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  1. #1
    Gears, beers and slices..
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    Official 2009 Crank The Shield thread of muddy death

    We're a month out, so let's start it up:

    Last year we sufferred through the bog fest, and blamed it on the wet summer and the storm that rolled through a few weeks before the event. Well, it's been another crazy, wet summer and the marathon series says this about their Haliburton course this weekend:

    "lots of mud thanks to another very wet summer"

    That doesn't sound good. Come on - who pissed in Mother Nature's corn flakes this summer? So many races washed out by rain. I can handle it for a few hours of O-Cup action, but I'm not digging the thoughts of 3 epic days in the mud, so I hope we have a monster heat wave that dries up the forest in time.

    I know she's got it in for us, but Mother nature be damned - I'm still pumped to give it another go. Who's in?

  2. #2
    mtbr member
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    I'm totally in and even up for trudging through the mud this Sunday in Haliburton but would really enjoy a drier race this year. I'd be fine even if the bogs were only knee deep instead of waist deep!

  3. #3
    Evil Jr.
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    Mrs. Monster and I are in again for another crack at the Mixed field. I think the marathon up in Haliburton will tell us a lot about how the race will unfold.

    I'm really looking forward to riding the trail we built for the race. From all reports, she's bedding-in quite nicely and all the rock we exposed is cleaned up from all the rain.

    That, and I can hardly wait for dinner/breakfast at White Pine. That was, bar none, the best food I've ever had at a stage race. Outstanding!
    Please enjoy seeing this terrible collection of me - something wonderful is about to happy.

  4. #4
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    I think that fabulous breakfast at White Pine was my downfall last year. Too much food!

  5. #5
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    We're in!

    My girlfriend and I will be back for another shot at this thing. Despite the bogs and complete bicycle destruction of last year we had a great time and recommend the race often.

    I'm curious about the new trails. Chico Inc. is a first rate organizer and I have no doubt they're going to work their butts off to improve things this year. They were caught off guard last year but I have faith for this year. Mud's okay. Hub-deep bogs and swamp hiking? Not so much. If I can find a place to stay Saturday night near Haliburton we'll race the enduro this weekend as a preview.

    I also wonder about the field. Did last year leave a sour taste with people? Opinions I have heard have been mixed.

  6. #6
    sock puppet
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    in my circle of riding buddies

    absolutely no one had a sour taste left from the CTS last year. Quite to the contrary - everyone enjoyed it immensely and we are all back. The group that I was with last year will be in the same cabins again, despite all the snoring, farting, cursing and you name it annoying things that we did to each other, just because...

    Mud and bogs are part of MTBiking and there is no amount of bogs that could tarnish absolute epic-ness of the day 3 last year, as well as total joy of both camps dinners and breakfasts...

    The race is in our backyard - it is a must do as far as I am concerned...

    Quote Originally Posted by PlanB
    My girlfriend and I will be back for another shot at this thing. Despite the bogs and complete bicycle destruction of last year we had a great time and recommend the race often.

    I'm curious about the new trails. Chico Inc. is a first rate organizer and I have no doubt they're going to work their butts off to improve things this year. They were caught off guard last year but I have faith for this year. Mud's okay. Hub-deep bogs and swamp hiking? Not so much. If I can find a place to stay Saturday night near Haliburton we'll race the enduro this weekend as a preview.

    I also wonder about the field. Did last year leave a sour taste with people? Opinions I have heard have been mixed.

  7. #7
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    Thanks Osokolo.

    We are working on course re-routes that will all but eliminate the bogs. I'm not saying there will not be some mud, but we are re-routing around "almost" all of last year's bogs. With stage #1 being changed and a better stage #2 we really want Crank to be more known for the kick ass riding, logistics and food than the bogs....

    We want this year's event to be more mountain biking and less bogs....

    With the amount of rain in July/August the Haliburton Forest ride this weekend will be wetter than we are hoping for our end of Sept race to be. That being said if Dan picks his course carefully it should still be pretty good.

