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  1. #1
    parenting for gnarness
    Reputation: chollaball's Avatar
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    I am a fat sack of crap

    burdened by children, housework, and those peppermint oreos Trader Joe's was blowing out. I expect to be clogging up the trail at a 50 mile race coming soon to a mountain town near you. don't even bother asking me to pass, just navigate your way around my giant butt and leave me to my shame.

    anyone else care to pre-issue any excuses? when all else fails, lower your standards.

  2. #2
    mtbr member
    Reputation: mtbkracr's Avatar
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    Oh come on! your gonna rocket up that 4-5 miles of climbing straight off the start line!
    Racing is life. Anything that happens before or after is just waiting.

    96 Huffy Dr. Shock
    01 Magna girls hybrid

  3. #3
    Need more cowbell
    Reputation: WhiskersOfDeath's Avatar
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    I'm trying to get the GPS coordinates for the aid station so I can have some pizzas delivered...

  4. #4
    Tucson, AZ
    Reputation: azepicriderandrunner's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chollaball
    anyone else care to pre-issue any excuses? when all else fails, lower your standards.
    I am riding a cracked frame.

  5. #5
    aka Swamp ThAAng
    Reputation: shockrwave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chollaball
    burdened by children, housework, and those peppermint oreos Trader Joe's was blowing out. I expect to be clogging up the trail at a 50 mile race coming soon to a mountain town near you. don't even bother asking me to pass, just navigate your way around my giant butt and leave me to my shame.

    anyone else care to pre-issue any excuses? when all else fails, lower your standards.
    Peppermint Jo Jo's kick axe.
    Bulls**t is the glue that binds our nation - George Carlin

  6. #6
    mtbr member
    Reputation: azjonboy's Avatar
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    Peppermint oreo's? I'm still working on Girl Scout thin
    mints!
    If you're lucky enough to be in the mountains,
    you're lucky enough.

  7. #7
    mtbr member
    Reputation: AKA Monkeybutt's Avatar
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    At least you get to race it. I'm stuck talking about biking at work

  8. #8
    mtbr member
    Reputation: Dry Cownty Brewer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chollaball
    burdened by children, housework, and those peppermint oreos Trader Joe's was blowing out. I expect to be clogging up the trail at a 50 mile race coming soon to a mountain town near you. don't even bother asking me to pass, just navigate your way around my giant butt and leave me to my shame.

    anyone else care to pre-issue any excuses? when all else fails, lower your standards.
    I'm with you on the children and work. I was duped into the 25 a week ago, have mechanical issues that I won't have sorted out until Friday so I've been stuck with road training, and.....I've done way too much disc golf and beer drinking instead of riding over the past two months. It should be interesting.
    Making Milk by Day, Beer by Night

  9. #9
    mtbr member
    Reputation: helimech's Avatar
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    Come on now cholla, you'll be fine. No more excuses!.
    JRA

  10. #10
    Pivotal figure
    Reputation: kenbentit's Avatar
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    No comment...
    Desert Sunset Calls/Upward, Pain, Perseverance/Welcome Solitude

  11. #11
    mtbr member
    Reputation: smilinsteve's Avatar
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    A true fat sack of crap such as myself, doesn't get anywhere near a fifty mile race except to read about it on my fat ass in front of a computer screen, like now.

  12. #12
    Disgruntled Peccary
    Reputation: dysfunction's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chollaball
    burdened by children, housework, and those peppermint oreos Trader Joe's was blowing out. I expect to be clogging up the trail at a 50 mile race coming soon to a mountain town near you. don't even bother asking me to pass, just navigate your way around my giant butt and leave me to my shame.

    anyone else care to pre-issue any excuses? when all else fails, lower your standards.
    hey, I'm right there with ya. I'll clog up the TOTM this weekend to be sure.
    mike

  13. #13
    mtbr member
    Reputation: CrackedCrayon's Avatar
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    I will just wave as you go by whilst I push my bike up the big hill.

  14. #14
    mtbr member
    Reputation: tamen00's Avatar
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    I am with all you guys too... I am the chubbiest I have been in many years and not riding my mtb much... But, I am looking forward to the whiskey shot at the top of that hill again this year

  15. #15
    I am Bob
    Reputation: chongoman's Avatar
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    I've got a way to keep you motivated. I'll ride right next to you for a while and chat you up. Here's a preview...
    ex: is that a 29er, ghetto tubes huh? Stan's doesn't work well with kendas dude your screwed, my saddle sores hurt, do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? is that a Horst link? DW link is way better.

  16. #16
    !@#$%&!
    Reputation: zukicidal's Avatar
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    That just means you'll be faster on the downhill when gravity is your friend! )

  17. #17
    mtbr member
    Reputation: smilinsteve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chongoman
    I've got a way to keep you motivated. I'll ride right next to you for a while and chat you up. Here's a preview...
    ex: is that a 29er, ghetto tubes huh? Stan's doesn't work well with kendas dude your screwed, my saddle sores hurt, do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? is that a Horst link? DW link is way better.
    Yep that would definitely get me pedaling faster trying to escape!

  18. #18
    Good luck with that!
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    the part that sucks the most is when the little old lady with the iron man tat on the ankle flies up the hill past my chubby ass as my lungs explode, and says sh*t like "you're doing great".

  19. #19
    pedaller
    Reputation: Noelg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smilinsteve
    A true fat sack of crap such as myself, doesn't get anywhere near a fifty mile race except to read about it on my fat ass in front of a computer screen, like now.
    +1 actually more like +1 1/2....if I wasn't so short I'd be +2...
    "Nobody ever told me not to try" - Curious George Soundtrack by Jack Johnson

  20. #20
    My other ride is your mom
    Reputation: Maadjurguer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chongoman
    I've got a way to keep you motivated. I'll ride right next to you for a while and chat you up. Here's a preview...
    ex: is that a 29er, ghetto tubes huh? Stan's doesn't work well with kendas dude your screwed, my saddle sores hurt, do you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ? is that a Horst link? DW link is way better.
    Stop steeling my lines!

  21. #21
    Dave
    Reputation: liteandfast's Avatar
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    great motivation on here guys. Keep it up. Jason you riding the HEiHEi 29er?
    I need to ride more and work less.

  22. #22
    mtbr member
    Reputation: Linoleum's Avatar
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    Jason - One lap of Pemberton tires me out... you're fine.

    Rich.

  23. #23
    rip the line
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    I can't believe noone knocked this knuckle ball out of the park yet so I'll slam it. Dude, you're not fat.
    "I tried to live always free and above board like you" Cool Hand Luke

  24. #24
    Need more cowbell
    Reputation: WhiskersOfDeath's Avatar
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    Do these shorts make me look fat? Be honest....
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails I am a fat sack of crap-bruno.jpg  


  25. #25
    mtbr member
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    Quote Originally Posted by chollaball
    those peppermint oreos Trader Joe's was blowing out.
    I read that and hopped on the xtracycle to go get some, and now I'll plow through a box while I catch up on the rest of this thread. Thanks!

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