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  1. #1
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    Why miSSionary why?

    Every wed. night last spring, my little buddy miSSionary and I would ride from his house to the top of GM and back. This year, he is nowhere to be found. I got the call last night that he has officially broken up with me in favor of his sweet new girlfriend! I mean, she is REALLY HOT but this was our time, just this one night a week to ride bikes. He can ride her the other 6 days of the week. Oh well, I guess the best thing I can do is just be happy for you. At least now when the phone rings my wife doesn't say, "is that your little butt buddy Cole calling?". A few more therapy sessions and I think that I'll get through this.

  2. #2
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    Hang in there man! I was wondering where miSSionary was - haven't seen him posting on here in awhile. If you need to get out and trounce someone on the Sheep, count me in!

  3. #3
    skillz to pay billz
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    is his GF as hot as his avatar? if so I understand.
    Last edited by nOOby; 03-26-2008 at 12:54 PM.

  4. #4
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    Dont worry Mateo

    I am here for you man

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by mateomtb
    Every wed. night last spring, my little buddy miSSionary and I would ride from his house to the top of GM and back. This year, he is nowhere to be found. I got the call last night that he has officially broken up with me in favor of his sweet new girlfriend! I mean, she is REALLY HOT but this was our time, just this one night a week to ride bikes. He can ride her the other 6 days of the week. Oh well, I guess the best thing I can do is just be happy for you. At least now when the phone rings my wife doesn't say, "is that your little butt buddy Cole calling?". A few more therapy sessions and I think that I'll get through this.
    Life's rough buddy...

    6:00pm C470 Green lot....today.
    The more out of shape you are, the steeper the hill looks.

  6. #6
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    She's gotta go to work sometime.......at least long enough for him to spin out a lap.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by mateomtb
    A few more therapy sessions and I think that I'll get through this.
    You better not go after Spike to replace miSSionManiac, I'll be pissed. He 's mine, all mine

    Ed

  8. #8
    Hairshirt Rider
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    Quote Originally Posted by mateomtb
    He can ride her the other 6 days of the week.
    That'll get old and before you know it you'll be back in the speed dial rotation.

  9. #9
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    Wurd, they'll get hitched...

    Quote Originally Posted by Loudpawlz
    That'll get old and before you know it you'll be back in the speed dial rotation.
    Then he'll have 24/6 available!
    MY dog can lick YOUR dog!

  10. #10
    DWF
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    I don't know why this thread is so funny!
    A man must have enemies and places he is not welcome. In the end we are not only defined by our friends but those against us.

  11. #11
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    I know what ya mean!

    Quote Originally Posted by mateomtb
    Every wed. night last spring, my little buddy miSSionary and I would ride from his house to the top of GM and back. This year, he is nowhere to be found. I got the call last night that he has officially broken up with me in favor of his sweet new girlfriend! I mean, she is REALLY HOT but this was our time, just this one night a week to ride bikes. He can ride her the other 6 days of the week. Oh well, I guess the best thing I can do is just be happy for you. At least now when the phone rings my wife doesn't say, "is that your little butt buddy Cole calling?". A few more therapy sessions and I think that I'll get through this.
    Leaves ya feelin a little used, doesn't it?
    The Lee-Man

    A witty saying proves nothing. -- Voltaire

  12. #12
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    mateomtb...he even mentioned "gears" and "bike" in the same sentence...the dude has changed.
    Last edited by 32x18; 03-27-2008 at 05:36 AM.
    all single...all the time

  13. #13
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    MiSSionary spotting reported atop Dakota Ridge y-day.
    No worries kids, he's out there!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by lubes17319
    MiSSionary spotting reported atop Dakota Ridge y-day.
    No worries kids, he's out there!
    He's dead to me.
    The more out of shape you are, the steeper the hill looks.

  15. #15
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    ... and if we just ...

    Quote Originally Posted by ibmkidIII
    He's dead to me.
    Give "ol miss" a break, I once walked off the golf course on the 8th hole after my hot new gf called me and wanted to "see me".

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by DWF
    I don't know why this thread is so funny!
    Ditto.

    "Bros before hoes." (to quote Nelson from the Simpsons) Tongue firm in cheek.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by cocheese
    Ditto.

