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  1. #1
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    Bike for the post-apocalyptic world

    I watched on CBS a report about how "preppers" are getting ready for the apocalypse on Dec. 21, 2012. It made me cry (because of the sorry state of people, not because I'm scared) more than it made me laugh.

    Which bike would you want with you after the apocalypse, when there will be no gas, no roads and limited resources?

    Take your pick. We only have a few weeks.

    Disclaimer: I don't believe in this, just for conversation's sake. And don't troll by saying we'll all be dead either.

    Go!
    It's pronounced "so pro and cool."
    It was an impulse decision.

  2. #2
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    I'll get you guys started:
    All Ti (frame + fork + components) rigid SS 29er with semi-slick tires. Rear rack and and basket.

    @Trail Ninja, sorry I didn't do this earlier, kinda busy...
    It's pronounced "so pro and cool."
    It was an impulse decision.

  3. #3
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    Finally! I was just coming to start this thread when I saw you did it.

    Yep, a fat bike. Singlespeed, rigid.
    Replacement parts will be hard to find. Trail maintenance won't be high on anyones list. better be riding something that doesn't really need trails.
    Quote Originally Posted by Trail Ninja's Son
    You may be happy to hear that my dad has kicked cancer's ass. Now he's looking for whoever sent it.

  4. #4
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    "Replacement parts will be hard to find."
    Depends on how many survive and how much distruction.
    Zombies don't ride bikes so a zombie apocalypse woud leave lots of useable bikes around.
    The Myans are strangely silent about how this all goes down, maybe they weren't all that smart.
    Anyway Fat bikes are too slow getting up to speed zombies would be all over that, give me a Gary Fisher Superfly 29 FS.
    Happy Trails
    Jolly

  5. #5
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    195X all steel Schwinn Hornet or Typhoon or something of that ilk. Two speed kick-back rear axle with coaster brake, front basket, rear rack with panniers. Mossberg JIC scabbard mount. Would hope to build it out with a tandem 40 spoke heavy duty wheel set and get the full service done to it before the big event....

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by sauprankul View Post
    I'll get you guys started:
    All Ti (frame + fork + components) rigid SS 29er with semi-slick tires. Rear rack and and basket.

    @Trail Ninja, sorry I didn't do this earlier, kinda busy...
    I'll have what he's having.
    To narrow it down a bit, I'd say a Ti, SS Salsa Fargo or something along those lines with dropped bars that flare out a bit.


  7. #7
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    The preppers i keep hearing about kinda have a pet disaster scenario, and they don't often choose the same one. Assuming the disaster isn't something like an asteroid impact, there should be plenty of infrastructure. I wouldn't worry about a fat bike so much.

    I would want something that could be loaded with gear. Gas will run out so i will need a way to collect supplies or to get on the move. A rigid hardatil ss should be sufficient for low maintenance and maximum flexibility. Something with standard hub spacing so I could pull a trailer easily.

  8. #8
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    The local REI just had a class on surviving the zombie apocalypse. Boy am I going to feel stupid for missing that.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Treebumper View Post
    The local REI just had a class on surviving the zombie apocalypse. Boy am I going to feel stupid for missing that.
    I doubt you missed much

  10. #10
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    29er, 1x10, FS, with 2.5 front and 2.35 rear.

    i have a fatbike...ooh ahh so hip and SO SLOW AND SO HEAVY!!!.

    29er. cause they are kissed by the Allmighty. it endures, it climbs, it descends, it handles tech. 1x10 - cause its hip, and 10 is way enough gears. 1x3 would be good enough. Gears are not that hard to maintain esp if you only have 1 deraileur. BB7s. FS - cause your back will be sore carrying and towing machine guns in the zombie apocalypse. And today's FS are so good you dont need to do anything but send it to PUSH if you are having a mid-life crisis. Big mtb tires with thorn resistant tubes - nothing but bullets can penetrate. Mount a zip gun into the stem, bang sticks into a set of aerobars that also carries stuffs.

    and a bell. zombies hate bells.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Treebumper View Post
    The local REI just had a class on surviving the zombie apocalypse. Boy am I going to feel stupid for missing that.
    just blow a hole in their head, that will take care of them

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Treebumper View Post
    The local REI just had a class on surviving the zombie apocalypse. Boy am I going to feel stupid for missing that.
    LOL... the two REI's in town had the same class round about Halloween. The one by ASU was totally full for the class while the other one was empty. Guess the kids had the sense to go get prepped!

