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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by shamethellama View Post
    **** ****ing thanksgiving. **** it to hell. **** it, **** it, and **** you. I get to go see people I've only ever seen at other thanksgivings (my stepmom's family) and associate with them. Or not. I'd rather not. I literally don't know a single person's name in the entire house. Every year, they tell me their names, and every year, I forget. There's two tables. One for the "adults" and one for the "children" younger than about 30. I don't know about the adult's table, but I can tell you that there are a total of approximately 12 words said throughout the entire meal at the children's table. It's so ****ing awkward, dammit. Especially for my brother and I since we don't know any of these people and what the **** they're talking about when they do talk. I can't even pretend to watch the game and be interested because I know jack **** about football. I wish I could just get inebriated and **** it.

    Yes I'm ****ing grumpy. **** you.
    My advice is to weasel your way into sitting at the adult table and then talk politics. That or fart a couple times.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2wheelsnotfour View Post
    My advice is to weasel your way into sitting at the adult table and then talk politics. That or fart a couple times.
    HAHAHA. I lol'd.
    Instead of rims, put sundials on your wheels and run for the hills...

    P.O.S. Living Slightly Larger

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2wheelsnotfour View Post
    My advice is to weasel your way into sitting at the adult table and then talk politics. That or fart a couple times.
    Someecards has you covered.


  4. #54
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    Call the family, tell them you have the flu and dont want to infect everyone. We will all meet at the trailhead at 10am Christmas morning. Wheels down at 10:15, don't be late!

  5. #55
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    I hate the holidays. Its an hour drive to my ex in laws house where my ex mother in law is a freeking nut case, ex brother in law just got out of prison for the 6th time, my ex wife who gained 200 lbs will be there of course. And there is Turkey! Who really likes Turkey? It's like eating cardboard soaked in bath water.

    The only good part is seeing my kids and 3 year old grandson. But then I leave and wont be seeing them for awhile, then the depression sets in. Some call it the holiday blues, I call it the dealing with FAT *****Y women trying to be annoyingly nice while reading the newspaper adds talking about shopping on black Friday while I was wishing I could log onto Jenson USA and order some new red grips and I guess I better order an Avid brake bleeding system while I'm there and what did that stem weigh?

  6. #56
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    No. No dread here.

    I live in Sweden. None of my family lives here. I can spend the holidays with the people I want to spend the holidays with. Thanksgiving for me will be very multinational and non-traditional.

    Now on the food side, I dread. Hours of base miles on the trainer are in my future.

  7. #57
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    Here's what we have planned, tonight...

    a-redneck-thanksgiving.jpg

    Anyone want to come over and join us?

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by marpilli View Post
    Here's what we have planned, tonight...

    a-redneck-thanksgiving.jpg

    Anyone want to come over and join us?
    I'll come over, I need to bring my dog though (he loves fried chicken and cigarettes)
    Ahhhh...Ahhhh....it's the hammy, it's the hammy!!

  9. #59
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    I never buy gifts based on obligation. Good idea? Maybe not, but at least I'm genuine. Besides, I'm selfish and I'd much rather spend the money on myself.

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by crazy03 View Post
    I'll come over, I need to bring my dog though (he loves fried chicken and cigarettes)
    Lol, we'll save a place for you and the dog...

  11. #61
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    Anyone else a bit sick of the black Friday commercials?
    My Bike: '15 Trek FX 7.2
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  12. #62
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    The Rebecca black one???
    Raised in a Chicken-Coop by Chickens

  13. #63
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    Crazy03, I feel your pain. Both my wife's and my families were completely nuts for us growing up. We make a conscious effort to avoid our families which of course makes us feel very guilty. Growing up was really bad for both of us so we've tried extra hard to right the universe by being loving to each other and our kids. Luckily they've had nice had childhoods and turned out OK.

    Drew
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  14. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mikecito View Post
    I work in retail, so to me the holidaze are something to survive.Very little time off and crazy hours. It's difficult to enjoy Thanksgiving or Christmas when you know the insanity you have to face the next day. That's why 4th of July is by far my favorite holiday. Food, Fun, Family, Friends and Fireworks. No presents, just warm weather and a good time.

    Now I'm depressed
    I feel for ya!

    My wife worked at Staples for 3 years. Retail is a no-fun-at-all job in the holiday season.

    I work for Little Pharma (a contract laboratory), and we get to work overtime between October and the end of December to help our customers finish up their R&D projects by the end of the fiscal year. So I'm dealing with all their screw-ups, plus our own and going nuts in the process. But I'm thankful to have a job.