    Good forecasts up ahead. I will have updates for Crank riders next week with photos once Sean and Matt scope out some more of the trails!!!

  8. #8
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    New Singletrack

    I had the pleasure yesterday of riding the new "Crank the Shield" designed and built by Chico Racing, 12 volunteers and Scott Holmes Trail Building Services. It is a hand built master piece worthy of its name. It rolls with the rock using it to form the base of an interesting flow over, around and through the beautiful Canadian Shield. The chosen line was very well done with an up and down elevation change that makes you work, but very, very rideable. Cheers to all that made this trail a reality. It was missing at this great place and you people have given the Halliburton forest a great gift that will last for generations. Once the owners of this forest see the impact that purpose built MTB singletrack has on riders, I hope plans will be in the works for more of this type of trail design. This place has a great system of trails but this new stuff is what every MTBer dreams about. It was not there before, but it is now and we have "Crank the Shield" builders to thank.
    Thanks for all your work, it was worth it.
    Have a fantastic race, you deserve it.

  9. #9
    sock puppet
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    and there goes my freshly

    brewed coffee and brand new keyboard...


    Quote Originally Posted by Phat Tyred
    I had the pleasure yesterday of riding the new "Crank the Shield" designed and built by Chico Racing, 12 volunteers and Scott Holmes Trail Building Services. It is a hand built master piece worthy of its name. It rolls with the rock using it to form the base of an interesting flow over, around and through the beautiful Canadian Shield. The chosen line was very well done with an up and down elevation change that makes you work, but very, very rideable. Cheers to all that made this trail a reality. It was missing at this great place and you people have given the Halliburton forest a great gift that will last for generations. Once the owners of this forest see the impact that purpose built MTB singletrack has on riders, I hope plans will be in the works for more of this type of trail design. This place has a great system of trails but this new stuff is what every MTBer dreams about. It was not there before, but it is now and we have "Crank the Shield" builders to thank.
    Thanks for all your work, it was worth it.
    Have a fantastic race, you deserve it.

  10. #10
    Evil Jr.
    Reputation: garage monster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phat Tyred
    It is a hand built master piece worthy of its name. It rolls with the rock using it to form the base of an interesting flow over, around and through the beautiful Canadian Shield.
    Glad you liked it Phat! We've had a lot of positive feedback so far. Sean did a masterful job laying out the line, the rest of us were just there for the grunt work and the details. Watching Sean (or Matt) pick trail through a forest is an amazing thing to behold. They see flow where all I see is bush!
    Please enjoy seeing this terrible collection of me - something wonderful is about to happy.

  11. #11
    Team Speed Co-Founder
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    Quote Originally Posted by garage monster
    the rest of us were just there for the grunt work and the details.
    and to provide a little entertainment around the campfire for young Summers...
    Thou Shalt Always Respect the Plight

  12. #12
    sock puppet
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    Quote Originally Posted by garage monster
    They see flow where all I see is bush!
    this is way too explicit!


  13. #13
    No. Just No. Moderator
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    Excellent news with the update Adam - thanks. CTS 2009 is a win-win proposition. Year uno of the event was truly a ton o’ fun playing around in the muck. If you told me the course route and conditions were going to be the exact same again this year, I’d be there at the start line without hesitation – maybe remembering to put in new brake pads before day 2. Somehow the tough conditions seemed more purposeful and fulfilling in a point-to-point setting, knowing that wading through some slop was actually taking us somewhere other than just getting that much closer to doing it all over again on another lap. Besides, the event was about more than what was happening between the start and finish lines. Where else can you hook up with that many great people to hang around? Nevertheless, if the layout gets changed up by Chico swinging it more toward regular trail riding, that’s a good thing too in my books.

    Before I launch into a tirade of trash talk, I should note that I’m in beg & grovel mode once again for a ride up to the Haliburton area on Thursday, Sep. 17th to get settled in for stage 1 the following morning. Dskunk who graciously provided transportation help for me last year is apparently going to be all tuckered out from a year of events in Canada and U.S. including 3x solo 24s, and consequently will be taking a pass for this one.

