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Thread: Rapha Rant

  1. #1
    jms
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    Rapha Rant

    Can the apocalypse be far behind? The day a cosmetics counter appears next to the display case for the latest and greatest drivetrain widgets and gizmos down at the bike shop, I'm quitting. Done. Packing it in. I'll announce it with one last embarrassingly loud and fragrant cloud of carbo-overloaded flatulence, and amble out of the shop. When I get home, I'm grabbing all my riding clothing and shoes, building a funeral pyre in the back yard, and dropping a match on it. When the smoke clears and the fire department leaves, I'll E-Bay the bikes. Donate the Cliff Bars and Cytomax to the food bank. I'll start smoking, drinking and frequenting Burger King. It's gonna be a sad day for me.

    Never happen? Laughing at me are you?

    Oh it's closer than you might think. Rapha and that lot are leading the "charge" toward more making cycling more "fashionable", the next golf. Oh please don't stain that free range, shade grown, virgin lycra $500 designer short and jersey ensemble with a layer of snot on the sleeves, and horse***** plastered up the back. Post ride, oh lets do pull on a pair of those 250 dollar Hincapie designer jeans, and monogrammed leather bomber jacket or merino wool hoodie.

    Longass rides are becoming "Gran Fondos" or "Gentlemen's Rides", complete with gourmet food at the rest stops no less, thanks to Rapha and their ilk. Whatever happened to groveling in to the convenience store at the end of a long day, grabbing a Snickers bar and a Coke or cup of coffee, and sprawling on the curb with a couple of your buddies and laughing through the highlights?

    And now the latest from those brutally stylish tools at Rapha:

    http://competitivecyclist.cmail3.com...4D01E12DB8921D

    I'm getting a coat hanger, a Hershey bar, marshmallows and making "Smores" out of my Powerbars.....
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  2. #2
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    You sound like one of the old, grumpy, elitist cyclists that go to Slough's.

    I agree with you to a certain degree, but as companies target the Gen Y market in the cycling segment and push it as a fashionable lifestyle, you're going to see this more and more. All you can do it is ignore those who ride bikes to look 'cool' and be fashionable and enjoy the crap out of your bike. Just look at it this way, more products for the biking segment and attention may lead to a more focused attempt by cities to improve the infrastructure and create a safer cycling environment for bicyclists.

    Oh, and it's not like you'll have to worry about those fancy cyclists on the trails. They'll go out once, eat **** or just stall, fall and scrape their elbow and never hit a trail ever again.

    I think I'm ranting now. Need sleep.

  3. #3
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    Come-on John, what's wrong with a little bit of stylish heat for your January rides in the snow?

    Rapha Winter Embrocation must be much better than your regular leg warmers:

    A highly effective cycling embrocation for cold conditions. Rapha Embrocation has a fragrance inspired by the plants and herbs of Mont Ventoux and is made from three warming agents, winter green, capsicum and vanilla. The embrocation provides up to six hours protection.

    Just make sure you stay down-wind of me.
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  4. #4
    Obi
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    Apparently you've not had the opportunity to shop for a lady friend, wife, whatever lately and experience the cute ladies at the Mac cosmetics counter..


    Meee...owwwwwwwowwwwww! Rrrrrr, schwing!

    ..not that I look at them..


    ..or drool..



    ..for too long.

    You should figure that in a shop sooner or later we all see cougars and hotties, Rapha's just trying to capitalize on what they see lacking.

    Let them do it, what's the worst that can happen, a bunch of foofie hotties buy bike stuff and makeup, never even ride their bikes or use the stuff..

    ..and it ends up on ebay or other site and we grab it up for pennies on the dollar.

    Besides, the world is a better place with "infernal" cable routing, it increases the service department's lead times and labor rates?

    ..or maybe that's just the businessman/socio-psychologist in me, I see opportunity in their eventual demise.
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  5. #5
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    I'd sign up for anything named "Longass Ride".

  6. #6
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    the guys at competitive cyclist seem very metrosexual. Them stocking this, doesn't surprise me.

  7. #7
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    But have you WORN Rapha bib-shorts? In the name of all that is holy, they're downright sinfully comfortable. In fact, I wear them all the time now...even when not on a bike!
    "Yeah, Humboldt County is way the %#@* up there, but worth it!"

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by jms
    ...complete with gourmet food at the rest stops ... .
    This part sounds nice, sign me up.
    The rest I can do without.

    On the perfume note, I was coming down third divide on Sat and the whole way down I could smell some bike's perfume. I remember thinking it was like following a stripper chick or old lady around the mall. That TriFlow has a pretty distinct odor... Maybe Ralpa will start making scented chain lube.
    Those who know, ride a Mojo AND a Mojo HD.
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    Quote Originally Posted by benja55
    Ok, whatever, cold water on my bike boner right there.

  9. #9
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    Biking is the new golf, so it needs even more overpriced stuff...

