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  1. #1
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    Funniest bike marketing slogans

    That Cannondale Jekyll thread got me looking at their website and thinking of just how outrageous bike marketing has gotten. Post your favorites.

    A few gems, courtesy of Cannondale:

    OverMountain does what "all-mountain" can't.
    For anyone who's ever wished they could ride their XC bike to the top of the hill and their long-travel bike back down, we present the OverMountain bikes; a family of dual-travel, dual-personality superbikes so versatile and so capable that they needed a category all their own.

    Claymore. Named after the Claidheamh Mor, the legendary two-handed Scottish broadsword. For Warriors. Prepare for battle.

    In either BallisTec carbon or sophisticated SmartFormed alloy, the incredibly light, unbelievably tough Jekyll frames let you climb with the whippets, but descend with the pitbulls.
    Gotta get up to get down.
    LMB

  2. #2
    usually cranky
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    just pull up any bike manufacture website close your eyes and point. it has gotten outragous.

  3. #3
    Its got what plants crave
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    So wait... OverMountain is more extreme than All Mountain now? I guess I have to buy a new bike if I ever expect to keep up.


    Guess I'll need all new apparel, tires, and wheels too. This is going to be expensive.
    Ocala Mountain Bike Association - www.omba.org

  4. #4
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    I just copied what i wrote in the other thread..

    yea....that marketing phrase kinda hipocritical. If you can ride all of the mountain...doesn't that mean you can go over the mountain? If so then how does Over Mountain do what All Mountain can't when they mean the same. In fact Over Mountain sounds like it can do less..as the bike can only go over the mountain but not conquer all of the mountain.

    Cannondale go fire your Marketing Team....they don't even understand syntax. Aren't these guys suppose to be communication majors?

    To add onto that "OverMountain bikes; a family of dual-travel, dual-personality superbikes so versatile and so capable that they needed a category all their own"
    It shouldn't be called OverMountain, instead they should call it Schizophrenik Bike category.

    P.S. I love the Jekyll and don't hate Cannondale. I ride one and I'm also quite interested in getting the new Jekyll also.

  5. #5
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    don't know if it is funny but it certainly is stupid ..."29er Size Does Matter" on a tee.
    always face the herd

  6. #6
    usually cranky
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim311
    So wait... OverMountain is more extreme than All Mountain now? I guess I have to buy a new bike if I ever expect to keep up.


    Guess I'll need all new apparel, tires, and wheels too. This is going to be expensive.
    the main thing is now you need to drink code red instead of regular dew. as long as you do that you will still be exxxtreme.

  7. #7
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    Also, if you ride a Claymore, does it mean you have to wear a kilt, paint your face blue, and scream FREEDOM! as you're barreling down the mountain? Not gonna lie, that would be pretty damn funny though.
    Gotta get up to get down.
    LMB

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jim311
    So wait... OverMountain is more extreme than All Mountain now? I guess I have to buy a new bike if I ever expect to keep up.


    Guess I'll need all new apparel, tires, and wheels too. This is going to be expensive.
    The whole OverMountain thing sounds like Billy Madison marketing to me. "You're not cool unless you pee your pants!"
    *now everyone should go pee their pants*

    You won't understand that unless you've seen the movie.
    Gotta get up to get down.
    LMB

  9. #9
    nocturnal oblivion
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    That's pretty terrible. Claymore? Ballistech? Smartformed? Overmountain? Whippets and Pitbulls? I'm absolutely speechless.
    Great find. Better than Kona's Abracadabra Magic for sure.
    "...like sex with the trail." - Boe

  10. #10
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    Is there any harm in believing hype?
    Our experience is framed by our attitude.
    Maybe I've just gotten lucky, but I have 2 bikes, a Nomad and a VTach.
    The Nomad is marketed as a trail bike one could freeride, and I've taken it to Northstar and Plattekill and had a ton of fun.
    The VTach is sold as a freeride big hit bike for people who have to pedal to get to the goods, and I rode it last weekend at Blue Mountain, NY (punchy techy east coast singletrack that plenty of people ride rigid singlespeed) and had a blast.
    I've never felt like I've had the 'wrong' bike because I choose to believe the hype/marketing.
    And, ya know, riding a bike in the woods= all is well with the world.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by BaeckerX1
    The whole OverMountain thing sounds like Billy Madison marketing to me. "You're not cool unless you pee your pants!"
    *now everyone should go pee their pants*

    You won't understand that unless you've seen the movie.
    Well heeelllooo Mr Pengien.

  12. #12
    Infidel
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    Diamondback's bikes are made from "WEAPONS GRADE ALUMINUM". LOL!

  13. #13
    Its got what plants crave
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    Quote Originally Posted by BaeckerX1
    The whole OverMountain thing sounds like Billy Madison marketing to me. "You're not cool unless you pee your pants!"
    *now everyone should go pee their pants*

    You won't understand that unless you've seen the movie.

    OverMountain...


    ITS DA COOLEST!
    Ocala Mountain Bike Association - www.omba.org

  14. #14
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    Well then consider me Miles Davis!!!

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by KYMtnBkr
    Diamondback's bikes are made from "WEAPONS GRADE ALUMINUM". LOL!
    Yeah, I'd really like to know what weapons they're referring to. Missiles? Rockets? Rifles? I only want surface to air missile aluminum on my AM bike because it's lightweight and will help my bike get airborne. On my freeride bike I need RPG aluminum to handle the abuse.
    Gotta get up to get down.
    LMB

  16. #16
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    A couple of years ago Specialized had the slogan in their catalogue

    "Taking stiffness to new levels".

    Maybe they meant it as a funny.
    "Chancho. When you are a man sometimes you wear stretchy pants... Its for fun..."

  17. #17
    usually cranky
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    Quote Originally Posted by BaeckerX1
    Yeah, I'd really like to know what weapons they're referring to. Missiles? Rockets? Rifles? I only want surface to air missile aluminum on my AM bike because it's lightweight and will help my bike get airborne. On my freeride bike I need RPG aluminum to handle the abuse.
    shotgun slugs.

  18. #18
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  19. #19
    RiffRaff
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    Specialized ads for there 29ers.

    "imagine the confidence another 3 inches will give you"
    "If Liberace was alive, he'd be proud to ride that mofo."

  20. #20
    Truly Doneski
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    Hahahaha. This thread has gone in a hilarious and unexpected direction.
    Originally Posted by Bmateo1:
    Joyous Day in Woods
    Thoughtless Jackwagon, piss near
    Chudzpah, Passion Lost

  21. #21
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    Muahahahah! Specialized 29er one is funny!

  22. #22
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    This line from Ellsworth made me laugh a little.

    "Go ahead and get lost on the new Evolution sst.2 120, the legendary Ellsworth quality and performance will get you home."

    How, is the bike made out of GPS?

    Next time I get lost I'm going to stop and ask my bike for directions.
    Gotta get up to get down.
    LMB

  23. #23
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    maybe this is what all the marketing people wanted...us to talk about it...

    + 1 for the specialized 29er one though, i wonder how many guys small in the pants bought into that one...
    2008 Kona Caldera

    "Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon....
    I seriously thought he was going to rape me"

  24. #24
    T.W.O.
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    Good thread

    I remember the unofficial I9 slogan "Kings are for Queens anyways"

    So where does OM fit in between AM and FR or FR and DH

  25. #25
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    I saw one in 2000 like this...

    GT had one back in the day. It showed a racer celebrating a win, with a girl, in bed. The girl had a dissapointed look on her face, and across the top it read "we do everything fast."

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