    The major family craziness on my side of the family traces to my sister. She is not complete unless feuding with someone over some trivial nonsense, and it's my decade to be her enemy. At this point in the process, nothing is required from me to keep the hostility going, praise be.

    The local weather is allowing me to ride trails, not a given in the Midwest this time of year. My wife is happy because we're planning a trip to Peru over Christmas.

    Happy Holidays!

    Walt

  15. #65
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    Well, I survived the first holiday of the holiday season relatively unscathed with only one mishap. So, the turkey is done and ready to come out of the oven and my mom asks if I can take it out because it's too heavy for her so I do, pretty easy right? Well, she put the turkey in an aluminum pan to bake in the oven and filled it with the gravy and some kind of oil and spice mix to soak in while it cooked, so I reach in the oven and grab the pan by the little wire handles on each side and as I pick it up the entire pan buckles in the middle and the gravy and oil mix poured all over the oven including the heating elements on the bottom. Next, I sit the pan back in the oven to rethink my plan of attack, and wouldn't you know it, the godd*mn oil caught fire, so I reach in real quick grab the pan, yank it out of the oven fast as to not get burned effectively getting the remaining gravy and oil mix all over the kitchen. And for my efforts I was promptly yelled at "Look what you fu*cking did, whats wrong with you? The paper towels are over there".

    Next time I'll let the fu*cking place burn down.
    Ahhhh...Ahhhh....it's the hammy, it's the hammy!!

  16. #66
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    How's that saying go?

    "No kind act goes unpunished."

    The bird survived, you survived I'd call that a win. Don't sweat the small stuff.

  17. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarolinaLL6 View Post
    How's that saying go?

    "No kind act goes unpunished."

    The bird survived, you survived I'd call that a win. Don't sweat the small stuff.
    "No good deed goes unpunished"

    I think for next year's festivities I'm gonna have a t-shirt made the reads "don't ask me for sh*t motherfu*ker"
    Ahhhh...Ahhhh....it's the hammy, it's the hammy!!

  18. #68
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    That's it. - heh not awake yet.

    They have the Epic Beard Man shirt. It may suffice.


  19. #69
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    I love this thread! I thought I was the only curmudgeon who keeps thinking "Merry ****ing Xmas". Other than downtime from work, I hate ****ing xmas. And who decided it should be in the middle of winter? I spent the first 30 years in the northeast US. Not going back to THOSE ****hole winters.

    Oh... Merry ****ing Xmas to those of you who like holidays.

    PS. SANTA ISN'T REAL!

  20. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarolinaLL6 View Post
    That's it. - heh not awake yet.

    They have the Epic Beard Man shirt. It may suffice.

    Most of em already know that about me
    Ahhhh...Ahhhh....it's the hammy, it's the hammy!!

  21. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by LiveFreeThenDie View Post
    PS. SANTA ISN'T REAL!
    Yes he is! It's that plastic in my wallet that's about to order a wheelset for me and the grown up kids of mine get a gift card from Walmart!

  22. #72
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    Hey eveyone, they are playing your song!

    The Grinch Song - YouTube


  23. #73
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    Last year's Christmas get together turned into a royal clusterf*k at my dad's house. Since then I've not spoken to my step brother or his wife and don't really plan to ever again if I can help it.

    My wife and I have chosen to ditch the entire family thing all together this year. I've not gone snow skiing since 1994, but by dammit that's what we'll be doing on Christmas day this year. Just me, her, the slopes, and some peace and quiet.

  24. #74
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    off from work for a month so no pressure here. write a few cards, pick up some wine, online shopping while sending the gift without wrapping. it's a beautiful thing.

  25. #75
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    The holidays pretty well piss me off. I don't like most of my family.....mine or my wife's.
    I don't like getting together with any of them, I don't like the big ass meals etc. etc.
    I don't like buying people **** for Christmas....I tell all our friends/family don't bother buying us anything because you aren't getting anything from us......if you choose to buy us something anyway.....tough **** we still aren't getting you something.

    I would rather everybody else piss off and let me spend the time with my wife and kids alone. We buy the kids gifts and celebrate for their sake....and I guess for my wife because she "believes".
    For the most part I refuse to have anything to do with any kind of religion and don't believe that there is any kind of "god" or higher power of any kind. I will play along with the christmas stuff until my kids are old enough to decide for themselves if they want to continue with it.

    Does that make me sound like an *******? Probably. Do I care? Not a damn bit.

