View Poll Results: Are I mean?

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  • Yup. Bacon is for sharing. If you can't share, you shouldn't eat it.

    6 13.64%
  • Nope. Those little noise machines deserved to be reminded of their lack of bacon.

    38 86.36%
Results 1 to 47 of 47
  1. #1
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    Does this make me a bad person?

    There's an elementary school right behind my house -- their playground fence is my patio fence.

    So yesterday, I was cooking bacon for lunch and I had the back/kitchen door open. I went outside for a minute, and there was this kid chanting, "Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!" Except he sounded like a zombie. So I ate my bacon and continued with my day.

    Today, I was finishing off the bacon for lunch, so I opened the door and wafted the delicious smell of frying bacon outside, just to remind the kids that I have bacon and they don't.

    Does that mean I'm going to hell now?
    Sometimes, I question the value of my content.

  2. #2
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    You didn't eat it outside in front of them? Fail.

  3. #3
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    You can't be too mean. Otherwise they'll throw their poo at you or tell the cops you molested them.

  4. #4
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    The authorities allow you to live that close to a school?

  5. #5
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    Bacon is never shared, EVER.
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  6. #6
    heaven help me
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    I hear that the bacon in hell is better than the bacon in heaven.

  7. #7
    meow meow
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    tuanting little kids with bacon is pretty low, c'mon man.

  8. #8
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    So yesterday, I was cooking bacon for lunch and I had the back/kitchen door open. I went outside for a minute, and there was this kid chanting, "Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!" Except he sounded like a zombie. So I ate my bacon and continued with my day.

    There is your answer. You had to eat. If it was a zombie, it could have ended really badly

  9. #9
    Carbon or Commie?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xcisok View Post
    So yesterday, I was cooking bacon for lunch and I had the back/kitchen door open. I went outside for a minute, and there was this kid chanting, "Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!" Except he sounded like a zombie. So I ate my bacon and continued with my day.

    There is your answer. You had to eat. If it was a zombie, it could have ended really badly
    I say you failed... though in failure, you achieved the best possible result, which is bacon.

    BE DECISIVE, if it's a zombie, SHOOT TIL THE MAG IS DRY!!!... don't wait for it to spread.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by axisofoil View Post
    I say you failed... though in failure, you achieved the best possible result, which is bacon.

    BE DECISIVE, if it's a zombie, SHOOT TIL THE MAG IS DRY!!!... don't wait for it to spread.
    Pumping a whole mag into 1 zombie isnt street smart. Who knows, there could be more zombies after the bacon.

    The key is to 'double tap' and move on

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by AZ.MTNS View Post
    The authorities allow you to live that close to a school?
    Yeah, he's an unregistered offender.

    Here's how he actually wanted the story to go:

    So yesterday, I was cooking bacon for lunch and I had the back/kitchen door open. I went outside for a minute, and there was a kid chanting, "Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!" Except he sounded like a zombie. So I ate the zombie and continued with my day.

  12. #12
    somehow still alive
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    crap. I clicked the wrong one to vote!
    Not what you think.

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  13. #13
    somehow still alive
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    Not what you think.

    My videos

  14. #14
    no trees are safe
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    Should of shared the love mate.

  15. #15
    somehow still alive
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    Quote Originally Posted by Millfox View Post
    Should of shared the love mate.
    whoa.. this is bacon, not rep.

    if those kids need bacon, parents need to provide.
    Not what you think.

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  16. #16
    no trees are safe
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    But theres never enough bacon! In order to embrace the bacon you need to share the bacon so that your soul may reach eternity!

    Erm... pardon me. It's the bacon talking from my blood.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grinderz View Post
    Pumping a whole mag into 1 zombie isnt street smart. Who knows, there could be more zombies after the bacon.

    The key is to 'double tap' and move on
    ummm, apparently you arnt street smart either, zombies are attracted to sound. knife that son o' a ***** and move on. guns are a last resort.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by b-kul View Post
    ummm, apparently you arnt street smart either, zombies are attracted to sound. knife that son o' a ***** and move on. guns are a last resort.
    Who said that attracting more bacon eating zombies was a bad thing

    Zombies dont attack each other. They dont lie, steal or discriminate. In almost all ways they are better than people. Maybe by attacking us, they are just trying to make us bacon hogging human beings better.

    I cant wait to shoot one of them smug jerks!


  19. #19
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    you should cook the bacon outside on a grill, right by the fence...

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Millfox View Post
    But theres never enough bacon!
    There actually isn't enough bacon.

    Start Hoarding Now: A Global Bacon Shortage Is Coming? | TIME.com
    Sometimes, I question the value of my content.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grinderz View Post
    Who said that attracting more bacon eating zombies was a bad thing

    Zombies dont attack each other. They dont lie, steal or discriminate. In almost all ways they are better than people. Maybe by attacking us, they are just trying to make us bacon hogging human beings better.

