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  1. #1
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    Cool-blue Rhythm Chain Lube secrets!



    I was having problems keeping my drive train running good but it would always get very dry very fast. No lube seemed to do the trick. (i tried ALL of them) Then i found the secret that the bike industry doesn't want you to know about.

    My drive train was dry and crusty, without flavor.

     photo 0709131957.jpg





    Follow these easy steps to get buttery smooth shifting,


    First sneak into the fridge and find NON SALTED butter. I've heard of people using the salted kind and that's just stupid.

     photo 0709131958.jpg


    Get some butter but, NOT ALL OF IT. You'll piss the wife off if you steal all her butter.


     photo 0709131958a.jpg



    Start with a light coat gently turning the wheel backwards

     photo 0709131959.jpg


    Then just smash that sh*t in every nook and cranny.

     photo 0709132000a.jpg


     photo 0709132001.jpg



    And your good!!

    Here's the post ride shots.. been 2 months many miles and I'm still shifting smooth!

     photo 0806131932a.jpg




    And if your wondering how my drive train feels..... Its like "butta"


    gonna rub some on my stanchions next.

  2. #2
    Ride in heat
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    Put some cheese on it - and here ya go with a sandwich.

  3. #3
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    Re: Chain Lube secrets!

    Any one else like to comment before i go butter up my bike? What about wd40?

    Sent from my LG-MS870 using Tapatalk 2

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aba Grizzly View Post
    Put some cheese on it - and here ya go with a sandwich.
    You dont want the shifting to be cheesy. You want it crisp... maybe rub a pickle on it. Their good on sandwickes too.

  5. #5
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    I put some cooking oil in my fork. Every now and then I put in some fries at the start of long descent for a trail side snack.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by TTTURNER View Post
    I put some cooking oil in my fork. Every now and then I put in some fries at the start of long descent for a trail side snack.
    Thats why i use a totem. The 40mm stantchions can hold like two servings of freanch fries each. And just keep ketchup in your brake lines.

  7. #7
    Bos
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    Since I'm dutch, I use mayonnaise. :-)

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bos View Post
    Since I'm dutch, I use mayonnaise. :-)
    Thats what i use for chami cream

  9. #9
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    Your refrigerator needs a cleaning.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wishful Tomcat View Post
    Your refrigerator needs a cleaning.
    Your welcome to have a go at it any time your n New Mexico! Ill go check on that stain. Looks like butter covered in bread crumbs. I told the kids to use a knife when they put butter on toast.

  11. #11
    6BR
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wishful Tomcat View Post
    Your refrigerator needs a cleaning.
    ..noticed that too. Looks like an old dried out black booger sittin in there chillin next to the butter.
    A troll's day:1.Log on 2.Write sh*tty comments 3.Laugh 4.Notice dick is still small 5.Weep openly 6.Have mom make him a PB&J


  12. #12
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    im finding it odd that the people with small animal avatars are noting the food stain.. I better clean it right away before a small cat or dog wanders into my home and i got to take another stray to the pound

  13. #13
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    My drivetrain (and fridge) has never been that filthy. A lubed and CLEAN drivetrain will always provide the best performance. When using wet lubes, i will clean my drivetain about every 3 rides while doing post ride dry wipe downs and a quick drip relube. Wax lube and i will go 5-6 rides before a wash while doing dry wipe downs & relube after each ride. If i wanted, i could relube every 50-70mi while still being quiet and slick.

    Chain lubes are formulated not only for smooth running, but, to decrease wear. Keeping it slippery inside the rollers while flushing out the gunk is what they do. Since i ride SoCal, its dusty and dry. So, wax lube is what i use. This keeps a lot of the dust from sticking from the start. But, hey, as long as you're buying the chains, rings, and cassettes... run it sauteed or deep fried. I could care less.

  14. #14
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    Sure.
    Now remove all parts, soak in biodegradable mineral spirits, rinse in 90% isopropyl, then apply Rock n Roll Extreme. Rock"N"Roll Lubrication - Products - Bicycle Lube - Extreme Chain Lube
    It's bananas.
    My only affiliation with them is that I buy their lube.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetboy23 View Post
    My drivetrain (and fridge) has never been that filthy. A lubed and CLEAN drivetrain will always provide the best performance. When using wet lubes, i will clean my drivetain about every 3 rides while doing post ride dry wipe downs and a quick drip relube. Wax lube and i will go 5-6 rides before a wash while doing dry wipe downs & relube after each ride. If i wanted, i could relube every 50-70mi while still being quiet and slick.

    Chain lubes are formulated not only for smooth running, but, to decrease wear. Keeping it slippery inside the rollers while flushing out the gunk is what they do. Since i ride SoCal, its dusty and dry. So, wax lube is what i use. This keeps a lot of the dust from sticking from the start. But, hey, as long as you're buying the chains, rings, and cassettes... run it sauteed or deep fried. I could care less.
    Spoken like a true industry stooge. Butter works great i know your a fan of capitalism but, i dont spend money when i dont have to. Chain lube isnothing but hype and im not drinking the kool-aid

  16. #16
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    Re: Chain Lube secrets!