  26. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haligan78 View Post
    For the most part I refuse to have anything to do with any kind of religion and don't believe that there is any kind of "god" or higher power of any kind. I will play along with the christmas stuff until my kids are old enough to decide for themselves if they want to continue with it.
    Please, In the spirit of hating the holiday season, let's not turn this into a religion debate. Let's try to keep this one out of the bin.

    Thank You,
    The Management
    Ahhhh...Ahhhh....it's the hammy, it's the hammy!!

  27. #77
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    I am now lucky to live 1,000 miles from most of my family. I have no motivation to spend the time and money to travel back to hear the same old crap from family members I can't stand. My grandmother has been a total b*tch to my mother her entire life to the point where it f*cked up my mother mentally. When I was old enough to realize that was the reason my mother was so wacked out at me growing up, I was livid. To this day my mother takes the same sh*t from her mother and goes back for more. My aunt, uncle, and cousins constantly complain that they aren't receiving enough from the government at the same time they are buying expensive cars and trying to impress you. My one cousin took after my uncle and learned to spend 6 months of each year living on unemployment checks and playing video games..

    Despite how jacked up that side of my family is, out of a desire to re-enact the stereotypical but unattainable Norman Rockwell holiday season my mother insists on spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with those idiots rather then with our other family members who are fun and accept people for who they are. As a result, I stay 1,000 miles away for the holidays letting my parents believe I am on-call during the holidays. Its good to hear I am not alone in my family dysfunction and lack of enjoyment of the holiday season.

  28. #78
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    Nope. I'm going snowboarding. A lot.

  29. #79
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    Bump for the merriment.
    Last edited by AZ; 11-25-2012 at 07:33 PM.

  30. #80
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    I spent the day before T-day, T-day and the day after in my room by myself not answering my phone this year. It was awesome. I ignored everyone and everything. I plan on a similar Christmas. That's going to be bad ass.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tone's View Post
    Id scrap the passion forum all together, its a breeding ground for unicorn milkers, rainbow chasers and candy cotton farters.

  31. #81
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    Holiday season can be great or it can suck it's all in how you look at it. I say don't be a Scrooge and make the best of it. By the way I know this thread started before the Off Cambor Off Topic forum was introduced but shouldn't it be moved over there. It's obviously going to get more traction now that it has been bumped and we are in the holiday season. Just saying!

  32. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by AZ.MTNS View Post
    Bump for the merriment.
    Thanks for the bump.
    And here's to the merriment.
    Ahhhh...Ahhhh....it's the hammy, it's the hammy!!

  33. #83
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    Being of the "ethnic" type - family is tight. Super tight. I love my family A LOT.

    I'm self employed - in my life there's no such thing as paid time off, holidays, sick days, vacation time, employer based retirement plan, highly subsidized benefits. I work days, nights and weekends... I'm always "on" - and I go weeks without getting paid. Thankfully, I live 3 miles away from the trails, and get to do "lunch rides" on a very tight time constraint.

    That being said, Thanksgiving and Christmas are the times I get to spend time with my family since I'm constantly on the go. My nephews are getting bigger, and they're only going to be this age once. I talk bikes with my brother, and we ride together in Santa Cruz, Ca. (where my family lives) - although we ride those trails all the time, anyway. He's been riding for over 25 years - and fast as all hell.

    My mom and dad are getting old (even though us brown people don't crack) so they are very "youthful" considering their age. Dad and I will bust out the ukuleles... but usually drowned out by my screaming nephews and getting tagged by nerf guns. My mom and Dad are not going to be around forever.

    My mom attends a "cookie" party every year, where a dozen or so women go at it with their best cookie recipe. Of course, IMO, my mom's always tastes best - but I still stuff my fat face with the other's. I'm not prejudice when it comes to awesome cookies.

    My wife walks down to the beach (my parents' house in Santa Cruz is just two houses up from the beach) and takes Instagram pictures. Or, she may even bust out the "good camera". She always takes killer pictures.

    My extended family puts on old disco and dance in the dining room while drinking wine. There's Filipino food everywhere - and nobody can come close to my grandma's recipe. My mom always fails at this Filipino desert she attempts every year. She'll get it eventually.

    Then I get to spend time with my in-laws. They live in a very, very rural area in San Jose... "at the end of the city" where rich people haven't desecrated it with their monster houses. Their house is from the 1920's, and is heated with a wood burning stove.