    If anyone can hep with a drive one way, or both ways, between Haliburton and somewhere in the region of southern Mississauga where I’ll be staying during my visit, I’d be much obliged for the assistance. Car rental is always a fallback solution, but I always prefer some company on the road to driving by myself. Post up or PM me. I haven’t started looking into accommodations overnight on the Thursday, but will wait a few days to see if anyone can shuttle me up there on Thursday before booking anything so that I can piece it all together properly.

    Now back to business. The trash talk element is seriously lacking in this thread. It’s time to get this party started.

    ONE - Never, ever, let yourself lose to anyone riding a singlespeed. Ever. Yes, the results say that Mark Summers roasted me on stage 2 last year, but I’ve spent the past year rebuilding my psyche to the point where I am now convinced that was some kind of foray into a parallel universe, and it never really happened. Upon returning home from CTS 2008 my kids clearly explained that they were filing to become emancipated minors, and change their surnames if it ever happened again, which is a good thing as far as I’m concerned because then they get a job and pay their own way through school while I plunder their RESP’s to fatten my stable of bikes.

    TWO - World Cup riders can bite me. If Zandstra, Glassford, Morka, Hadley, etc. had actually gone mano e mano with the rest of us instead of practically tying a tow rope between each other, the outcome surely would have been different, and potentially severely deflating to the fragile egos of these coddled and pampered celeb wannabes. These guys would have barely made it past the first 10km without their rolling group hug in effect on every stage. Sure, you might choose to remind me that a bunch of geriatric dudes from the 40+ category made me look like a schmuck anyhow, but I’m choosing to apply selective revisionist history here also (see item # 1 above)

    THREE - Keiller is running scared, blathering about some other event he has to attend when the more likely scenario is that he’s going to be in his garage drinking himself into oblivion before wander out to the countryside looking for some sheep, or whatever else 29er riders do in their spare time when they’re not posting corporate blog entries for a posse of mouth breather sycophants. Personally, I don’t blame him since if he were to show himself he would be witness to the unleashing of the fury of my pedal-powered tsunami, perhaps only surpassed by a bonafide Spak Attack ™ , or at least as close as can be put forth from someone not actually born into the mighty clan of Spak. Peter, you indeed the man of the moment. Tick, tick, tick. Oops, the moment's passed.

    FOUR – mtbmeister, I’ve heard that your fitness is off the charts this year, but until you can ditch the cornering like a drunken refrigerator strapped to a toboggan problem, I don’t really see you as a serious contender for 2010. Say what you want about the difficulty of keeping on a program with new baby twins around the house, but as far as I’m concerned less sleep just means more time for training, and more deadweight resistance to put in the Chariot trailer for hauling up the steeps. If this seems less than charitable, it’s probably because I’ve spent too many hours watching your event videos, and as a result I’m doomed to hear your heavy breathing echoing in my ears for the rest of eternity. If that isn’t hell I don’t know what is.

    FIVE – Oggie, you need to take a hard look at yourself in the mirror, Mysty’s right about you being just like a big, cuddly toy. The mantra is “Eye of the Tiger”, not “Eye of the Teddy Bear”. Stopping to smell the roses every time a pretty flower makes an appearance at the trail’s edge simply isn’t going to pass muster. Until you make a personal commitment to not only drive the knife in, but give it a good twist at the same time, you’re relegated to the B pile with along with Neil above. There’s still a few weeks for attitude adjustment though. Whenever you’re on the trails and you see someone ahead, I want you to reel them in thinking to yourself “Your ass is mine!”. Of course, in the case of CTS where we’re all shacking up in cabins together that could have multiple contexts, but really that’s up to you. I just mean that you should catch up to them, OK?

