When I set up my last bike I settled on a Van R with an 800# spring. I was 270 pounds at the time, so the weight of the bike was not my biggest concern. Rode really well for my style as I wasn't looking for "plush", just a little give.
rwrc, what do you mean when you say the shock "can't handle it?" The pressure setting is within the range of what the shock can take. Are you running it too soft and bottoming out? Have you sagged the bike properly?
Dad is sad.
Very, very sad.
He had a bad day.
What a day Dad had!