Bikezilla
01-14-2004, 09:24 AM
A passing thought lead to this insane rambling. All in fun. Read it, ignore it, whatever...
It's like 5 degrees out and my bike is still in parts so I'm a little off the wall.
********************* THE RAVEN **************************
As I ponder weak and weary, considering suspension designs, often Leary,
I should happen to hear a tapping, a faint and gentle rapping, a rap-tap-tapping on my workshop door.
I think to myself, 'tis the wind and nothing more.
I return to my musing, of rear shock types, oft' confusing,
of axle paths, and antisquat, of instant centers, and other whatnot,
sinking deeper in my thoughts of what has value and what has naught,
when once again I hear a tapping, that same distracting faintly rapping,
yet again a rap-tap-tapping on my workshop door.
I lift my voice and vocalize, "'tis disruptions I despise!" "Find some other to annoy, now go, and take thee from my door!"
I think to myself 'tis my kid and nothing more.
Now my funk grows dark, and deeper, "I need to know which bike's a keeper!"
How shall I determine which is hype, which bobs like a monkey, and which takes flight?
There's so many kinds, they each claim best, they all can't have rainbows on their chest.
Is it the new or tried and true? With SPVs the field had grew.
Then the mental clouds do lift. finally, I bridge the rift.
"Eureka!" I shout, "I finally see! The answer must be V-P-P!"
I exhale, relieved my search had ended, I plan to have my credit card extended.
And as if on queue, begins the tapping. Now more of knocking than of rapping.
This drives my temper to nearly snapping, and I fling open my tortured workshop door.
And through the portal the imp now flies, a black bird, A RAVEN, with yellow eyes.
And it deftly perches on the chainring nailed above my workshop door.
I then spy something on it's chest. Painted words, "HORST LINK" upon it's vest!
And a little rainbow with a tiny "T", A demon jest I am sure!
Begins the bird, to vainly mock me, "You choice is wrong! it is a lark, see?"
"We've done it better since years before."
Quoth the Raven..."Horst is More!"
Then it turns and upon it's back, a lightning "S"
"This bird I'll Jack!" I think as I reach for a broom to swat it from my door.
Then it shouts out in defiance "What you'll loose is small bump compliance!"
"Chainstay link is what you will adore!"
Quoth the Raven... "Horst is More!"
I shout "V's better, you're out of whack" It answers back "Those Pivots go slack!"
"Zerk grease points are what you need for sure!"
Quoth the Raven... "Horst is More!"
As I reconsider "But Will it climb?" the bird replies "And save you time! you'll crest the peek much quicker than before."
"And of decents?" I ask, "It's strength!" It pines, "It really shines, and holds the lines, and sucks up hits galore!"
Quoth the Raven... "Horst is More!"
So my friends, I was thus swayed, my initial bike choice since belayed. For I'm now convinced newer isn't always better.
If in your quest, you can't decide. The best way to choose is to go and ride. And the one you like then, is really the getter.
Though in my case, I do agree. But in your place your needs may see, a different choice tomake your biking soar.
But on my rides, to meet my chore, the bird was right. I do adore. The chainstay is place the pivots' bore.
Quoth the Raven..."Horst is More!"
(Now back to your regularly scheduled madness)
It's like 5 degrees out and my bike is still in parts so I'm a little off the wall.
********************* THE RAVEN **************************
As I ponder weak and weary, considering suspension designs, often Leary,
I should happen to hear a tapping, a faint and gentle rapping, a rap-tap-tapping on my workshop door.
I think to myself, 'tis the wind and nothing more.
I return to my musing, of rear shock types, oft' confusing,
of axle paths, and antisquat, of instant centers, and other whatnot,
sinking deeper in my thoughts of what has value and what has naught,
when once again I hear a tapping, that same distracting faintly rapping,
yet again a rap-tap-tapping on my workshop door.
I lift my voice and vocalize, "'tis disruptions I despise!" "Find some other to annoy, now go, and take thee from my door!"
I think to myself 'tis my kid and nothing more.
Now my funk grows dark, and deeper, "I need to know which bike's a keeper!"
How shall I determine which is hype, which bobs like a monkey, and which takes flight?
There's so many kinds, they each claim best, they all can't have rainbows on their chest.
Is it the new or tried and true? With SPVs the field had grew.
Then the mental clouds do lift. finally, I bridge the rift.
"Eureka!" I shout, "I finally see! The answer must be V-P-P!"
I exhale, relieved my search had ended, I plan to have my credit card extended.
And as if on queue, begins the tapping. Now more of knocking than of rapping.
This drives my temper to nearly snapping, and I fling open my tortured workshop door.
And through the portal the imp now flies, a black bird, A RAVEN, with yellow eyes.
And it deftly perches on the chainring nailed above my workshop door.
I then spy something on it's chest. Painted words, "HORST LINK" upon it's vest!
And a little rainbow with a tiny "T", A demon jest I am sure!
Begins the bird, to vainly mock me, "You choice is wrong! it is a lark, see?"
"We've done it better since years before."
Quoth the Raven..."Horst is More!"
Then it turns and upon it's back, a lightning "S"
"This bird I'll Jack!" I think as I reach for a broom to swat it from my door.
Then it shouts out in defiance "What you'll loose is small bump compliance!"
"Chainstay link is what you will adore!"
Quoth the Raven... "Horst is More!"
I shout "V's better, you're out of whack" It answers back "Those Pivots go slack!"
"Zerk grease points are what you need for sure!"
Quoth the Raven... "Horst is More!"
As I reconsider "But Will it climb?" the bird replies "And save you time! you'll crest the peek much quicker than before."
"And of decents?" I ask, "It's strength!" It pines, "It really shines, and holds the lines, and sucks up hits galore!"
Quoth the Raven... "Horst is More!"
So my friends, I was thus swayed, my initial bike choice since belayed. For I'm now convinced newer isn't always better.
If in your quest, you can't decide. The best way to choose is to go and ride. And the one you like then, is really the getter.
Though in my case, I do agree. But in your place your needs may see, a different choice tomake your biking soar.
But on my rides, to meet my chore, the bird was right. I do adore. The chainstay is place the pivots' bore.
Quoth the Raven..."Horst is More!"
(Now back to your regularly scheduled madness)