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  1. #1
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    There's some strange cats in them thar hills.

    In the last month, I've seen more buffoonery than normal on the Kestrel trail. For example:

    Yesterday, I was riding up the Kestrel hill as a solo rider was coming down, carefully negotiating the water bars. When he got close enough, I noticed his face is covered in blood. He passed too quickly for me to ask if he needed help, so I continued my climb. A little while later, I heard someone approach my back tire, so I moved over to allow him to pass. The rider went around, really hammering hard and staying out of his saddle. I thought, "man, that guy is really going after it". The rider stays in view and when he gets to the fork in the trail, he stops and turns around. When I look up, it's the dude with ****ed up face. This time I have more time to look at him and notice he has on spandex riding shorts, a tight top, elbow pads, and is riding a rigid bike. He starts down but I'm too befuddled to say anything. I just wonder: He obviously had an appointment with a face plant but thinks it's a good time to do some interval training!? He's wearing spandex and body armor and riding and unsuspended bike!? He's hammering like he's in the Tour with Lance!?

    A while back, a guy was running down the trail just above the aforementioned hill while holding on to his handlebars and rolling his bike by his side. This guy wasn't just jogging but going at a pretty good clip, in bike shoes no less, when his ankles get tangled up in the cranks. He eats **** so big the video would be worthy of any of the Kranked series. The guy tumbles to a dusty stop, all intertwined with his bike. We stopped to offer help, but the guy jumps up and continues running. I looked at my buddy, shook my head and told him about the next guy.

    This guy passed my wife and I on the Kestrel hill and was wearing bright, orange Crocs and, again, hammering away like he's climbing the Alps in Le Tour. Not that strange, I know, but definitely part of the clown act.

    If I've seen this much buffoonery in just the past month, there has to be some much better war stories from some of longtime riders.

  2. #2
    Back of the pack fat guy
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bong_Crosby
    In the last month, I've seen more buffoonery than normal on the Kestrel trail. For example:

    Yesterday, I was riding up the Kestrel hill as a solo rider was coming down, carefully negotiating the water bars. When he got close enough, I noticed his face is covered in blood. He passed too quickly for me to ask if he needed help, so I continued my climb. A little while later, I heard someone approach my back tire, so I moved over to allow him to pass. The rider went around, really hammering hard and staying out of his saddle. I thought, "man, that guy is really going after it". The rider stays in view and when he gets to the fork in the trail, he stops and turns around. When I look up, it's the dude with ****ed up face. This time I have more time to look at him and notice he has on spandex riding shorts, a tight top, elbow pads, and is riding a rigid bike. He starts down but I'm too befuddled to say anything. I just wonder: He obviously had an appointment with a face plant but thinks it's a good time to do some interval training!? He's wearing spandex and body armor and riding and unsuspended bike!? He's hammering like he's in the Tour with Lance!?
    That's Robocop! I think I posted something a couple months ago about this guy. He's been haunting my rides and my dreams for several years. He's one of those odd foothills fixtures like oversized water bars, lame flat sidehill trails, racer @sshats in spandex on CX bikes, and slippery coyote poo. He passed me on the freeway going Mach 9 a couple months ago and then kept glancing back, I suppose to make sure I wasn't trying to cornhole him or something.

    I think he wears the armor to prevent the usual cornholing.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bong_Crosby
    In the last month, I've seen more buffoonery than normal on the Kestrel trail. For example:

    Yesterday, I was riding up the Kestrel hill as a solo rider was coming down, carefully negotiating the water bars. When he got close enough, I noticed his face is covered in blood. He passed too quickly for me to ask if he needed help, so I continued my climb. A little while later, I heard someone approach my back tire, so I moved over to allow him to pass. The rider went around, really hammering hard and staying out of his saddle. I thought, "man, that guy is really going after it". The rider stays in view and when he gets to the fork in the trail, he stops and turns around. When I look up, it's the dude with ****ed up face. This time I have more time to look at him and notice he has on spandex riding shorts, a tight top, elbow pads, and is riding a rigid bike. He starts down but I'm too befuddled to say anything. I just wonder: He obviously had an appointment with a face plant but thinks it's a good time to do some interval training!? He's wearing spandex and body armor and riding and unsuspended bike!? He's hammering like he's in the Tour with Lance!?

