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  1. #1
    Big Boned
    Reputation: Manmountain Dense's Avatar
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    It's okay to love your bike, but...

    It's not okay to LOVE your bike.

    Man admits to sex with bike
    Edinburgh, Scotland | October 28, 2007 12:01:13 AM IST

    A man who admitted having sex with a bicycle in a Scottish hotel has been placed on the sex offenders' register for breach of the peace.

    Robert Stewart admitted to the crime Friday in Ayr Sheriff Court and is to be sentenced next month, Britain's Telegraph reported Saturday.

    Stewart was discovered last October by two maids who entered to clean his room during a stay at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, Scotland.

    The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex, a sheriff's spokesman told the court. The shocked witnesses told the hotel manager who told the police.

    Stewart, according to the Telegraph, is not the first person convicted of sex with an inanimate object. In 1993, Kar Watkins, an electrician, was arrested for having sex with pavements in Redditch, England.
    Never rub another man's rhubarb.

  2. #2
    Goofing off?
    Reputation: Intenserider2's Avatar
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    That is funny. I don't know which is worse - sex with your bike or JENKEM. Do a google search. Ewwwww.

  3. #3
    Big Boned
    Reputation: Manmountain Dense's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Intenserider2
    That is funny. I don't know which is worse - sex with your bike or JENKEM. Do a google search. Ewwwww.
    The answer, of course, is behind door number three: bukaki!

    NSFW.
    Never rub another man's rhubarb.

  4. #4
    Slopestyle Rider
    Reputation: joelalamo45's Avatar
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    So is it a crime to ride with the seat up your a**?

    JUST KIDDING

  5. #5
    mtbr member
    Reputation: hairylegs's Avatar
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    What kind of bike?

    Anyone else feel like they left a critical detail out of the story? Sex with a Roadmaster from K-Mart is on a whole other level of sick than having sex with say a full XTR Moots.

    Also- how? Are we talking about man-on-seat tube action here? Or seatpost-up-man action? Shoddy journalism all the way around.

  6. #6
    holding back the darkness
    Reputation: subliminalshiver's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hairylegs
    Anyone else feel like they left a critical detail out of the story? Sex with a Roadmaster from K-Mart is on a whole other level of sick than having sex with say a full XTR Moots.

    Also- how? Are we talking about man-on-seat tube action here? Or seatpost-up-man action? Shoddy journalism all the way around.
    I think that some mysteries are best left unknown. These are the things that the alien archeologists, ten-thousand years from now, will find and use to extrapolate into a picture of present-day culture and life on our world. Yes, it is best i think to bury such tales very deep.
    **** censorship

  7. #7
    Too busy looking good
    Reputation: HOser's Avatar
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    Funny, I have a full XTR Moots, and even though her tail is nice and soft, which is my preference (bones are for dogs, real men like meat), I've never felt the urge. But I fully support a person's right to have sex with a bike, as long as it's in private and the bike consents.

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