    SIX – Singlesprocket (or as we say in Deutschland, “Zingleshproket”) is my dark horse pick to take the overall. Oh wait, you’re probably not coming up for that weekend. Truth be known, I was giddy as a pig-tailed schoolgirl at the thought of sharing musings with you about the relative culinary virtues of various species of wild mushrooms, and postulating about the different potential solutions to the long shadow of social ills cast by the Global Conspiracy of Lycra Wearers. I checked the CTS rules, and there was nothing preventing you from wearing your baggies, since we know that donning lycra instantaneously rewires your brain functions. Research shows the effect is only temporary though, and if necessary I was even prepared to lend you a precious lycra garment from my own wardrobe, chamois only slightly soiled, and otherwise in good condition with the exception of a couple of patches where repeated wash cycles have left it somewhat transparent. Alas, looks like we’ll have to convene our little star chamber another year instead.

    SEVEN – Rumour has it that Veteran Youth is in the house for CTS 2.0. Admittedly, the handle “Veteran Youth” has always had me befuddled, to the point that it hurts my brain trying to best classify it as a dichotomy or a paradox. Furthermore, it makes me a bit fearful to ask the one question I’ve always wanted to know, which is whether you’re old enough to need to shave? While your skills as a pro wrench are becoming the stuff of local legend, it leaves me a bit fearful when the guy supposedly fixing my bike can’t even seem to make up his mind how many gears should be on his own personal ride. Do you just give your trusty Dungeons and Dragons dodecahedron 12-sider a toss before setting up your bike for every race? Or do voices speak to you directly in your head? If it’s signals that are being beamed to you by aliens or a clandestine government black ops program, a tin foil liner in your helmet may be of assistance, but if instead it’s your maladjusted inner child crying out for help, then I don’t have any specific recommendations for a resolution.

    EIGHT - Garage Monster is too slick, too smooth, too cool for school with his glib “It’s all about the fun” wishy washy persona so unfortunately I can’t sink my claws into him directly, but suffice to say that you’ve been implicated by association more than once further up. Don’t let your penchant for political correctness lull you into a false sense of peace, by thinking that I’m not hell bent on kicking your ass, Mrs. Monster’s ass, and the ass of any kindergarten age children that somehow slip through the entry process and make it to the start line.

    NINE – You may have noticed that I’ve chosen to feature only members from the grumpy, neanderthal half of our species here. Please don’t take this as a sign of misogynist attitudes, or fear of trampling over the fairer sex like so many delicate eggshells. It’s just that I don’t know you well enough. Simply raise your hand, and you can be a grumpy neanderthal too. If I can’t deduce enough directly from your post to trash you, then I’ll make something up. One notable exception is Rkay, who I had dinner with on the Thursday before the event last year along with a group, and is pre-qualified for neanderthal status already.

    TEN – Why does every damn list have to have ten items? There is no ten. Geez...

  14. #14
    Singlespeed Mysty
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    Cir-CHOO! or should I say Chirp Chirp?

    Quote Originally Posted by Circlip
    The trash talk element is seriously lacking in this thread. Itís time to get this party started...
    I'm not even racing this event and my name gets dragged in ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Circlip
    FIVE Ė Oggie, you need to take a hard look at yourself in the mirror, Mystyís right about you being just like a big, cuddly toy. The mantra is ďEye of the TigerĒ, not ďEye of the Teddy BearĒ. Stopping to smell the roses every time a pretty flower makes an appearance at the trailís edge simply isnít going to pass muster. Until you make a personal commitment to not only drive the knife in, but give it a good twist at the same time, youíre relegated to the B pile with along with Neil above. Thereís still a few weeks for attitude adjustment though. Whenever youíre on the trails and you see someone ahead, I want you to reel them in thinking to yourself ďYour ass is mine!Ē. Of course, in the case of CTS where weíre all shacking up in cabins together that could have multiple contexts, but really thatís up to you. I just mean that you should catch up to them, OK?
    ...
    FIVE happens to be my lucky number and as much as I think riding in the mud with Oogles would be fun, I won't have the pleasure of looking at his ass on the trails of CTS this year... next year for sure.

