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  1. #1
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    So you're in the woods...

    And yeah, you have to poop. Lol, that's my biggest fear. Hasn't happened yet but I'm prepared. What do you guys do when you're 25 miles away from a bathroom?

    Sent from my 831C using Tapatalk

  2. #2
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    Burn paper?

    Sent from my 831C using Tapatalk

  3. #3
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    Find an area away from the trail and surface water, dig a 6" hole, burn paper in hole (unless high fire danger), bury, ride. If you are in the desert correct protocol is to spread on surface for UV to take care of. No big deal and certainly nothing to worry over.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by ou2mame View Post
    Burn paper?

    Sent from my 831C using Tapatalk
    Yes, it will decompose quicker that way. But only if you know what you are doing so you don't start a fire. If in doubt, just bury the paper without burning!

  5. #5
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    Smokey the bear taught me that. i hope it never comes to this haha

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  6. #6
    I didn't do it
    Reputation: Mookie's Avatar
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    I've made a living out of crapping in the woods - both camping and riding. No big deal.
    Let's eat Ted
    Let's eat, Ted
    Remember, commas save lives

  7. #7
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    This works better than burning paper.

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  8. #8
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    I'd much rather have a crap attack in the woods where there is nobody around than having an attack riding in an urban area. If you've never crapped in the woods before, oh boy are you missing out!

  9. #9
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    Just had this happen on a ride in Moab. If you're riding in the desert o highly recommend bringing toilet paper. Saige bush hurts a little and is the softest thing you'll find. And like dirttrackin said you're missing out, it's a whole new level of comfort.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by BumpityBump View Post
    If you are in the desert correct protocol is to spread on surface for UV to take care of.
    You can always find soil in the desert, bury that $hit- and burn the paper if possible!

  11. #11
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    I keep a travel pack of baby wipes and a plastic grocery bag in my Osprey just for this reason. Pack it in, pack it out. (not the sh*t though, I bury that)

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by J.B. Weld View Post
    You can always find soil in the desert, bury that $hit- and burn the paper if possible!
    The best protocol is actually to wag bag it. However, if you are not packing it out, it will degrade much faster above ground in the arid desert than in soil thanks to heat an UV. Ideally you want to spread it very thin on a rock. Obviously you want to do this well away from high use areas. If it's a regularly used area and ample soil, I still bury, but very shallow so it is still exposed to heat from the sun.

  13. #13
    Anytime. Anywhere.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clbryant1981 View Post
    This works better than burning paper.

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    Best Solution Ever!!!
    I got some bad ideas in my head.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mookie View Post
    I've made a living out of crapping in the woods - both camping and riding. No big deal.
    really?...you actually "made a living..."please enlighten us!
    2014 Nail Trail 29...

  15. #15
    I didn't do it
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    Quote Originally Posted by time229er View Post
    really?...you actually "made a living..."please enlighten us!
    I've got a reality show in the works where I go out into the woods with my hillbilly friends. Hijinks and hilarity ensues. We end up crapping in the woods a lot due to the overconsumption of alcohol and fatty meat. Stay tuned...
    Let's eat Ted
    Let's eat, Ted
    Remember, commas save lives

  16. #16
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    Is it easier to pack a bunny to the trail or TP?

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by gandrimp View Post
    Is it easier to pack a bunny to the trail or TP?
    A bunny. I keep it in my magic helmet.

  18. #18
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    Reminds me of a time I was riding with a large group and had to take a dump. I dropped back to (what I thought was) the end of the group and took a squat...and the last 2 young women in the group came riding up. Hellllooo Ladies

  19. #19
    I didn't do it
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ricko View Post
    Reminds me of a time I was riding with a large group and had to take a dump. I dropped back to (what I thought was) the end of the group and took a squat...and the last 2 young women in the group came riding up. Hellllooo Ladies
    Awkward.
    Let's eat Ted
    Let's eat, Ted
    Remember, commas save lives

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mookie View Post
    I've got a reality show in the works where I go out into the woods with my hillbilly friends. Hijinks and hilarity ensues. We end up crapping in the woods a lot due to the overconsumption of alcohol and fatty meat. Stay tuned...
    my gut told me not to ask, but...
    2014 Nail Trail 29...

