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  1. #1
    My leg feels funny
    Reputation: liqwid's Avatar
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    Most retarded wreck so far

    So I was riding between Paid n Full and East Forrest today on a fire road at Keystone today. As I pedaled, part of my shorts grabbed on to part of my handle bar and when I pushed down on the pedal with that leg it turned my bar to the left and I went sliding down the road on my side. The whole thing took a split second so I'm not really sure exactly how thats supposed to happen but I do remember seeing the shorts on the handle bar. I'm wrapped from head to toe in armor so it just ended up being a chicken scratch on the leg and a banged up rotator cuff. The armor has a good amount of scratches in it so I know they did their job Seriously though I've never had my clothes try to kill me before.
    Last edited by liqwid; 07-18-2008 at 08:04 PM.

  2. #2
    what nice teeth you have
    Reputation: nadinno78's Avatar
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    When you least expect it.

  3. #3
    formerly shabadu
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    That happened to me once on Porc Rim.
    Now I pretty much wear lycra full time.
    It feels so fast when you are riding DH.

  4. #4
    Now with 20% more fat!!
    Reputation: JSD303's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear about your crash. I'd say mine was more retarded, though... I was riding down Roxborough loop and scouting another line through the only rough section by the tree (when I shoulda been watching where I was going) and BAM! I'm OTB... I've never biffed through there before and was apparently feeling cocky... that equals a nice hematoma on the arm - banged up knees a little, but I have my teeth still! What a dumbarse I felt like! Nobody to blame but myself. The bike is okay, so whew!

  5. #5
    hehe ...you said "member"
    Reputation: jake7's Avatar
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    Virgin clipless

    my favorite is still the first time you're clipped in and do the classic gravity check from a dead stop ... I actually saw a family go down like dominoes at a stoplight
    “Me fail english? Thats unpossible.” - Matt Groening

  6. #6
    skillz to pay billz
    Reputation: nOOby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jake7
    my favorite is still the first time you're clipped in and do the classic gravity check from a dead stop ... I actually saw a family go down like dominoes at a stoplight
    unfortunately we've all been there. several times. Once down slope into a manzanita bush.

  7. #7
    PDB
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    My best retarded wreck -

    Drunk with buddies
    riding home from the bars
    stopped for a 40 on the way home
    drinking and riding down the streets
    drunk friend hit a curb and fell of bike
    turned around to laugh at said friend
    rode into parked car
    broke 2 fingers and my brake lever
    was too drunk to straighten my stem
    ran into a dumpster (don't remember how)
    twisted stem/bars skewered my stomach
    had worst bruise of my life all the way through (and under) my abs
    Want to go green? Want to be low impact?
    Buy 2nd Hand Products!

  8. #8
    Slopestyle Rider
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    I can top all of you...

    Last week I was riding the jump line on Boot Camp at WP. Went over the last jump and overshot it and plowed into the dirt wall beside the jumps. The handlebars ripped through my jeans and just missed ripping off my jimmy. I fell onto my back on top of the bike with part of my jeans wrapped very tightly around the handlebars. As I lay on my back, I felt a strong breeze around my twig and berries. Turns out my pants were ripped wide open from crotch to ankle. Not only were they ripped, so were my boxers...wide open. So there I lay, flat on my back stuck to my bike... all my business in plain view. What do I hear in the distance, heading my way? A family of bikers... coming straight for me. So I forced my way up off my back, still attached to the handlebars. I had no other choice but to yank myself off the bike or that family was in for a surprise. SO YANK! Guess what happened? My boxers came completely off and were stuck to the bars. Now my pants are WIDE open, I have no boxers on and my stuff is on display for the world to see. Seriously, my junk is free as the wind at this point and I still have to ride back through the base area and back to my office. So I cup my balls and appendage and cruise the rest of Boot Camp down through the crankworx course. My buddy is dying laughing and making fun of me. We ended up having to drive a company truck back to the shops I work in, and my friend was just staring out the window and doing his best to not laugh as I'm driving butt-naked (almost) in a company truck. Fun times.

  9. #9
    Now with 20% more fat!!
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    joelalamo45 FTW!

  10. #10
    My leg feels funny
    Reputation: liqwid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joelalamo45
    I can top all of you...