    You have Oogles mistaken with Noggy... I believe he's got enough hair on his chest to braid a carpet So I guess that would make Noggy the big cuddly toy like ALF and not Ooogles ... hmmm...

    alf_l.jpg
    "I became a member of Team Misfit Psycles because of the free coasters"

    diSSent 29er SS
    www.misfitpsycles.com

  15. #15
    sock puppet
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    sigh

    i only managed #5 on your list? that is utterly insulting. considering that i offered you a lift a couple of years ago to Albion Hills - what a waste of extra gas that would have been... at least i beat singlesprocket, who ended up in very good #6 spot.

    that is all i will say on the record at this moment. i will take some time to regroup and rethink my official response.


    Quote Originally Posted by Circlip
    Excellent news with the update Adam - thanks. CTS 2009 is a win-win proposition. Year uno of the event was truly a ton oí fun playing around in the muck. If you told me the course route and conditions were going to be the exact same again this year, Iíd be there at the start line without hesitation Ė maybe remembering to put in new brake pads before day 2. Somehow the tough conditions seemed more purposeful and fulfilling in a point-to-point setting, knowing that wading through some slop was actually taking us somewhere other than just getting that much closer to doing it all over again on another lap. Besides, the event was about more than what was happening between the start and finish lines. Where else can you hook up with that many great people to hang around? Nevertheless, if the layout gets changed up by Chico swinging it more toward regular trail riding, thatís a good thing too in my books.

    Before I launch into a tirade of trash talk, I should note that Iím in beg & grovel mode once again for a ride up to the Haliburton area on Thursday, Sep. 17th to get settled in for stage 1 the following morning. Dskunk who graciously provided transportation help for me last year is apparently going to be all tuckered out from a year of events in Canada and U.S. including 3x solo 24s, and consequently will be taking a pass for this one.

    If anyone can hep with a drive one way, or both ways, between Haliburton and somewhere in the region of southern Mississauga where Iíll be staying during my visit, Iíd be much obliged for the assistance. Car rental is always a fallback solution, but I always prefer some company on the road to driving by myself. Post up or PM me. I havenít started looking into accommodations overnight on the Thursday, but will wait a few days to see if anyone can shuttle me up there on Thursday before booking anything so that I can piece it all together properly.

    Now back to business. The trash talk element is seriously lacking in this thread. Itís time to get this party started.

    ONE - Never, ever, let yourself lose to anyone riding a singlespeed. Ever. Yes, the results say that Mark Summers roasted me on stage 2 last year, but Iíve spent the past year rebuilding my psyche to the point where I am now convinced that was some kind of foray into a parallel universe, and it never really happened. Upon returning home from CTS 2008 my kids clearly explained that they were filing to become emancipated minors, and change their surnames if it ever happened again, which is a good thing as far as Iím concerned because then they get a job and pay their own way through school while I plunder their RESPís to fatten my stable of bikes.

    TWO - World Cup riders can bite me. If Zandstra, Glassford, Morka, Hadley, etc. had actually gone mano e mano with the rest of us instead of practically tying a tow rope between each other, the outcome surely would have been different, and potentially severely deflating to the fragile egos of these coddled and pampered celeb wannabes. These guys would have barely made it past the first 10km without their rolling group hug in effect on every stage. Sure, you might choose to remind me that a bunch of geriatric dudes from the 40+ category made me look like a schmuck anyhow, but Iím choosing to apply selective revisionist history here also (see item # 1 above)

    THREE - Keiller is running scared, blathering about some other event he has to attend when the more likely scenario is that heís going to be in his garage drinking himself into oblivion before wander out to the countryside looking for some sheep, or whatever else 29er riders do in their spare time when theyíre not posting corporate blog entries for a posse of mouth breather sycophants. Personally, I donít blame him since if he were to show himself he would be witness to the unleashing of the fury of my pedal-powered tsunami, perhaps only surpassed by a bonafide Spak Attack ô , or at least as close as can be put forth from someone not actually born into the mighty clan of Spak. Peter, you indeed the man of the moment. Tick, tick, tick. Oops, the moment's passed.

