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  1. #1
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    New PMP time trial course, "Too Stupid to Live"

    Been screwing around a lot out at PMP lately on my new Canfield Yelli Screamy. Came up with the longest, most "all-inclusive" of the time trials to date.

    Too Stupid to Live has some smooth climbing, some technical climbing, some more climbing and some hike-a-bike. Then it has some oh-shite technical downill ripping, some smoother descents, some flow. It's a nice tight package of some of the best stuff PMP offers.

    Directions:

    From the Dreamy Draw parking lot, head southeast out of the lot and pick up T100. Climb up to the 1A junction with Irregular Link. Climb up Irregular until it tops out and drops down toward Hairball.

    From there, take the hard left onto 302/Upper Hairball. Ride as much as you can and then HAB up to the very top of the saddle where the two benches are.

    At the benches, get your gear on and drop down Upper Cheesegrater. Upper Cheese terminates at the VOAZ junction. There, take the left turn and climb up to the top of VOAZ. Then rip down VOAZ to the 1A connection. From there, turn left (west), descend down 1A, cross over 100 and climb up the gradual ascent on the backside of the 220 loops. At the top, descend the 220 Chutes all the way back to T100. Then take a right on T100 back down to the Dreamy Draw lot.

    Time starts when you leave the blacktop of Dreamy Draw and ends when you hit the parking lot blacktop.

    Hopefully, that makes sense. I don't typically map stuff digitally, but I'm pretty sure Grave9 has a digital file he can upload here.

    Our times so far have ranged between 74 and 86 minutes total, which some of you studs should have no trouble topping.

    Enjoy.

  2. #2
    Ahhh the pain....
    Reputation: Raybum's Avatar
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    blatant...you have a gpx file for that? for the strava infected, we'll have to make it an official segment...
    What's the time bonus for doing it on a SS? lol....
    Your limits are both physical and mental. Suffering will help you find and overcome both.
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  3. #3
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    As I said, I don't have any files, but I know Drew does. I just texted him to add a data file to this thread.

    As for SS, God love you, bro ...

  4. #4
    Shred...it's the new drug
    Reputation: latedropbob's Avatar
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    Can You post a map? That'd be awesome..Thanx!

  5. #5
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    Yeah....

    That's got bad news written all over it.

  6. #6
    Break it, Fix it, Ride it
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    Planning on riding PMP on Sunday evening. I'll roll this route and put up the deets if it's not up by then. Although I think starting at the Love Tunnel and climbing up to the top of IL is a better start. Love that climb! Plus, you'd get a sweet downhill run to the finish. I've never been on Hairball or Upper Cheese. Should be fun.
    Today's the day I eat bikes.

  7. #7
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    Drew does have a file that's he's going to upload. To be clear, Dag, you never ride Hairball proper on this particular route. Where Irregular dumps down onto Hairball, you take the 180 left onto Upper Hairball, which is about half HAB for mere mortals. Upper Cheese is awesome, but take it easy the first time. Lots of spots to get seriously injured.

  8. #8
    parenting for gnarness
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blatant View Post
    Drew does have a file that's he's going to upload. To be clear, Dag, you never ride Hairball proper on this particular route. Where Irregular dumps down onto Hairball, you take the 180 left onto Upper Hairball, which is about half HAB for mere mortals. Upper Cheese is awesome, but take it easy the first time. Lots of spots to get seriously injured.
    Upper Cheese is very burly. go to fast you will endo for sure.

  9. #9
    bland
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    Quote Originally Posted by chollaball View Post
    Upper Cheese is very burly. go to fast you will endo for sure.
    Sounds tasty.

  10. #10
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    I've never been to PMP, going to take a crack at this Sunday afternoon on the Paradox.

  11. #11
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    Cool. Hopefully Drew will get that data file uploaded today to help out.

  12. #12
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    This is a brutal but exceptionally fun route (says the guy that dropped Blatant's time from 74 to 86 minutes). If we could work in Hairball it'd be the Whole PMPChilada...

  13. #13
    PMP,TAN,LAUNDRY
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    Quote Originally Posted by eazy_e View Post
    yeah....

    That's got bad news written all over it.
    Hahaha
    Bender to AZDog: I'm not the best person to give advice on not riding!

  14. #14
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    Just got home, very interesting route. Did the route, with a few backtracks as I had no idea where I was going, but I made a point to not take any breaks any where near anything that could be considered a "gulch". Irregular was a tough little climb, climbed Hairball up to the chute/left turn right below the steps, HAB from there, Cheesegrater was "uncomfortable", VOAZ was a lot of fun, had a close encounter with a rattle snake but I was moving to fast to stop, Chutes was a lot of fun, ripped back to the truck, 83 min 39 sec. Saved my GPS data, then rode right back up T100, did Chutes again, up Irregular again, little tougher this time, down Hairball instead of up, that was interesting, jumped on Mine/1A and looped back around to the TH. Only 9ish miles, almost 2000 ft of climbing, I felt good (except for the Cheese drop).

