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Thread: Bathing my cat

  1. #1
    Meatbomb
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    Bathing my cat

    I gave my cat a bath last night. He appeared to enjoy it but the hair stuck to my tongue. Any advise on how to prevent that?

  2. #2
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    Giving your cat a tongue bath, euphemism for an evening of oral sex?

  3. #3
    rod skinner
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    Shave it.

  4. #4
    High Desert MTBer
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    Notice the use of the gender used in the OP's remarks... doesn't lead me down the oral sex route... OP, just swallow, and it will all work itself out eventually
    It's all Here. Now.

  5. #5
    mtbr member
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    Quote Originally Posted by norton55 View Post
    Shave it.
    From the videos I watch that seems to be the way to go.

  6. #6
    official eMpTyBRain
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    Swallow the hair balls and deal with it...like other cats do. Then late at night, you can start the regurgitation process. We are all familiar with that repetitive sound, right?

    ...and proud member of the anti-sock puppet desolation

  7. #7
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    RE: Bathing my cat

    More saliva helps
    Sent from my HTC6990LVW using Board Express

  8. #8
    mtbr member
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    This reminds me of an old email funny:

    CAT BATHS

    Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats lick
    themselves clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort in their
    saliva that works like new, improved Wisk-----dislodging the dirt where it
    hides and whisking it away.

    I've spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most blind
    believers, I've been able to discount all the facts to the contrary, the
    kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that
    cling to the throw rug by the fireplace.

    The time comes, however, when a man must face reality: when he must
    look squarely in the face of massive public sentiment to the contrary and
    announce: "This cat smells like a port-a-potty on a hot day in Juarez."

    When that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I have some
    advice you might consider as you place your feline friend under your arm and
    head for the bathtub:

    -----Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and
    lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength.
    Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to
    bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very
    small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend
    that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if
    you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A
    berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a
    politician can shift positions.)

    -----Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all
    the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know
    how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into
    high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a
    hockey face mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.

    -----Prepare everything in advance. There is no time to go out for a
    towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket. Draw the
    water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure.
    Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in
    the water.

    -----Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as
    if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice
    your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.
    If he does notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a
    product testing experiment for J.C. Penney.)

    -----Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to
    survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the
    tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and
    squirt him with shampoo. You have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of
    your life.

    -----Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur,
    and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for
    more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you
    must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy.
    He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing
    himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't
    expect too much.)

    -----Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume
    this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at
    this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the
    drying is simple compared to what you have just been through. That's because
    by now the cat is semipermanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop
    the drain plug with you foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally,
    however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If
    this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to
    encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the
    tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.

    In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg.
    He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will
    spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become
    psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.

    You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the
    case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and
    injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath.

    But at least now he smells a lot better.

  9. #9
    pin it
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    Quote Originally Posted by norton55 View Post
    Shave it.
    Hairless cat with a fez is the way to go

     photo f3E5gDe_zps219e46f6.jpg
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

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