    "Bros before hoes." (to quote Nelson from the Simpsons) Tongue firm in cheek.
    Ha ha ha, well then I must throw out there that with Mateo's hair as long as it is and his having a wife and all...well, isn't Mateo too then in the "hoe" category cocheese?? I am just trying to utilize the best garden tool for the job you know, Mateo's just can't offer what she can...But if he can I don't wanna know about that.
    brokefork, thanks for the support, Mateo's married so he doesn't have to work as hard for the "action" if you know what I mean...wait...strike that, he may have to work even harder!!
    ibmkidIII, your dead to me too, I hope we both see eachother dead on the trail one day soon!
    lubes17319, don't tell them all that I've been riding...it is a ploy to keep 32X18 away from me so I can train in secret ...I need gears to get away from that freakshow, now that my secret is out he is going to need to be shanked, I'll give an adress to any willing party wanting to take this task on. Any takers?? JSD303?? FreakyC?? Anyone??
    Ed, Mateo's a "hoe", have you not been reading this?? Spike's already gone I bet. Sorry. I have no words for your loss.
    LeeMan, Move back! Wait, move HOME!
    Loudpawls, still not old!!
    DWF, I don't think anything in here is funny at all...it must just be us...Maybe just me even...I dunno.
    Okay, I gotta go...I got things to do people!!
    HAPPY TUESDAY MTBR FOLK!!
    Black Sheep...where it'ss at!!
    "I'm not known for my patience. Patience is a polite quality and often appropriate, but it rarely gets things done. Impatience, however, is the hunger for results and intolerance for excuses and delays." LA

  18. #18
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    Wink i'm just sayin'...

    Quote Originally Posted by mateomtb
    I mean, she is REALLY HOT


  19. #19
    Really I am that slow
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    Gears WTF!

    say it anit so!!!!
    Read my BLOG!

    just a guy who loves bikes and exploring

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by miSSionary
    Ha ha ha, well then I must throw out there that with Mateo's hair as long as it is and his having a wife and all...well, isn't Mateo too then in the "hoe" category cocheese?? I am just trying to utilize the best garden tool for the job you know, Mateo's just can't offer what she can...But if he can I don't wanna know about that.
    brokefork, thanks for the support, Mateo's married so he doesn't have to work as hard for the "action" if you know what I mean...wait...strike that, he may have to work even harder!!
    ibmkidIII, your dead to me too, I hope we both see eachother dead on the trail one day soon!
    lubes17319, don't tell them all that I've been riding...it is a ploy to keep 32X18 away from me so I can train in secret ...I need gears to get away from that freakshow, now that my secret is out he is going to need to be shanked, I'll give an adress to any willing party wanting to take this task on. Any takers?? JSD303?? FreakyC?? Anyone??
    Ed, Mateo's a "hoe", have you not been reading this?? Spike's already gone I bet. Sorry. I have no words for your loss.
    LeeMan, Move back! Wait, move HOME!
    Loudpawls, still not old!!
    DWF, I don't think anything in here is funny at all...it must just be us...Maybe just me even...I dunno.
    Okay, I gotta go...I got things to do people!!
    HAPPY TUESDAY MTBR FOLK!!
    Dude, you pulled off the proverbial gatling gun of prose there! Well played. I think I need to listen to more gangsta rap before I start throwing out references to garden tools like that.

    Anyway, welcome back.

    Sorry for the pile-on there.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by miSSionary
    lubes17319, don't tell them all that I've been riding...it is a ploy to keep 32X18 away from me so I can train in secret ...I need gears to get away from that freakshow, now that my secret is out he is going to need to be shanked, I'll give an adress to any willing party wanting to take this task on. Any takers?? JSD303?? FreakyC?? Anyone??
    It would appear that your offer goes unanswered. Come to think of it the "shanking" threats never seem to materialize..what gives?
    all single...all the time

  22. #22
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    LOL... If I shanked everyone faster than me, there'd be nobody left to ride with. If I have any hope of ever getting faster I need to ride with people like 32x18, not shank them.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by cocheese
    Dude, you pulled off the proverbial gatling gun of prose there! Well played. I think I need to listen to more gangsta rap before I start throwing out references to garden tools like that.

    Anyway, welcome back.

