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  1. #1
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    Crazy Azzed Nieghbors

    My wife and I bought our house a year ago. It was a brand new house and we got to do a lot towards setting it up. It is also our first house.
    Our next door neighbors are awesome! We all get together on the weekends and party. We help each other with mowing lawns, watching kids, whatever. Those houses are also brand new.
    The neighbors right behind us however have been there for 9 years. When we moved in, they had morning glory flowers growing over the fences and spilling into our yard. They seemed friendly and we talked a lot. They told us the flowers were no big deal, cut them back whenever we needed to. When the flowers went dormant last fall, we trimmed them back to the top of the fence.
    Last Thursday, after my wife dropped our girls off at school, which is two doors down from their home, the husband came out and acosted my wife. He took her into their back yard and showed her their morning glory plants, all dead. He accused us of poisoning them.
    This morning, after dropping off the kids at school, the wife came out in full-on attack mode. Screaming and yelling at my wife about killing her 'beautiful flowers'. She had a picture printed out of what the flowers looked like before we moved in, to show how they used to look. This b!tch wasn't interested in talking like normal people. It was full on, get in your face, attack mode.
    Naturally, I told my wife to immediately call the police the next time this happens. I want a report filed, in case this starts getting really ugly.

    However, for now, I want to start truly tweaking them. Loud music in the backyard, all weekend. Maybe something raunchy like some NWA, 2 Live Crew, etc.. We were also thinking about planting something invasive along the back fence line. Bamboo and blackberries are tops on our lists. But thats going to take some time. For sure, I am going to be cleaning my guns in the backyard this weekend. I might scrawl a GFY in their lawn with Round Up.

    So I turn to the OC for ideas on how to tweak them. I want to make their lives uncomfortable, but not get too crazy about things.
    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  2. #2
    No known cure
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    Beware about the bamboo and vines. It could be considered "trespassing" and it's on you to remove anything from their property. This works both ways.

    I live in a national forest and have weekenders' kids playing in my back yard. I've told them they aren't welcome and have sprayed them with the hose while "watering" my yard. But they're playing right outside my bedroom window while I'm napping before work, and even playing under my house in the buildup. I don't want any liability if I "lock" them in. The parents don't care so I might have to scare them with the big watchdog. Effin Flatlanders. Don't call the cops either. No one wins when they show up.
    Ripping trails and tipping ales

  3. #3
    gobsmacked Moderator
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    Let it go. Why escalate? Pretty soon pets are poisoned and suddenly, we'll all see your real names under a new thread called, "batshit crazy neighbors in the news thread."

    Not worth the effort. Not worth the risk. Not worth the brain cells.

  4. #4
    ~Disc~Golf~
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    Grow pot



    win/win
    Honestly... ahh I give up

  5. #5
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    Crazy Azzed Nieghbors

    Quote Originally Posted by girlonbike View Post
    Let it go. Why escalate? Pretty soon pets are poisoned and suddenly, we'll all see your real names under a new thread called, "batshit crazy neighbors in the news thread."

    Not worth the effort. Not worth the risk. Not worth the brain cells.
    You're no fun at all.

    Anybody else?

    And no Delll, I'm not growing weed. Ya stoner


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    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  6. #6
    gobsmacked Moderator
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    Crazy Azzed Nieghbors

    Fine. Little eyeholes in the fence, and get some pictures of eyeballs, laminate them and tack them on your side of the fence. Get a gas leaf blower. 6am on Saturday....
    Wanted: WTB rollercams and brake bridges

  7. #7
    ~Disc~Golf~
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brewtality View Post
    You're no fun at all.

    Anybody else?

    And no Delll, I'm not growing weed. Ya stoner


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    OK, this may be playing on the fears of the bigoted (if they are) and it will require an actual horn-style loudspeaker to get the timbre just right.

    Play a Adhad/Azan at prescribed times throughout the day - Most Beautiful Azan ever heard. - YouTube
    Honestly... ahh I give up

  8. #8
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    Bamboo grows plenty quick. It's always sprouting up behind our yard (luckily no neighbors there) and it's usually possible to see the difference in growth between one day and the next. Give it a week or two and it's already above your fence.
    I've made some bad decisions like taking the gears off my bike. So here's the warning: Do not as I say, nor as I do.

  9. #9
    Bro
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    Or, you could grow some morning glory flowers in your yard and let them spill out into the neighbors' yard.
    I've made some bad decisions like taking the gears off my bike. So here's the warning: Do not as I say, nor as I do.

  10. #10
    pin it
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    Quote Originally Posted by highdelll View Post
    Grow pot



    win/win
    Morning Glories will also get you high

    Crazy Azzed Nieghbors-morning_glory_1.img_assist_custom-600x450.jpg

    Morning Glory

    The seeds are very similar to LSD, both morning glory and Hawaiian baby woodrose seeds contain LSA (lysergic acid amide), a psychedelic similar to LSD but about one tenth of the strength. Most seeds sold at stores are coated with a substance designed to make you feel ill and the best way to consume it is to extract it or find untainted seeds. The effects can last up to 14 hours and apparently produce a dreamlike state.

    5 Plants That Can Get You High
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  11. #11
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    Why make their lives uncomfortable? Won't that just give you guys a lot of stress? What would be your ultimate goal? I would apologise for what happened to their flowers, obviously something was done that killed em off, whether intentional or not, and get on with your lives. You seem to have a good thing going with the other neighbors, so make the most of that and try and ignore the ones out back. Life is too short to fill it with the kind of antagonism you mention.
    It's all Here. Now.