    I cant wait to shoot one of them smug jerks!

    well zombies dont ride bieks so.... your move bra

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by b-kul View Post
    well zombies dont ride bieks so.... your move bra
    Oh yes they do!!!
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by ambassadorhawg View Post
    Oh yes they do!!!
    So looks like zombie's do ride bikes but the real question is

    26er or 29er ?

  24. #24
    somehow still alive
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xcisok View Post
    So looks like zombie's do ride bikes but the real question is

    26er or 29er ?
    650b is zombie friendly
    Not what you think.

    My videos

  25. #25
    Ride More, Work Less
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    Currently, bacon is only packaged in a single serving size, so sharing really isn't possible. Now if you buy a whole pork belly, you might, just maybe, have enough bacon to share with a vegetarian or two.

    How about some carve-your-own slab bacon to brighten your night?


    If your scratch the screen and smell, you may smell bacon. You may also smell what ever was lingering under your finger nails.

  26. #26
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    That's me, fourth one back in the pack, by the way...

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by AZ.MTNS View Post
    The authorities allow you to live that close to a school?
    What's "authorities"?
    Sometimes, I question the value of my content.

  28. #28
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    I think you should step up the game from 'amature fence defences' to something a little more 'entertaining'

    This should work:


  29. #29
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    Bacon - baconmockup

  30. #30
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    buy a smoker and a giant pork butt and wait till the wind is blowing towards the school. you'll have hottie teachers climbing the fence to get at your meat!

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by az.mtns View Post
    the authorities allow you to live that close to a school?
    lol!!

  32. #32
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    I give this thread a few hours before a certain vegan shows up with extremely long winded posts about how awful meat is for us... Speaking of, is bacon grease like holy water for such meat haters?

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by OCtrailMonkey View Post
    I give this thread a few hours before a certain vegan shows up with extremely long winded posts about how awful meat is for us... Speaking of, is bacon grease like holy water for such meat haters?
    It'll certainly burn them.
    Sometimes, I question the value of my content.

  34. #34
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    LOL. Probably had them begging because Michelle Obama thinks starving kids will make them healthier. Make some money and charge kids for the bacon. You'll make a fortune.

  35. #35
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    You got no bacon you got no bacon, you got no bacon/ You on the welfare, you on the welfare/ And you daddy's an alcoholic/ Want some?/ Psych!

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    I am slow therefore I am

  36. #36
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    Hey you kids............................................GE T OUT OF MY YARD!

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by AZ.MTNS View Post
    The authorities allow you to live that close to a school?
    Funniest response in here.
    Sometimes, you need to go fast enough that the trail is a blur to find clarity. -- Wild Bill

  38. #38
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    Beggin strips, zombies wont know its not real bacon.

  39. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huskywolf View Post
    Beggin strips, zombies wont know its not real bacon.
    Except fake bacon costs more than real bacon

  40. #40
    No Stranger to danger....
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    No, stuff em, you should totally cover the house with it like a render and get a few big guard dogs to keep the kids at bay, you could throw them a strip and watch the fight for it for your entertainment,
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

  41. #41
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    Bacon is not meant for sharing. If it was, then it would say so on the packaging.

    Boss Bacon Burger - Epic Meal Time - YouTube

  42. #42
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    you could have been nicer, like getting a fan to blow the smell of bacon into the school yard.

  43. #43
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    I would fry bacon strips, tie them in a piglet, coat it in bacon fat and let it loose around the neighborhood.
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  44. #44
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    you suck

    i am one of the kids...










    Quote Originally Posted by erik1245 View Post
    There's an elementary school right behind my house -- their playground fence is my patio fence.

    So yesterday, I was cooking bacon for lunch and I had the back/kitchen door open. I went outside for a minute, and there was this kid chanting, "Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!" Except he sounded like a zombie. So I ate my bacon and continued with my day.

    Today, I was finishing off the bacon for lunch, so I opened the door and wafted the delicious smell of frying bacon outside, just to remind the kids that I have bacon and they don't.

    Does that mean I'm going to hell now?

  45. #45
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    Bacon bandaids?

    "Very few people know of the amazing healing powers that bacon possesses. Bacon is so powerful, in fact, that they now make bacon bandaids to help quickly heal your open cuts and wounds."
    Bacon Bandaids

  46. #46
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    Or if you want to be more festive.

    Bacon Candy Canes
    "BACON. Itís delicious, it smells like heaven, and itís the perfect flavor for any kind of edibles Ė especially candy canes."
    Bacon Candy Canes

  47. #47
    No Stranger to danger....
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    id like to see a whole house or a building made out of bacon, and make a family of vegetarians or vegans live in it....
    Dont ever let the truth get in the way of a funny story....

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