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  1. #1
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    Any ideas on how to get my wife to ride with me

    Anyone here rides with wife???? What's a good way to start riding with her?? I just bought her a bike (hardtail), any input..

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  2. #2
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    Tell her it's a do together(Work out? May work) thing. She may not want to go off road, don't push her.
    There....Are... Four...Lights!

  3. #3
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    tell her she looks good on the bike!

    its a start....

  4. #4
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    Depends on the relationship. I ride with the wife often, I'm 51, she is 49. Been together since 1977. We ride on quests. We both are stoners, so we ride to our destination, smoke, drink something, feel each other up (no sex on the trail though...) and ride back. There has to be more than just riding to get the
    girls to ride sometimes. We ride about 10-12 miles with some as long as 25. Yea, paths and easy trails but thats all good. Some relationships are for convenience only, status, money, etc with no real connection with each other. If thats the case, good luck.

    Edit..Rootar is correct, very important.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1niceride View Post
    Depends on the relationship. I ride with the wife often, I'm 51, she is 49. Been together since 1977. We ride on quests. We both are stoners, so we ride to our destination, smoke, drink something, feel each other up (no sex on the trail though...) and ride back. There has to be more than just riding to get the
    girls to ride sometimes. We ride about 10-12 miles with some as long as 25. Yea, paths and easy trails but thats all good. Some relationships are for convenience only, status, money, etc with no real connection with each other. If thats the case, good luck.

    Edit..Rootar is correct, very important.
    There....Are... Four...Lights!

  6. #6
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    Did she ask for the bike and has she ever expressed an interest in riding with you? No and no?

    Give it up!
    It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1niceride View Post
    Depends on the relationship. I ride with the wife often, I'm 51, she is 49. Been together since 1977. We ride on quests. We both are stoners, so we ride to our destination, smoke, drink something, feel each other up (no sex on the trail though...) and ride back. There has to be more than just riding to get the
    girls to ride sometimes. We ride about 10-12 miles with some as long as 25. Yea, paths and easy trails but thats all good. Some relationships are for convenience only, status, money, etc with no real connection with each other. If thats the case, good luck.

    Edit..Rootar is correct, very important.
    Nice...Aint nothing like hitting a light casual trail alittle buzzed .....Wished my gf smoked though but aint nothin wrong with a little wine

  8. #8
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    Be patient. Don't rush her into riding off drops and through rock gardens and such. Go for some rides around the neighborhood with her and when she gets comfortable on the bike take her out on some smooth single track. I'm going through this right now. It's slow going because her confidence on a bike is pretty lacking and I don't want to scare her into not wanting to ride. I have to keep reminding myself that the stuff we're riding may be retardedly easy for me but it's scary and new to her.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbles
    That depends. Can you go fvck yourself?

  9. #9
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    Start with really easy riding. Like, MUP easy. Don't push it. Riding with girlfriends (or wives) seems to work best if it's a recovery day. If possible, ride somewhere that has some other enjoyable aspects - like it's pretty, or something along those lines. If she has some outside relationships with people who ride, awesome. Get well out of the way.

    Really, the best anyone can do to try to get someone else to ride is to eliminate as many barriers as possible. So, also make sure the bike is in good mechanical shape, and that it's set up to be comfortable for her, whatever that means. Don't badger her about it.

    This story was meant mostly seriously, I think. The comments are well worth a look.

    http://www.bowcycle.com/bikes/blogs/...ride-with-you/

    Ironically, I picked up mountain biking again because I was looking for something to do with the girl I was seeing at the time, and she was really annoying to ride with on the road. Mountain biking with her wasn't much better and the relationship was ultimately stupid, but I still have the bike.
    "Don't buy upgrades; ride up grades." -Eddy Merckx

  10. #10
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    Thanks for all this good info, now I have a good starting point. Also a few laughs reading the comments...I've been trying to get her to ride, one day she agreed so we bought a specialized hardrail to start with. But the bike been sitting there for Almost a year, I scared her off one day I got home from DH ride with a few marks ..LOL

