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Thread: Epic

  1. #1
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    Epic

    What's your definition of epic? Hard to pin down only 3 rides as epic - I've been lucky to live in several awesome mtn biking states (Including WA). Two of the author's rides are on my epic list, but I have many more in UT, ID and CO.

    My definition of epic is meeting 3 of the 4 criteria:
    1. Getting lost.
    2. Mechanical.
    3. Blood.
    4. Running out of water.
    "Serves you right to suffer." -The Wife (after being 2 hours late)

  2. #2
    Team Velveeta™
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    Quote Originally Posted by slcdawg View Post
    What's your definition of epic? ...

    My definition of epic is meeting 3 of the 4 criteria:
    1. Getting lost.
    2. Mechanical.
    3. Blood.
    4. Running out of water.
    Here are three more:

    5. A crisis of faith in your own status as The Greatest Mountain Biker Ever™
    6. Crapping your pants.
    7. Falling down and hurting your vagina.
    Tom Purvis - Salida, CO - http://teamvelveeta.tom-purvis.com

    "I like my wimmen like I like my beer--cold and bitter!"

  3. #3
    bacon! bacon! bacon!
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    After being on eMpTy BeeR for a number of years and reading ride reports... I've come to the conclusion that I've *NEVER* gone on an epic ride.

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    All seven sound good

  5. #5
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    Reputation: andrewnielson's Avatar
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    I'll add one more
    1) Post Ride Dales Pale Ale

  6. #6
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    Being totally whipped at the end of a grueling ride, thinking that the end is near, Beer Thirty is just maybe an hour more away.

    Then you find you've made a wrong turn somewhere and it's really six more hours to Beer Thirty. And you're out of water. Epic.

    Whether or not you have a mechanical in those remaining six hours is optional. I had a ride like that in Telluride once.
    A blind man searches in a dark room for a black hat that isn't there. Dashiell Hammett

  7. #7
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    Actually, Vail Resorts has redefined "epic" as:

    1: $125 lift tickets.
    2: Cutting down healthy, old growth forests in a landscape surrounded by beetlekill.
    3: $12 Hamburgers.
    4: Widening pre-existing singletrack so that it's Segway-friendly.
    5: Ski area rollercoasters.

    All super accurate, FYI.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by bart.taylor.sucks View Post
    Actually, Vail Resorts has redefined "epic" as:

    1: $125 lift tickets.
    2: Cutting down healthy, old growth forests in a landscape surrounded by beetlekill.
    3: $12 Hamburgers.
    4: Widening pre-existing singletrack so that it's Segway-friendly.
    5: Ski area rollercoasters.

    All super accurate, FYI.
    That is 100% accurate.

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