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  1. #1
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    Attention: PARKING LOT SHARKS

    Don't think we're not on to what you're up to. The normal person takes 5-10 minutes to get ready in the lot. Not you. You're stalling to allow some newb in front of you so you can get the satisfaction of passing them. Nice try guy with the mountain biker tattoo'd on your calf. Smoked on DR by a guy with an 11 year old Stumpy HT.

  2. #2
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    Attention: D-BAGS ON THE INTERWEBZ


  3. #3
    Rolling
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    Wow. Irony in this thread.



    And in case it's not clear, the irony is not the guy getting 'smoked' by the OP.
    Last edited by lidarman; 05-11-2011 at 08:17 PM.

  4. #4
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    Ha!

    I find this post hilarious. Can you imagine if that dude actually was waiting for someone to go out first so they could pass them and get a hard-on? I know some really slow ass parking lot dudes. Socks, shoes, gloves, helmet, sunglasses, camelback...it shouldn't take that long.

  5. #5
    Rigid in Evergreen
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    I don't know if this will make you feel better, but he was probably just eye-balling your junk while you were changing into your bike shorts.

  6. #6
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    Was it a Specialized tattoo, a chainring, or flames?

    That should cover just about every calf tattoo on a cyclist.

  7. #7
    i like rocks
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    seriously who gives a crap? ridding my 36 pound "am bike" i get passed constantly, and just laugh at the spandex clad dbags. the only thing that gets me is having to wait for them to get far enough ahead not to catch em on the downhills...
    Tim M Hovey

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  8. #8
    BMW 2002, Dodge A100, etc
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    It's a dog eat dog world out there....


  9. #9
    bacon! bacon! bacon!
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    Quote Originally Posted by euroford
    seriously who gives a crap? ridding my 36 pound "am bike" i get passed constantly, and just laugh at the spandex clad dbags.
    So they are dbags because they pass you? Or because they wear spandex?

  10. #10
    Rigid in Evergreen
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    Obviously something terrible like this happened:


  11. #11
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    Was it the same guy that listens to Nine Inch Nails and Katy Perry?

  12. #12
    Oh, So Interesting!
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    So you think some guy is waiting in the parking lot for YOU to go ride, just so he can start behind you and pass you?

    Seriously?

  13. #13
    Ka-coo-ka-cha!
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    Is this thread really happening? WTF...get over yourself!!! It is mountain biking...
    Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live. ~Mark Twain, "Taming the Bicycle"


    www.yeticycles.com

  14. #14
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    Sometimes i sit in my truck and smoke a bowl while i wait for you to change out of your work clothes and get all your tights on and ready to ride so that i DON'T have to have any encounter whatsoever with you on trail. if you are so self conscious about being passed or your perception of other riders intent you cant possibly be having much fun up there. just freakin ride and relax and have fun

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by schw8901
    Sometimes i sit in my truck and smoke a bowl while i wait for you to change out of your work clothes and get all your tights on and ready to ride so that i DON'T have to have any encounter whatsoever with you on trail.

    ^This.
    -Yet another internet example of the huge amount of d-bags that ride.
    Gone are the days we stopped to decide,
    Where we should go,
    We just ride...

  16. #16
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    maybe ride faster? problem solved

  17. #17
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    I was able to fend off mountain bike tattoo guy but was later killed by a 80# girl waiting for me at lot#2 at Red Rocks trail side. I've got a plan though. The 22# stumpy is being converted to single speed! I'll bet I save 200 grams!

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by davec113
    So you think some guy is waiting in the parking lot for YOU to go ride, just so he can start behind you and pass you?

    Seriously?
    He was fully dressed and had his bike ready to go when I pulled up in my car with my Sunday best on. He must have checked his Camelback 10#. He was waiting for someone. I saw him do the same thing at Falcon. Hard to miss the tattoo on the calf.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wiggs
    Was it a Specialized tattoo, a chainring, or flames?

    That should cover just about every calf tattoo on a cyclist.
    It is a silhouette of a mountain biker. I think it was green ink.

  20. #20
    bacon! bacon! bacon!
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    I'm starting to think this thread is a brilliant troll-job!

  21. #21
    zrm
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    Quote Originally Posted by topmounter
    Obviously something terrible like this happened:

    Doncha just hate it when those guys who waited for you in the parking lot give you "the look?" Nitecrwlr doesn't realize that he's in good company with Jan.