    Sorry for the pile-on there.
    Ha ha ha, I think too much gangsta rap was played around me before I got on-line.
    Black Sheep...where it'ss at!!
    "I'm not known for my patience. Patience is a polite quality and often appropriate, but it rarely gets things done. Impatience, however, is the hunger for results and intolerance for excuses and delays." LA

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32x18
    It would appear that your offer goes unanswered. Come to think of it the "shanking" threats never seem to materialize..what gives?
    The time is near for you 32X18, the time is near!! It hasn't happened to you yet as it could be a "one time thing" and I don't want to get it done too fast...I wanna enjoy it a bit.
    Black Sheep...where it'ss at!!
    "I'm not known for my patience. Patience is a polite quality and often appropriate, but it rarely gets things done. Impatience, however, is the hunger for results and intolerance for excuses and delays." LA

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by SlowerThenSnot
    Gears WTF!

    say it anit so!!!!
    It ain't so...no worries!!
    Black Sheep...where it'ss at!!
    "I'm not known for my patience. Patience is a polite quality and often appropriate, but it rarely gets things done. Impatience, however, is the hunger for results and intolerance for excuses and delays." LA

  26. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by JSD303
    LOL... If I shanked everyone faster than me, there'd be nobody left to ride with. If I have any hope of ever getting faster I need to ride with people like 32x18, not shank them.
    You just revealed my whole plan...AND...it isn't that there wouldn't be anyone to ride with, it is that you would then always be the fast one...See where this is going here?? Okay, don't "shank" EVERYONE...just 32X18...that'll do!!
    Black Sheep...where it'ss at!!
    "I'm not known for my patience. Patience is a polite quality and often appropriate, but it rarely gets things done. Impatience, however, is the hunger for results and intolerance for excuses and delays." LA

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by miSSionary
    Ha ha ha, I think too much gangsta rap was played around me before I got on-line.
    Okay... just to clarify. The term "garden tool" was used by De La Soul in a song called Jenifa. De La is far from gangsta rap, and writes far more awesomer and intelligenter lyrics than most "gangsta rap" thugs. Whew... I just couldn't let that slide.

    And now back to the miSSionary bash festival already in progress...

  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by JSD303
    Okay... just to clarify. The term "garden tool" was used by De La Soul in a song called Jenifa. De La is far from gangsta rap, and writes far more awesomer and intelligenter lyrics than most "gangsta rap" thugs. Whew... I just couldn't let that slide.

    And now back to the miSSionary bash festival already in progress...
    Just to clarify Mateo is the garden tool and it requires a whole different type of garden tool to shank 32X18...a sickle may work well.

    And now back to the miSSionary bash festival already in progress...
    Black Sheep...where it'ss at!!
    "I'm not known for my patience. Patience is a polite quality and often appropriate, but it rarely gets things done. Impatience, however, is the hunger for results and intolerance for excuses and delays." LA

  29. #29
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    Shut up and ...

    I should get a T-shirt printed up that says this:

    Shut up and Ride.

    Everything else is just Bull-DoDo (though it can still be fun).

    You'd better start practicing with those gears -- you're gonna rediscover those sitting-pedaling muscles! Wish I could be there to see you suffer!

    Okay, I feel better now. Thanks for the chance to bash.
    The Lee-Man

    A witty saying proves nothing. -- Voltaire

  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeeMan
    I should get a T-shirt printed up that says this:

    Shut up and Ride.

    Everything else is just Bull-DoDo (though it can still be fun).

    You'd better start practicing with those gears -- you're gonna rediscover those sitting-pedaling muscles! Wish I could be there to see you suffer!

    Okay, I feel better now. Thanks for the chance to bash.
    Ha ha ha, when I lost my gears you were the one telling me it was my choice and to "shut up and ride"...so I guess the shirt is very fitting!! No gears for me LeeMan, the bike would be bored and I'd be confused...
    Black Sheep...where it'ss at!!
    "I'm not known for my patience. Patience is a polite quality and often appropriate, but it rarely gets things done. Impatience, however, is the hunger for results and intolerance for excuses and delays." LA

  31. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by miSSionary
    Just to clarify Mateo is the garden tool and it requires a whole different type of garden tool to shank 32X18...a sickle may work well.

    And now back to the miSSionary bash festival already in progress...
    That's IT! You're now banned from MTBR for making threats and inspiring an F88-style thread.

    I bext you bought a goat bike didn't you?

    Ed

    PS - sorry for the obscure references for those of you who don't waste as much time on MTBR as some of us.

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by edemtbs
    That's IT! You're now banned from MTBR for making threats and inspiring an F88-style thread.

    I bext you bought a goat bike didn't you?

    Ed

    PS - sorry for the obscure references for those of you who don't waste as much time on MTBR as some of us.
    What's that Ed??...Sorry, cannot reply...I am banned remember?! ...Cheese and Rice, Got dandruff, some of it itches!!

