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  1. #701
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    Tank you for posting this. I enjoyed the humor .

  2. #702
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    Ckc

  3. #703
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    Great post. I hope most here agree

  4. #704
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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain Bucktooth View Post
    Applicable too more than biking and utterly awesome.
    "I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'" <---- now THAT is funny!
    Gravity ... is a harsh mistress

  5. #705
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    Lol

  6. #706
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    I must've learned competitiveness from my dog

    does anyone else here have the habit of "chasing" what ever biker passes you on a trail?
    Gravity ... is a harsh mistress

  7. #707
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    No, I'm just happy I haven't had a heart attack riding. Just started up and mainly hope my bike can handle my weight! (240 lbs)

  8. #708
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    Quote Originally Posted by cuenut View Post
    No, I'm just happy I haven't had a heart attack riding. Just started up and mainly hope my bike can handle my weight! (240 lbs)
    go slow brother
    Those gears are for maintaining a proper rpm. not for going balls out.
    Each day take it easy.
    The pounds will start to come off.
    If you're tired then rest.
    The object is to bike forever
    Gravity ... is a harsh mistress

  9. #709
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mousey View Post
    go slow brother
    Those gears are for maintaining a proper rpm. not for going balls out.
    Each day take it easy.
    The pounds will start to come off.
    If you're tired then rest.
    The object is to bike forever
    So there I was .... biked down to the salt creek trail 6 miles warmup.
    I'm lookin' good!! got a guy on a mtb chasing me and I passed a hybrid
    I'm not even huffing (yet)
    I get stopped by traffic at Mannheim Rd. and they catch up to me.
    Each of us taking sidelong glances at the other.
    The light changed to green and we bolted like LeMans.

    My chain came off and there i was free-pedaling around in 6 lanes of traffic :/
    "Pride cometh before the fall"
    Gravity ... is a harsh mistress

  10. #710
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    Excellent words of advice to keep riding. Thanks!

  11. #711
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    As a total noob it made me LOL, but also smile knowing that anyone who doesn't like my bike can f'off, and anyone who does can take it for a spin.

  12. #712
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    I finally got to use my helmet today!
    I slammed on the brakes and fell off the "back" of the bike!
    go figure :/
    Gravity ... is a harsh mistress

  13. #713
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    Thanks for the post, gave me a good laugh

  14. #714
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    bike and let bike, I like it

  15. #715
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    great post !!

  16. #716
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    Read and noted!

  17. #717
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    Very good information. I am in the market for my first mountain bike to start doing to trail riding.

  18. #718
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lost Biker View Post
    If your happy and know it...ride your bike!!
    I was happy and I knew it Till my bike broke

  19. #719
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    Thanks for the info.

  20. #720
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    Great stuff

  21. #721
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    wise tips!

  22. #722
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    Funny, but true.

  23. #723
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    Something that everyone needs to know.

  24. #724
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    This was a fun read if nothing else

  25. #725
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    thats awesome

  26. #726
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    Thanks for the read!

  27. #727
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    LOL. Good post

  28. #728
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    Made more sense than anything else today.

  29. #729
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    the was pretty awesome

  30. #730
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    nice

  31. #731
    A new old cyclist
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    This was a solid post, and my response to it is my Reply # 5. It is good to remind folks that the bike in your garage is the bike that's not being used.

    On the shooting forums, folks offer this advice: "Shoot more, post less. Talking about guns is not as fun as shooting them. You learn different lessons shooting than talking about shooting, but both can be productive. Wasting ammunition is not. Perfect your technique before you hit the field. Don't just practice safe gun handling, live a Safe Gun Lifestyle.

    Above all, be happy, kind to new folks, smile, and stay focused and alert."

  32. #732
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  33. #733
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    enjoyed that

  34. #734
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    Niiiice!!!!

  35. #735
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    Awesome!!!!!!

  36. #736
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    good one!

  37. #737
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    Reading this post from the mtbr sensei has helped me towards bike enlightenment

  38. #738
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    N00bs. Thanks! =)

  39. #739
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    Love it.

  40. #740
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    Thanks for the post.

  41. #741
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  42. #742
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    very helpfull

  43. #743
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    Great thread

  44. #744
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    I'm not a noob, but nice

  45. #745
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    Nice

  46. #746
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    Quote Originally Posted by vylanous View Post
    I enjoyed this. Why is it in the beginner forum? Everyone should read this

  47. #747
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    Lotta good points covered!

  48. #748
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    You answered all my question!

  49. #749
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    Actually really helpful even though it's a rant

  50. #750
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    Basically anything works as long as you're having fun...love it.

  51. #751
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    Love it!

  52. #752
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    I'm a 100% noob and was trying to get my "5" post mark to post a new thread asking what bike is best. But instead, I'll run to my local Trek shop, test out a few in my price range, then run to the Dicks Sporting Goods, try out a diamondback, then make my decision on what feels best to me (:

  53. #753
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    Classic! What a great and informational post. good read
    Bone stock 2012 Trek Cobia

  54. #754
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    first post!!

  55. #755
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    Very true. I'm getting back into biking after 15 years off, my bike is over 20 years old. Was the best money could buy at the time. No suspension, suspension hadn't been invented when I bought it! But I used to do downhill races on it, go up and down proper mountains. If it could do it then it can do it now.

  56. #756
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    Quote Originally Posted by binka View Post
    Very true. I'm getting back into biking after 15 years off, my bike is over 20 years old. Was the best money could buy at the time. No suspension, suspension hadn't been invented when I bought it! But I used to do downhill races on it, go up and down proper mountains. If it could do it then it can do it now.
    nope.
    there was suspension bikes back then just about that time or maybe earlier.
    remember that dual'shock at rear suspension bikes, like a motocross?
    super heavy.

