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  1. #1
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    Bike for the post-apocalyptic world

    I watched on CBS a report about how "preppers" are getting ready for the apocalypse on Dec. 21, 2012. It made me cry (because of the sorry state of people, not because I'm scared) more than it made me laugh.

    Which bike would you want with you after the apocalypse, when there will be no gas, no roads and limited resources?

    Take your pick. We only have a few weeks.

    Disclaimer: I don't believe in this, just for conversation's sake. And don't troll by saying we'll all be dead either.

    Go!
    It's pronounced "so pro and cool."
    It was an impulse decision.

  2. #2
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    I'll get you guys started:
    All Ti (frame + fork + components) rigid SS 29er with semi-slick tires. Rear rack and and basket.

    @Trail Ninja, sorry I didn't do this earlier, kinda busy...
    It's pronounced "so pro and cool."
    It was an impulse decision.

  3. #3
    I build my own.
    Reputation: Trail Ninja's Avatar
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    Finally! I was just coming to start this thread when I saw you did it.

    Yep, a fat bike. Singlespeed, rigid.
    Replacement parts will be hard to find. Trail maintenance won't be high on anyones list. better be riding something that doesn't really need trails.
    I have a device that can access the total knowledge of man. I use it to look at pictures of cats and argue with strangers.

  4. #4
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    "Replacement parts will be hard to find."
    Depends on how many survive and how much distruction.
    Zombies don't ride bikes so a zombie apocalypse woud leave lots of useable bikes around.
    The Myans are strangely silent about how this all goes down, maybe they weren't all that smart.
    Anyway Fat bikes are too slow getting up to speed zombies would be all over that, give me a Gary Fisher Superfly 29 FS.
    Happy Trails
    Jolly

  5. #5
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    195X all steel Schwinn Hornet or Typhoon or something of that ilk. Two speed kick-back rear axle with coaster brake, front basket, rear rack with panniers. Mossberg JIC scabbard mount. Would hope to build it out with a tandem 40 spoke heavy duty wheel set and get the full service done to it before the big event....

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by sauprankul View Post
    I'll get you guys started:
    All Ti (frame + fork + components) rigid SS 29er with semi-slick tires. Rear rack and and basket.

    @Trail Ninja, sorry I didn't do this earlier, kinda busy...
    I'll have what he's having.
    To narrow it down a bit, I'd say a Ti, SS Salsa Fargo or something along those lines with dropped bars that flare out a bit.


  7. #7
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    The preppers i keep hearing about kinda have a pet disaster scenario, and they don't often choose the same one. Assuming the disaster isn't something like an asteroid impact, there should be plenty of infrastructure. I wouldn't worry about a fat bike so much.

    I would want something that could be loaded with gear. Gas will run out so i will need a way to collect supplies or to get on the move. A rigid hardatil ss should be sufficient for low maintenance and maximum flexibility. Something with standard hub spacing so I could pull a trailer easily.

  8. #8
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    The local REI just had a class on surviving the zombie apocalypse. Boy am I going to feel stupid for missing that.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Treebumper View Post
    The local REI just had a class on surviving the zombie apocalypse. Boy am I going to feel stupid for missing that.
    I doubt you missed much

  10. #10
    parenting for gnarness
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    29er, 1x10, FS, with 2.5 front and 2.35 rear.

    i have a fatbike...ooh ahh so hip and SO SLOW AND SO HEAVY!!!.

    29er. cause they are kissed by the Allmighty. it endures, it climbs, it descends, it handles tech. 1x10 - cause its hip, and 10 is way enough gears. 1x3 would be good enough. Gears are not that hard to maintain esp if you only have 1 deraileur. BB7s. FS - cause your back will be sore carrying and towing machine guns in the zombie apocalypse. And today's FS are so good you dont need to do anything but send it to PUSH if you are having a mid-life crisis. Big mtb tires with thorn resistant tubes - nothing but bullets can penetrate. Mount a zip gun into the stem, bang sticks into a set of aerobars that also carries stuffs.

    and a bell. zombies hate bells.

