... but what I need to protect myself from squirrels and bunnies is a sword.

    Please advise.
    It would definitely come in handy in a situation like this.
    Ahhhh...Ahhhh....it's the hammy, it's the hammy!!

  9. #9
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    Sword? Pshaw! Use a lance. Skewer the critters without slowing down. This has the added benefit making it easy to pull your folding grill from your Camelbak and cook up a kebab when you stop for a snack.
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  10. #10
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    I wrap mine around my waist.

  11. #11
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    I prefer to keep mine drawn while I ride. You never know what you will come across! I had to go 1x10 and only use one brake, and it took a while to master riding with one hand, but it's better than being unprepared!

  12. #12
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    This bein' the 21st century and all, have you considered a mace?


  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by dm1333 View Post
    Ninja style with the sword handle over my right shoulder. That way I can work the front brake and swing away with my right arm. Do you think people would honk and yell stupid stuff at you if you have a sword slung across your back?
    This is OK, but I've found it to be problematic when negotiating low-hanging branches as the handle always sticks up too far. The down tube, on your cross-hand side (such that you reach over the top tube to draw it) will work the best.

    Good for machete trail maintenance as well.

    -F

  14. #14
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    really? I thought you were above ths Dion.

  15. #15
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    I would strap the handle to the stem, with the sword facing straight out. Slice and dice with and X-up!
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  16. #16
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    I usually let my second carry it.

  17. #17
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    Double crown rigid fork sheath.

  18. #18
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    Lots of good suggestions here. I carry my ninja sword inverted and diagonal on my hydration pack.
    It has a little catch on the scabbard so it does not fall out while riding. I say it's a ninja sword but I'm not 100 percent on that. I came around a corner on a night ride plowed over this ninja looking person and he dissolved into smoke left some silk pj's (npj's?) and this cool sword I carry at night now.

  19. #19
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    After watching the Bourne series, I learned that you really don't need more than a ball point pen to take out any number of highly skilled adversaries, so that is what I carry. It packs well and the protective cap keeps me from staining my front pocket with ink or blood.

  20. #20
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    ive found it is optimal to carry 2 swords in a "x" pattern sheathed on your back. really helps keep the cog even but if your not on a 29er forget it. a 26er will leave you in a vulnerable low position.

  21. #21
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    Sword's are a little old school, think Laser's.

  22. #22
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    Some of us are elitist and use light sabers. Fits perfectly in the back jersey pocket.
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  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by dmckiwi View Post
    Sword's are a little old school, think Laser's.
    With frickin' sharks attached to them?

  24. #24
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    Sharks?
    It's all Here. Now.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by the_owl View Post
    really? I thought you were above ths Dion.
    Hey. It's my God given right!!!!

  26. #26
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    <<< My avatar suggests that this is not a good idea

  27. #27
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    It's a legit question. Besides, one needs to prepare for the zombie apocalypse.
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  28. #28
    Beer is my spirit animal
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    I think this thread is giving the wrong kind of people inspiration.

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    SUSPICION, MAYFIELD ROAD: Two suspicious-looking males riding bicycles and carrying swords at the intersection of Mayfield and Lee roads were reported to police at 8:26 a.m. Nov. 29. Officers were unable to locate the subjects.
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  29. #29
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    (flame suit on) This board gets more and more like that infantile cesspool otherwise known as Pinkbike everyday. This is the best that MTBR has? Grow the fcuk up.

  30. #30
    Beer is my spirit animal
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    Personally, I think I would use something like this.
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  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by floydlippencott View Post
    (flame suit on) This board gets more and more like that infantile cesspool otherwise known as Pinkbike everyday. This is the best that MTBR has? Grow the fcuk up.
    This thread is quite obviously a sarcastic response to the ludicrous amount of "what gun should I carry while riding?" "do you pack while riding the two miles to work?" "what kind of ammo is best for using on my 29er?" "do they make a suspension carbon fiber grip for my pistol?" threads we've been seeing lately. If it's not your cup of tea, percolate somewhere else.
    “I don't believe anything, but I have many suspicions.”
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spinnyspinspin View Post
    This thread is quite obviously a sarcastic response to the ludicrous amount of "what gun should I carry while riding?" "do you pack while riding the two miles to work?" "what kind of ammo is best for using on my 29er?" "do they make a suspension carbon fiber grip for my pistol?" threads we've been seeing lately. If it's not your cup of tea, percolate somewhere else.