  21. #21
    Hi There!
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    Quote Originally Posted by ou2mame View Post
    And yeah, you have to poop. Lol, that's my biggest fear. Hasn't happened yet but I'm prepared. What do you guys do when you're 25 miles away from a bathroom?

    Sent from my 831C using Tapatalk
    I have to assume that you weren't really serious with this question because there is only one answer: pop a squat and ride on brother. HOWEVER:

    the fact that you said you were prepared has me wondering....
    NTFTC

  22. #22
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    Dingleberry award..

    The dingleberry award goes to >>>> "so your in the woods and you have to poo"

    Seriously!
    Stop poop, wipe, bury, ride.
    ---------- __o
    --------- _`\<,_
    BRAAP(>)/ (*)
    ************^^^^¯\_(ツ)_/¯
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqpcBpSsj1A

  23. #23
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    If it feels like it'll be a loose one, just let it go. Natural chamois cream.

  24. #24
    I didn't do it
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    Quote Originally Posted by time229er View Post
    my gut told me not to ask, but...
    Inquiring minds want to know.
    Let's eat Ted
    Let's eat, Ted
    Remember, commas save lives

  25. #25
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    Just be careful with the leaves ^^
    to err is human... to face plant is frickin hilarious!!

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clbryant1981 View Post
    This works better than burning paper.

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    It can't be easy to catch that rabbit!

  27. #27
    9 lives
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    Quote Originally Posted by DIRTJUNKIE View Post

    Seriously!
    Stop poop, wipe, bury, ride.
    Spoken like a pro!

    I just have one thing to add: look. Poison ivy is nasty
    F*ck Cancer

    Eat your veggies

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zomby Woof (MCM700) View Post
    It can't be easy to catch that rabbit!
    They are quick and elusive, but it helps increase riding speed when you're trying to catch one.

  29. #29
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    I always try to pick a spot with a view

  30. #30
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    maybe you need to do some research.

    http://amzn.to/1fKR7yj

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by NateHawk View Post
    maybe you need to do some research.

    http://amzn.to/1fKR7yj
    Check the items "Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought" of this one.

  32. #32
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    This is something I don't really understand. We have to bury our poo to protect the environment yet said environment is full of deer, bears, birds and goodness knows what else that crap in it all the time! How come they don't need to bury theirs??

  33. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Pig View Post
    This is something I don't really understand. We have to bury our poo to protect the environment yet said environment is full of deer, bears, birds and goodness knows what else that crap in it all the time! How come they don't need to bury theirs??
    It's because they don't eat at Wendy's or Burger King.
    I don't use Strava. Don't need an application to tell me I am slow because I already know.

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lawson Raider View Post
    It's because they don't eat at Wendy's or Burger King.
    How do you know? I thought bears pulled that stuff out of bins ll the time and I know birds will eat whatever they find.

    I'm sorry, but it's just nonsense. People have been crapping in the woods for thousands of years and as far as I can tell the trees have survived just fine.

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Pig View Post
    How do you know? I thought bears pulled that stuff out of bins ll the time and I know birds will eat whatever they find.

    I'm sorry, but it's just nonsense. People have been crapping in the woods for thousands of years and as far as I can tell the trees have survived just fine.
    You've apparently never hiked a trail popular with hikers who, like you, refuse to bury their waste. The smell is unpleasant to say the least, and defecating too near a water source will contaminate said water source with bacterial runoff. This is a problem of numbers, not just one dude taking a dump at a comfy vee tree.

    Also note that many animals do bury their feces (many felines). Some animals display it prominently to mark their territory. Raccoons, for example, which happen to transmit a particular type of roundworm in their feces that burrows into your eyes and can eventually kill you if left untreated. Yay!

    Also note that disposal methods depend on the environment. Burying it in the desert does nothing but petrify it. Smearing it on a rock is actually a better choice. The busiest places will REQUIRE you to pack it out. Talk about pleasant. Digging a hole a good distance from water is hardly going to ruin anyone's day.