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  11. #11
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    Riding next to her and talking to her might help. Tell her you "like" riding with her, and she will want to go every day.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by ghettocop View Post
    Riding next to her and talking to her might help. Tell her you "like" riding with her, and she will want to go every day.
    Or, you could smoke a bowl first, loosen her up with some feel up. Seems to work for 1niceride and sounds kinda fun.
    Sometimes, you need to go fast enough that the trail is a blur to find clarity. -- Wild Bill

  13. #13
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    First I have to say, HA HA HA, some of you guys crack me up

    Then, my wife does alot to please me. I know she doesn't have any desire to get winded, tired, or sweaty. At least as far as cycling, lol. So I just stopped trying because I know she doesn't like it. Thought it might be nice thing to do together and if I was more selfish about it I'm sure she would, and she has. She doesn't try to make me watch soap operas so ....what's fair is fair. You just can't tell somebody what to want. She will sometimes "want to" if my little girl comes because she enjoys watching her learn and have fun. That's more than enough to make me happy.
    Round and round we go

  14. #14
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    This is my first post. I wanted to say hi first, but this thread caught my eye since my husband rides a bit more than I. My answer to this is don't push. Don't be bossy.....be understanding.....and above all, be cool. We deal with things on different timelines so if you get frustrated, give us a few because getting worked up about something won't make me feel any better about riding.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by nieves53 View Post
    Anyone here rides with wife???? What's a good way to start riding with her?? I just bought her a bike (hardtail), any input...
    Don't try too hard. Take her out for some easy rides. See whether she like riding. She might not. If she doesn't, then don't push it.

    My wife doesn't like to ride, and we are at peace with that. She lets me ride and do all the bike stuff I want. She's got her own pursuits to keep her busy. I don't try to get her on a bike. She doesn't try to get me on a sewing machine. Life is good.

  16. #16
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    I have tried for years to get my wife into riding and she has zero interest in it. I think riding with her against her interest will be boring and cumbersome for both of us, so it's best not to bug her about it. find another activity to do together.

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    Quote Originally Posted by elleleeanya View Post
    This is my first post. I wanted to say hi first, but this thread caught my eye since my husband rides a bit more than I. My answer to this is don't push. Don't be bossy.....be understanding.....and above all, be cool. We deal with things on different timelines so if you get frustrated, give us a few because getting worked up about something won't make me feel any better about riding.
    I second that!!

    My wife resisted at first, but after riding in the neighborhoods and duel purpose trails for about a month to build up some endurance. We went on our first trail a couple months ago and she was hooked, she even went clipless!!

    Best thing to do is to try to get her on the bike and ride, make sure her fit is good and that she is comfortable while riding. This part was key for my wife, once she was comfortable she took off.

    Good Luck!

  18. #18
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    Put her on your handlebars like you did back in the day bonus she will soften any impacts from a crash

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    Down the road you can always get a tandem, then you're doing it together.

  20. #20
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    Interesting, I went through the same thing. My wife started enjoying riding because it helped her loose 25lbs and is now building tone. She is getting into it to levels I did not think were possible. Our little guy loves it as well so it made it easy for her. Our older girls, well let's say if the boy friends can go, they are good with it. The benefits are really good to the relationship...but, be careful what you wish for!

  21. #21
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    Take the seat off

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    Quote Originally Posted by ace2325 View Post
    Take the seat off
    Nice! I am working to get my wife to ride also. We will see what happens.

  23. #23
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    Speaking from the g/f point of view... I was VERY leery of starting to ride, I'm still not fearless like HE is, but we started out riding around our hometown, (less than ten miles per round trip) then advancing to riding to my favorite coffee place (about 15 miles round trip) Then throwing in VERY beginner trails, and now I can't wait to go out and ride! We're about to leave for a Yellowstone camping/biking trip - so it does work out sometimes. I have to remember I'm not up to his skill level, and I have to accept that there are times I'm going to fall off my bike!! I have no regrets joining him on this hobby now though!

