First of all, if men shouldn't post here, my appologies. I have a question to ask to help my wife regain some confidence and help me be supportive in the correct way. A bit of background. I met my wife at a cycling fundraiser for heart disease about 4 years ago. We both enjoyed mt biking and our first date was supposed to be a nice ride through the woods that turned into a 10 hour slogfest until we got back to the vehicle. you learn a lot about someone that way. we've been cycling together ever since and have been married just over a year now. She is generally at least as fast as i am on flats or uphill and just a touch more timid on the technical/downhill stuff. last summer she had a crash and ruptured her kidney in a freak accident(a section of easy trail she rides anytime without a problem). we rode a bit in the later fall together and she's become quite timid on any downhill or technical stuff. we've done some cross country skiing for the winter and she's got that down as well as ever(and always wups my butt- up or down hill). I'm hoping the spring riding restores the confidence that she had and she really starts to enjoy it again, she's a very good rider but there appear to be head issues going on right now- confidence problems. she suggests i "go ride with the boys" because she's too timid. i have no problem riding with her and don't ride on ahead. she's my team but i get the impression she thinks she's holding me back.
my question(s): how do i encourage her without her feeling like i am pushing too hard?
i bought her fore-arm pads before the accident and that helps with confidence - is there a kidney/ abdomen(sp?) protection that might help as well-she's asked about getting something like that?
I've offered to get her into a ladies only riding camp but she thinks they are going to be filled with young north-shore types and she will feel even worse after (we aren't spring chickens anymore). any recommendations? calgary, canada
any other suggestions for help here. We enjoy the hours in the woods riding and i really just want to spend the time together again.

Wow, that's really rough. On the bright side, you guys seem like a great couple.

As a woman who has crashed and burned one too many times I can tell you it takes awhile to get your confidence back. The riding camps are a great idea too. And my guess is the women will be very welcoming no matter the age. It's great too see older women riding.

I definately think pads are the way to go (check the online retailers) and possibly a bike with more travel. Once she gets a bit more confidence back she may sell the bike and the pads.

Those are my inital thoughts so far. And hey, invite her to post here too.

Good luck!

Ghisallo's suggestions are good. Another suggestion, and this comes from my own experience where I'm still learning and my hubby-to-be has been riding for over ten years. He's fast and I if I don't feel top notch on my ride, I'll usually tell him to ride on because I feel like I'm holding him back (which he says I'm not). It depends on the woman, but when I'm struggling with mental issues, fears, meager confidence, I still enjoy riding with Brian, but I don't mind him riding to the next hill top or trail intersection and waiting for me. Then I don't feel like I'm slowing him down and I don't have anything else on my mind beside myself, the bike, and the trail.

It also really helps me when he shares his experience on the trail. For example, "whoa, the root half way down that decent about ate me back there." He is a very confident person and when my confidence is shakey on a ride, for me to hear him say something about what made my heart jump helps me to justify my reaction. Otherwise, I'm condeming myself a little because "it's just a little root" is going through my mind.

In answer to your question, I have 3 annecdotes for you:

1) A friend of my husband is a BIG guy...6'8"(no that's not a typo...his wife is 6', you should see their kids) and a weight-lifter. He was playing basketball, fell on a guy's knee, and screwed-up his kidney to the point that it had to be removed. Point is: freak accidents happen to everybody.

2) I broke my leg a few years ago (as I'm sure everyone on this board is sick of hearing about). It was June when I broke it. I was walking by August, riding fireroads by September, and singletrack by October. BUT...it was not until one day in February-a day I remember quite well-that I suddenly felt normal again, lost most of the fear, and really started having fun riding the bike again. If she stays with it, just walking the scary stuff, I think the fear will go away. Well, most of it. I don't go quite as fast on the downhills as I used to, but it's a conscious decision now...she who brakes and walks away lives to ride another day...something like that.

3. I went to a Women's Mtn Bike weekend sponsored by Suburu once. You were supposed to rank yourself Beginner, Intermediate, Expert to be placed in groups. My friend and I checked Intermediate because we both raced Sport. We wound up switching to the Expert group after a couple of hours and found we were waiting on some of the instructors at the top of the hill. My point? I bet she'll be surprised at how fast she is compared to the majority of the girls.

