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  1. #1
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    Best excuses for climbing slow...on the Front Range

    Nothing wrong with climbing slow but some refuse to believe it could be related to their fitness or lack there of and that the only reason could be their bike/equipment/etc...

    What are the best excuses you have heard?

    -This bike really needs a travel adjust fork, if I could only lower the front...

    -If I had a Chris King Bottom bracket, I could spin will less resistance...

    -I need the 2.4's for the downhill

    -These tires aren't the best for the front range

    Post em up!

  2. #2
    friend of Apex
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    My bike weighs 36 pounds






    .
    Last edited by WKD-RDR; 06-12-2010 at 02:10 PM.
    the drugs made me realize it's not about the drugs

  3. #3
    Slow and steady
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    The best excuse to climb slowly is to take in the scenery.
    It's a 6" 29er, 69 HTA, 29" standover, setup for 31.6 Joplin, 83mm BB, blah blah blah. A bike for being stupid. --Walt Wehner

  4. #4
    Rigid in Evergreen
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    I don't want people to think I'm trying to compensate for something.

  5. #5
    My leg feels funny
    Reputation: liqwid's Avatar
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    My tire compound is too sticky

  6. #6
    mtbr member
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    I didn't get enough sleep

    I worked OT at work today

  7. #7
    Colorado
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    My bike weighs 35.5 pounds.

  8. #8
    3 Legged Big Top
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    I just wanna give you guys a chance to rest as you wait for me!

  9. #9
    Denver Lowlife
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    My brake is dragging.

    I had 6 Jack and Cokes last night.

    This is a terrible ride for single speed.

    ...all of those have at some point come from my mouth.

  10. #10
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    Excuse for what? Sometimes (most times) I'm just slow.

  11. #11
    zrm
    zrm is offline
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    Where's the shuttle vehicle?

  12. #12
    Chronic 1st-timer
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    I'm from the east coast.
    Trailwrecker at large

  13. #13
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    I'm going to hell and Satan is already pulling me down.

  14. #14
    Neg reppers r my biatches
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    invite Flyer to join you

  15. #15
    Rigid in Evergreen
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    My skinsuit is chaffing.

  16. #16
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    I just had double pneumonia last week.

  17. #17
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    I used to have a riding partner who, after I'd waited for 20 minutes at the top of a climb for him, say "I can't understand. I've been hitting the yoga a bunch the past month".
    So it seems to me to be, this thing that I think I see.

  18. #18
    bacon! bacon! bacon!
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    Quote Originally Posted by topmounter
    My skinsuit is chaffing.
    It forgot the lotion on its skin??

  19. #19
    Chronic 1st-timer
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    Quote Originally Posted by xcguy
    I used to have a riding partner who, after I'd waited for 20 minutes at the top of a climb for him, say "I can't understand. I've been hitting the yoga a bunch the past month".
    You heard me wrong, I was saying 'sofa', not yoga.
    Trailwrecker at large

  20. #20
    t.i.t.s.ceo/FR amoeba rep
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    I had to stop and think up some stupid acronym for t.i.t.s.
    I'm a cowboy on a steel horse i ride!

    the blog

  21. #21
    Rolling
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    Safety checks can slow one down.

  22. #22
    My leg feels funny
    Reputation: liqwid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lidarman
    Safety checks can slow one down.
    Safety meetings will slow one down even more

  23. #23
    Rolling
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    Quote Originally Posted by liqwid
    Safety meetings will slow one down even more

    You got the jist.

  24. #24
    That about sums it up.
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    All this rock makes for more gravity...

  25. #25
    rubber side down
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    The doping police took waay too much blood this morning when they woke me up at 5am. Still feeling woozy.

  26. #26
    Your bike is incorrigible
    Reputation: Guyechka's Avatar
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    Ummm, how about I'm just plain FAT?


    I know if I lost about thirty pounds I would be riding faster than anyone else out there.

  27. #27
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    Cross

    I'm still tired and recovering from racing cross last fall/winter and I don't have enough "base" miles yet.....

  28. #28
    My leg feels funny
    Reputation: liqwid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lidarman
    You got the jist.
    Sorry I've been known to be pretty damn safe in the past

  29. #29
    mtbr member
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    I guess smoking cigs for 20 years wil get ya a little.......
    Just ride and quit bit$hin.......Yeti SB5+..SIR9 SS...CD Synapse DA...