  11. #11
    duh
    Reputation: deke505's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Treebumper View Post
    The local REI just had a class on surviving the zombie apocalypse. Boy am I going to feel stupid for missing that.
    just blow a hole in their head, that will take care of them

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Treebumper View Post
    The local REI just had a class on surviving the zombie apocalypse. Boy am I going to feel stupid for missing that.
    LOL... the two REI's in town had the same class round about Halloween. The one by ASU was totally full for the class while the other one was empty. Guess the kids had the sense to go get prepped!

    -S

  13. #13
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    Alright! Almost started an end of the world thread myself but thought it might be too silly, well here goes-

    First off a Zombie bike has to have 26 inch wheels. 10 kazillion 26'ers produced means you'll never run out of tires or tubes.

    Second- It's gotta have gears. You might have to run 50 miles on pavement to trade for ammo or something and that 32-19 on your SS is going to suck after a few miles. Also you'll need to be able to out-sprint rogue dogs who will be eyeing humans as their next meal. Besides you can always convert to SS eventually when the shifting components wear out (you do have horizontal dropouts, don't you?).

    Those are my two main requirements, for now.

  14. #14
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    From all the posts about fat bikes getting flats, I'm gonna pass on the fatty.

    I would take my carbon stumpy fsr because I would head for high mountain country and your gonna need some travel being 25 pounds, I would have no problem out running them zombies or Mayans.
    2014 S-Works Epic WC
    2014 Yeti ARC
    2014 S-Works Crux Disc

  15. #15
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    This picture is getting old but it fits.


  16. #16
    Kitty! Kitty! Kitty!
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    /\ AWESOME!! lol
    I'll take whatever results in me carrying a smaller amount of tools, replacement parts and tires/tubes. I'll also be promptly looting REI and HTO when this starts to shake out.

  17. #17
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    A horse. When it breaks down, you can eat it.

  18. #18
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    Dunno what would be best, but probably not a chinese carbon fs with Lefty,650b Crests, Freds, XX1, Elixers, foam grips, eggbeaters, carbon saddle and a dropper post
    I'm sure someone can refine this non-selection.
    Last edited by Noclutch; 11-27-2012 at 01:33 PM.

  19. #19
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    It must be steel so easily repairable just about anywhere you can find welding gear.
    Rigid. No suspension-it will only give you problems down the line.
    Mountain bike or cruiser tires as you will need to be able to travel on dirt and crappy roads.
    26" wheels so you can pilfer parts easier.
    Rear and maybe front rack or BOB trailer.
    Would probably want the option for rim brakes too, even if you start with discs for ease of finding parts. Definitely no hydro-must go mechanical.
    Gears would be good, but being able to rig it SS in a pinch would be important
    Fenders. Nobody wants an acid rain soaked soggy butt.

    So I'd go with a Surly Troll or Long Haul Trucker.

    Surly: If you are listening, you should do an Apocalypse Edition Troll. And give me one for the idea!

  20. #20
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    I'd choose the bike I have, just like I did when I bought the thing

    Then i'd loot for spares and alternative parts
    I scurry away with my hardtail between my legs

  21. #21
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    If the Appocalypse happens, a bicycle is going to be the last of your worries.

  22. #22
    parenting for gnarness
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    Quote Originally Posted by roadie scum View Post
    If the Appocalypse happens, a bicycle is going to be the last of your worries.
    shenanigans! a bicycle will never be the last of my worries.

  23. #23
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    surly karate monkey. when the apocalypse happens, the only thing left on this earth will be cockroaches and surly frames.

  24. #24
    Sup
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    as long as it has a big flask I will be ok
    once the flask is empty I will want a new bike anyway

    Sj
    I am slow therefore I am

  25. #25
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    The Jugsley

    Fat Bastard will run (roll) over anything including zombies!
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Bike for the post-apocalyptic world-ditch-witch.jpg  


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