Hope all that was some help. Best of Luck to you both

Are fireroads beneath you guys? Sounds like it's gotten hard for her mind and body to forget that accident :( She needs to get that riding-in-the-zone feeling back. I'm wondering if you could find something new, something you guys have never ridden, that doesn't have a lot of other bikers on it. Then you guys could go out exploring for the day... get her thinking about what lies ahead and is around the corner... the future instead of the past. If her mind gets cleared, then maybe the feeling of turning those pedals will help her get rid of the negative doubts/feelings she has. Maybe get a GPS and play with that too :)

I'd have to agree with the ladies that agree with a camp idea - I've done a couple at Whistler and they are fab-u-lous. They did a great job evaluating our skills and broke the large group into 4 smaller ones (originally there were supposed to be 3 groups but the natural breakdown became 4, so they found another instructor) so everyone had a good time. The camps are awesome too, not just for skill/confidence building, but as a chance to meet other women riders and swap stories and such, and maybe find someone new to ride with.

I'd also have to 2nd the idea too of her wearing whatever armour/additional protection makes her feel more comfortable. As her confidence grows, she may decide to drop certain pieces, or she may not. But if it takes a full-face helmet and full leg, arm and chest protection (with the kidney belt) to get her riding again then I can't see what the harm is.

There is a local mountain trail system on which I have crashed really hard at least 3 times, always in different spots. Knocked myself out once, broke a finger once, and (probably) cracked my sternum once. Needless to say that area freaks the living cr@p outta me, but I strap on the full face and all the armour I have and away we go. Takes alot of gutz for me to do that first drop in....

There is a local mountain trail system on which I have crashed really hard at least 3 times, always in different spots. Knocked myself out once, broke a finger once, and (probably) cracked my sternum once. Needless to say that area freaks the living cr@p outta me, but I strap on the full face and all the armour I have and away we go. Takes alot of gutz for me to do that first drop in....

Wow! You are definitely more of a woman than I am! Way to go, grrl.

You gals talk so highly of those camps. I think I'm going to have to check them out. I'm sure there's a lot I could learn. Like how to do wheelies over logs :)

Wow! You are definitely more of a woman than I am! Way to go, grrl.

You gals talk so highly of those camps. I think I'm going to have to check them out. I'm sure there's a lot I could learn. Like how to do wheelies over logs :)


There is a women's only weekend in big bear in July (southern California). Went last year and it was really fun.
http://www.teambigbear.com/event.php3?event_id=70

There was also one in Santa Cruz last year but haven't heard if that one is on.

A women's camp at whistler sounds AWESOME. :)

Hi TCP

Firstly sorry to hear about your wife's accident but sounds like she is on the mend. She is a lucky gal to have such a caring husband.

Now about getting her back into it. I agree with the other posts here about the women's camps.

I am 43 yo and located in Australia. I took up Mountain Biking less than 1 year ago and love it. I have had my share of off-bike experiences but so far nothing more serious than cuts and grazes.

Just recently I attended a Women's MTB Weekend in Thredbo, Australia (which is a ski resort in winter so would be a bit like riding in Whistler). On the first day we were assessed on our skills and given some pointers. They then decked us out in body armour and took us up the chairlift to have a go at the downhill.

The instructors were fantastic and mostly female so understood where we were coming from. There was no embarrasement or humiliation if you got of and walked bits, you just went at your own pace and they patiently waited.

During the afternoon some of the gals when back up to do the downhill and the remainder spent time on a XC course honing cornering, braking skills etc.

The next day we went back up the chairlift and did the downhill again and then in the afternoon spent time on 4X and wheelie drops.

I was totally amazed that by the end of the weekend I could launch myself off the side of the road to the grass below (probably about 3 feet drop). Would never have done that without the clinic.

As your wife has been a confident rider and has just 'lost it' due to the injury, I am sure that in a camp environment, decked out in all the protective gear she will make the break through that she needs.

I would still class myself as an intermediate rider and expect to eat dirt many more times but certainly have gained both skills and confidence by attending a womens camp.