    Yeah I forget sometimes, every 3rd grade thread needs a response.

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by floydlippencott View Post
    (flame suit on) This board gets more and more like that infantile cesspool otherwise known as Pinkbike everyday. This is the best that MTBR has? Grow the fcuk up.


    Apparently it is.

  34. #34
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    Originally Posted by floydlippencott
    (flame suit on) This board gets more and more like that infantile cesspool otherwise known as Pinkbike everyday. This is the best that MTBR has? Grow the fcuk up.


    It is funny and I think he was being ironical (Yes, I understand thats not a word)

    Thousands of other threads that are far more serious. Revel in those, lighten up & just turn the dial.

  35. #35
    Beer is my spirit animal
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    Quote Originally Posted by floydlippencott View Post
    Yeah I forget sometimes, every 3rd grade thread needs a response.
    That's okay. I forget stuff every once in a while, like where I put my sense of humor. You'll find it eventually. Probably.
    “I don't believe anything, but I have many suspicions.”
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  36. #36
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    Did you hear about the sword swallower who worked at a circus and decided to take up mountain biking? Bad idea.

  37. #37
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    Hum, great question. My neighbor supports honor killing, I'll go ask for a qualified opinion.
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  38. #38
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    After hurricanes I have used this setup
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  39. #39
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    Yeah I forget sometimes, every 3rd grade thread needs a response
    Thanks for providing that in this thread! We need to be more serious on this board, heaven forbid we all have a little fun or that somebody gets a little sarcastic once in a while!

  40. #40
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    I think you only have two sensible options:

    Two Handed Great Sword - YouTube

    or if you're not quite man enough, and want a bit broader utility then this shovel might be just the ticket, with the added bonus that you can also use it to dig a hole to take a dump in:

    Special Forces Shovel : Cold Steel Throwing Shovel - YouTube

    Posting on the basis that ignorance shared is ignorance doubled.

  41. #41
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    Light Saber! Why did I not think of that!

    That solves the problem of my knife stabbing me if I stack "real bad". Genius.

  42. #42
    U sayin' Bolt ?
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    Quote Originally Posted by floydlippencott View Post
    (flame suit on) This board gets more and more like that infantile cesspool otherwise known as Pinkbike everyday. This is the best that MTBR has? Grow the fcuk up.
    With your bleached out, super siliconed avatar .. lol
    We swordsmen like natural maidens !

  43. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by the_owl View Post
    really? I thought you were above ths Dion.
    ^^^
    This...

    I think I know who Dion is...

    <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lorZp6a0vCY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
    Quote Originally Posted by William Blake
    Great things are done when men and mountains meet. This is not done by jostling in the street .

  44. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by floydlippencott View Post
    (flame suit on) This board gets more and more like that infantile cesspool otherwise known as Pinkbike everyday. This is the best that MTBR has? Grow the fcuk up.
    Yeah, like other threads about carrying guns while riding, the rep system, 29'er vs. 26", hard tails are dead, bikesdirect is a crime, off-leash dogs on the trails, fighting pedestrians, fighting other riders, fixie hate, lycra makes you gay, etc. All good stuff!

    For every one lame thread I've ever started/participated in, there are 100 serious thread I've started and/or participated in. The rides I've organized, towed people through my local trails, helped other riders... check out the NorCal section every once in awhile and see the infectious positivity that resides there. If happy, goofy riders bother you, maybe the road riding section on bike forums would be more appropriate - scowls, stories of dropping others and "fred" references all around!

    MTBR can get awful sometimes: fellow riders putting each other down, leaving negative rep, having to put people on ignore, political threads, etc. I like it when these boards lighten up every once in awhile - no matter how immature the thread is.

  45. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    Yeah, like other threads about carrying guns while riding, the rep system, 29'er vs. 26", hard tails are dead, bikesdirect is a crime, off-leash dogs on the trails, fighting pedestrians, fighting other riders, fixie hate, lycra makes you gay, etc. All good stuff!