  12. #12
    High Desert MTBer
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    Oh Wait! This is the OC!

    Invite em round for a BBQ to make good on the flower murder, put LSD in the burgers... sit back, relax, watch...
    It's all Here. Now.

  13. #13
    Super Clyde
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    Crazy Azzed Nieghbors

    Sign them up for publishers clearing house, and any other free magazine you can find. You can also sign the husband up for NAMBLA (North American Man Boy Live Association). Not that I've done that before or anything.


    Sent from a telecommunication device with a touch screen keyboard.
    I wouldn't **** you, you're my favorite turd.

  14. #14
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    You had morning glory flowers growing over your fence and spilling into your yard and you cut them down? What the hell is wrong with you? They were fine until you and your wife came along.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlonbike View Post
    Let it go. Why escalate? Pretty soon pets are poisoned and suddenly, we'll all see your real names under a new thread called, "batshit crazy neighbors in the news thread."
    Location must be Florida, all the crazy sh!t seems to happen there.

  16. #16
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    If you're serious I think you should reconsider. Put the shoe on the other foot. Sh!tty people suck, don't be a sh!tty person. I would try being nice first. Maybe buy them some new flowers and offer to help plant them. That should show them that you don't mind, and therefore didn't do anything to their flowers. Even if you're right and they're wrong that doesn't make it better. Your house, your family, and your life, but that's my take.
    If that doesn't work and they're just aholes then all bets are off and it's time to fight fire with fire. Let us know, I can offer some good ideas.
    Round and round we go

  17. #17
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    Apologize, invite them in for dinner. Kidnap & bind them up. Keep them in a closet, basement, or attic. Slow torture...
    ...and proud member of the anti-sock puppet desolation

  18. #18
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    Crazy Azzed Nieghbors

    Quote Originally Posted by askibum02 View Post
    Sign them up for publishers clearing house, and any other free magazine you can find. You can also sign the husband up for NAMBLA (North American Man Boy Live Association).
    Now this is the kind of stuff I'm looking for. Bum here knows how to have fun with this situation.

    I think we would have been willing to play nice and talk things over, until the wife went on her rant yesterday. Hell, plants are cheap. I would have bought them a morning glory plant just to make nice. Yesterday changed things for us. These people are not reasonable people.



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    Its all Shits and Giggles until somebody Giggles and Shits

  19. #19
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    As we say on another forum when neighbor-related problems come up.... Bang his wife!

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRed390 View Post
    As we say on another forum when neighbor-related problems come up.... Bang his wife!
    Or have all the neighbors over for a key party.

  21. #21
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    Well it depends on how big of an @sshole you wanna be, and how big your balls are.
    Could put sugar or a shredded golf ball into gas tank.
    Could take a sharp shovel and cut up the sprinkler system lines without a trace.
    Could get meadow in a can type stuff and sprinkle lawn.
    Could get a few bags of gravel and pour down into the house vent that sticks throu the roof.
    Could send some flowers to the wife when you know the husband's home with some made up lovers name.
    I personally would do little things in there face that piss them off and wait/hope that he confronts me again.
    Round and round we go

  22. #22
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    Play that for them on repeat.

  23. #23
    Meatbomb
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    Just remember that playing loud music will also annoy the neighbors you still like. Ignore the *******s and go about your life...

  24. #24
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    I thought Morning Glories were weeds. I guess not. I figure realistically you know what to do, but since this is the OC...

    Wait for Tone's to chime in on the topic.. He was great in helping me with a teenager. Body is completely dissolved and fed to the hogs at the farm a few miles down the road. He'll probably suggest banging the wife as part of the deal though and agree with the kidnapping/torture idea.

    Offer to replace the plants and then plant with poison ivy and pot on their side and call the cops out of concern once the pot is growing.

    Make a claim on the fence saying it's on your property and have them pay for the claim issue to make sure it's theirs.

    Get a telescope and point it at their house claiming you are just protecting the property out of concern for the flowers. Wave at the wife while doing said inspection. If she's ugly..make faces.

    Walk out in the yard buck naked while watering the flowers you replaced for them.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by theMeat View Post
    If you're serious I think you should reconsider. Put the shoe on the other foot. Sh!tty people suck, don't be a sh!tty person. I would try being nice first. Maybe buy them some new flowers and offer to help plant them. That should show them that you don't mind, and therefore didn't do anything to their flowers. Even if you're right and they're wrong that doesn't make it better. Your house, your family, and your life, but that's my take.
    If that doesn't work and they're just aholes then all bets are off and it's time to fight fire with fire. Let us know, I can offer some good ideas.
    I'm thinking the same. I'm not a mean person by nature. I'd have to assume that my crazy neighbor will be better at being crazy and doing mean things than I ever could. I'd up theMeat's plan by showing up on their doorstep with the plants and a six pack, wine, or ice tea to share with them. Not to mention it's never good to become your enemy. Furthermore, this is a good life lesson for your children and how to resolve conflicts at least try to resolve conflicts.

    I'm also down with the pot idea, but it would be along the idea of smoking pot to help forget about the neighbor.

    I'm a land surveyor and I've seen some pretty awful things that neighbors do to each other. Their lives are miserable and one usually ends up moving. I'm usually involved about the time a lawsuit happens. The only people that ever wins in these cases are the lawyers. Don't be a hater.

    But then of course there's this -Satisfying, Harmless Revenge on Your Neighbor with Liquid ASS

    No matter what, revenge is best served cold. Give them a chance to cool off before going rambo on them. Retaliators usually get busted.

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