  15. #15
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    Good job, dude. I thought Upper Cheese was a blast on my Yelli. Actually, everything seems to be a blast on this bike.

    The actual listed TT is only about 3.8 miles, but it's a tough go.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blatant View Post
    Good job, dude. I thought Upper Cheese was a blast on my Yelli. Actually, everything seems to be a blast on this bike.

    The actual listed TT is only about 3.8 miles, but it's a tough go.
    My actual TT was 4.2 miles, I took a couple of wrong turns. The rest of my 9 miles was me galivanting around the park. Cheese was OK, but it's a bit out of the realm that I normally ride in, there was maybe 3 spots that I chickened out and walked and the rest was white knuckled, with practice I could like it. I liked the climb up Irregular, both times, I would enjoy coming down it. Chutes was much fun, I'm not much of a jumper and I'm not crazy about some drops, but I nailed everything on that little run, I'd have immediately done it again but I wanted to finish out the TT first. All in all it was a fun and enjoyable ride, I'll get up there again. Thanks for the suggestion.

    BTW, never once did I think that my Paradox was the wrong tool for the job. I like it as much as you like your Yelli, it's my go to ride.

  17. #17
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    Glad you had fun. Once you've been down Upper Cheese a couple times, you can relax enough to make it more enjoyable. Kinda like Drew's metamorphosis at the Gulch.

  18. #18
    Break it, Fix it, Ride it
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    It has now been Stravatized.


    And Garminized.


    It has Hab up AND down! Nice. Never made it to 320 before. I always look at it from Irregular and think, meh, down Irregular. The motivation was nice to get over and check it out. I knew Upper Cheese was a nasty bit of trail too. Nice to finally see it....and ride some of it.I got some snaps while making the rounds. Here's the hab up 320. I rode about 2.3% of that.


    I was also out testing my new chain guide. My jump stop hasn't been doing sqaut, letting the chain off even if I sneeze so something had to be done, but it sure the hell wasn't to drop 50 large on a chain guide. So I spent 73 cents at Ace, flipped the jump stop around and used it as a base for the new guide materials. Worked great! only one dropped chain, and that was from popping down upper cheese. Blasting VOAZ, 1a, Chutes, T100 - no drops. I'm officially ecstatic.




    Who's gonna ride this? It was a decent upper body workout.


    Cheese proceeded to get the nasty on. I made it just though the second switchback before I was off the bike for the first time.


    I did make this sequence though. Not bad for first time seeing it! I got a little pucker on!


    I was on and off a few more times.I just pictured those huge rocks splitting my skull in two if I got off onto the wrong line. There were definitely some tough lines, but I can see it all as rideable. After a little climb up VOAZ, it was bombing back to T100 start. First time down VOAZ. I like it that way too. Fun loop. It's the kind I need to get one up on RJ. He hates the hab and I might have him on the tech. Thanks for posting Get some!
    Today's the day I eat bikes.

  19. #19
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    Alright, 2nd place, woohoo!!! I could feel the badass coursing through my veins during the whole ride.

    You know, the grind up Irregular was kind of enjoyable, both times, a nice work out.

  20. #20
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    Dang, that's a great time, man. Excellent work. You clearly are a really strong climber.

  21. #21
    Break it, Fix it, Ride it
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blatant View Post
    Dang, that's a great time, man. Excellent work. You clearly are a really strong climber.
    Thanks. To be fair, my time started and stopped at the bike path/T100 junction, and not the blacktop, so I'm still missing a few minutes there. With a few less pics, I think I could go sub 45 minutes. I sure would like to hit Upper Cheese again.
    Today's the day I eat bikes.

  22. #22
    Ahhh the pain....
    Reputation: Raybum's Avatar
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    DN, the chainguide solution is awesome...cheap, functional and adjustable! Necessity is the mother of all invention!
    Your limits are both physical and mental. Suffering will help you find and overcome both.
    http://onegear-ray.blogspot.com/

  23. #23
    Break it, Fix it, Ride it
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raybum View Post
    DN, the chainguide solution is awesome...cheap, functional and adjustable! Necessity is the mother of all invention!
    Thanks. Following you down the AZT last weekend I probably had at least 6 drops, really taking some of the fun out of keeping up with you. We were killing it near the top, then it was drop central near the bottom. That's when I knew I had to do something. It only had been getting worse for some reason. Now I don't have to nanny the chain anymore! Time to rail it! Can't beat the savings either- that might be my favorite part.
    Today's the day I eat bikes.

  24. #24
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  25. #25
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    My moving time was 52:23, just over 30 minutes not moving. I was in no particular hurry to put on my pads before the Cheesegrater drop, and I spent at least 5 minutes BSing with a guy named Jeff at the Cheese/VOAZ junction. Plus, I must have taken a nap in there somewhere, didn't seem like I had a 1/2 hour not moving.

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