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by NateHawk View Post
    Many animals do bury their feces
    And a lot more don't? Ok, if you're on a busy trail and can't walk off it very far then fair enough, but where I live there are not that many people in the very big woods for this to be any kind of problem. If you walked a reasonable distance off the trail it would be pretty unlikely that someone else was going to walk onto the very same spot any time soon.

    And rub your poo in their eyes.

  37. #37
    Hell Track
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    be mindful of where your shorts are when you get into your squat.

  38. #38
    Gor'n Ridin'!
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    I sprayed some chunky chilli looking stuff down the side of a big slanted rock in a dry creek bed earlier this year while in the middle of nowhere on a ride. I can supply the GPS coordinates if you'd like take a tour of my fine art work.

  39. #39
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    I never knew the politics behind this.. I just never want to do it lol

    Sent from my 831C using Tapatalk

  40. #40
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    Shining
    That's just wrong man, wrong. SMH
    The bike doesn't make you go fast.
    You make the bike go fast.

  41. #41
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    I will take my massive dumps wherever I please.
    So you're in the woods...-f765aa7cf727808b2177092e90d5d3fdc20e4f511f8b314a0cbcfaa177216cd7.jpg
    '14 Marin Attack Trail C-XT9
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  42. #42
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    Just remember: Leaves in threes, wipe with these!

  43. #43
    Hell Track
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    ^^^ oh that is evil

  44. #44
    Hi There!
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    Quote Originally Posted by crewjones View Post
    be mindful of where your shorts are when you get into your squat.
    Put your back up against a tree and get into a sitting position.
    NTFTC

  45. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by crewjones View Post
    be mindful of where your shorts are when you get into your squat.
    At the trail centre yesterday I started off down a steep decent and as I slid back to get off the back of the saddle my shorts caught on the nose and I was stuck! ;0) Didn't come off but stopped as soon as I could and pulled my shorts up.

  46. #46
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    Taking a poop in the woods is much better than crapping yourself during a ride. Find a nice secluded spot, do your thing, clean yourself up with some leaves and finish your ride in comfort. I've had to do it a few times and it sure makes the rest of the ride better.
    2016 Santa Cruz Hightower 29er
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  47. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by VTSession View Post
    Taking a poop in the woods is much better than crapping yourself during a ride.
    Wow, so much great advice on here! ;0) Man, I wish I'd thought of that before...

  48. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by moefosho View Post
    I will take my massive dumps wherever I please.
    Click image for larger version. 

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    Is that Ronald Reagan? Holy crap lol! He would never use that commie RPG though.

  49. #49
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    Re: So you're in the woods...

    Quote Originally Posted by ou2mame View Post
    And yeah, you have to poop. Lol, that's my biggest fear. Hasn't happened yet but I'm prepared. What do you guys do when you're 25 miles away from a bathroom?

    Sent from my 831C using Tapatalk
    Go poop, and wipe with whatever is handy and not poison or thorns. Fir boughs, a handkerchief, leaves, in one case a sock...you gotta do what you gotta do, man...

  50. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by ou2mame View Post
    I never knew the politics behind this.. I just never want to do it lol

    Sent from my 831C using Tapatalk
    You've really NEVER had to take a woodsdump? Hard for me to imagine.
    No big deal.
    Forget the politics. Here in the South East, dig a little cathole, drop your paper into the hole along with your, uh, "deposit". Cover it up and move on with life. It's will be gone in short order.

    Two important things:
    1. Don't use leaves, period.
    2. Always carry some tp, paper towels, etc. Don't get caught having to use one of your socks.
    3. Baby wipes are Da Bomb! Use "flushable" wipes which are biodegradeable.
    4. If you feel you MUST pack it out, or need to satisfy your green weenie riding partners who fear causing an environmental holocaust with a dump, always pack a sandwich baggie to seal up the paper. (My poop ain't coming out. Some greenie wants it out, he can pick it up)

    Okay, so that's 4 important things.

    Oh, and as suggested, move the heck away from the trails or any water source. NOBODY wants to see where you did your business, and our water has enough nasties in it already.

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