  24. #24
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    Take the bikes out for a ride to the movies or to dinner first. If that goes well, do it again maybe to a location a bit farther away. I was a ski instructor for many years teaching beginners on a mountain that scares most people who call themselves intermediate skiers so I learned a lot about teaching people an unfamiliar activity in a way that will help them succeed. Work up to your goal slowly. PrincessRachel's experience is exactly what I would suggest, a few short rides around town to get comfortable with being on a bike at all followed by a gradual increase of biking activities.

    I will caution that you need to overestimate every trail that you consider "beginner". I will caution you because I blew it teaching my wife to mountain bike. A small overestimation on my part led to my wife being too scared to ride a mountain bike for about 2 years after she crashed on a switchback. Because she's the toughest person I know she eventually picked it back up at her request and now she's out absolutely slaying the trails. You can't be too cautious, if the trail you chooses is too easy the response will be "well that was easy" but if the trail is too hard it will probably derail your attempt at getting her riding for good.

    In our second season of riding together I've gotten her riding long rides, technical rides including some nasty stuff in Moab, and we just made our first trip to the local bike skills park including the jump line. Next it's off to try some lift served DH, I think I've unleashed a monster (a sexy, bike riding monster)!
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  25. #25
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    be very careful, my wife feels like she is holding me back the whole time and hates that part, DO NOT SHOW OFF, she might feel like is holding you back. Take it slow, talk while riding. She may not want to ride fast or aggressive, or she may not have the confidence to yet, if you've been riding a long time, and she never has, your skills are VERY much superior, try not to let it show. Let her know that getting off the bike is perfectly fine, get off with her if she cant do a climb. remember that everyone rides different, you developed your style over years, you got to decide what trails you like best, have the respect to give her that time and choice as well. listen to what she says, coach her on some skills if you can, but DO NOT if you cant. and go by her as far as how much she wants to do it. you'd hate to have her decide when you rode, give her the respect to choose.

  26. #26
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    My wife has been getting antsy recently, I'm 29 shes 25. Work is very stressful and I tell her exercise is key to stop being a giant stress ball.

    Well she liked the idea and we went and bought her a bike from Target. Its a Schwinn Ranger and its built pretty damn good. Suntour tunable fork. Shimano Tourney derails. Best part, it was a 199 bike we got for 89 bucks out the door due to mismark. It works really good and rides very well, shifts are crisp and it fits her. We have a great crushed rock 4 mile trail near us and I remember our first ride, she struggled and it was hard due to her lack of shifting into proper gears/ general fitness level. Shes skinny but no muscle tone.

    Long story short (somewhat) She slept like a bear and had the best nights sleep in a long time, and remarked about how she just felt great. She's now hooked and wants to go just about every other day.

  27. #27
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    I was very lucky, a friend and I got our wives started at the same time so that helped.

    One of the best things we did is stop at common obstacles in the trail and let them practice. We would stand on either side so we could catch them it they fell. Yes it slowed down our initial rides, but in a few months they were doing really well.

    Just take your time with her and help her learn to ride properly.

    The best monument came at a section of trail that had for large log piles in a row somewhat close together. The piles were 3-4ft high, built up on both side. There was a group of guys sitting there sizing it up, My friend and went through and saw them watching, then after ours wives cleared I heard a " If those girls can do it, we can" brought a smile to my face.
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  28. #28
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    A few tips (from someone that has introduced a lot of women to riding as a guide, as well as my wife):