    The cranks churn smoother with salted butter IMHO. Either way, down with commercial lubes.

  17. #17
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    You know that you can probably purchase paraffin wax for cheaper than butter and it is the basis of a lot of dry chain lube function. It WILL work better than butter as well. Mix with a bit of PTFE and you can have a cheap great performing lube. Check out Friction Facts website for some of their testing and data on this subject.

    BTW, your "chain lube is nothing but hype" is a false statement. You have zero data or facts to support that statement. Your bias opinion is about as filthy as your drivetrain.

  18. #18
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    The best alternative to commercial chain lube I have found to date is the gel from a can of Spam. Or, generously rub head cheese all over your drivetrain. It works!
    I always wanted a Wookie, but I found out they weren't real.
    (Thanks for nothing, George Lucas.)

  19. #19
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    Fugilo- I realize you're just trolling and personally I think it's pretty funny, but now that a few people are starting to take you seriously I thought I should mention that I've actually seen this (and other creative cooking oils) used on bike drivetrains and like your photo proves- it's not a pretty sight.



    Quote Originally Posted by Fuglio View Post
    Butter works great i know your a fan of capitalism but, i dont spend money when i dont have to.
    You getting your butter for free?

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by vitale232 View Post
    The cranks churn smoother with salted butter IMHO. Either way, down with commercial lubes.
    Salted butter will lead to drivetrain corrosion.

  21. #21
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    Wax it!

    This is from Sheldon Brown...Its very easy. I use a coffee can on my electric stove, drop the wax in,heat it, then drop the chain in for an hour. I only do this with new chains and the wax I havebeen using is about 6 years old. The lubricating/waterproofing properties last for a really long time and doesnt attract dirt.

    "Waxing Chains
    An alternative approach to chain lubrication is to immerse the chain in hot wax. This is a variation on the oil/solvent approach. The hot wax is of a thin enough consistency that it can theoretically penetrate into the private parts of the chain, then when it cools off, you have a nice thick lubricant in place where it can do the most good. The major advantage to this approach is that, once cooled off, the wax is not sticky, and doesn't attract dirt to the outside of the chain as readily. Downsides of the wax approach include the fact that it is a great deal of trouble, and that wax is probably not as good a lubricant as oil or grease. Wax is flammable and should be heated in a double boiler or a warm oven."

  22. #22
    6BR
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    Quote Originally Posted by MiWolverine View Post
    The best alternative to commercial chain lube I have found to date is the gel from a can of Spam. Or, generously rub head cheese all over your drivetrain. It works!
    I knew you guys from that state up north never warsh!!

    Back on topic, as long as chain lube is non petroleum based I dont think you can really go wrong. Butter may work in a pinch but it wouldnt be my longterm solution to keepin my chain happy. I think if i was using foodstuffs Id go with crisco over real butter...that belongs on my toast...not my chain.
    A troll's day:1.Log on 2.Write sh*tty comments 3.Laugh 4.Notice dick is still small 5.Weep openly 6.Have mom make him a PB&J


  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metalhack View Post
    Wax it!

    This is from Sheldon Brown...Its very easy. I use a coffee can on my electric stove, drop the wax in,heat it, then drop the chain in for an hour. I only do this with new chains and the wax I havebeen using is about 6 years old. The lubricating/waterproofing properties last for a really long time and doesnt attract dirt.

    "Waxing Chains
    An alternative approach to chain lubrication is to immerse the chain in hot wax. This is a variation on the oil/solvent approach. The hot wax is of a thin enough consistency that it can theoretically penetrate into the private parts of the chain, then when it cools off, you have a nice thick lubricant in place where it can do the most good. The major advantage to this approach is that, once cooled off, the wax is not sticky, and doesn't attract dirt to the outside of the chain as readily. Downsides of the wax approach include the fact that it is a great deal of trouble, and that wax is probably not as good a lubricant as oil or grease. Wax is flammable and should be heated in a double boiler or a warm oven."
    Coffe cans stove top burners drop the whole chain in..... We have a winner


    I might use a crock pot and let it slow cook for 12 hrs

  24. #24
    6BR
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wishful Tomcat View Post
    Salted butter will lead to drivetrain corrosion.
    as well as clogged pin holes & high blood pressure for your chain...
    A troll's day:1.Log on 2.Write sh*tty comments 3.Laugh 4.Notice dick is still small 5.Weep openly 6.Have mom make him a PB&J


  25. #25
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    Forget about butter... let your bike live "high on the hog" and slap some pork fat on there... no mo chain squealin and might do the same for your brakes too

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