  57. #757
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    A+ enjoyable Thanks

  58. #758
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    good to know stuff. thanks!

  59. #759
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    thanks very informative

  60. #760
    Very green
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    My friend that's been a longtime rider has a similar attitude to the original post. I hope that's the norm for the local riders, but I aim to find out either way.

  61. #761
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    If I knew how to post a thumbs up, I would

  62. #762
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    Can't argue with that brotha!!

  63. #763
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    Classic!

  64. #764
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    Not wanting to offend anyone, just posting so I can get to ten and put an image of my Trek 9900 that I want to sell in the classifieds....

  65. #765
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    Sorry, looked for a place to advertise my bike for sale. Need to post a few more times to add a photo.

  66. #766
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    post count

  67. #767
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    10/10 would read again

  68. #768
    Syb
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    As a member of a few different forums this is the first I've seen a post like this. Priceless. Oh yeah, noob here.
    Syb
    Enjoy the ride

  69. #769
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    That **** is hilarious, love the diplomacy!

  70. #770
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    Great post!

  71. #771
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    It's informative AND funny. I'm pretty new to this hobby and this post more or less summed up what I've been trying to discern after days of sifting through threads, trying to make sense of countless opinions.

  72. #772
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    I read this and it made me feel more dum

  73. #773
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    Good read. Glad I stopped in.
    Thanks.

  74. #774
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    Quote Originally Posted by next View Post
    I read this and it made me feel more dum
    Liekwise

  75. #775
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    I feel like learnt a bit.. and had a damn good giggle. thanks

  76. #776
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    hello everyone! I am gonna buy a new bike but I'm confused with two bikes' configuration. one is-

    "Frame: 26"x18" Alloy 6061, Fork: SUNTOUR SF 13-XCM-MLO, Handle/Stem: Zoom Alloy Black, Seat Post: Zoom Alloy Black, Head Set: Neco, BB Set: Neco, Grips: Soft Comfort, Saddle: Velo Plus Double Density, Pedal: Wellgo B087 Full Alloy, Chain wheel: SUNTOUR XCT-V2, Shifter: Shimano EF-50 21 Speed, Front Dera: Shimano M310, Rear Dera: Shimano M310, Freewheel: Shimano HG20, Chain: KMC Z51, Brakes: TREKTRO NOVELA DISC BRAKE, Hubs: KT Alloy Disc Hubs W/QR, Rims: ALEX EF 20 Double Wall Alloy, Tyre: KENDA K1047 26X2.1, Kick Stand: Stand Well Alloy"

    another one is-

    Frame: Alloy 6061 26
    Fork : Zoom Alloy Crown Steel Suspension
    Handlebar & Stem: Format Alloy
    Seat Post: Format Alloy
    Chainwheel & Crank: Prowhel 42/34/24T alloy Crank
    Shifter: Shimano EF40
    Front Derailleur: Shimano TY10
    Rear Derailleur: Shimano TX75
    Freewheel: Shimano TZ21
    Bakes: Ally disc brake
    Saddle: 6117
    Hubs: KT steel disc hub
    Rims: Format Double Wall Alloy
    Tyre: GW302 26*1.95

    can anyone please suggest me which one should I buy??? please do hurry because both of these are just one of each left.

  77. #777
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    tons of generic info, but still funny.

  78. #778
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    Great info for setting the tone of the forum!

  79. #779
    Jon Bailey
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    Hello, Jon, here, from Sacramento County, CA

    The thing I hate most about bicycles is being called an IDIOT by pedestrians and car drivers alike even when I am riding exactly according to rules and regulations.

  80. #780
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    Great post.

  81. #781
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    nice!

  82. #782
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    WOW! This was really great! I'll be sharing this with friends. Thanks!

  83. #783
    noob
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    anyone give me a newbie guide on adjusting my hydrolic brakes tighten,loosen etc...thanks

  84. #784
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    Enjoyed the post. That's a lot of good info in a short space.

  85. #785
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    got it

  86. #786
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    Nice!

  87. #787
    ITL
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    Thanks, funny stuff.

    First post on MTBR...need four more to start my own thread...and ask a ton of questions...and have lots of fun when I'm at wor and not doing what I should be doing...

  88. #788
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    I now feel better about it.

  89. #789
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    I love the opening post. Best "Noob read first" post I've ever seen.

  90. #790
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    hiyoooooo

  91. #791
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    Great Post! Something everyone should read no matter how or what you ride.

  92. #792
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    hah, love it

  93. #793
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    Whoever composed that first quote is a true poet!

    I agree with the whole thing.

    I'm just getting back into mtn biking after a long hiatus, (a decade at least!) and am trying to consume everything I can on the sport - which I note - has seen a great many changes!

    I just hope I can manage the trails once agin. I never was great, but was decent.

    The first ride I ever had off road I still remember, and the first thing I did was call my girlfriend and babber on about how much fun I had.... Scapes and all. I am hoping I can get it back.

  94. #794
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    First Post here...The Op is classic!! Noroflk, Va here vis Knoxville Tn. Im riding a 99 Yeti Lawwill DH-8 and LOVEIN IT!!!

  96. #796
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    I'm a noob :/

  97. #797
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    spot on

    yes yes yes

  98. #798
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    Thanks, that was really helpful!

  99. #799
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    I was a weekend rider in my late 20s, now getting back into it in my late 30's. Now learning that 29ers came to rule and now 650B is the up and coming next thing. I have an old entry level Trek and plan on riding it one season as I get into shape and figure out what I need for my next ride.

    So I was a Noob before and I guess I'm still a noob...

  100. #800
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    Hi, I'm from Russia. Just a dream to visit the Grand Canyon and take a ride on it (not down )

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