    A while back, a guy was running down the trail just above the aforementioned hill while holding on to his handlebars and rolling his bike by his side. This guy wasn't just jogging but going at a pretty good clip, in bike shoes no less, when his ankles get tangled up in the cranks. He eats **** so big the video would be worthy of any of the Kranked series. The guy tumbles to a dusty stop, all intertwined with his bike. We stopped to offer help, but the guy jumps up and continues running. I looked at my buddy, shook my head and told him about the next guy.

    This guy passed my wife and I on the Kestrel hill and was wearing bright, orange Crocs and, again, hammering away like he's climbing the Alps in Le Tour. Not that strange, I know, but definitely part of the clown act.

    If I've seen this much buffoonery in just the past month, there has to be some much better war stories from some of longtime riders.
    Were you packin? Anyone wearing "bright orange crocs" should be shot on sight..unless they are an old lady or they are gardening....Crocs will be the downfall of society, "Idiocracy" proves it

    Wow, none of my strange sightings compare to your encounters. With the exception of the strange guy that lives on 6th st. and rides around on his bike with the giant, paper machet dummies on the back of his banana seat, the best thing I ever saw was an Asian dude riding his bike along Broadway near Warm Springs. Here's the kicker, he had his helmet on backwards and the strap/clip was in his mouth like a bridal on a horse. My buddy and I flipped a #$%^& and drove past him several time to make sure we were seeing this right....yup. We had a camera and took a poor quality pic of the spectacle. I didnt even know what to say....We still bring it up

  4. #4
    mtnjam
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bong_Crosby

    ...and riding and unsuspended bike!? He's hammering like he's in the Tour with Lance!?
    are you sure it wasn't Genius'er? Oh wait he rides a BMX
    Just ride down there and jump off something for crying out loud...

  5. #5
    Look out!
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    Last night while riding our cruisers through the north end, my wife and I saw an over weight, older long haired gentleman wearing nothing but a sarong, riding his bike.
    Ride the bike.

  6. #6
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    It is the north end.
    Idaho

  7. #7
    aaarrrggghh!
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    Rollerblades

    I was coming down Hulls once and there was a dude in front of me hauling down the trail in some oversize wheeled roller blades. He was going pretty fast considering. That was both cool and weird at the same time.

  8. #8
    Sheepherder/Cat Herder Moderator
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    Hmmmm

    Were you strangely attracted and repulsed all at the same time???

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivan the Terrible
    I was coming down Hulls once and there was a dude in front of me hauling down the trail in some oversize wheeled roller blades. He was going pretty fast considering. That was both cool and weird at the same time.
    ...building wherever they'll let me...

  9. #9
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    A couple of years ago I slowed to ask if a guy standing off to the side of Hull's Gulch needed help. As I got closer something was different. When close enough to figure it out he was riding an old, fully rigid bike while in a TLSO (a hardened back brace from his waist to his chest) along with a rigid cervical collar as well. If anything, his exercise should have been walking down to his mailbox and back, not mountain biking.
    BoiseBoy

  10. #10
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    As long as people are out there riding and enjoying the trails responsibly, it's all good... Weird would be a family of four hiking on Corrals practicing their rights to pack heat...

