View Poll Results: Are I mean?

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  • Yup. Bacon is for sharing. If you can't share, you shouldn't eat it.

    6 13.64%
  • Nope. Those little noise machines deserved to be reminded of their lack of bacon.

    38 86.36%
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  1. #1
    Bro
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    Does this make me a bad person?

    There's an elementary school right behind my house -- their playground fence is my patio fence.

    So yesterday, I was cooking bacon for lunch and I had the back/kitchen door open. I went outside for a minute, and there was this kid chanting, "Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!" Except he sounded like a zombie. So I ate my bacon and continued with my day.

    Today, I was finishing off the bacon for lunch, so I opened the door and wafted the delicious smell of frying bacon outside, just to remind the kids that I have bacon and they don't.

    Does that mean I'm going to hell now?
    I've made some bad decisions like taking the gears off my bike. So here's the warning: Do not as I say, nor as I do.

  2. #2
    I'm your density
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    You didn't eat it outside in front of them? Fail.
    "Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left."
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  3. #3
    mtbr member
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    You can't be too mean. Otherwise they'll throw their poo at you or tell the cops you molested them.

  4. #4
    AZ
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    The authorities allow you to live that close to a school?

  5. #5
    derp
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    Bacon is never shared, EVER.
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  6. #6
    sock skeleton
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    I hear that the bacon in hell is better than the bacon in heaven.

  7. #7
    usually cranky
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    tuanting little kids with bacon is pretty low, c'mon man.

  8. #8
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    So yesterday, I was cooking bacon for lunch and I had the back/kitchen door open. I went outside for a minute, and there was this kid chanting, "Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!" Except he sounded like a zombie. So I ate my bacon and continued with my day.

    There is your answer. You had to eat. If it was a zombie, it could have ended really badly

  9. #9
    Carbon or Commie?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xcisok View Post
    So yesterday, I was cooking bacon for lunch and I had the back/kitchen door open. I went outside for a minute, and there was this kid chanting, "Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!" Except he sounded like a zombie. So I ate my bacon and continued with my day.

    There is your answer. You had to eat. If it was a zombie, it could have ended really badly
    I say you failed... though in failure, you achieved the best possible result, which is bacon.

    BE DECISIVE, if it's a zombie, SHOOT TIL THE MAG IS DRY!!!... don't wait for it to spread.

  10. #10
    Gumnut Peddler
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    Quote Originally Posted by axisofoil View Post
    I say you failed... though in failure, you achieved the best possible result, which is bacon.

    BE DECISIVE, if it's a zombie, SHOOT TIL THE MAG IS DRY!!!... don't wait for it to spread.
    Pumping a whole mag into 1 zombie isnt street smart. Who knows, there could be more zombies after the bacon.

    The key is to 'double tap' and move on

  11. #11
    official eMpTyBRain
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    Quote Originally Posted by AZ.MTNS View Post
    The authorities allow you to live that close to a school?
    Yeah, he's an unregistered offender.

    Here's how he actually wanted the story to go:

    So yesterday, I was cooking bacon for lunch and I had the back/kitchen door open. I went outside for a minute, and there was a kid chanting, "Bacon! Bacon! Bacon!" Except he sounded like a zombie. So I ate the zombie and continued with my day.
    ...and proud member of the anti-sock puppet desolation

  12. #12
    somehow still alive
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    crap. I clicked the wrong one to vote!
    Not what you think.

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  13. #13
    somehow still alive
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    Not what you think.

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  14. #14
    no trees are safe
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    Should of shared the love mate.

  15. #15
    somehow still alive
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    Quote Originally Posted by Millfox View Post
    Should of shared the love mate.
    whoa.. this is bacon, not rep.

    if those kids need bacon, parents need to provide.
    Not what you think.

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  16. #16
    no trees are safe
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    But theres never enough bacon! In order to embrace the bacon you need to share the bacon so that your soul may reach eternity!

    Erm... pardon me. It's the bacon talking from my blood.

  17. #17
    usually cranky
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grinderz View Post
    Pumping a whole mag into 1 zombie isnt street smart. Who knows, there could be more zombies after the bacon.

    The key is to 'double tap' and move on
    ummm, apparently you arnt street smart either, zombies are attracted to sound. knife that son o' a ***** and move on. guns are a last resort.

  18. #18
    Gumnut Peddler
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    Quote Originally Posted by b-kul View Post
    ummm, apparently you arnt street smart either, zombies are attracted to sound. knife that son o' a ***** and move on. guns are a last resort.
    Who said that attracting more bacon eating zombies was a bad thing

    Zombies dont attack each other. They dont lie, steal or discriminate. In almost all ways they are better than people. Maybe by attacking us, they are just trying to make us bacon hogging human beings better.

    I cant wait to shoot one of them smug jerks!


  19. #19
    ride more
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    you should cook the bacon outside on a grill, right by the fence...

  20. #20
    Bro
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    Quote Originally Posted by Millfox View Post
    But theres never enough bacon!
    There actually isn't enough bacon.

    Start Hoarding Now: A Global Bacon Shortage Is Coming? | TIME.com
    I've made some bad decisions like taking the gears off my bike. So here's the warning: Do not as I say, nor as I do.

  21. #21
    usually cranky
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grinderz View Post
    Who said that attracting more bacon eating zombies was a bad thing

    Zombies dont attack each other. They dont lie, steal or discriminate. In almost all ways they are better than people. Maybe by attacking us, they are just trying to make us bacon hogging human beings better.

    I cant wait to shoot one of them smug jerks!

    well zombies dont ride bieks so.... your move bra

  22. #22
    official eMpTyBRain
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    Quote Originally Posted by b-kul View Post
    well zombies dont ride bieks so.... your move bra
    Oh yes they do!!!
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    ...and proud member of the anti-sock puppet desolation

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by ambassadorhawg View Post
    Oh yes they do!!!
    So looks like zombie's do ride bikes but the real question is

    26er or 29er ?

  24. #24
    somehow still alive
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xcisok View Post
    So looks like zombie's do ride bikes but the real question is

    26er or 29er ?
    650b is zombie friendly
    Not what you think.

    My videos

  25. #25
    Ride More, Whine Less
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    Currently, bacon is only packaged in a single serving size, so sharing really isn't possible. Now if you buy a whole pork belly, you might, just maybe, have enough bacon to share with a vegetarian or two.

    How about some carve-your-own slab bacon to brighten your night?


    If your scratch the screen and smell, you may smell bacon. You may also smell what ever was lingering under your finger nails.

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