  30. #30
    A guy on a bike Moderator
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    I'm not slow.

    You're just faster.

  31. #31
    hehe ...you said "member"
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    -had to stop to puke
    “Me fail english? Thats unpossible.” - Matt Groening

  32. #32
    banned
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    There's sand in my mangina!

    I race glaciers, and they win!

  33. #33
    bacon! bacon! bacon!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pau11y
    <snip>
    I race glaciers, and they win!
    He's right... they do.

  34. #34
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    I'm just fat and lazy

  35. #35
    Shread Ready
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    My sag is causing me to lag. If I only had a lock out rear shock.

  36. #36
    Your bike is incorrigible
    Reputation: Guyechka's Avatar
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    Actually, no, this has happened to me more than a few times...

    I got a rock wedged in my front derailleur and I couldn't shift.

  37. #37
    mtbr member
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    I like making people feel good about themselves.
    Quote Originally Posted by Qatarbhoy
    I have to ask for them to do a "Number two" on my head

  38. #38
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    I took the left off of the climb up the Green Mountain service road (going up from Rooney) to get on The Rusty Sign Trail. Love doing that "backwards". You know how you begin with that straight down the chute section? A guy just blew past me going down, me being so slow on the descents and all. "Wish I could descend like that" I said.

    On the very next steep up, the guy had made it half way up, had his helmet off, was collapsed down on his bars gasping for air. I would have stopped and asked him why his climbing sucked so bad but I doubt he would have been able to talk. I kept climbing.
    So it seems to me to be, this thing that I think I see.

  39. #39
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    altitude of course!

  40. #40
    I'm with stupid
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    My other bike is faster and lighter on the climbs

  41. #41
    Inflexable...
    Reputation: kchri's Avatar
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    All the beer in my pack is weighing me down...
    Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic...

  42. #42
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    Sick of getting pinch flats so I have to run my tires at a higher psi which cause my tires to slip if I go to fast.... Gotta convert..

  43. #43
    Captains Log
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    Its hard to light a bowl in the wind.
    what do you find in a star trek bathroom?

  44. #44
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    I'm slow and fat. Wasn't this the 'best excuses for climing slow we've used' thread?

  45. #45
    mtbr member
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    Due to the effects of erosion, the longer it takes me to climb, the less I will have to...it's all about efficiency that’s all

  46. #46
    Think Circles!
    Reputation: DaveMW's Avatar
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    - I'm a Bike Patroller, I'm supposed to be slow.

    - I've been working out a lot in the gym and my cardio is suffering because of the extra muscle mass.

  47. #47
    mtbr member
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    my belly has it's own training wheels... I don't need an excuse!

  48. #48
    mtbr member
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    Your Girlfriend gave me CRABS.

  49. #49
    That's what she said
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    I had the shites last night and my stomach is still ripped.

  50. #50
    ~~~~~~~
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    i've been trying to loose weight to get faster, so all i had was a salad. my blood sugar must be really low.

  51. #51
    Rigid in Evergreen
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    I have a spin class tonight.

  52. #52
    My leg feels funny
    Reputation: liqwid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by topmounter
    I have a spin class tonight.
    you win

  53. #53
    FleshwoundGravityResearch
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tempest3070
    I'm slow and fat. Wasn't this the 'best excuses for climing slow we've used' thread?
    Those are not excuses, those are reasons... and I own exclusivity rights on them!


    And the reason for these reasons?... I recently obtained a kegerator

  54. #54
    Living the High Life
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    "I don't have the right gearing right now."

    "I already hit the gym this morning."

    "Full Trucker forced beer down my throat before the ride."
    You have just been mentally Rick Roll'd. Yup you're thinking about it right now aren't you? Don't fight it.

  55. #55
    Thread Terrorist
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    "I have broken foot"
    Golden Bike Park Group

    Peak Cycles Gravity Team & Bikeparts.com
    Trestle Bike Park

  56. #56
    bacon! bacon! bacon!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ithnu
    <snip>

    "Full Trucker forced beer down my throat before the ride."
    This one is supposed to make you FASTER.

  57. #57
    Thread Terrorist
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ithnu
    "I don't have the right gearing right now."