    -S

  13. #13
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    Alright! Almost started an end of the world thread myself but thought it might be too silly, well here goes-

    First off a Zombie bike has to have 26 inch wheels. 10 kazillion 26'ers produced means you'll never run out of tires or tubes.

    Second- It's gotta have gears. You might have to run 50 miles on pavement to trade for ammo or something and that 32-19 on your SS is going to suck after a few miles. Also you'll need to be able to out-sprint rogue dogs who will be eyeing humans as their next meal. Besides you can always convert to SS eventually when the shifting components wear out (you do have horizontal dropouts, don't you?).

    Those are my two main requirements, for now.

  14. #14
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    From all the posts about fat bikes getting flats, I'm gonna pass on the fatty.

    I would take my carbon stumpy fsr because I would head for high mountain country and your gonna need some travel being 25 pounds, I would have no problem out running them zombies or Mayans.
    15 Yeti ASR-c
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  15. #15
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    This picture is getting old but it fits.


  16. #16
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    /\ AWESOME!! lol
    I'll take whatever results in me carrying a smaller amount of tools, replacement parts and tires/tubes. I'll also be promptly looting REI and HTO when this starts to shake out.

  17. #17
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    A horse. When it breaks down, you can eat it.

  18. #18
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    Dunno what would be best, but probably not a chinese carbon fs with Lefty,650b Crests, Freds, XX1, Elixers, foam grips, eggbeaters, carbon saddle and a dropper post
    I'm sure someone can refine this non-selection.
    Last edited by Noclutch; 11-27-2012 at 02:33 PM.

  19. #19
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    It must be steel so easily repairable just about anywhere you can find welding gear.
    Rigid. No suspension-it will only give you problems down the line.
    Mountain bike or cruiser tires as you will need to be able to travel on dirt and crappy roads.
    26" wheels so you can pilfer parts easier.
    Rear and maybe front rack or BOB trailer.
    Would probably want the option for rim brakes too, even if you start with discs for ease of finding parts. Definitely no hydro-must go mechanical.
    Gears would be good, but being able to rig it SS in a pinch would be important
    Fenders. Nobody wants an acid rain soaked soggy butt.

    So I'd go with a Surly Troll or Long Haul Trucker.

    Surly: If you are listening, you should do an Apocalypse Edition Troll. And give me one for the idea!

  20. #20
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    I'd choose the bike I have, just like I did when I bought the thing

    Then i'd loot for spares and alternative parts
    I scurry away with my hardtail between my legs

  21. #21
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    If the Appocalypse happens, a bicycle is going to be the last of your worries.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadie scum View Post
    If the Appocalypse happens, a bicycle is going to be the last of your worries.
    shenanigans! a bicycle will never be the last of my worries.

  23. #23
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    surly karate monkey. when the apocalypse happens, the only thing left on this earth will be cockroaches and surly frames.

  24. #24
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    as long as it has a big flask I will be ok
    once the flask is empty I will want a new bike anyway

    Sj
    I am slow therefore I am

  25. #25
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    The Jugsley

    Fat Bastard will run (roll) over anything including zombies!
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Bike for the post-apocalyptic world-ditch-witch.jpg  


  26. #26
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    reported^^
    Quote Originally Posted by Trail Ninja's Son
    You may be happy to hear that my dad has kicked cancer's ass. Now he's looking for whoever sent it.

  27. #27
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    Honda Ruckus scooter for the win. Tires overflowing with slime, 60mpg. Low tech, faster than pedals, better payload then pedals, relatively quiet, low calorie usage to operate.

    If I'm limited to pedal power, then single speed, low tech rigid frame, heavy carcass long lasting tires, a pump and some grease.

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarkMac View Post
    Honda Ruckus scooter for the win. Tires overflowing with slime, 60mpg. Low tech, faster than pedals, better payload then pedals, relatively quiet, low calorie usage to operate.

    If I'm limited to pedal power, then single speed, low tech rigid frame, heavy carcass long lasting tires, a pump and some grease.

    You just gonna poop out some gas dude? This is Zombieland!

    Seriously though, putting a scooter above a bicycle? On a bike forum? Really?