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-10965608

    - Booker C. Bense

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by jms
    Can the apocalypse be far behind? The day a cosmetics counter appears next to the display case for the latest and greatest drivetrain widgets and gizmos down at the bike shop, I'm quitting. Done. Packing it in. I'll announce it with one last embarrassingly loud and fragrant cloud of carbo-overloaded flatulence, and amble out of the shop. When I get home, I'm grabbing all my riding clothing and shoes, building a funeral pyre in the back yard, and dropping a match on it. When the smoke clears and the fire department leaves, I'll E-Bay the bikes. Donate the Cliff Bars and Cytomax to the food bank. I'll start smoking, drinking and frequenting Burger King. It's gonna be a sad day for me.

    Never happen? Laughing at me are you?

    Oh it's closer than you might think. Rapha and that lot are leading the "charge" toward more making cycling more "fashionable", the next golf. Oh please don't stain that free range, shade grown, virgin lycra $500 designer short and jersey ensemble with a layer of snot on the sleeves, and horse***** plastered up the back. Post ride, oh lets do pull on a pair of those 250 dollar Hincapie designer jeans, and monogrammed leather bomber jacket or merino wool hoodie.

    Longass rides are becoming "Gran Fondos" or "Gentlemen's Rides", complete with gourmet food at the rest stops no less, thanks to Rapha and their ilk. Whatever happened to groveling in to the convenience store at the end of a long day, grabbing a Snickers bar and a Coke or cup of coffee, and sprawling on the curb with a couple of your buddies and laughing through the highlights?

    And now the latest from those brutally stylish tools at Rapha:

    http://competitivecyclist.cmail3.com...4D01E12DB8921D

    I'm getting a coat hanger, a Hershey bar, marshmallows and making "Smores" out of my Powerbars.....
    I totally agree. I pre-ordered Adam Carolla's book "In 50 Years We'll all be Chicks"

    Maybe this is a result of people getting into cycling for "fitness" rather than passion? There are other sports that turned metro - bodybuilding in the 70's is a HELL of a lot different than bodybuilding of today.

  11. #11
    jms
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    Quote Originally Posted by motorbacon
    You sound like one of the old, grumpy, elitist cyclists that go to Slough's.
    Do you know some other place I can still get new Christophe toe clips and Alfredo Binda straps?
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  12. #12
    jms
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    Is That what You're Spending

    Quote Originally Posted by Bigfoot
    But have you WORN Rapha bib-shorts? In the name of all that is holy, they're downright sinfully comfortable. In fact, I wear them all the time now...even when not on a bike!
    Is that what you're spending my entry fees on these days? And wearing bibs off the bike around the house, aside from scaring the dog ......

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  13. #13
    wg
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    Am I the only one who looked up "Embrocation" to figure out WTF it is?
    Don't harsh my mello

  14. #14
    aka baycat
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    So you don't use Kiehl's products I take it?

  15. #15
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    Embrocation...?

    I may have spent my life too far in the back woods, but until 5 minutes ago I didn't even know what embrocation meant! And now I find that there's an Embrocation Cycling Team---where have I been!?!?

    I will give competetivecyclist dot com the credit for only having this Rapha stuff on their road bike site, not the MTB site.
    The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not represent any policy of the CA Dept. of Parks & Rec.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by wg
    Am I the only one who looked up "Embrocation" to figure out WTF it is?
    no. and I read the OED word of the day every day.

    _Booker C. Bense

  17. #17
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    "embrocation - Definition of embrocation at YourDictionary.com
    em·bro·ca·tion noun. the process of rubbing an oil, etc. on the body; a liquid used in this way"

    In the right context this doesnt sound so bad.

    For instance "After my Longass ride my stripper girlfried embrocated my body with warm oil"
    Originally Posted by XC62701
    Agreed...make it longer. I want to know death is an option

  18. #18
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    "Around the house." No, you misunderstood...I wear them ALL THE TIME. I tell you, if you want to have a grocery store aisle or elevator all to yourself.....



    Quote Originally Posted by jms
    Is that what you're spending my entry fees on these days? And wearing bibs off the bike around the house, aside from scaring the dog ......




    "Yeah, Humboldt County is way the %#@* up there, but worth it!"

  19. #19
    hilarious
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    Finally! I can smell victory!

  20. #20
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    I don't wanna know what embrocation is.

    Something that embodies your bros on a vacation?

  21. #21
    jms
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    One Important Thing

    Quote Originally Posted by grrrah
    I don't wanna know what embrocation is.
    There's just one important thing to remember:

    Don't confuse embrocation oils with chamois butter......

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  22. #22
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    I have no idea what embrocation is, nor do I want to go on one, but I wish Rapha's clothing was cheaper so I could afford some of it. At least it looks somewhat normal without some ridiculous pattern or some team kit with 12 colors/25 logos on it. Swobo's stuff isn't bad but they're not exactly cheap either.

    I will say the whole "Gentlemens Race" or whatever is a bit much. People take themselves way too seriously in life in general and I find that too be even more true in the cycling world.

  23. #23
    Obi
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    So now we've gone from talking about makeup and clothing to whether or not we'd let a cute lady rub some lotion or chamois butter on for us..whether or not it's scented?


    Maybe I'm just missing the point here?
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  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigfoot
    "Around the house." No, you misunderstood...I wear them ALL THE TIME. I tell you, if you want to have a grocery store aisle or elevator all to yourself.....
    HAHAHAHAHAHA
    "Originally Posted by iheartbicycles
    We should all kick each others asses to protect the environment.."

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