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  1. #1
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    Bigfoot sighting on Cap'n Jacks

    So I was riding along Cap'n Jacks last night( late afternoon) and I round the corner right at the stop-and-take-a-picture rock and I see Bigfoot standing right there in the middle of the trail. He looks at me like I'm in HIS way, clearly I have the right-of-way I'm on my bike. Any way he lets out this high pitched wail/grunt thing so I get off my bike, take out my hand cannon( which I always carry) and blast off three quick shots BAM!, BAM!, BAM! At least one of the shots hit him because he dropped like a dress at prom. So I go over there and I realize these Bigfoot creatures aren't as big as everbody say they are, he was maybe 6'. I'm looking at him closely and man do they smell FOUL! I look more closely and something doesn't seem right, It's an ape suit. I took off the mask and find some white, foul smeeling, dread-headded, nappy trustafarian.
    Well sh*t, I found a broken branch and I'm trying to dig a hole to bury him(It's the right thing to do) and I here some voices coming from up the hill... Heeyyy maaaan, like you just shot that bigfoot dude, I mean J. Duuude that was Inntense! Hey man who's hoggin' all the Cheetos? Just then I see three more trustafarians coming out of the trees and it looks like they are on fire, then I realized it was the Key they must have just finished blazing up.
    I get back on my bike and finish the ride and I'm thinking this light at Dusk really messes with your vision.



    [SIZE="1"]Idsclaimer: IF you believe any of this it's time to lay off the Mexican turf, get a job and move out of your parents basement![/SIZE]
    The more I drink, the smarter you get.

  2. #2
    rr
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    I need some of your stuff, I will keep an eye out for anymore pesky bigfoots and trustafarians today when we hitup the canyon.

  3. #3
    Your bike is incorrigible
    Reputation: Guyechka's Avatar
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    Where the hell are the pics? Forget it, where the hell is the crappy handheld black and white video footage?









    [SIZE="2"]Oh, wait, it's a joke. Sorry, I'm trying to read this in the basement where the lighting is poor, and my mom keeps nagging me to get off the computer. She let me use it to search for jobs, but screw that.[/SIZE]

  4. #4
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    A little tongue-in-cheek humor to accompany the recent rash of wildlife sightings on the Front Range. Sheesh you would think we live near the mountains or something. Oh wait...
    The more I drink, the smarter you get.

  5. #5
    ..ouch
    Reputation: thump's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ban'd4life
    So I was riding along Cap'n Jacks last night( late afternoon) and I round the corner right at the stop-and-take-a-picture rock and I see Bigfoot standing right there in the middle of the trail.
    .. and let me guess, he was rock stacking right?

  6. #6
    pin 'er up
    Reputation: miSSionary's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thump
    .. and let me guess, he was rock stacking right?
    No rock stacking...getting ready for the slopes!!
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Black Sheep...where it'ss at!!
    "I'm not known for my patience. Patience is a polite quality and often appropriate, but it rarely gets things done. Impatience, however, is the hunger for results and intolerance for excuses and delays." LA

  7. #7
    nice marmot.
    Reputation: upmtnsinbreck's Avatar
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    is the swanky BMW SUV of dispatched bigfoot still parked at the trailhead?
    Q. how many kids with A.D.D. does it take to change a light bulb?
    A. i don't know, ya wanna go ride bikes?

  8. #8
    rr
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    Hey Kelly, be careful messin with Bigfoot-

    http://www.metacafe.com/watch/191831...ith_sasquatch/

  9. #9
    Inflexable...
    Reputation: kchri's Avatar
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    Bwwaaaaaaaaaaaa!
    Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic...

  10. #10
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    HA! Now that was funny, too bad they can't show that version on the networks. Poor bastid reeks of patchouli now.
    The more I drink, the smarter you get.

  11. #11
    Thread Terrorist
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    Quote Originally Posted by ban'd4life
    I'm looking at him closely and man do they smell FOUL! I look more closely and something doesn't seem right, It's an ape suit. I took off the mask and find some white, foul smeeling, dread-headded, nappy trustafarian.
    Well sh*t, I found a broken branch and I'm trying to dig a hole to bury him(It's the right thing to do) and I here some voices coming from up the hill... Heeyyy maaaan, like you just shot that bigfoot dude, I mean J. Duuude that was Inntense! Hey man who's hoggin' all the Cheetos?
    You need to raise awareness in your community. Did you see the hippie-South Park Episode? I mean, its true. They will start to invade you house without warning. If its comfy, they will start to invite others. Next thing you know, they'll start a music festival in which you can't get rid of (Remember Steamboat a few years back). They'll tout their 'anti-corporation' theme and start to brain wash your kids.

    The music festival tickets can be purchased on TicketMaster, of course.

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