    Last week I was riding the jump line on Boot Camp at WP. Went over the last jump and overshot it and plowed into the dirt wall beside the jumps. The handlebars ripped through my jeans and just missed ripping off my jimmy. I fell onto my back on top of the bike with part of my jeans wrapped very tightly around the handlebars. As I lay on my back, I felt a strong breeze around my twig and berries. Turns out my pants were ripped wide open from crotch to ankle. Not only were they ripped, so were my boxers...wide open. So there I lay, flat on my back stuck to my bike... all my business in plain view. What do I hear in the distance, heading my way? A family of bikers... coming straight for me. So I forced my way up off my back, still attached to the handlebars. I had no other choice but to yank myself off the bike or that family was in for a surprise. SO YANK! Guess what happened? My boxers came completely off and were stuck to the bars. Now my pants are WIDE open, I have no boxers on and my stuff is on display for the world to see. Seriously, my junk is free as the wind at this point and I still have to ride back through the base area and back to my office. So I cup my balls and appendage and cruise the rest of Boot Camp down through the crankworx course. My buddy is dying laughing and making fun of me. We ended up having to drive a company truck back to the shops I work in, and my friend was just staring out the window and doing his best to not laugh as I'm driving butt-naked (almost) in a company truck. Fun times.
    you almost made me squirt coffee out my nose

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by joelalamo45
    I can top all of you...

    Last week I was riding the jump line on Boot Camp at WP. Went over the last jump and overshot it and plowed into the dirt wall beside the jumps. The handlebars ripped through my jeans and just missed ripping off my jimmy. I fell onto my back on top of the bike with part of my jeans wrapped very tightly around the handlebars. As I lay on my back, I felt a strong breeze around my twig and berries. Turns out my pants were ripped wide open from crotch to ankle. Not only were they ripped, so were my boxers...wide open. So there I lay, flat on my back stuck to my bike... all my business in plain view. What do I hear in the distance, heading my way? A family of bikers... coming straight for me. So I forced my way up off my back, still attached to the handlebars. I had no other choice but to yank myself off the bike or that family was in for a surprise. SO YANK! Guess what happened? My boxers came completely off and were stuck to the bars. Now my pants are WIDE open, I have no boxers on and my stuff is on display for the world to see. Seriously, my junk is free as the wind at this point and I still have to ride back through the base area and back to my office. So I cup my balls and appendage and cruise the rest of Boot Camp down through the crankworx course. My buddy is dying laughing and making fun of me. We ended up having to drive a company truck back to the shops I work in, and my friend was just staring out the window and doing his best to not laugh as I'm driving butt-naked (almost) in a company truck. Fun times.
    Photo please!!!

    Marcia

  12. #12
    skillz to pay billz
    Reputation: nOOby's Avatar
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    how can we be sure you're a marcia

  13. #13
    Slopestyle Rider
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    Quote Originally Posted by chillmolly
    Photo please!!!

    Marcia
    Kinda like this...
    Attached Images Attached Images

  14. #14
    Living the High Life
    Reputation: Ithnu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chillmolly
    Photo please!!!

    Marcia
    Negative on that request ghost rider.
    You have just been mentally Rick Roll'd. Yup you're thinking about it right now aren't you? Don't fight it.

  15. #15
    mtbr member
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    Uhhhh...

    Yuk.

    M

  16. #16
    Stand back
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    Quote Originally Posted by joelalamo45
    I can top all of you...

    ... The handlebars ripped through my jeans ...
    Dude, this is why you pull out the classic Haro race pants.
    I wish I hadn't lost mine...

    My best stupid wreck was at Bergan Peak. I got partway up a boulder on the way up, stopped and unclipped both feet. While still straddling the bike, my outside foot slid and I fell/ rolled down an embankment, stopping about 20' down.
    Golden Bike Park

    Golden Connector Trails need your support!

  17. #17
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    Going no hands through the golf course, five seconds after I let go, the handlebar got caught in a bush. It moved far left, and I fell face first, to the ground in my right. It was exactly in the crappy part, it was covered in dry cement and debree.

    I cracked my helmet and scraped my arm. I felt like crying when I got up...it was my good helmet. I had the sensation of having awoken from a long dream just before I got up; although I got up immediately. It freaked me out. I kept riding though.


    Last friday:
    going down some steps that have a barrier a bikelenght right infront of them. They then go both left and right and end. Since the sides are blindspots, i got my friends to go down first, and tell me if there were people coming. I didn't hear them, so I went down.

    Just as I was going down, a woman with a baby appear, and freeze right infront of me. I thought I was going to take them down with me.
    I locked the brakes and bailed with an endo. I walked out with just a few minor bruises.
    I apologized right away, but she said something and kept walking upstairs.