  11. #11
    TRAIL KUBUKI CORNDOGGER
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    Quote Originally Posted by flipnidaho
    Weird would be a family of four hiking on Corrals practicing their rights to pack heat...
    I don't have a problem with that. Hell, it's the American goddamn way. How the hell do you expect our citzenry to to protect itself from the tyranny of excessive government? How the hell do you expect militias to grow and prosper in this age of econmic uncertainty? How are we ever going to be prepared for HATCHET DAY, bishes? Sh!t's gonna go down, go down big, and it ain't gonna be pretty. Armageddon time, boyz. We're living in a generation of wimps, a bunch of boys raised by girls who all they want to do is protect us from the realities of the world. Soft and padded. It's no wonder puffy bikes with lots of suspension are so popular. You can blame your feckin mother. So no, I don't have a problem with packin heat in the footsies. Some jogger messes with me and I'll pop a cap in his adz. Some punk doesn't yield the trail when I'm riding up will get lit up. People see me, they'll be sh!t scared.

    It's the American way.

    It's the Second Amendment baby.
    Nobody cares what kind of bike you ride.

  12. #12
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    Ivan, where you there that day when we were on 8th street and they guy was trying out one of those mountain boards (like a skate board with bindings and oversized offroad wheels)? He was obviously new to it and had buddies in an old small truck shuttling and probably trying with him. He was wrecking his brains out, went into the ditch once when he obviously couldn't control his speed or direction well. Very amusing and painful looking.

    I also saw a guy doing street luge on Bogus Basin road. He was hitch hiking up and doing laps down. Looked way fun but I don't trust the drivers.

    Love robocop guy, but he has front suspension, not fully rigid and wears a full face so no way it would be bloodied from a wreck, think the OP saw a different person. He rides a specialized and probably has the sweatiest, stinkiest body armor/helmet ever.

  13. #13
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    packing heat reminds me of a time riding in Utardia with my Utardian friends. We were doing a huge shuttle out of Bountiful called Baer Canyon. 5,000 foot decent in something like 4 and a half miles that took us around 2 hours. Really steep, brutal technical, hard descending where big breaks and long travel is a must if you wanted to actually ride your bike down. I would hesitate to take most people on this trail as quite advanced skillsets would be required.
    One of my buddies was struggling pretty badly and had endo'd more than a couple times by the halfway point, and was absolutely bruised, battered, and beat by the bottom. It opened up in to the wide open, populated and heavily traveled trails at the end of the ride.
    Chris Canfield in front, me second, and 3 following and with the last being he who struggled. I think he was a bit taxed and is pretty hot headed in the best of times. We came up on a guy hiking by himself going right down the middle of the trail and making no concession to us behind him. Canfield blew around him and I came up trying to be polite and waiting for a moment to pass. He said something like, "go ahead, run me over you ****", very agitated. I was taken aback, surprised and said that I had no intention of it and that like him, I was out to enjoy the trails. I then noticed a handgun in his belt at the small of his back and got the impression he was trying to start something. Very angry fellow. I passed him without further incident, but struggles and he had some heated words from what I was told when we all stopped a short distance down the trail to collect at an intersection.
    We got into talking about the ride and the guy and well, took too long as he caught back up with us and went down the trail right in front of us, again purposely being an obstacle. We were able to navigate around again and Struggles again mouthed off as he passed at this steep section. I am questioning the wisdom of picking a fight with somebody more heavily armed and seemingly unbalanced mentally when Struggles immediately endo's again, right in front of the guy. I imagine that diffused the situation as I think militiaman got a healthy dose of satisfaction seeing that.
    Turns out Struggly never noticed the hand gun and looked properly disturbed by the potential for mishap from his interactions.
    My experience with guns is they are a tool and nothing more. But people who tend to carry them wherever they go are a bit out there.

  14. #14
    TRAIL KUBUKI CORNDOGGER
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    Do you think Robocop is packing heat?














    I think Robocop is packing heat.















    You ain't sh!t unless you got a nickname.















    Robocop. Heh.















    I want to be known in the footsies as "Skank".; Or "Kitten"

    Fuggin cool.
    Nobody cares what kind of bike you ride.

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