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by schw8901
    Sometimes i sit in my truck and smoke a bowl while i wait for you to change out of your work clothes and get all your tights on and ready to ride so that i DON'T have to have any encounter whatsoever with you on trail. if you are so self conscious about being passed or your perception of other riders intent you cant possibly be having much fun up there. just freakin ride and relax and have fun
    I only hold a mirror to the front range cycling community. Nobody ruins my ride. I find human animal behavior entertaining. Most mountain bikers fit into easily categorized and predictable categories. Me? I'm just the guy addicted to endorphins. You're the "easily upset by random posts on the interwebz guy".

  23. #23
    Colorado
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    Sounds like you may have some mental issues.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by nitecrwlr
    I only hold a mirror to the front range cycling community. Calf tattoo guy ruins my ride. I find human animal behavior entertaining. Most mountain bikers fit into easily categorized and predictable categories. Me? I'm just the guy addicted to endorphins. I also happen to be the "easily upset by faster riders on trail guy".
    fixed it for you.

    as for me, im the "bored at work so why not see if we cant get you all fired up guy"
    Winning!

  25. #25
    Rigid in Evergreen
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    Buck up little trooper, if you're not getting passed, then you're sitting in the back row of a spin class and that is a far worse fate.

  26. #26
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    If it's not the Sharks it the Silver Fox's. If not the Silver Fox, it's the Cougars. And we have not even left the parking lot.

  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by nitecrwlr
    He was fully dressed and had his bike ready to go when I pulled up in my car with my Sunday best on. He must have checked his Camelback 10#. He was waiting for someone. I saw him do the same thing at Falcon. Hard to miss the tattoo on the calf.
    Maybe he has a crush on you and likes to ride behind you.

  28. #28
    Dude...
    Reputation: ebry74's Avatar
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    What kind of headphones should I get?

  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by ebry74
    What kind of headphones should I get?
    hahaha oh man get the beats by dre, they're the best for drowning out all the whining you hear. but be careful cause im not sure if you knew this or not, but they are actually illegal (yes, as in breaking the law, making you a criminal) to wear while riding your mountain bicycle

  30. #30
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    Wow! I jump ahead of people and then block them if they try to pass. That way they can get on here and have something to gripe about. It's my little gift to them.
    Team MOJO Wheels.

  31. #31
    Rigid in Evergreen
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    If the sharks would only speak...

    Quote Originally Posted by IamSharkMasta

    When I'm sharking slow movers from the Jeffco trailhead parking lots, I usually go for the big initial pass right away, get just out of sight, fake a mechanical (catch my breath LOL) and then drill them again... rinse and repeat. U cant beat teh rush!!1!

  32. #32
    DWF
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    Here's what I do: I wait at the top of the climb with my full rigid bike until I see some loser wearing a Primal Wear jersey with a 6" dually start the decent. I'll give them 30 seconds or a minute and then I chase them down and ride right on their rear wheel until they crash or pull over. Crashing is more fulfilling. It's good DH training plus they clear trail for you. I'm easy like a Sunday morning that way.
    A man must have enemies and places he is not welcome. In the end we are not only defined by our friends but those against us.

  33. #33
    bacon! bacon! bacon!
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    Quote Originally Posted by DWF
    Here's what I do: I wait at the top of the climb with my full rigid bike until I see some loser wearing a Primal Wear jersey with a 6" dually start the decent. I'll give them 30 seconds or a minute and then I chase them down and ride right on their rear wheel until they crash or pull over. Crashing is more fulfilling. It's good DH training plus they clear trail for you. I'm easy like a Sunday morning that way.
    This man knows how to roll.

  34. #34
    Loser
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    What's the best seatpost for the front range?

  35. #35
    Rigid in Evergreen
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    Quote Originally Posted by DWF
    Here's what I do: I wait at the top of the climb with my full rigid bike until I see some loser wearing a Primal Wear jersey with a 6" dually start the decent. I'll give them 30 seconds or a minute and then I chase them down and ride right on their rear wheel until they crash or pull over. Crashing is more fulfilling. It's good DH training plus they clear trail for you. I'm easy like a Sunday morning that way.