  18. #18
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    Joe...That was funny!

    Not as good but still one of my best...
    Heading home from a night of street riding on the BMX, I cut thru this bank parking lot in North FoCo, I was pretty much at full sprint and cut under this overhang/lunch spot and WHAM! OTB and flat out on the pavement. Get up and turn around...my bike is parked perfectly in the bike rack of the bank.
    Bikes=Sanity

  19. #19
    Now with 10% more!
    Reputation: Da Dook's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DSFA
    Joe...That was funny!

    Not as good but still one of my best...
    Heading home from a night of street riding on the BMX, I cut thru this bank parking lot in North FoCo, I was pretty much at full sprint and cut under this overhang/lunch spot and WHAM! OTB and flat out on the pavement. Get up and turn around...my bike is parked perfectly in the bike rack of the bank.
    No way! That is absolutely hillarious!

  20. #20
    skillz to pay billz
    Reputation: nOOby's Avatar
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    my most retarded was several years back. Going about 2 mph on a switchback, front tire washes out(?), I go down on my shoulder and neck in some kind of inverted breakdance move and hear my collarbone snap. 2 mph? Had to hitchhike two rides to the car.

    Paid $1500 to some doctor to tell me what I already knew.

  21. #21
    Oh, So Interesting!
    Reputation: davec113's Avatar
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    really?

    Great story either way... it's hard to make up stuff like that, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.


    I wrecked last week entering a tight, steep s-turn, I was planning my line and lost track of a big rock that I jammed my front wheel into. Instant superman, landed a ways down the hill. Pads saved me from a broken arm.
    .




    Strava: turn off your dork logger when you're not on sanctioned trails.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by liqwid
    So I was riding between Paid n Full and East Forrest today on a fire road at Keystone today. As I pedaled, part of my shorts grabbed on to part of my handle bar and when I pushed down on the pedal with that leg it turned my bar to the left and I went sliding down the road on my side. The whole thing took a split second so I'm not really sure exactly how thats supposed to happen but I do remember seeing the shorts on the handle bar. I'm wrapped from head to toe in armor so it just ended up being a chicken scratch on the leg and a banged up rotator cuff. The armor has a good amount of scratches in it so I know they did their job Seriously though I've never had my clothes try to kill me before.

    I think i saw you do this yesterday. Were you with two buddies? I think we were talkin about somethin right before you rode off. I didn't see the wreck but looked over and saw you on the ground in the fireroad. I wondered how it happened,i thought you hit loose gravel and just laid it down. Killer shorts sounds better though......

  23. #23
    My leg feels funny
    Reputation: liqwid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stinkyfan
    I think i saw you do this yesterday. Were you with two buddies? I think we were talkin about somethin right before you rode off. I didn't see the wreck but looked over and saw you on the ground in the fireroad. I wondered how it happened,i thought you hit loose gravel and just laid it down. Killer shorts sounds better though......
    Yup, that sounds about right to me.

  24. #24
    Fast, not that fast
    Reputation: EvenFlow's Avatar
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    Ohhh, I heard the explosion too, I was the other one there.

    We were all stopped at that spot, I was *****in at stnkyfan cause he went the wrong way, as you guys were rollin away I caught your buddy say there was "..something over there checkin us out". Cant hear **** with the full face, I thought he said a bear...then I saw a deer....then I heard you blow up on the dirt! From what I caught looked like you hit hard dude! Saw you were up and moving, glad you made off with just a little scratch.

    I did a similar thing, standing up to crank and the chain snapped, jerked the bike over and slid across some pavement.

  25. #25
    My leg feels funny
    Reputation: liqwid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EvenFlow
    Ohhh, I heard the explosion too, I was the other one there.

    We were all stopped at that spot, I was *****in at stnkyfan cause he went the wrong way, as you guys were rollin away I caught your buddy say there was "..something over there checkin us out". Cant hear **** with the full face, I thought he said a bear...then I saw a deer....then I heard you blow up on the dirt! From what I caught looked like you hit hard dude! Saw you were up and moving, glad you made off with just a little scratch.

    I did a similar thing, standing up to crank and the chain snapped, jerked the bike over and slid across some pavement.
    Yeah man the suddenness and force of it really surprised me. I had to stand there a minute or two to make sure I didn't break my arm or anything, it felt really funny. The banged up rotator cuff has really made working on my house this weekend interesting

    Oh well, all in the name of fun right?

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