    For every one lame thread I've ever started/participated in, there are 100 serious thread I've started and/or participated in. The rides I've organized, towed people through my local trails, helped other riders... check out the NorCal section every once in awhile and see the infectious positivity that resides there. If happy, goofy riders bother you, maybe the road riding section on bike forums would be more appropriate - scowls, stories of dropping others and "fred" references all around!

    MTBR can get awful sometimes: fellow riders putting each other down, leaving negative rep, having to put people on ignore, political threads, etc. I like it when these boards lighten up every once in awhile - no matter how immature the thread is.



    You know as well as anyone that they only remember your last post.

  46. #46
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    Floydlippencott

    Pretty good guess. I think light sabers came out when I WAS in 3rd grade. I think your avatar has a 3rd grader under each side of her swimsuit top.

  47. #47
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    Troll harder. It's not working.
    Your fear of looking stupid is holding you back.

  48. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    Yeah, like other threads about carrying guns while riding, the rep system, 29'er vs. 26", hard tails are dead, bikesdirect is a crime, off-leash dogs on the trails, fighting pedestrians, fighting other riders, fixie hate, lycra makes you gay, etc. All good stuff!

    For every one lame thread I've ever started/participated in, there are 100 serious thread I've started and/or participated in. The rides I've organized, towed people through my local trails, helped other riders... check out the NorCal section every once in awhile and see the infectious positivity that resides there. If happy, goofy riders bother you, maybe the road riding section on bike forums would be more appropriate - scowls, stories of dropping others and "fred" references all around!

    MTBR can get awful sometimes: fellow riders putting each other down, leaving negative rep, having to put people on ignore, political threads, etc. I like it when these boards lighten up every once in awhile - no matter how immature the thread is.
    Lycra makes you gay?
    Ahhhh...Ahhhh....it's the hammy, it's the hammy!!

  49. #49
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    Funny thing is I actualy do study/practice several styles of Japanese sword arts. No ive never even considered carrying one of my Katana with me while on a ride.

  50. #50
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    Carry it inside your flat bar with an integrated grip/handle.

  51. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by lvdukerider View Post
    Funny thing is I actualy do study/practice several styles of Japanese sword arts. No ive never even considered carrying one of my Katana with me while on a ride.
    I practice Tameshigiri and Kendo...
    I would NEVER dream of bringing my Nihonto on a ride.





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    Great things are done when men and mountains meet. This is not done by jostling in the street .

  52. #52
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    Just put a blade on the end of your seatpost. Stand, release, draw seatblade, slice n' dice, replace seatblade, ride away laughing. Technically not a sword but....

    Next topic: How do I mount my Barrett M82 to my bars.

  53. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by random walk View Post
    With frickin' sharks attached to them?
    Don't be silly Shark's are in the ocean, now a panther with a laser would be much better on a trail.

  54. #54
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    This problem was solved hundreds of years ago. The correct answer is - like a pirate, between your teeth.

  55. #55
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    Does anyone else carry a bat'leth while riding?
    Duct tape iz like teh Force. It has a Lite side and a Dark side and it holdz the Universe together.

  56. #56
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    switchblace hunting knife

    I wrap it around my hips

  57. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by mitzikatzi View Post
    Does anyone else carry a bat'leth while riding?
    Naw. I dispatch my cling on's with toilet paper.
    Your fear of looking stupid is holding you back.

  58. #58
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    ????

  59. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by fivekubes View Post
    ????
    Klingon
    Duct tape iz like teh Force. It has a Lite side and a Dark side and it holdz the Universe together.

  60. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeaBass_ View Post
    Carry it inside your flat bar with an integrated grip/handle.

    HaHa, somebody named ...... negged me for this!

  61. #61
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    "HaHa, somebody named ...... negged me for this!"

    Me, too. Wow, it's bad enough to not have the balls to sign your neg rep once, but twice and possibly thricely if there are victims who have not yet come forward? Dirty pool, my good man. Dirty pool.
    “I don't believe anything, but I have many suspicions.”
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  62. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by mitzikatzi View Post
    Does anyone else carry a bat'leth while riding?
    I'm sure if Worf rode a mountain bike he would have one attached to the bars for easy access.