    We dread the buying if gifts (please don't lecture me on gifts - I truly like buying gifts for my family) because it gets expensive for a large family. For work, my headquarters is trying to close the year, so this is a ridiculous time of year in closing my sales and trying to have a successful year-end. I try to send chocolates over to my headquarters, because I know they are crunching in the fourth quarter, and it's nice to know that they are being thought of during crunch time.

    2012 has been the sh*ttiest year to date for me in the last ten years. I have had so many disappointments, failures, losses, deaths and emotional pain this year. I watched my 34 yr. old brother-in-law die. I had to put my dog down. It was the worst year for work for me, as well, in my 10 year, fairly successful career. I dipped way deep into my savings, which was frightening.

    This is the time of year where I let the previous year go. I get to spend it with an awesome family, and hit the reset button come 1/1. I have had a lot of friends come and go... but my family has ALWAYS been constant.

    Plus, I live in the Bay Area California... and we ride year round.

  34. #84
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    Christmas is badd ass now that I have kids. My boys are 11months and 5 years old. The 5 year old is just getting into the cool stuff. Wife wants to buy choo choos and matchbox cars. Screw that. We are talking remote control attack helicopters, race cars, go carts, power tools. Spending a daddy day with the kid? Hell yeah when you are heading to the lake with a model power boat and a paint ball gun.

    Spending time with the in laws got you down? Smoke a bowl, have a drink and drive them crazy by not giving a sh!t.
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  35. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigHit-Maniac View Post
    The only perk I see in it, is a few days off of work.

    My family lives all over the country, and I can't fathom the cost of traveling to all or some of their locations for the different days. So.... yeah, screw that.

    I'll probably just ride my bike instead. LOL.

    I'll just cook myself up a few rack of slow-cooked ribs in Brown Sugar & BBQ sauce, and enjoy it all to myself.

    Where do you live??? I'm comin' over with beer!!!!

  36. #86
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    Ahh, you don't know how much better this thread makes me feel. Last time I went home for Christmas, in 2006 I think, I had a full-blown panic attack from the noise of screaming kids (9 of them that year under the age of 7), the constant criticisms from my mother, etc. etc. I vowed never again....

    so now I do a Christmas phone call. I make sure I'm plenty drunk beforehand, and have a new beer ready to go, pass the phone around, talk about the weather and who got what, and bam, all is done. Then I get the bike or skis ready depending on what the weather is doing, and go have some fun. Living 3,000 miles away has its perks for sure!

  37. #87
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    I tolerate it for the kids' sake. I've gone downhill over the years as the grumpy factor has ridden.
    Current level is "meh"

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  38. #88
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    I do a lot of urban night riding around the early evening but during the holidays, traffic is twice as worse from 5PM to 8PM compared to the rest of the year. It gets worse later at night 10PM onwards when drunk drivers are all over the roads coming home from their Christmas parties. DUI laws are non-existent here in the Philippines unless you actually hit and injure another person and that person actually doesn't drop the case against you.

  39. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by sandmangts View Post
    Spending time with the in laws got you down? Smoke a bowl, have a drink and drive them crazy by not giving a sh!t.
    YES!!!!!
    Ahhhh...Ahhhh....it's the hammy, it's the hammy!!

  40. #90
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    We're on a stay home every third year Christmas rotation. This is the year to stay home. Since October I've been telling everyone that my Christmas Eve plans are to go riding and that it may turn into a night ride if I stay out there long enough.

    For a little background, I'm 38 and my parents divorced when I was 14 so every large holiday since then has been spent traveling between their houses. My dad remarried 12 years ago and my now step mother believes in multiple celebrations for each holiday; one for the immediate family, one for her extended family, one for her friends, and this is on top of the other holiday parties she goes to. She wants my brother and I to go to each of them. After the 2nd year of that mess I said f'k a bunch of this, I'll come up to visit twice but no more.

    This past Monday I get a call from my dad and stepmom asking when my wife and I will be at their house on Christmas Eve and what time we'll come back over there Christmas day. Long story short, hell ensued after I reminded them of the plans I've been telling them since October. My wife being the mediator that she is finally gave in and told them we would be there on Christmas Eve, but that's the only time we would come up for Christmas at all. The plans would now be to go ride all day Christmas day.

    Christmas day forecast for my area?
    80% chance of strong thunderstorms.

  41. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheepo5669 View Post
    I dread it too. My main issue is having to take about 6 days off the bike. But otherwise I cant complain. No school or work is always a plus.
    yes, this is me! I travel to visit my wife's family and there's no time to visit the local trails, so I don't even bring my mtb, just our tandem and a roadbike in case I find a few minutes to slip away.