    FOUR Ė mtbmeister, Iíve heard that your fitness is off the charts this year, but until you can ditch the cornering like a drunken refrigerator strapped to a toboggan problem, I donít really see you as a serious contender for 2010. Say what you want about the difficulty of keeping on a program with new baby twins around the house, but as far as Iím concerned less sleep just means more time for training, and more deadweight resistance to put in the Chariot trailer for hauling up the steeps. If this seems less than charitable, itís probably because Iíve spent too many hours watching your event videos, and as a result Iím doomed to hear your heavy breathing echoing in my ears for the rest of eternity. If that isnít hell I donít know what is.

    FIVE Ė Oggie, you need to take a hard look at yourself in the mirror, Mystyís right about you being just like a big, cuddly toy. The mantra is ďEye of the TigerĒ, not ďEye of the Teddy BearĒ. Stopping to smell the roses every time a pretty flower makes an appearance at the trailís edge simply isnít going to pass muster. Until you make a personal commitment to not only drive the knife in, but give it a good twist at the same time, youíre relegated to the B pile with along with Neil above. Thereís still a few weeks for attitude adjustment though. Whenever youíre on the trails and you see someone ahead, I want you to reel them in thinking to yourself ďYour ass is mine!Ē. Of course, in the case of CTS where weíre all shacking up in cabins together that could have multiple contexts, but really thatís up to you. I just mean that you should catch up to them, OK?

    SIX Ė Singlesprocket (or as we say in Deutschland, ďZingleshproketĒ) is my dark horse pick to take the overall. Oh wait, youíre probably not coming up for that weekend. Truth be known, I was giddy as a pig-tailed schoolgirl at the thought of sharing musings with you about the relative culinary virtues of various species of wild mushrooms, and postulating about the different potential solutions to the long shadow of social ills cast by the Global Conspiracy of Lycra Wearers. I checked the CTS rules, and there was nothing preventing you from wearing your baggies, since we know that donning lycra instantaneously rewires your brain functions. Research shows the effect is only temporary though, and if necessary I was even prepared to lend you a precious lycra garment from my own wardrobe, chamois only slightly soiled, and otherwise in good condition with the exception of a couple of patches where repeated wash cycles have left it somewhat transparent. Alas, looks like weíll have to convene our little star chamber another year instead.

    SEVEN Ė Rumour has it that Veteran Youth is in the house for CTS 2.0. Admittedly, the handle ďVeteran YouthĒ has always had me befuddled, to the point that it hurts my brain trying to best classify it as a dichotomy or a paradox. Furthermore, it makes me a bit fearful to ask the one question Iíve always wanted to know, which is whether youíre old enough to need to shave? While your skills as a pro wrench are becoming the stuff of local legend, it leaves me a bit fearful when the guy supposedly fixing my bike canít even seem to make up his mind how many gears should be on his own personal ride. Do you just give your trusty Dungeons and Dragons dodecahedron 12-sider a toss before setting up your bike for every race? Or do voices speak to you directly in your head? If itís signals that are being beamed to you by aliens or a clandestine government black ops program, a tin foil liner in your helmet may be of assistance, but if instead itís your maladjusted inner child crying out for help, then I donít have any specific recommendations for a resolution.

    EIGHT - Garage Monster is too slick, too smooth, too cool for school with his glib ďItís all about the funĒ wishy washy persona so unfortunately I canít sink my claws into him directly, but suffice to say that youíve been implicated by association more than once further up. Donít let your penchant for political correctness lull you into a false sense of peace, by thinking that Iím not hell bent on kicking your ass, Mrs. Monsterís ass, and the ass of any kindergarten age children that somehow slip through the entry process and make it to the start line.

    NINE Ė You may have noticed that Iíve chosen to feature only members from the grumpy, neanderthal half of our species here. Please donít take this as a sign of misogynist attitudes, or fear of trampling over the fairer sex like so many delicate eggshells. Itís just that I donít know you well enough. Simply raise your hand, and you can be a grumpy neanderthal too. If I canít deduce enough directly from your post to trash you, then Iíll make something up. One notable exception is Rkay, who I had dinner with on the Thursday before the event last year along with a group, and is pre-qualified for neanderthal status already.