  63. #63
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    When I was attacked by an elderly gentlema post-dine, I was wishing I had my ninja star set with me but alas, I was out of luck. I di believe he had it coming to him, the whopping that was put down on him for slowing my progress.
    Stick around if you're housebroken...

  64. #64
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    Sword?

    Keep it tucked in your pants like the rest of us do. Or is it only a dirk?

  65. #65
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    All good suggestions! lol...
    2011 Salsa Mukluk / 2006 KTM 400 EXC

  66. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spinnyspinspin View Post
    "HaHa, somebody named ...... negged me for this!"

    Me, too. Wow, it's bad enough to not have the balls to sign your neg rep once, but twice and possibly thricely if there are victims who have not yet come forward? Dirty pool, my good man. Dirty pool.
    Me thrice, received 02-05-2012 11:52 AM, I was ashamed to come forward at first and admit to it, but since there are others, I feel it my duty to.
    Ahhhh...Ahhhh....it's the hammy, it's the hammy!!

  67. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    I'm a gun owner and I love them... but what I need to protect myself from squirrels and bunnies is a sword.

    Please advise.
    While not exactly a sword, I have sharpened the end of my seatpost to a razor-like edge. Just flip my quick release and whip it out. If it can handle the odd trail vampire it should handle small furry animals.

  68. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazy03 View Post
    Me thrice, received 02-05-2012 11:52 AM, I was ashamed to come forward at first and admit to it, but since there are others, I feel it my duty to.
    That's the first step towards putting your life back together after an experience like this. Be strong.

    Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk
    Last edited by Spinnyspinspin; 02-08-2012 at 09:19 AM.
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  69. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by thrasher_s View Post
    While not exactly a sword, I have sharpened the end of my seatpost to a razor-like edge. Just flip my quick release and whip it out. If it can handle the odd trail vampire it should handle small furry animals.
    If my vampire Intel is correct, doesn't it need to be made of wood to effectively take one down?
    Ahhhh...Ahhhh....it's the hammy, it's the hammy!!

  70. #70
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    I also prefer a Bat'leth. It can be used to slice either way and block.
    It's made out of 8mm Klingon Unobtanium and is about 1.3 meter tip to tip.

    Easiest way to carry a sword while riding?-batleth-002.jpg
    Communist Party Member Since 1917.

  71. #71
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    I almost forgot to add, that I prefer to let my sword hang down the middle and hope it doesn't get caught in the chain-rings.
    Communist Party Member Since 1917.

  72. #72
    Beer is my spirit animal
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ericmopar View Post
    I also prefer a Bat'leth. It can be used to slice either way and block.
    It's made out of 8mm Klingon Unobtanium and is about 1.3 meter tip to tip.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    Please tell me that's a signed picture of Jaws!
    “I don't believe anything, but I have many suspicions.”
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  73. #73
    Maaaaan
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spinnyspinspin View Post
    Please tell me that's a signed picture of Jaws!
    It is in fact a signed picture of Richard Kiel. I met him at a Las Vegas Trek convention.
    Communist Party Member Since 1917.

  74. #74
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    Ninja swords, hmmm. And all this time I've been packing a blo-gun. I geuss I'll have to hit the flea-market this weekend
    Only if I got paid to hang out in my garage and tweak on my bikes...

  75. #75
    Pale Rider
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    All of you are seriously misguided...

    Why bring a knife to a gunfight?

  76. #76
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    Light Sabre here. I've found it packs on a bike much easier than a sword.

  77. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by rockNnachos View Post
    Light Sabre here. I've found it packs on a bike much easier than a sword.
    True, you can fit one in a hydration pack real easy, but then there's that nasty burning hair smell when you use it.
    Communist Party Member Since 1917.

  78. #78
    bay area CA
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    Quote Originally Posted by floydlippencott View Post
    (flame suit on) This board gets more and more like that infantile cesspool otherwise known as Pinkbike everyday. This is the best that MTBR has? Grow the fcuk up.
    gow up!? youre the one with an avatar of a girl with gigantic breasts. its all in good humor, take it easy.