    - Don't treat it like a ride, treat it as quality time spent with her.
    - If she rarely rides bikes, even on the street, start with street riding first.
    - Make the ride about something else - head for a picnic spot, another way to go to her favorite cafe (as another poster said), show her something she hasn't seen before. Have a goal.
    - Bring food and water. Unless she is athletic, she won't realize she needs to eat to keep going.
    - Be HONEST about distances and elevations. Don't keep saying "just a bit farther, just a bit more" and then have another hill around the corner. You don't want to be 2 hills and 10 miles from home with a demoralized woman.
    - Women get pretty excited about "cute" accessories - my wife was crazy about the "cute" blue helmet I bought her, and some girlie gloves. Little stuff like that can motivate.
    - Instruction....can WAIT. a) you should not be on a trail that needs instruction for a while and b) you will probably suck at coaching. I suggest she get coaching on a group ride with other girls, rather than from you, unless you have some experience in this area.

    And lastly, prepare for disappointment. Don't get mad if she doesn't like it. Not her fault you bought her a bike before she even tried the sport. Generally speaking, I see it as kind of a bad sign that you did that - next time, let her ask for a bike, and let her choose it.

  29. #29
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    We did one trail ride and she hated it, but it was my mistake as I gave her my bike with flat pedals, and on the first road she lost her footing and got a pin in the shin. I convinced her to get a road bike so we could ride together somewhere. Now that's she comfortable on that bike, she looks at some of the hiking trails we go on and says, "I could probably ride this."

    So, it's a start. Definitely get her started on double track though, especially if you've been riding for a while. I often forget all the skills I've picked up after riding in the woods for 20 years (including losing the fear of crashing) that most people don't have.

  30. #30
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    Maybe try riding around town and then move up to trails later when she is more comfortable.

  31. #31
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    Riding around the neighborhood last night I tried "I really like biking with you." She smiled big for that one. This might actually be working. Oh, and my wife laughed most of the time I was riding around trying to impress her like we were 15 again. Were over 40 now and she's convinced I'm never going to grow up.

  32. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dichotomous View Post
    be very careful, my wife feels like she is holding me back the whole time and hates that part, DO NOT SHOW OFF, she might feel like is holding you back. Take it slow, talk while riding.
    This is very true, anytime I ride with my wife she comments about how slow she is going, knows I could go faster etc. I have to remind her that it is actually enjoyable simply getting to ride with her company, and that I don't care how slow we are going.

  33. #33
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    Hi this is my first post but I read these forums allot. It is hard to get your partner interested in a physical hobby you are passonite about because like previous posters mentioned they get discouraged by comparing ther ability to you and if anything like my ex worry that you aren't having fun because they atleast have an idea of what you are capable of. It is also pretty easy well exetremly easy to get to excited that they enjoyed there first ride and you take em somewhere that will be to advanced. That last one is the mistake I made trying to get my ex to hike and camp with me, long story short she broke her ankle and refused to ever go out hiking again. Note it wasn't a hard trail she just lost her footing and landed wrong but I had to carry her a mile down hill.

  34. #34
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    Taking her biking and then treat her to chocolate afterwards. Let her know that as long as she keeps biking, her chocolate is "free" calorie-wise...

  35. #35
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    People are different and take different motivators. There are some good ideas in this thread but overall this one hits the mark real well.
    Quote Originally Posted by simian23 View Post
    A few tips (from someone that has introduced a lot of women to riding as a guide, as well as my wife):

    - Don't treat it like a ride, treat it as quality time spent with her.
    - If she rarely rides bikes, even on the street, start with street riding first.
    - Make the ride about something else - head for a picnic spot, another way to go to her favorite cafe (as another poster said), show her something she hasn't seen before. Have a goal.
    - Bring food and water. Unless she is athletic, she won't realize she needs to eat to keep going.
    - Be HONEST about distances and elevations. Don't keep saying "just a bit farther, just a bit more" and then have another hill around the corner. You don't want to be 2 hills and 10 miles from home with a demoralized woman.
    - Women get pretty excited about "cute" accessories - my wife was crazy about the "cute" blue helmet I bought her, and some girlie gloves. Little stuff like that can motivate.
    - Instruction....can WAIT. a) you should not be on a trail that needs instruction for a while and b) you will probably suck at coaching. I suggest she get coaching on a group ride with other girls, rather than from you, unless you have some experience in this area.