    PS~Sorry to ANYONE who has suffered through this thread...no shankings will take place, for today anyway.
    Black Sheep...where it'ss at!!
    "I'm not known for my patience. Patience is a polite quality and often appropriate, but it rarely gets things done. Impatience, however, is the hunger for results and intolerance for excuses and delays." LA

  33. #33
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    crew

    Hey Dan, maybe Cole can crew for us this year? It's not like he'll be a threat on the course.

  34. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by mateomtb
    Hey Dan, maybe Cole can crew for us this year? It's not like he'll be a threat on the course.
    Oooo, this is getting good!!
    Sure you want me to crew for you guys?? I'd have your fate resting in my hands...Bwa ha HA!! ...That's it Mateo, we are now DOUBLE broken up...And quit going after Dan, friend or foe, I still gots the dibbs on him...He's not damaged goods until a good old fashion shanking takes place...Member that!
    Black Sheep...where it'ss at!!
    "I'm not known for my patience. Patience is a polite quality and often appropriate, but it rarely gets things done. Impatience, however, is the hunger for results and intolerance for excuses and delays." LA

  35. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by mateomtb
    Hey Dan, maybe Cole can crew for us this year? It's not like he'll be a threat on the course.
    Would be nice if he crewed but I bet he will work instead...that seems to be how it goes. I actually think he would be more dangerous if he crewed since we KNOW he is way slow this year.
    all single...all the time

  36. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32x18
    Would be nice if he crewed but I bet he will work instead...that seems to be how it goes. I actually think he would be more dangerous if he crewed since we KNOW he is way slow this year.
    More dangerous if I crewed you???...Ubetcha!! I'll be racing...the shank will be in-tow...book 'em Danno!
    Black Sheep...where it'ss at!!
    "I'm not known for my patience. Patience is a polite quality and often appropriate, but it rarely gets things done. Impatience, however, is the hunger for results and intolerance for excuses and delays." LA

  37. #37
    breathing helium
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    Don't let me break the momentum here, but can someone explain to me what is means to "shank" another rider?

    ...or do I even want to know?

  38. #38
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    A shank is a homemade prison knife. You don't want to get "shanked"... period.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiv_%28weapon%29

  39. #39
    Stayin' Puft
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    Wow, I just thought you carried an old Zefal-hp and jammed it through the other rider's spokes...what is this talk of "prison knife". ???

  40. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by LeeMan
    I should get a T-shirt printed up that says this:

    Shut up and Ride.
    Just order one.
    http://www.cambriabike.com/shopexd.a...D+RIDE+T-SHIRT

    It is my LBS logo. I have one of these on all my bikes.

    "The physician heals, Nature makes well" - real fortune cookie

    CCCMB trail work for trail access - SLO, CA

  41. #41
    Gone Bamboo
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    Quote Originally Posted by brokefork
    Give "ol miss" a break, I once walked off the golf course on the 8th hole after my hot new gf called me and wanted to "see me".
    Pff never even played golf but you people need to stop being so whipped. I would have played to the 19th hole (thats to the bar). and came home late at night, screw 'er. No pun intended. (As in forget 'er)

    Borrrinnnggg, a good time with friends will always be better then anytime spent with a women.

    Some may disagree, but they are the ones that are a face with no soul (and their women are either the same or a succubus, who cares).
    National Economic Security And Reformation Act

  42. #42
    old enough to know better
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    Lee-Man rumor, not just miSSionary

    Rumor has it that the Lee-Man may have a job he can do from anywhere. So why isn't he coming back to the people who love him?

    WHY LEE-MAN? WHY???


  43. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by JSD303
    A shank is a homemade prison knife. You don't want to get "shanked"... period.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiv_%28weapon%29
    Got it! Thanks JSD303. I have used the term "shank" to mean the act of hitting a poorly directed golf shot, usually into the woods or something.

  44. #44
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    I always thought 'shank' was a cut of beef.
    I'm sooooo out of the loop....not enough prison time on my part?

  45. #45
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    Because I'll break out the...

    Quote Originally Posted by headhunter
    Rumor has it that the Lee-Man may have a job he can do from anywhere. So why isn't he coming back to the people who love him?

    WHY LEE-MAN? WHY???

    "SHANK"!!
    Black Sheep...where it'ss at!!
    "I'm not known for my patience. Patience is a polite quality and often appropriate, but it rarely gets things done. Impatience, however, is the hunger for results and intolerance for excuses and delays." LA

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