1. The most important thing about buying a new bike is to make sure it fits. The only way you'll know if the bike is right for you is to size up the bike and make sure that the bike's geometry matches your body's geometry. Ask questions and do some research.
mtn. biking 101
2. If possible, try to find a shop that will let you demo the bike on real dirt. Five minutes in a parking lot won't cut it. You wouldn't buy a car without a real world test drive, and a bike should be no different.
3. Don't belive the hype. Just because your favorite rider or best friend rides a certain bike, that doesn't mean that's the best one for you. Have an open mind and be realistic about your needs and ability.
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  1. #1
    Cow Clicker
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    Bad MTB Advice Cat

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    No, YOU don't understand. You're making an ass of yourself for all of eternity.

  2. #2
    mtbr member
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    Contact information: http://about.me/marpilli

  3. #3
    mtbr member
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    Rep for you, sir.

  4. #4
    Fat-tired Roadie
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    Hey! I like big tires! Although I guess mine don't have that chunky a tread pattern...

    "Don't buy upgrades; ride up grades." -Eddy Merckx

  5. #5
    FKA Malibu412
    Reputation: Glide the Clyde's Avatar
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    Nice PSA. This could rival Hucking Kitty.
    "I love the bike. It's my meditation. I think I'm bike-sexual." -Robin Williams

  6. #6
    banned
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    Good job with the BURNT ORANGE and yellow stripes.

  7. #7
    ride more
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    Nice

  8. #8
    mtbr member
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    Third one almost matches me perfectly... but I waited a year first. Oh well, upgrades are fun

  9. #9
    ******
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    Hahaha! Chock Full O' Win!
    Quote Originally Posted by Tone's View Post
    Id scrap the passion forum all together, its a breeding ground for unicorn milkers, rainbow chasers and candy cotton farters.

  10. #10
    Flow like water
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    Dear OP

    Dear OP,

    I just bought a $500 SandSlammer brand new from my LBS. I want to spend $1800 on parts, so it will equal the PebbleSlammer ($1000 bike). Whadda think?

    (signed)
    Impatient...

  11. #11
    Cow Clicker
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    Quote Originally Posted by DavyRay View Post
    Dear OP,

    I just bought a $500 SandSlammer brand new from my LBS. I want to spend $1800 on parts, so it will equal the PebbleSlammer ($1000 bike). Whadda think?

    (signed)
    Impatient...
    Dear Impatient:

    Below is a dissertation that took a lot of my time to put together. It outlines the pitfalls of spending a lot of money "customizing" your bike versus buying a bike designed to suit you. Since you already made up your mind about what you are going to do and you just posed your question to justify your decision, I have deleted my response. Go do whatever you want. Spend your money however you want. Unless you are racing, you are stroking your cock with a chamoise glove.
    No, YOU don't understand. You're making an ass of yourself for all of eternity.

  12. #12
    Picture Unrelated
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    Love it.
    Don't you hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus?

  13. #13
    FloridaKeys Fishing Guide
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    This could get really good. Where is my popcorn dangit....
    Current ride(s) 2011 Santa Cruz Blur LT

  14. #14
    Cow Clicker
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    -Bill in Houston
    No, YOU don't understand. You're making an ass of yourself for all of eternity.

  15. #15
    Cow Clicker
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    Pm me your bad advice and I'll post a Bad MTB Advice Cat meme.
    No, YOU don't understand. You're making an ass of yourself for all of eternity.

  16. #16
    Cow Clicker
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    -Marpilli
    No, YOU don't understand. You're making an ass of yourself for all of eternity.

  17. #17
    Cow Clicker
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    -Katz
    No, YOU don't understand. You're making an ass of yourself for all of eternity.

  18. #18
    Wēk Ss
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    Katz is the best!

  19. #19
    gran jefe
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    love it!

  20. #20
    Trail Prospector
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    Dear BAC [Bad Advice Cat],
    Seems I've made all of the above mistakes, and spent $$$$ on upgrades
    to my Jeep-branded MTB, since the salesman told me that it's one of the best!



    Almost X-mas, need to buy a few more gifts, and must sell her to pay the CC bill.
    So..... I'm wondering if it's a vintage / retro / classic,
    and what a customized one like this - is worth?
    BAC wisdom needed to save X-mas.
    The best is the one you want to ride most often..

  21. #21
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    You should put it on CL as a "Racing Mountain Bike." DO NOT mention anything that is wrong with it. What a potential buyer noob doesn't know, won't hurt them (until it actually hurts them). Add up everything you've spent on upgrades over the years and list it for that amount. Do not budge on price.
    Last edited by wmac; 12-11-2012 at 08:59 PM.
    No, YOU don't understand. You're making an ass of yourself for all of eternity.

  22. #22
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    Dear B.A.C.,

    I fall down whenever my bike hits a rock. Do I need new tires?

    When I fall down, I leave the bike and bounce down the trail. Should I get clipless pedals to prevent this?

    One last thing: My poker buddies tell me I should bet heavily until the end of a hand, then fold. Does this sound right?

    Thanks in advance,
    gasp
    Use it, use it, use it while you still have it.

  23. #23
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    Dear Gasp: Spending money on new parts always makes up for lack of riding ability. Yes, buy new tires and pump them up to 50 psi. It's faster that way. Also, definitely buy clip less pedals. It is so much faster. Lastly, your friends are mostly right - always bet heavy, regardless of your hand but ALWAYS go all in on the river.
    No, YOU don't understand. You're making an ass of yourself for all of eternity.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by wmac View Post
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    -Katz
    Nothing wrong with this advise. Do you expect me to just HIT the poor fool?

  25. #25
    beater
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    I must spread reputation around before giving it to wmac again.

    So awesome. This thread has epic potential written all over it. In for the win. Sticky!
    "Back off, man. I'm a scientist." - Dr. Peter Venkman

    Riding in Helena? Everything you need to know, right here.

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