    And lastly, prepare for disappointment. Don't get mad if she doesn't like it. Not her fault you bought her a bike before she even tried the sport. Generally speaking, I see it as kind of a bad sign that you did that - next time, let her ask for a bike, and let her choose it.
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  36. #36
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    Just take off her seat and leave the post...yes I know that was bad.

  37. #37
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    We started the MB venture together about 3 weeks ago. Did some easy paved trails to get her used to a bike again after some 15-20 years for her, 10 for me. Then we tried a simple beginner course, she liked it, then she crashed on another beginner course and it scared her away from the trails for the time being. Now we just do the simple paved trails at a local state park as well as riding around town. Some nice scenic river rides in my area. She likes that and wants to do those types of rides everyday. Boring as hell for me. But I have people I can ride trails with, even though I fall behind, or I can just do em on my own, no big deal. So I do that to get my fix, and do the road thing with her so we're still biking together and she builds her confidence on the bike. She says eventually she wants to do the trails again, because they are fun. But her first flight over the handlebars was a bit much for her. I'll just let it run its course. When she's ready to go again, she'll let me know!

  38. #38
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    Some great suggestions. The most important thing is making sure your SO has an interest in riding and then taking the time to allow them to become comfortable on the bike/tackling trails. It's a great change to get out and spend time together while also keeping fit. Good luck!

  39. #39
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    If it's not really 'in her blood', the only thing that will keep her riding is if she enjoys it whatever 'enjoy' means to her. For some, falling once in a while isn't going to scare them off. For others, one face full of dirt and they are DONE and the funny thing is that you never really know for certain who is what until it happens.

    That said, I would tread carefully at least until she is good and hooked. If she doesn't take to it, you'll just have to accept that because you cannot make her like it. That might mean starting out with many easy fire road type rides with lots of breaks and a very casual pace.

    This is important, so read it as many times as it takes to understand it: Go easy on the instructions, but let her know you'll help if she asks. She may be more receptive to receiving 'help' from others. From you, she may view it as you telling her what to do and it could take the fun out of the ride for her. She might prefer to just hang back and make her own mistakes by herself, or she might just want you to be there silently, or only offering occasional encouragement. You'll have to feel your way through this. Don't ask 'why', just accept that this is the way things work for a great many couples where one is trying to get the other into the sport.

    Good post from Simian23 too

  40. #40
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    For me I told her it would be a good way to spend time together while we both get in shape so it's a plus plus! Also made sure she got a good bike to make riding more enjoyable. She hated it the first week but after she got used to it she fell in love and now we travel to different states for mtb trips . Fight the good fight!

  41. #41
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    My girlfriend and I went mountain biking together for the first time yesterday.

    It was not as well planned out as I advocate others try to do. We started riding a little bit around my house about six months ago. She already knew how to ride a bike, just hadn't been on one in several years. I refit my 'cross bike so it would fit her at least okay - it was still a bit big with a short, high-angled stem, but it wasn't going to get any closer. At least she's my height... Then we brought her hybrid, bought years ago and ditched at her mother's house, down from her mother's city and we did a couple rides with her on that and me on my MTB on a flat, paved MUP and progressed as far as being able to get to and from that trail via a route that sneaks around the two major climbs that someone would otherwise have to do to get to my house. She wanted to ride her bike not in front of me, so we dropped it at her house, and that actually killed the project for a while. She lived on top of another big hill, with steep streets all around, so riding in her neighborhood is an intimidating and somewhat dangerous proposition.