  79. #79
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    i used to spend the summers with my cousins in east side san jose, and i remember the deebo like figure of the neighborhood use to ride a beach cruiser with a machete attached to the top tube.

  80. #80
    R.I.P. Pugsley.
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    Sword's and machete's are overrated.
    (thank's to Bighit's UGV So Ugly it's Beautiful NSFW !)
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  81. #81
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    2015 Scott Foil Team Issue
    2015 Kona Process 111
    2015 Salsa Mukluk 2


    I am employed by a bike shop.

  82. #82
    B42
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    Why a sword?

    I just bring my off leash dog. Good work fido!

    ## Every time I cheat death it reinforces the adolescent belief that I'm invincible. ##

  83. #83
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    I think you all are missing the obvious choice of - on the fork legs. You can easily carry two swords with the scabbards attached to the lower fork legs, handles up. You can carry a sword of almost any shape and size that way. You also have very easy access
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  84. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by floydlippencott View Post
    (flame suit on) This board gets more and more like that infantile cesspool otherwise known as Pinkbike everyday. This is the best that MTBR has? Grow the fcuk up.
    This is a very serious topic. Somebody could get seriously injured or killed if they do not carry their sword properly while on a mtn bike
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  85. #85
    Weird huh?
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    I mount 2. One each on the front hubs, blades out, Ben Hur chariot style. When you spot the offending rodentia in your path, simply steer for them.

    And Dion, you prolly need to post this on the NorCal forum where it rightfully belongs
    Poaching Demo...that's why we can't have nice things...

  86. #86
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    Use a Machete instead for jungle environments

  87. #87
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    I lol'ed at work just reading the title of this thread

  88. #88
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    you have to be fast enough to bike away and you don't need a sword

  89. #89
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    You could also use your old cassette cogs as shurikens and cut out a bat blade off your old chainrings. Those shark finned teeth will take care of the rabies infected furry with great result.

    And I'm in for the katana (the Ninja sword model, straight blade) back carry with strap. If they can do an handful of back flips and barrel roll with it, why can't we MTB with one ? Plus I take Nin-Jutsu training and I'm not afraid of drawing a sword out with open finger gloves
    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleB28 View Post
    topless. that's what all mtb girls do. we go ride, get topless, have pillow fights in the woods, scissor, then ride home!

  90. #90
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    Oh the visuals I am getting from this thread!

  91. #91
    R.I.P. Pugsley.
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    For accurate stabbings.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Easiest way to carry a sword while riding?-knife_tactical_scope.jpg  


  92. #92
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    I will carry a Short sword if I can wear my helm too.


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  93. #93
    AZ
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigsexy View Post
    Carry-on



    Nice addition to the thread. Yeah it was me that turned you red.

  94. #94
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    WTF? How did this get bumped?

  95. #95
    AZ
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    WTF? How did this get bumped?
    Spammer, padding post count.

  96. #96
    Suckin wind like a boss
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    WTF? How did this get bumped?
    im glad it was, this is a gem compared to some of the drivel thats been posted lately.
    If you arent bleeding, you arent riding hard enough.
    http://about.me/bigterry

    Quote Originally Posted by Hutch3637 View Post
    I don't need sex. My life fvcks me daily.

  97. #97
    clown question, bro
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    I forgot how fantastic this thread was.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ilikebmx999 View Post
    Are we just ignoring balls? Lol

  98. #98
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    Browsed through the entire thread...I can't believe the stuff that was posted, kept me entertained for most the morning though ha!
    “Born to lose, live to win.” - Lemmy Kilmister

  99. #99
    tl1
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    You need a breakdown sword

    Quote Originally Posted by Dion View Post
    I'm a gun owner and I love them... but what I need to protect myself from squirrels and bunnies is a sword.

    Please advise.
    Maybe S and S Machine can help.

  100. #100
    ******
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    **** yeah spam-bot bump. This thread was the ****.

    So back on topic: attatch them to your seatstays. That way you can draw them fairly easily and hack the squirrel to bits as he (or she) lunges for your nether regions. Watch out about cutting of your nether regions though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tone's View Post
    Id scrap the passion forum all together, its a breeding ground for unicorn milkers, rainbow chasers and candy cotton farters.

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