  29. #29
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    I will take the 29'er that's already in the garage. I'm sure as hell not going to go out and buy a bike just for the Zombie invasion. I've probably got enough material to weld a solid rack onto the back of it. I'll need to make trips to go get grain so I can keep brewing once the rest of you not so handy people have consumed all the good beer!

    This reminds me I need to stock up on ammo.

  30. #30
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    Wth why do y'all think that its gonna be a zombie apocalypse? It could be anything. Just as Nate said. So hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanoes, and my personal favorite, reversal of the earth's magnetic field.
    So you won't necessarily be ripping off heads and crapping down throats, but you could be faced with immense destruction. In which case you'll need a good bike to get around.
    It's pronounced "so pro and cool."
    It was an impulse decision.

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by sauprankul View Post
    Wth why do y'all think that its gonna be a zombie apocalypse? It could be anything. Just as Nate said. So hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanoes, and my personal favorite, reversal of the earth's magnetic field.
    So you won't necessarily be ripping off heads and crapping down throats, but you could be faced with immense destruction. In which case you'll need a good bike to get around.
    Zombies are by far the most fun to talk about though. Plus when you 'die' of a zombie attack it's not nearly as bad as getting consumed by a natural disaster.

  32. #32
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    there was a movie where the earth was attacked by energy-consuming balls of light, and the only thing that saved the planet were the kids from Red Dawn but this time they were fighting WITH the russians. I dont think the bike helped them. The movie showed no scenes from bike-friendly cities, even though it was a global invasion. That's really poor screen writing imho.

  33. #33
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    Well, for a zombie invasion, I'll take an S works Stumpy FSR. Hehe can't hurt to go fast can it? Of course, I'll have to find a way to mount an LMG on the bike...
    It's pronounced "so pro and cool."
    It was an impulse decision.

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by sauprankul View Post
    Well, for a zombie invasion, I'll take an S works Stumpy FSR. Hehe can't hurt to go fast can it? Of course, I'll have to find a way to mount an LMG on the bike...
    That means I'm halfway there. All I need now is an assault rifle.

    Used to carry an FN-MAG GPMG (same as an M240G) on an MX bike in the military and honestly it was a pain to carry on 2 wheels even without having to pedal.

    -S

    Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk 2

  35. #35
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    OK, ur right. How bout a tandem with the person in the back facing behind? They'll have an LMG mounted directly to the bike. That way, you just pedal and steer and the person in the back pedals and shoots. How about it?
    It's pronounced "so pro and cool."
    It was an impulse decision.

  36. #36
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    I'd say I'd keep my Spec., but I like the idea of a rigid steelie.

    I'm going with a Surley Krampus and a Ted trailer (for scavenging supplies).

  37. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by sauprankul View Post
    OK, ur right. How bout a tandem with the person in the back facing behind? They'll have an LMG mounted directly to the bike. That way, you just pedal and steer and the person in the back pedals and shoots. How about it?
    Top heavy... and imagine that the recoil will rip the tandem apart. lol

    -S

  38. #38
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    Between "Doomsday Preppers" on NatGeo and "The Walking Dead" on AMC, I'd just hope I was one of the casualties and don't make it.

    As far as a bike goes, I don't know. Something solid, easily fixed or can run single speed, can carry my weapons, food and supplies. A trailer is a must. Not sure my fat bike would cut it, but my Fargo could.

    I was told a shovel was the best weapon for killing zombies as you don't have to reload it. I'd also make friends with a vampire for protection. Can't remember the show, but the episode was done seriously about who was stronger, zombies or vampires and then ran a simulation. If zombies exist then so do vampires. You can't have a zombie vampire as once the sun came up they'd explode as that possibility was brought up.

    I think the Mayans just ran out of rock and figured it would be quite the joke to end the world on that day.

    And yes, I watch too much TV.

  39. #39
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    Project Rwanda cargo HT, the coffee bike

    my bike: a steel HT.

    even better, a Project Rwanda cargo bike, a steel HT, by Richie:
    The Coffee Bike History | Project Rwanda
    “Everyday is a good day,” from the Blue Cliff Records, Yun-men (864-949 AD).

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany1 View Post
    Between "Doomsday Preppers" on NatGeo and "The Walking Dead" on AMC, I'd just hope I was one of the casualties and don't make it.