    She's finished her degree, and moved home for now. That puts her, and her bike, on some much mellower streets. So she's been riding on those, on her own, and come to a detente with the shifting on her bike. So she's much more comfortable. A couple weeks ago, we, her mother, and her mother's boyfriend did an hour-long ride on roads and soft-surface MUPs. I felt like a total dork with my XC bike - next to theirs, it's very low, very high-tech and very flashy. Oh well.

    So this time, we were going to do a loop around a lake that also has some trails I've raced on several times. I'd planned for us to just do the lake loops itself, which follows the shoreline, and has no vertical and no technical sections. But an evil plan was starting to form in my mind about doing the beginner course.

    When we got to the point where we should have turned around to stay on the lake loop, she kept going ahead (she was in front) onto the race course. I asked her if she knew where she was, and she was sure she wanted to, and she pressed on. So I said we'd walk some portions, and if she wanted to turn around, she should say so. She's come to see me race here three times, and walked good chunks of the course once, and since it fed into my evil plan, I wanted to see where this went a little.

    We got as far as the Y-intersection between the beginner and expert courses with only a few dismounts. The expert course basically adds a stiff climb and switchback descent to the beginner course, and then the two rejoin. Ironically, the trail sections I see as most technical are on trail shared by both courses. We got as far as where the beginner and expert courses rejoin, on a descent, with again just a couple of dismounts. I was pretty proud of her, actually - she's still on her hybrid, with 40mm slicks, and it's a part of the season that makes this trail pretty loose. Even if it doesn't have real vert or technical sections until the loops rejoin, it's not easy to maintain traction with the wrong tires.

    We ended up walking a good chunk of the back section of the course. That section is pretty steep, pretty loose, and has switchbacks and a now-covered creek crossing, there are some ledges to drop off, there's a turning gravel descent, there are two short, technical climbs, there's another switchback and more drops, and then finally the gentle descent to where the race enters and exits the loop. But there were no falls or tears and there was no blood. She's even still curious enough about mountain biking that if I can find an easier place to ride, she'll try it again. The next step is to sneakily figure out how big a tire I can fit on her bike, to make it easier next time. I think that's as far as I want to go with making her hybrid more "mountain" - it'll make a big difference and be cheap; anything else will make a much smaller difference and be expensive. I might also get her on my bike, and ride my 'cross bike, on some trails near me. Need to get some flat pedals back...

    So I'm calling it a win.
    "Don't buy upgrades; ride up grades." -Eddy Merckx

  42. #42
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    My husband got me into MTB by buying a bike. Not for me, for him. We were both roadies, and no way was he gonna get a head start on a new sport without me!

    As it turns out, I like the MTB more than he does, but we still ride together 2 or 3 times a week, road or trail.

    I'd say start at the easiest section of trail you have access to. Success on the first few rides is important. Can give her some heads up for things, but don't make it seem like it is really complicated. If it's so technical that you have to warn her with more than a few words, it's probably not the right section of trail to start her out on.

    If there are a few sections she has to walk, that's OK. Let her know that that is perfectly normal for a new rider (and some not-so-new riders)! Walk it with her.

    20 min into the ride, ask HER what she thinks. Get feedback. If she thinks it's great, then do more of the same! If she says she thinks she's got the hang of it, and there are some trails just a little bit harder, go see how she feels on those. If she seems tired and frustrated, slow it down.

    If there are any all female MTB groups in your area, HOOK HER UP! I like riding with my husband, but I rarely miss an all-female group ride. I'm lucky to have a women's MTB group in town. That's where I learn my skills, from the ladies who are better than I am. To be honest, many of them are better than my husband! And we talk. Cause girls talk. And that social reinforcement can be enough to keep someone coming back until the joy of the ride itself is all that is needed to want to get out and ride.

    Lastly, and this is the psychology major in me coming out, include a reward. Evil, I know. But you know, when you want someone to voluntarily repeat behavior, rewards work. A bike-friendly treat at the half-way point. Nice cold drinks in the cooler back at the car. Reinforce the joy!

  43. #43
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    Get a trailer and pull her azz

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