    TEN Ė Why does every damn list have to have ten items? There is no ten. Geez...

  16. #16
    I Wanna Be Sedated
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    Damnit Oggie! If offering Circlip a ride to a race venue is sufficient for a top ten placing on his CTS wall of shame, I'll be glad to offer a ride up to Hickleburton in my fully air-conditioned, leather clad vehicle on Thursday prior to the Crank. I am currently having my Amex concierge search for a five star facility for wining, dining and overnight accomodations for a Lance-like pre-race ambience. Stay tuned.

    Quote Originally Posted by osokolo
    i only managed #5 on your list? that is utterly insulting. considering that i offered you a lift a couple of years ago to Albion Hills - what a waste of extra gas that would have been... at least i beat singlesprocket, who ended up in very good #6 spot.

    that is all i will say on the record at this moment. i will take some time to regroup and rethink my official response.
    Jouko

  17. #17
    sock puppet
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    too much wine and

    he will show you how good a lover he is...

    nope, not from my experience. ask Keiller. Ever wondered how he placed so high?????

    now you know...


    Quote Originally Posted by tapsa
    Damnit Oggie! If offering Circlip a ride to a race venue is sufficient for a top ten placing on his CTS wall of shame, I'll be glad to offer a ride up to Hickleburton in my fully air-conditioned, leather clad vehicle on Thursday prior to the Crank. I am currently having my Amex concierge search for a five star facility for wining, dining and overnight accomodations for a Lance-like pre-race ambience. Stay tuned.

  18. #18
    I Wanna Be Sedated
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    Elite endurance racers will go to any extent to reduce chafing on race day.

    Quote Originally Posted by osokolo
    he will show you how good a lover he is...

    nope, not from my experience. ask Keiller. Ever wondered how he placed so high?????

    now you know...
    Jouko

  19. #19
    No. Just No. Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by osokolo
    i only managed #5 on your list? that is utterly insulting. considering that i offered you a lift a couple of years ago to Albion Hills - what a waste of extra gas that would have been... at least i beat singlesprocket, who ended up in very good #6 spot.
    The duly appointed Committee for the Randomization of CTS Trash Talking Lists reordered my submissions so as to avoid showing any personal favourtism or bias. It's possible that before the randomization occurred, you may have beeen as low as #12.

  20. #20
    No. Just No. Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by tapsa
    Elite endurance racers will go to any extent to reduce chafing on race day.
    Indeed. K-Y is an extremely versatile product. Never leave home without it.

  21. #21
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    Ah, yes...Some very classic stuff you have written here our favorite Western inhabitant. While I am not focusing on my placement in your order so much, I appreciate the 4th place position in your diatribe, as that is one I will never come close to in this event in any time soon.

    I love the fictional aspect of your writing, as I don't know whom you've been consulting with on my apparent "form" this season. I would be flattered if anyone actually had any idea where I am at right now based on my early season troubles. Despite my late (in Ontario) peak recently, I have not been lucky enough to bring my 11 month old boys into my training regimen for some bike trailer hill repeats. That would simply not conform to safety policy, despite my slowness going up.

    Overall, this looks to be another fantastic Chico event, the best of the year really for those that participate in multiple Ruppel and Co. endeavors. I, like others, cannot wait to spend the evenings talking trash over some great chow and a couple of Wellingtons. And of course seeing some folks like yourself who we don't see often in our parts, despite your forum thrashing of our exploits.