    As far as a bike goes, I don't know. Something solid, easily fixed or can run single speed, can carry my weapons, food and supplies. A trailer is a must. Not sure my fat bike would cut it, but my Fargo could.

    I was told a shovel was the best weapon for killing zombies as you don't have to reload it. I'd also make friends with a vampire for protection. Can't remember the show, but the episode was done seriously about who was stronger, zombies or vampires and then ran a simulation. If zombies exist then so do vampires. You can't have a zombie vampire as once the sun came up they'd explode as that possibility was brought up.

    I think the Mayans just ran out of rock and figured it would be quite the joke to end the world on that day.

    And yes, I watch too much TV.
    i like the way you think. However, a banjo is clearly the best anti-zombie weapon available.

  41. #41
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    I'll just pick up whatever is layin around, sort of like community bikes.

  42. #42
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    Remember what I said about the s works?
    Just realized. Shibiwan, if you dont survive, I'll steal yours....
    Or rather, I'll "pick up what's laying around" in your house.....
    It's pronounced "so pro and cool."
    It was an impulse decision.

  43. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by sauprankul View Post
    Remember what I said about the s works?
    Just realized. Shibiwan, if you dont survive, I'll steal yours....
    Or rather, I'll "pick up what's laying around" in your house.....
    Sure. I have 5 bikes in the house (a mix of BMX, MTB's) and if I'm already dead I probably won't care......unless I come back as a zombie.

    As for zombie weapons, I prefer a baseball bat. There's research to back this up too:
    BEST ZOMBIE DEFENSE WEAPON

    -S

  44. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by sauprankul View Post
    I'll get you guys started:
    All Ti (frame + fork + components) rigid SS 29er with semi-slick tires. Rear rack and and basket.

    @Trail Ninja, sorry I didn't do this earlier, kinda busy...
    Sorry buddy, 29er tires or tubes wont be easy to come by in the post apocalyptic world!

    Im in the same boat but with 26er tires.
    Raised in a Chicken-Coop by Chickens

  45. #45
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    My 1985 chicago built schwinn cimarron built as a SS should do the trick. With a basket and rifle rack of course.

    29er and fatbike tubes will be unavailable, and 700c road wheels will be unsuitable for post apocalyptic conditions.

    Rigid Steel 26er SS with strong wheels and a reliable chain would be what I want
    Raised in a Chicken-Coop by Chickens

  46. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by AZ.MTNS View Post
    I'll just pick up whatever is layin around, sort of like community bikes.
    burnt orange
    I am slow therefore I am

  47. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sheepo5669 View Post
    Sorry buddy, 29er tires or tubes wont be easy to come by in the post apocalyptic world!

    Im in the same boat but with 26er tires.
    Yeah, I guess. I just figured that it would be easier to roll over rubble with a 29er.
    It's pronounced "so pro and cool."
    It was an impulse decision.

  48. #48
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    I think we need an Apocalypse Ride night that week, either before we all die or after the fact as we were the only ones who survived. LOL. We'd probably all get arrested with our post-apolalypse set-ups though.

    GR guys have the perfect zombie weapons with their golf clubs so we can include them in the survivor statistics. We'd have a bicycle army comprised with shovels, baseball bats, golf clubs and artillery weapons.

  49. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany1 View Post
    I think we need an Apocalypse Ride night that week, either before we all die or after the fact as we were the only ones who survived. LOL. We'd probably all get arrested with our post-apolalypse set-ups though.
    Would you care to organize this event? Just make another thread like a week before Dec 21 and tell everybody to ride their bikes that evening and to spread the word. Would be cool.
    It's pronounced "so pro and cool."
    It was an impulse decision.

  50. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bethany1 View Post
    I think we need an Apocalypse Ride night that week, either before we all die or after the fact as we were the only ones who survived. LOL. We'd probably all get arrested with our post-apolalypse set-ups though.

    GR guys have the perfect zombie weapons with their golf clubs so we can include them in the survivor statistics. We'd have a bicycle army comprised with shovels, baseball bats, golf clubs and artillery weapons.
    I ride with one of these all the time. I've inadvertently walked into banks, coffee shops and a police station while carrying this. The only comment I got was, the desk seargent said. "You might want to put that in your pack."

    Quote Originally Posted by Trail Ninja's Son
    You may be happy to hear that my dad has kicked cancer's ass. Now he's looking for whoever sent it.

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