    Or when they ask if you want to get by, just say "Nah, I'm good"

  36. #36
    slow
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    Quote Originally Posted by DWF
    Here's what I do: I wait at the top of the climb with my full rigid bike until I see some loser wearing a Primal Wear jersey with a 6" dually start the decent. I'll give them 30 seconds or a minute and then I chase them down and ride right on their rear wheel until they crash or pull over. Crashing is more fulfilling. It's good DH training plus they clear trail for you. I'm easy like a Sunday morning that way.
    Hopefully you are riding a vintage Goat that is older than the rider you are chasing down, just to put a bit of salt in the wound.

  37. #37
    DWF
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    Quote Originally Posted by sgltrak
    Hopefully you are riding a vintage Goat that is older than the rider you are chasing down, just to put a bit of salt in the wound.
    And some of these guys think I'm kidding!
    A man must have enemies and places he is not welcome. In the end we are not only defined by our friends but those against us.

  38. #38
    mkk
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    this thread is hilarious.

  39. #39
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    I wasn't sure this thread was real. Thought it was going to be about someone breaking into cars a the lot???? I want my 3 minutes back!
    High Ho Sultan, Lets GO

  40. #40
    "Oldfart from Wayback"
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    Get some of this, it works great !


  41. #41
    Rolling
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    Quote Originally Posted by SkaredShtles
    I'm starting to think this thread is a brilliant troll-job!
    <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y228/lidarman/misc/textb.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
    Last edited by lidarman; 05-12-2011 at 07:27 PM.

  42. #42
    Captains Log
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    Note to self: CHAIN lube is NOT an equivalent substitute. ; )
    what do you find in a star trek bathroom?

  43. #43
    friend of Apex
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    Oh I'm such a silly fool! I picked the wrong stud for a little ego bump.
    But hey, thanks for noticing my calves. I've been toning them in step class.
    A bit of a consolation prize, I suppose. Lol at me!

    Oh, and did you catch Grey`s Anatomy tonight?
    OMG! Spoiler alert!
    Meredith is SUCH a yatch!

    Anyway, see you around my Crawler. Soon?
    the drugs made me realize it's not about the drugs

  44. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by coldsteele
    Wow! I jump ahead of people and then block them if they try to pass. That way they can get on here and have something to gripe about. It's my little gift to them.

    Beautiful! That made me laugh.

  45. #45
    "Oldfart from Wayback"
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    Looks like it was designed for Falcon and keeps your junk safe for 1 hr.

  46. #46
    i like rocks
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    Quote Originally Posted by SkaredShtles
    So they are dbags because they pass you? Or because they wear spandex?
    a little bit of both, if they'd stayed behind i wouldn't have suffered the view of the spandex.
    Tim M Hovey

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  47. #47
    Dude...
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    Quote Originally Posted by euroford
    a little bit of both, if they'd stayed behind i wouldn't have suffered the view of the spandex.
    Does it creep you out b/c you like it in some weird way? Not sure I get the issue with spandex. Seems kinda homophobic to me. Have I mentioned I really love observing the human condition. I find it so fascinating.

  48. #48
    Oh no you di'int
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    It sounds like it's not the only thing you like observing

  49. #49
    Dude...
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    Quote Originally Posted by nitecrwlr
    I find human animal behavior entertaining.
    I do like observing other things, but you may have missed the joke.

    I don't however classify riders who wear spandex as dbags just b/c they might pass me, and then be ashamed to look at them for some homophobic reasons. Seems kind of silly to me. Wear what you're comfortable wearing.

  50. #50
    i like rocks
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    Quote Originally Posted by ebry74
    Does it creep you out b/c you like it in some weird way? Not sure I get the issue with spandex. Seems kinda homophobic to me. Have I mentioned I really love observing the human condition. I find it so fascinating.
    its just one of those things that causes me to loose faith in humanity. since when do grown men ever think its cool to go anywhere in anything skin tight? it completely offsets the awesomeness that it is mountain biking.

    baby jesus cries a little every time you leave the house wearing those things.

    its totally not a homophobic thing, i met a gay couple out at walker ranch one day (they were of course wearing baggy shorts), and these dudes were freeking rad and funny as hell. i shared some beers with them in the parking lot and he was going off about "look im a bit of a girly man, so i walk down through those rock sections, but if i was gunna really nail it, i'd wanna be on that bike! that thing is soooooo hawt!!" i was in stitches, that guy was awsome.

    so i guess just to say, this gay dude, was totally freekin rad and just having a good old time. not being a ***** thinking he's mr. pro xc racer guy getting his kicks passing peeps. those are the guys with the sexuality issues.
    Tim M Hovey

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