    Yours Truly,

    Mtbmeister

    Quote Originally Posted by Circlip
    The duly appointed Committee for the Randomization of CTS Trash Talking Lists reordered my submissions so as to avoid showing any personal favourtism or bias. It's possible that before the randomization occurred, you may have beeen as low as #12.
    A bad day on the bike is better than a good day doing anything else...

    http://www.apexracephotography.com

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Circlip

    SEVEN Ė Rumour has it that Veteran Youth is in the house for CTS 2.0. Admittedly, the handle ďVeteran YouthĒ has always had me befuddled, to the point that it hurts my brain trying to best classify it as a dichotomy or a paradox. Furthermore, it makes me a bit fearful to ask the one question Iíve always wanted to know, which is whether youíre old enough to need to shave? While your skills as a pro wrench are becoming the stuff of local legend, it leaves me a bit fearful when the guy supposedly fixing my bike canít even seem to make up his mind how many gears should be on his own personal ride. Do you just give your trusty Dungeons and Dragons dodecahedron 12-sider a toss before setting up your bike for every race? Or do voices speak to you directly in your head? If itís signals that are being beamed to you by aliens or a clandestine government black ops program, a tin foil liner in your helmet may be of assistance, but if instead itís your maladjusted inner child crying out for help, then I donít have any specific recommendations for a resolution.
    Glad I made the cut.

    Re: the name, I chose it wisely about 6 years ago. At the time I was young but already had a fair amount of cycling experience. So I was a veteran, but also a youth. As I draw nearer to my 30s however, the name is equally relevant as I am now a veteran at being a youth, ducking any and all real responsibility and avoiding maturation and personal growth at all costs.

    Re: maladjusted inner child crying out for help. I spent my formative years reading the gospel of Espinoza and Cunningham religiously with a little Old Coot thrown in. So, you are pretty much correct.

    Re: race smack talk. I have had my goals set out for a while. I won't go into them in great detail but if I was first finisher with hairy legs (and no, 3 days of stubble doesn't count) I would be pretty stoked.

  23. #23
    Evil Jr.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Circlip
    ONE - Never, ever, let yourself lose to anyone riding a singlespeed. Ever. Yes, the results say that Mark Summers roasted me on stage 2 last year, but I’ve spent the past year rebuilding my psyche to the point where I am now convinced that was some kind of foray into a parallel universe, and it never really happened. Upon returning home from CTS 2008 my kids clearly explained that they were filing to become emancipated minors, and change their surnames if it ever happened again, which is a good thing as far as I’m concerned because then they get a job and pay their own way through school while I plunder their RESP’s to fatten my stable of bikes.
    Not to worry, Mark isn't making it to CTS this year so you don't have to worry about having your a$$ handed to you by him. You will, however, have to worry about being embarassed by Leslie and/or Noah. Stay thirsty my friend.

    Quote Originally Posted by Circlip
    EIGHT - Garage Monster is too slick, too smooth, too cool for school with his glib “It’s all about the fun” wishy washy persona so unfortunately I can’t sink my claws into him directly, but suffice to say that you’ve been implicated by association more than once further up. Don’t let your penchant for political correctness lull you into a false sense of peace, by thinking that I’m not hell bent on kicking your ass, Mrs. Monster’s ass, and the ass of any kindergarten age children that somehow slip through the entry process and make it to the start line.
    Flattered to make the list of course but with my milktoast demeanor, I can't actually bring myself to say anything mean 'cause mean people suck...

    I know, a Barney video should cheer me up!

    Please enjoy seeing this terrible collection of me - something wonderful is about to happy.

  24. #24
    No. Just No. Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by garage monster
    Not to worry, Mark isn't making it to CTS this year so you don't have to worry about having your a$$ handed to you by him.
    Phew.

    Quote Originally Posted by garage monster
    You will, however, have to worry about being embarassed by Leslie and/or Noah.
    Damn.

    Quote Originally Posted by garage monster
    mean people suck...
    Ya, let me know who they are, 'cause I'll help you give'em what for.

  25. #25
    No. Just No. Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtbmeister
    I love the fictional aspect of your writing, as I don't know whom you've been consulting with on my apparent "form" this season.
    Admittedly, if close correspondence to reality was a prerequisite for content on this forum then I wouldn't be able to post very often. That's why it is teh interwebs.

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