    This year I am heading up late with one of my wife's friends; I stayed home to ride more, but I got the flu and can't even dream of riding

  42. #92
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    I like my family's Christmas get-together. it's mostly about the people and the food, which tends to make it fun. This year will be rough, since my grandpa is fighting leukemia, dementia, diabetes, and heart failure and is just not the same. I am honestly surprised he's made it this far. we do a gift exchange game every year. one good gift and one gag gift. I'm putting a bottle of homebrew mead in it and a raunchy something from a sex shop. Going to stop in later today to decide. Don't have to spend a lot of money for it, so it works well.

    I don't care for buying individual gifts for each family member, which is what my wife's family likes to do. There are individuals on that side that I REALLY don't like (I don't like pr!cks who are abusive to their wives, ya know?), and so it pains me to buy something for them. I would just as soon ignore them the entire time, but my wife usually buys something, anyway. This year, we've managed a very valid reason why we aren't buying anything for the adults (only the kids), and I hope the other people in that family don't buy me crap that I don't want like they seem to do every year. I think we are going up there after Christmas so the wife and I can spend a quiet holiday together after being apart for 7+mo of this year. We are only spending one night, so that's good.

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    Thankfully it's just me and my wife this year. Whew...

    -S

  44. #94
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    I effing hate Christmas. Putting up the tree, decorations, buying crap and the guilt that goes along with it.
    I hate carrols too. They make me want to stick hot fireplace pokers in my eyes and ears.
    The only good thing about the holidays is the time off work... oh yeah, I hate work too.








    Brussels Sprouts... I hate 'em. They taste like cigars smell.

  45. #95
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    One of my favorite Christmas carols. Was gonna play it at an open mic last night but could not find a sitter;

    "We Three Clods From Omaha Are"
    (Sung to the tune of "We Three Kings Of Orient Are")

    We three clods from Omaha are
    Spending Christmas Eve in a car
    Driving, drinking, glasses clinking -
    Who needs a lousy bar?

    Oh, oh...
    Drink to Charlie, drink to Paul
    Drink to friends we can't recall
    Swerving, speeding,
    Signs unheeding -
    Drink to anything at all.

    We three clods are feeling no pain
    Drunk as skunks with booze on the brain
    Senses losing, 'til we're cruising
    Into a wrong-way lane.

    Oh, oh...
    Drink to Melvin, drink to Fred
    Drink to those two trucks ahead
    Headlights flashing
    Screeching, crashing -
    Drink 'til they pronounce us dead.

    This originally appeared in Mad magazine in the late 70's/early 80's or so when attitudes were probably a bit different about drinking and driving. So remember if you're driving, don't drink. And if you drink, don't drive.

  46. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3blackbikes View Post

    so now I do a Christmas phone call. I make sure I'm plenty drunk beforehand, and have a new beer ready to go, pass the phone around, talk about the weather and who got what, and bam, all is done. Then I get the bike or skis ready depending on what the weather is doing, and go have some fun. Living xxx miles away has its perks for sure!
    I do the Chistmas phone call, same topics to pass time. There are family members I'm glad to get it over it with. There are also a ton of people I talk to that I wish I were celebrating with. I love Christmas, have had fantastic holidays all my life and hope to pass that on to my kids. People who pass on partying (eating, drinking, making Mary... ) for whatever reason, the world is a *ucked up place, enjoy while you can.
    Gone are the days we stopped to decide,
    Where we should go,
    We just ride...

  47. #97
    mtbr member
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    I think this guy should share in our displeasure.
    https://www.facebook.com/TardarSauce...mpyCat?fref=ts

  48. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by daves4mtb View Post
    But hearing a guy talk about how he wants to reform his spandex styx-reo speedwagon cover band from the 90s and trying to not tell him that he likes insipid trash, I mentioned Warren Zevon, and got some blank looks.

    Your favorite band sucks. +1
    Gone are the days we stopped to decide,
    Where we should go,
    We just ride...

  49. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by manbat View Post
    id rather punch the d0uch3 who hands out anonymous negative rep
    Check your rep, it's not anonymous anymore. You can see who left it now.
    Ahhhh...Ahhhh....it's the hammy, it's the hammy!!

  50. #100
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    Manbat's D0uch3 Punch Fist activated!
    Quote Originally Posted by Tone's View Post
    Id scrap the passion forum all together, its a breeding ground for unicorn milkers, rainbow chasers and candy cotton farters.

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