    "I already hit the gym this morning."

    "Full Trucker forced beer down my throat before the ride."
    If Full Trucker caught to yo force beer down your throat, you're REALLY slow... Sheesh
    Golden Bike Park Group

    Peak Cycles Gravity Team & Bikeparts.com
    Trestle Bike Park

  58. #58
    bacon! bacon! bacon!
    Reputation: SkaredShtles's Avatar
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    Not to mention if he had to *force* BEER down your throat... you fail.

  59. #59
    Thread Terrorist
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    That's slow as sh!t
    Golden Bike Park Group

    Peak Cycles Gravity Team & Bikeparts.com
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  60. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtn hack
    Those are not excuses, those are reasons... and I own exclusivity rights on them!


    And the reason for these reasons?... I recently obtained a kegerator
    Is it handlebar mounted? Doesn't that necessitate moving to a stiffer spring in the front and cause you to lose small bump sensitivity?

  61. #61
    mtbr member
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    I hate climbing on a DH bike
    Biker? I don't even know her.

  62. #62
    bacon! bacon! bacon!
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  63. #63
    Living the High Life
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    Quote Originally Posted by SkaredShtles
    THAT is the best excuse because whoever finishes the climb with that bike is a winner.
    You have just been mentally Rick Roll'd. Yup you're thinking about it right now aren't you? Don't fight it.

  64. #64
    Living the High Life
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    Quote Originally Posted by SkaredShtles
    Not to mention if he had to *force* BEER down your throat... you fail.
    Beer is for after the ride, pre-ride beers make my stomach burn. Silly FT and his pint to pint idea.
    You have just been mentally Rick Roll'd. Yup you're thinking about it right now aren't you? Don't fight it.

  65. #65
    mtbr member
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    Had to pack another one
    Dropped my lighter
    Your sister was hiding behind a rock naked back there, congratulations uncle!

  66. #66
    mtbr member
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    I'm too fast in the bedroom, now I'm too slow on the trail....make up your damn mind.

  67. #67
    bacon! bacon! bacon!
    Reputation: SkaredShtles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ithnu
    Beer is for after the ride, pre-ride beers make my stomach burn. Silly FT and his pint to pint idea.
    Quit being a whiny pvssy.

  68. #68
    Living the High Life
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    Quote Originally Posted by SkaredShtles
    Quit being a whiny pvssy.
    Hey now, I rode the 1st Pint to Pint the same as you did. That was the first time I discovered you actually rode bikes.
    You have just been mentally Rick Roll'd. Yup you're thinking about it right now aren't you? Don't fight it.

  69. #69
    FleshwoundGravityResearch
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tempest3070
    Is it handlebar mounted? Doesn't that necessitate moving to a stiffer spring in the front and cause you to lose small bump sensitivity?
    Multiple mounts, and I think your bump sensitivity isn't the only thing that suffers.

    Maybe PUSH has some ideas to help.




  70. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtn hack
    Multiple mounts, and I think your bump sensitivity isn't the only thing that suffers.

    Maybe PUSH has some ideas to help.
    These bikes would benefit from better valving . . .

  71. #71
    bacon! bacon! bacon!
    Reputation: SkaredShtles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ithnu
    Hey now, I rode the 1st Pint to Pint the same as you did. That was the first time I discovered you actually rode bikes.
    Did you have a pint in the middle? That made for a FINE pit-stop.

  72. #72
    FleshwoundGravityResearch
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    After a bit of testing last night, it appears that Gravity is what is slowing me down.

  73. #73
    mtbr member
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    I spent last weekend in Pueblo and still haven't reaclimated to the altitude.

  74. #74
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    I broke my leg three months ago and my fitness sucks. At least that's the one I've been using for huffing and puffing my way to the top.

    Is it embarrassing when hikers pass you?

  75. #75
    mtbr member
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    Quote Originally Posted by ayaws
    Is it embarrassing when hikers pass you?
    Yes! Especially the senior citizens!

  76. #76
    Goofing off?
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    This is my first mountain bike ride at elevation. I ive in death valley and just recovered from lung cancer. Lance is an inspiration.

  77. #77
    mtbr member
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    I got passed by a one-legged girl during the run on a half ironman, my ITB was causing me to have to walk the last 6 miles. I'll whip that one out again if I have to.

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